Monday, October 31, 2016

October 31

It was a rather busy Halloween. I watched the costume parade at the elementary school this morning and then popped in and out of the Little Boys' classrooms to be sure their parties were progressing as planned. (I'm the room mom for each, so I feel a sense of responsibility! Fortunately, all was well.) Then I mailed some packages at the post office, downed a quick cup of coffee (okay, well, a cup and a half), and headed back to the school to pick up Brady. Then an hour later, I returned to the school to pick up Isaac and then drove to the middle school to retrieve Abby, who I found sitting on our friends' front porch waiting for me. (Fortunately, she wasn't mad. In fact, she was tickled pink over winning a costume contest during her PE class and was busting at the seams to tell me all about it.)

Then this evening, it was all about the trick-or-treating.

And since I'm me, it was also a little bit about the photos.

I've taken this particular picture each year for the last several, and I can clearly remember Logan being there with them on the couch. Smiling in his tiger suit one year and in his Lightning McQueen pit crew member outfit another. And then there was his last Halloween with us, when he dressed up like Finn McMissile. I remember how he didn't really feel much like going out, but managed to hit a few houses before he'd had enough. But beyond that, I remember how he smiled for my photos that year in spite of his own discomfort. And though I miss him even more on days like today that are supposed to be so much fun, I'm so thankful that his smile lit up my life, if only for a little while. I'm thankful that I'll see it again someday, and that I get to see shades of it right now in these three wonderful people: the leopard, the Minion, and Wednesday Addams.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

October 30

We've historically carved our pumpkins on Halloween, but given the rainy weather today, we opted to tackle the task a day early.

Each kiddo used a black Sharpie to draw a freehand design on the pumpkin he/she chose. Then Adam carved the Little Boys' designs, while Abby chose to do her own. Lambie, of course, oversaw the proceedings.

They're not everything, of course, and sometimes they change over time, but traditions are an awful lot of fun. And having fun with family is definitely a blessing to me.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

October 29

It was... a day. That about sums it up. This was one of the bright spots:

It's the top of my salted caramel mocha, which I enjoyed while out with my girl.

A small thing, but one that made my day taste a lot better.

Friday, October 28, 2016

October 28

Since the short(ish; they just keep getting taller so I won't be able to use the term much longer) people didn't have school today, I took them out for brunch at Black Bear Diner. They were, for the most part, well-behaved while we were there, and even when there was a quiet disturbance at our table by a child who shall remain nameless, another child redeemed the act by comforting the victim-child.

When we got up to leave, the woman at the table to next to ours stopped me, and told me that I have a darling family. I thanked her, but she had no idea how much that remark meant to me. In fact, as I headed toward the exit, my heart almost exploded with pride.

Parenting is hard. Really, it's no joke. It's not always fun, and I'm constantly striving to make sure my children are polite, well-mannered and kind. So when someone I've never met takes a moment to tell me they're cute, it makes me feel like I'm doing okay. And that is a blessing.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

October 27

So I'll put it out there right off the bat: the look on Abby's face here is pretty severe. But that's the point: she's Wednesday Addams. Quirky, dark Wednesday Addams from "The Addams Family".

After several years of ballet and tap, Abby went off the grid a little this year and is taking musical theater. And she absolutely loves it. Tonight her class did their Halloween dance, and she looked positively gleeful --despite the serious expression-- the entire time. It doesn't happen often these days --in fact, sometimes I think she lost much of her motivation to try new things when Logan died-- but she glowed when she did this dance.

And my heart couldn't possibly have smiled any harder while I watched her have fun, because she deserves to let loose and have a good time now and again. I am so thankful that she's found something she genuinely enjoys.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

October 26

We spend a half an hour at swimming lessons each Wednesday evening. I deliberately show up a wee bit early to be sure I can get a parking spot, and then we go in and watch until our time rolls around. Today, I managed to snap this sweet pic of the Little Boys as they waited.

I know I've said it a thousand times before (maybe even literally one thousand times), but it always bears repeating: brotherly love is a beautiful thing. And it's especially beautiful when it's real; when they don't know that I'm taking a picture and they're just being themselves.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

October 25

As a stay-at-home mom, I'm gifted with the ability to go on school field trips with my kids. Today, I drove Isaac and two of his classmates to a local park to learn more about the Native Americans who used to populate the area.

I don't get to see Isaac with kids his age particularly often, so it's always interesting to see with whom he hangs out and how he responds to them and to adults. It was utterly gratifying to see that even when he didn't notice that I was watching, he was always respectful and kind.

Bonus time with my boy coupled with reassurance that he's still doing the right things: double blessings for my Tuesday.

Monday, October 24, 2016

October 24

I think I've mentioned it before, but Abby drew something of a short straw when it came to her schedule this year in that she doesn't share a lunch period with any of her good friends. After realizing that a few other "friends" were treating her as a second-best option, she decided to eat alone, and then do homework. So that's what she does each day. I don't love it; the me of 26-years ago cringes at the idea of spending lunchtime solo, but she claims she's fine with her arrangement, so I keep my worries to myself.

That was long-winded, sorry, but it leads into my main point for this entry.

Abby met Gracie a few years ago, partly at church and partly in her tap class. (At some point back then, we had an exchange that involved her saying 'I think Gracie from church is in my dance class' and me responding 'oh, who's Gracie?' Eventually I figured it out.) They're similar in many ways, and they always have fun when they get together.

Especially given that Abby is a bit socially isolated at school, I'm thankful that she has a friend like Gracie.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

October 23

I'm not entirely sure what prompted her, but Abby asked me if she and the Little Boys could work on a Scooby Doo Lego set I bought several months ago. I said okay, and after straightening up the living room a bit, they got to work on their project.

It was good to see them all sitting together, reading their instructions, building something together. There's something so sweet about watching them accomplish a goal together.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

October 22

We mixed up our usual weekend routine and went for a walk in the hills on the other side of town early this afternoon.

It was a beautiful day, there was minimal bickering (after the requisite moaning when Adam first proposed the stroll), and the walk was an easy one. A blessing all-around and I got to spend time with my favorite people on the planet.

Friday, October 21, 2016

October 21

I was in the die-cast cars aisle at Target a few days ago when I ran into a guy I met at Toys R Us a few months back. During our brief chat at the time, I'd mentioned that I collect Corvettes in memory of my son, and I guess the conversation stuck in his mind, because the first thing he said to me was 'your son... Corvettes... I have something for you.' Then he asked if I'd found this year's Super Treasure Hunt Corvette, and when I said no, he handed me a business card and said to drop him a note. I was floored, both by his memory and by his generosity.

So I arranged to meet up with him outside Target today. He handed me the promised car, and then surprised me again by refusing to take any payment. He just smiled and said it wasn't necessary, and to just pay it forward in some way.

This world is full of selfish people who are out only for themselves, so this random guy's thoughtfulness was so encouraging. He remembered me, he remembered me talking about my sweet boy, and he made a conscious decision to forego profit he could've made from selling it --because Super Treasure Hunts have high resale values-- in favor of doing a really kind thing for someone he hardly knows.

It's a blessing to be reminded that there are still good people wandering around in this world.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

October 20

Ken was my first Bible study leader back in college, so we go back 20 years now. He emailed me and Adam a few weeks ago to say that he'd be visiting our area today, so I was happy to meet him for breakfast this morning. And I have to tell you all, it was awesome.

It was great to catch up on what he and his amazing wife Ana (seriously, I love this chick) and their kids have been up to for the past few years. It was great to share the struggles we've weathered (and continue to face) and the joys we've experienced. And it was totally awesome to feel God working and moving during our conversation.

There's really nothing like re-connecting --and sharing life-- with old friends.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

October 19

I love unexpected visits from friends. I did what I often do on weekday mornings after drop-off: I went to Starbucks, ordered a coffee, and sat down to get some work done on my laptop. I was right smack in the middle of writing up my recent interview with celebrity chef Robert Irvine when I sensed someone standing in front of me. I looked up and saw Kristine, who was one of our best friends during the college years.

She couldn't stick around long because she had to get to work across the bay, but it was such a mood-lifter to spend those precious few minutes catching up.

I may not agree with my friends on every single issue, but having them in my life is such a blessing.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

October 18

Logan is constantly on my mind since he's not here with me physically. Abby has transformed into my (not so) little buddy lately, and she's always telling me what's going on and how she's feeling (because whether she means to or not, I can usually decipher what she means when she talks). Brady is my baby. And Isaac is... Isaac. I hate to admit it, but he's usually the one who fades into the background, probably because he's such an exceedingly kind boy who doesn't need or command a lot of supervision. So it was nice to have a few minutes of alone-time with him this evening while Adam ferried Brady off to the restroom at Costco.

I'm so proud of this kid. He's always the first to help out, and wants to try all sorts of activities, from baseball to running to the garden club to being a kindness ambassador at school. And he never demands recognition for what he chooses to do; he just does things because he feels like he should do them.

He's a blessing, bar none.

Monday, October 17, 2016

October 17

There's something about the day after a big rainstorm that's just refreshing. The air is much cleaner, the skies are clearer, and, in this particular case, the ground is littered with fallen --and fragrant-- leaves. As I pulled up to the park by the school this morning, I looked out the window and noticed something else, too: the sky was dotted with tiny, fluttering bugs. It's hard to see them, but they're there:

I guess it probably sounds kind of icky, but there was something elegant about the way they flitted about in the air, completely free and completely in harmony. Just a moment of unexpected beauty noticed on an otherwise ordinary day.

And hey, even if you can't see them, you can see the light filtered through the tree branches. That's pretty beautiful, too, and I didn't even notice it when I took the photo.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

October 16

It poured down rain most of the day. Although it's always something of a bummer to "lose" a weekend day, we're still living under a drought, so the influx of moisture is a good thing. Anyhow, the skies cleared for a time during the early evening hours, so we took our usual walk.

It was just another walk. Abby, wearing her rain boots, trudged through every puddle we came upon, but otherwise matched me stride-for-stride and giggled as she told me made-up-on-the-spot stories. Isaac alternated between walking hand-in-hand with Adam and policing his little brother. And Brady chose the longest stick he could find and dragged it through each puddle he found, watching with glee as the liquid parted and then came together over and over and over again.

Everyday moments are blessings.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

October 15

It's not unusual for Isaac and Brady to hug each other, even when we're out in public places. But when Abby joins in on the fun, it gets my attention.

The Little Boys were goofing around after they'd finished lunch this afternoon. They posed together and asked me to take a picture. Then Abby posed by herself and requested a photo. And then, much to my surprise, she jumped up from her seat, plunked down next to Brady, put her arms around them, and posed. They all smiled as I pointed my phone in their direction and captured the image.

It's not a perfect photo because Logan isn't in it, but I always feel blessed during these harmonious moments. No, it's not perfect, but it's still good.

Friday, October 14, 2016

October 14

I'm glad it's Friday because I'm tired. I've done a poor job of trying to find signs of God's presence lately, and most of the refuse that is showing up on my radar is just that: trash. And all of the negativity is most definitely wearing me down.

Anyway, a brighter-side-of-life moment from today came when Brady got home from school and announced that he wanted to make a book.

He asked me to spell out a few color names and then decided that he'd read the letters from crayon wrappers on his own. I'm not entirely sure what the book is about, but it's cute and it did my heart good to see him working so independently on his own project.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

October 13

While we waited for Brady's school day to begin, he rifled through a drawer of stickers in the kitchen and came away with a Superman tattoo. He was pleased with the find, so he asked me to put it on his hand.

Afterward, I could tell that he loved it because he couldn't stop looking down at his hand. He carefully avoided touching it with the sleeve of his jacket when it was time to head to class, and mused over how he wished he could find a second one for the other hand so he could be a double-super hero.

In this messy, contentious world, that sweet innocence is such a blessing.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

October 12

I was sitting down to rest this evening when I noticed the little set-up Brady arranged on the family room floor this afternoon. He'd put together some kind of parking lot and placed two Hot Wheels cars inside: a slick green sports cars with glow in the dark wheels that I bought for him a month ago, and this one:

Now to a lot of folks, this truck wouldn't mean anything, but it means quite a lot to me for two related reasons. For one, Logan loved flame jobs, so I always think of him when I see one on a vehicle. And two, I have zero memory of when this particular car joined our collection. So in a way, it's like Logan himself put it there for Brady to find and use.

It's such a blessing when a small, everyday object elicits such strong, happy memories of my Sunshine.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

October 11

Every now and then, I'll see something out in nature that literally takes my breath away. I had one of those moments this afternoon while we waited for Isaac to get out of school. Brady was playing near a large old tree in the park. I've walked by this particular tree thousands of times, but I'd never really stopped to look up into its branches until today.

Maybe it was the filtered sunlight or the way the thousands upon thousands of leaves rustled in the breeze or how the branches reached unencumbered toward the sky or maybe it was something else entirely, but I felt an instant sense of awe as I looked upward. Sometimes, there's something comforting about feeling very small.

Creation is pretty awesome.

October 10

I went up to bed a few minutes ago, but suddenly remembered I hadn't yet blogged today. I remember thinking more than once that I should do it as the night wore on, but somehow, the thoughts repeatedly escaped me and never translated themselves into anything tangible. Anyhow, I came downstairs and checked my phone for images, and all I found was a trio of silly-kid pics. Here's one of them:

I'm not entirely sure what was happening here, but I think it began when Isaac misinterpreted something Abby said as "come here so I can give you a hug." So he tried to hug her, she resisted, and he wound up sitting on her. And because Brady can't resist a good dogpile, he appeared out of nowhere and plopped himself atop the heap. There was giggling and screeching and jostling for position. And then I took some pictures, which prompted Abby to exclaim "YOU'RE NOT PUTTING THOSE ONLINE, ARE YOU?!" which in turn prompted me to snicker out loud, since you know, she knows me so she knew darn well that they'd appear online eventually.

You're probably thinking "there's not really a point to this, is there?" And you're probably right, on some level. But on another, you're not, because this picture represents one of those precious fleeting moments that makes me smile, and given the ugliness that dominates our culture right now, those grin-inducing experiences are substantial blessings.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

October 9

Abby spent much of the weekend that didn't involve the pumpkin patch working on her first big quarter-long project for Language Arts.

She wrote and painstakingly illustrated a children's version of "Little Women." There were a number of options given, but I wasn't even remotely surprised by her choice: she enjoys spending time with kids, can hardly wait until she's old enough to baby-sit, and still says she wants to teach preschool when she grows up.

I'm genuinely impressed with what she put together. It's really a huge blessing and an honor to be able to watch her --and influence her-- as she continues to grow and think and mature. And as someone who used to create and illustrate books for fun when I was her age, seeing her do the same gives me an awesome kick of nostalgia.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

October 8

Today we took our customary trip to Pastorino's Pumpkin Farm. There are plenty of pumpkin patches that require less of a drive, but we've gone to this particular little spot in Half Moon Bay every single October since before we even had kids, so making the journey is a treasured tradition for our family.

The trip was longer than usual as it seemed like lots of people considered the sunshine and warm temperatures the perfect makings for a good harvest-centric jaunt, but the kids were amazingly patient and the bickering remained at a minimum, so the drive was pleasant enough.

When we arrived, we parked, took our usual photo in front of the entrance gate, and then grabbed a wheelbarrow to find our ideal gourds. Both Isaac and Brady opted for pumpkins of the ginormous variety, and it was amusing to watch them heave their hefty picks into the wheelbarrow. Abby was a bit more choosy when it came to the task of making her selection, but finally made a decision, and then all three asked if they could pick a pumpkin for Logan. So, with Lambie in tow to help with the process, they wandered among rows and rows of small ones before each made a careful selection.

In my mind's eye, I could see Logan as a toddler, wearing a little blue and brown jacket as he trolled down the path between the pumpkins at Pastorino's. And smiling like a carefree little man on a very special mission. I like to go back every year because I can remember that scene so clearly. And since memories are what I have of him for now, I treasure any chances I get to bring them to the forefront of my mind.

Friday, October 7, 2016

October 7

We watched "Frozen" tonight. Of course, we've seen it bunches of times and to be honest, Anna and Elsa both annoy me. But it has catchy music and Olaf is cute. And the ending always hits me soundly in the gut.

Yes, there's Anna's grand gesture of love, which saves the day and restores order to all. But it's the moment in which all seems lost --when she stands there, literally frozen-- that speaks to me the most. There's a sense of desperate urgency in that moment as everyone collectively wonders if life will ever be the same.

Of course, it all worked out for them because it's a Disney movie. I've had that kind of moment in my life, and as you know, it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, the way that I prayed it would for over a year. In a way, I'm still standing there in that moment, watching and waiting for things to turn out okay. Fortunately, because of Jesus, I know that eventually, they will.

I just have to wait.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

October 6

After dinner tonight, both of the Little Boys followed their customary script and asked what else they could have to eat. (No doubt an early indicator of what teenager-hood will be like at our house.) Both were told they could have an apple, so Isaac plucked one from the basket, and Adam cut another in half for Brady (who hasn't quite gotten the hang of the whole 'eating entire apples' thing quite yet). Rather than immediately digging in, Brady turned his apples into performance art.

Look, I have really big cheeks! he exclaimed, followed by take a picture so I can see!. So that's what I did. And now I have a visual reminder of yet another of his creative moments.

The kiddos drive me crazy at times, it's true, but being a mom is bar none the most important, most rewarding job I've ever had.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

October 5

I had a meeting with Brady's teacher this afternoon. My little muffin was very patient while we went over the year's calendar. At one point, he approached with a sheet of paper to ask if he could color, and of course, she said yes. This is what we made:

He presented it to me as we left the classroom and he said it was for me. He explained that the person was either me or Mrs. Gibson (his teacher), and that the scene was inspired by Mario (as in the Nintendo Mario). I really didn't understand the logic, but I smiled and nodded and told him that it's a lovely picture. And I think it is; I especially like the blue flower, both because it looks like a rose --which is one of my favorite flowers-- and because the lines he drew to create the petals look so sophisticated for a kindergartner's hand.

These sweet pieces are artwork are such big blessings to me. They're gifts from the heart, and those are the best presents of all.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

October 4

First off, happy birthday to my younger brother Charlie! I hope it was a great one.

As for me, it wasn't the greatest day ever. I had a dizzy spell last night that left me feeling kind of lousy throughout most of it, so I tried to stick to my schedule and just lie low. At one point, I found myself sitting at the dining room table, looking at these:

My very sweet friend Nikki left them --and an equally sweet note-- by my front door yesterday afternoon.

And today, I sat and looked at them and let ruminations on the blessing that is friendship really seep into my heart. It is such a tremendous gift to be able to navigate the ups and downs of this life with friends.

Monday, October 3, 2016

October 3

I love watching these two boys love on each other.

I don't have pretty words or a big story tonight, only this sweet image of the Little Boys as they cuddled on the couch after dinner. Everything in this world eventually comes down to love, and some days --most, really-- it's important to keep that truth in mind.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

October 2

We went to a church picnic after the service this morning. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll tell you that I didn't want to go, and we only went because I'm a deacon and I felt like I should go. I'm not big on crowds and the idea of forced, awkward conversations when I just don't feel like being social is totally puke-worthy. But as it turns out, I'm glad we went.

Abby's been telling me for some time now that she wants to be a preschool teacher. She did a great job as an assistant in the preschool class at VBS over the summer and is eager to be old enough to start baby-sitting. And at the picnic, she did an amazing --really amazing-- job of entertaining the little ones. No one asked her to do it, but she let them chase her and tackle her and dump handfuls of leaves in her hair. And she did it with a smile.

Seeing her show that brand of patient love to little children was such a blessing to me, and even though I know I didn't really have much to do with it, it filled my heart with a sense of pride.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

October 1

October already! It seems like I just had a birthday... and my birthday is in January. Fast year.

Anyway, today was just another ordinary day: we had lunch at our usual spot, Abby went to a friend's house, and I did some solo shopping. Then this evening, we took our customary walk.

Given that we started the week with temps that topped 100 degrees, today was quite pleasant: low 70s, sun, and air quality that didn't make my lungs cry out in agony. It was a lovely evening for a walk together. Just a little thing, but a blessing nonetheless.