April 30

Brady had a game this evening. It wasn't exactly warm at the Sports Park, but the boys did their best to turn up the temperature with some spirited cheers in the dugout. And Brady was definitely a ringleader.

I love that baseball is helping to instill a sense of team spirit in him (and in Isaac). Given the way the world works these days it's quite easy to be self-absorbed, so hearing them cheer for their friends is a very good thing indeed.

April 29

So yeah. This is my 13 1/2 year old daughter.

She had her dance pictures this morning --they're performing to "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" this go-round-- and as is my custom, I snapped a few cell pics as we headed out the door. She struck a variety of poses --mostly silly ones and mostly with her face turned away from the camera-- but I also managed to snag this one, I think because she didn't realize I was taking it.

I just cannot believe how much she's grown and changed over the past year. And I really can't believe how quickly the last 13 1/2 years have flown by. I may suffer from a case of Mom Bias, but I think she's smart and funny and witty and beautiful. And my prayer for her as she gets ready to start high school in the fall is that she continues to realize and embrace her own amazing value as a child of God.

April 28

There were many things to love about today. There was a 10-pitch, 1-2-3 inning for Isaac (who rarely pitches), a nice hit for Brady, a pleasant (albeit very late) lunch with the family (during which I took a pretty epic video clip of Abby doing the Macarena), an evening Target run with my girl, and the Little League family fun day that included a crazy pick-up game that pretty much threw all caution to the wind. And then there was this:

When I bought a bunch of raffle tickets, I assumed we wouldn't actually win anything (since I never do). So imagine my surprise when we wound up scoring the one item that most of the attendees really wanted: a jersey signed by local resident and A's star Stephen Piscotty.

After the crapstorm that was most of this week (and honestly, most of the previous few weeks, too), today felt like a fount of blessings. So for that, I am infinitely thankful.

April 27

This innocent-looking purple binder was the source of a whole lotta angst for me over the past few months.

It contains all of the stuff I'll need (though I use the term loosely) as PTA president next year. It was "missing" for a while so when it turned up today and I was finally able to take it home, it was something of a booyah moment for me.

It's a very small thing for sure, but it's been a tough week, and one problem solved at the close of a tough week feels like a big blessing.

April 26

Today was not my favorite. I was tired and stressed and made mistakes. I wish I could have a do-over. But of course, life doesn't work that way. But it did give me Nikki, who swooped in with gum and Starbucks and made everything seem better.

So on this messed up day, I'm especially thankful for her and for her exceptionally good heart and for her willingness to just listen to me talk about my bad day.

April 25

My friend Steph celebrated a big birthday today. (I won't tell you which one, but it was pretty nifty. Sorry Steph).

I first met her back when Isaac and her younger daughter were in a dance class together. (They were in preschool.) We didn't interact much then, but became friends when we realized that we had a lot of strange things in common: we're both originally from Maryland, we both have family in Nebraska, our kids go to the same elementary school and have been the in the same classes over and over again, we're both on the PTA board (though in fairness I'm only on the board partly because of her), and more.

I don't see her all that often these days --mostly because for the first time ever, her son and Isaac aren't on the same baseball team-- but I really enjoy our time when we do make the moments happen. She's fair-minded and incredibly easy to talk to, and I'm thankful for her friendship.

Happy birthday, Stephanie!

April 24

Abby has many talents. Really, sometimes I look at her and marvel over how many things she does well. But I didn't realize she could draw until this morning when she showed me this:

One of her friends is a big Anime fan, so she decided to draw said friend's favorite character. I was actually startled by how good the details are, especially the shading in and around the eyes. I have my talents, but drawing is definitely not one of them.

My girl may frustrate me to bits some days, but seeing her put her abilities out there on display makes the tougher days more palatable.

April 23

I took a walk by myself this evening. Usually I take my strolls during the day, but it was warmer than I preferred earlier --like mid-80s-- so I waited to head out until after Adam and the boys went upstairs for story time.

As I watched the sun sink into the horizon, I --for the upteenth time in my 40 years-- felt a sense of thankfulness that every new day is a new chance to do something amazing.

So what will you do with tomorrow?

April 22

Today was Little League at the A's Day, so as we often do, we took the kiddos to the game. We took part in the pre-game parade, saw the A's win over the BoSox (which made my little Oriole-loyalist heart so happy), and then ran the bases before heading home.

While I recovered from the heat at home a little later on --because dude, the sun was brutal and we were definitely not in the shade-- I reflected on how much baseball has enriched my life. When I was a kid, I watched and listened to games and kept score. (And very occasionally went to one in person.) When I was a young adult, Adam and I went to A's games and when we didn't, we religiously watched them on TV and tracked the team's progress. Now, I'm a baseball mom and in addition to getting to watch my boys play, I've made some pretty amazing friends over the years who truly make my life better. (And who, barring some sort of additional divine intervention, I would never have met without the shared experience of being a baseball mom.)

So for all of that, I'm thankful.

April 21

These girls are cousins, and --at least for now-- bookends. Oldest and youngest.

When Melody was born about two months ago, Abby was, let's say, apprehensive about having a female cousin on Adam's side of the family. After all, she'd been the only granddaughter for more than 13 years and wasn't particularly eager to share the title with someone else. She shared that she felt like she'd become less-than with a cute new baby around, and though I insisted that wouldn't be the case at all, the thought persisted.

But today was different. Today, after Melody and her brothers and her mom came to watch Isaac's game and then joined us for lunch, Abby decided she wanted to hold her. So while others ate, she walked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, cradling her little cousin. I watched with a mixture of nostalgia for when she was that little baby back in 2004 and sadness that she isn't that baby anymore and pride that she looked so amazingly confident holding such a tiny human in her arms.

Time really does pass ridiculously quickly and I wish sometimes that I could slow it down (or back it up). But as I've said probably a thousand times before, it's a tremendous blessing to be able to watch my kiddos grow and change and gain confidence and surprise me in the best ways possible.

April 20

It's late and I have an early morning ahead thanks to baseball, but I just wanted to take a minute to say how thankful I am for these ladies.

Our kids either went to or still attend the same elementary school, and that's how I met almost all of them. (Well, one I originally met at dance, and another at preschool. Just in the interest of full disclosure.) Tonight we got together to celebrate the three April birthday girls, and had a lovely time munching on tapas and chatting.

I don't see some of them very often at all, but it always does my heart good when we can reconnect.

April 19

Way back when, Abby was a big-time daddy's girl. As time has passed, she and I have gotten closer, but the two of them are still --in many ways-- two peas in a pod: they have very similar senses of humor (and love to tease me about the same things), they're both sci-fi nerds, and they're both quite introverted.

This evening Adam decided to grab her and recollect some of their good times together, which naturally prompted her to resist in a mostly playful way. (And of course, the whole thing made me laugh aloud.)

It's a blessing to watch them interact, even under the most ordinary of circumstances.

April 18

Yup, I'm writing about baseball yet again. 'Tis the season!

Anyhow, tonight Isaac's team accomplished three feats in one fell swoop: one, they finally won a weekday game; two, they won by mercy ruling the other team 12-2; and three, they won their second game in a row. (Get all that?) Isaac was the lead-off batter and wound up walking all four times he came to the plate (but trust me: he wanted to swing. The pitches just weren't all that close). He also caught a pop-up (which doesn't always happen in AA-ball so it's a notable event), so he had plenty to feel good about by evening's end. But this was probably my favorite moment of them all:

After the post-game team meeting, some of his teammates mobbed him while shouting "walk-off walk!" over and over again. (It sounds weird but it's what it was, kind of: he had the final at-bat of the game, which ended with a walk that gave them a 10-run lead, which in turn sealed the win.)

My heart literally fluttered at the sight of him grinning as they chased him around the outfield. The feeling of being loved and appreciated is so powerful and given how hard he can be on himself, it was such a gift to me to see him reveling in that appreciation.

April 17

Adam and I have an arrangement on Tuesday nights: I take Abby to her youth group meeting, and he picks her up. It's a simple arrangement, but it works for us. Tonight, however, I took both halves of the trip because he fell asleep on the couch just a few minutes after the boys went to bed.

I don't outwardly appreciate his efforts nearly as much as I should, but this man of mine is a really hard worker. He's always been a hard worker: he was our class Valedictorian in college, he does plenty of work around the house, and he does the job he's actually paid to do until he's finished, regardless of how long it takes.

He's a good man, and I'm blessed that we all --myself included-- have him as an example of steadfast perseverance.

April 16

The weather today was... weird. It was partly sunny and then it rained and then it hailed. And then the sun came out again. Mercifully, the skies were clear-ish as Brady and I went to pick up Isaac from school. As Brady skipped by the park, he gleefully remarked that he hoped there would be a big jumping puddle available.

In the end no such puddle existed, but I had to smile at his enthusiasm. I definitely don't get excited at the thought of a nice jumping puddle, but I remember when I did. And I'm thankful for that youthful exuberance and innocence, even if it is fairly short-lived, because when I see it in my kids, I'm reminded that the little things really do matter. And better yet, that we can find joy in many, many places if we're open to finding it.

April 15

Our long-time friend Kristine came over this evening for dinner and some chat time.

At one point, BearBear entered the room and Abby did her thang... and we all laughed so hard. Some of us laughed so much and so heartily that we almost cried. By the time she headed home, she had a new nickname ("Otherling" or "The Othering," depending on the circumstances) and we all had slightly lighter hearts.

So right now, I'm thankful for my daughter's razor-sharp wit (which she totally stole from me) and for lighthearted fun with friends.

April 14

A rain-free spring Saturday equals several hours spent at the Sports Park for our family. Fortunately, today also ended with a tally mark in the win column for Isaac's team. Here he is, just a few moments before he tripled to the outfield:

Isaac's team has struggled a bit, but I have to say that I'm really proud of how he's played. He's a better player in just about every sense this season and plays hard, but even better, he's patient and understanding and never casts blame on anyone for anything, no matter how egregious the error. At one point earlier in the season, one of his teammates made a significant base running error, and when I started to comment on it later, he stopped me and said 'but mom, he's never played before. He didn't know.' Talk about a humbling experience for me.

So yeah, today I'm thankful for the win, but I'm also thankful that playing baseball gives Isaac's character a chance to shine.

April 13

Amy, Valerie, Michelle, and I have made a point of having brunch together on special occasions (like the first day of school, because that's a very special occasion for moms) for several years now. So today we got together for Valerie's birthday.

Between us, we have three eighth graders, a sixth grader, a fourth grader, two third graders, a second grader, a first grader, and, of course, Logan. They all know each other, too, so we always have plenty of kid-related tales to share. (And I have to say, all of the crush-related drama in eighth grade is quite entertaining.) It's been a total kick --and a blessing-- to watch all of them --adults included-- change over the years.

Life is meant to be lived in community, and I'm thankful that these gals continue to be part of mine.

April 12

Sometimes I feel like I'm starting to forget the little bits and pieces that made Logan who he was during his time on this earth. I was there for his first and last breaths and all of the wonderful and terrible moments in between, and the idea of losing those snippets of his essence is terrifying. So I continue to be thankful for these guys:

I keep these mini Cars lined up on the coffee table, and roll them around --and create those parking lots Logan loved so much-- when I feel like the details are slipping away. It's not a perfect solution, of course, but it always triggers a memory or two. And it definitely makes me smile.

April 11

It took a really long time, but this morning I finally got together to chat with a woman named Lisa from our church.

We met at Starbucks (which is kind of ironic given that she owns the tea shop in town, hence the picture of a tea cup that was part of my Grandma D's collection) and had a lovely time learning about each other: she shared the amazing succession of things God has done in her life, and I shared about my beginnings and about Logan.

I'm a talker by nature, and I think sometimes people just let me go on and on (and are maybe even relieved by my chatterboxness since it means they don't have to say much), but it was a huge blessing to just sit and listen and be inspired.

April 10

After a rather brutal baseball game tonight, all I wanted were some chicken tenders from Chick fil A. But as often happens with fast food, we didn't get exactly what we ordered, and I wound up with nuggets instead.

I like Chick fil A, but I don't love the nuggets. In fact, I don't even like them, but I took them anyway, peeled open a container of Chick fil A sauce (because yum), and ate a few (before handing the rest over to Adam to finish).

Sometimes, we get nuggets instead of strips, and we can either find a way to eat them that makes them palatable, or choose to be hungry. Life is so much about attitude and how he choose to live it, so it's important to remember that we can always make lemonade out of lemons... if we decide to do so.

April 9

I love surprises. I looked for these Cadbury eggs after Easter --since I forgot to buy some before Easter-- but didn't find any until today, when I hit pay dirt at the drug store.

That first little egg was so, so yummy. (So of course I immediately ate several of his friends.) A very small thing, but as I've said before, small things can be pretty awesome.

April 8

I had a long chat with my mom tonight while everyone else watched High School Musical 3. (I didn't know they were watching it but it's just as well because I just couldn't do that to myself.) I came downstairs during the grand finale, and after it ended, we all somehow wound up dogpiling on the couch. (The white t-shirt is Adam, since he decided to lie across me after I sat on Abby. Yeah, not sure how it happened. Details, details.)

Anyway, there was a lot of laughing (from me and the boys) and a little moaning (from Abby, who only smiled because I told her we'd sit there all night if she didn't). And a nice helping of utterly silly togetherness. And that's always a good thing.

April 7

When I came downstairs early this evening, I found Abby working on cutting up potatoes for dinner.

She's 13 so she should be helping out with meal prep --I definitely did so when I was her age-- but it still amazes me to realize that she's going to be in high school in a little more than four months.

She's growing up, and though I sometimes miss the little girl she once was, I'm proud of the young woman she's becoming.

April 6

When I went out to get my coffee this morning (hey, my machine is broken. It was legit), I decided to stop at the grocery store for some donuts. (Mostly because I knew the kids would like them.)

After an amusing text exchange with Abby during which I teased the impending donut arrival, I went home, and they made their picks from the box. (Since I, you know, I bought a dozen. It was $5 Friday. Seemed reasonable.)

It's a blessing to be able to surprise them with little things now and then.

April 5

I do not love this picture but I do love the people in it, so I'm getting over myself and using it anyway.

As often happens during school breaks, I took the short people out to brunch at Black Bear Diner this morning. So that's where this picture was taken. Abby ordered way too much food, Isaac gobbled up his waffle in record time and then enjoyed some of my food and some of Brady's. And there were boxes a'plenty when we left. So all in all, it was a good experience for all of us.

But that's not all I want to say here. I like pictures and take them as often as I can. They're how I remember important and mundane events alike, and I really love those little windows into the past. I don't usually mind being in them, but when I looked at this one, I was dismayed by the very obvious lines around my eyes and wondered when I'd gotten so wrinkly. I almost deleted it, but didn't because I want to remember brunch. I want to remember as many of the seconds I'm gifted with Abby, Isaac, and Brady as possible, and I want to remember them --at least in part-- because I won't get to create new memories with Logan. And least not during this life. So though I don't love this picture and I don't love those laugh lines, I'm happy to have this visual reminder filed away because this day will never happen again. And I want to savor every last drop of its goodness.

April 4

While Abby had lunch with some friends, I ran the boys over to the Sports Park for a little baseball practice. As they soft-tossed the ball back and forth, I walked the perimeter of the field. I stopped when a strong gust of wind rustled the trees over the backstop and sent forth a shower of tiny white flowers.

A shower of blessings, I thought. And then when I considered the words, I realized how true they are: we're showered with blessings on a daily basis. Some are small like those little flower petals, some are mid-sized, and some are bigger than we might expect. But every single one makes this life better in one way or another, and for that, I'm thankful.

April 3

Simple one today. I got to have lunch with my friend Corie, who I don't see particularly often.

She's expecting her first baby in June, so it was a kick to see her little baby belly and a big blessing to my little social heart to spend some time catching up.

My friends are always, always worth my time.

April 2

I try not to make sweeping statements very often because they're usually gross overgeneralizations, but with 15-plus years of experience under my belt, I feel qualified to make this particular assertion: marriage is hard. It's basically the act of pouring two different vials filled with hopes and ambitions and attitudes and backgrounds into one receptacle and hoping they don't explode. Okay, so that's overly cynical. But you get what I mean: it's hard from the get-go, and once the unexpected complications of this life are added to the mix and the composition of the mixture changes, it becomes even more complex and potentially volatile.

We've certainly had our ups and downs (and ups and downs) over the years; we've bought homes together and had children together and said good-bye to Logan together and traveled together and made just about every important decision of our adult lives... together. And we're far from being the same type of person; he's introverted while I'm a shameless extrovert, he's neat and I'm not-so-much, he's introspective and I'm outwardly emotional. (And that's all really just the tip of the iceberg). But somehow, we've made it work. And that's not a blessing I take for granted, because I know how incredibly, painfully hard marriage can be.

So for it continuing to work in spite of ourselves and for lovely mornings like today's that afforded us the chance to hike the ridge and for a teenage daughter who baby-sits her brothers with little grumbling (so we can take said time to ourselves), I'm thankful. It may not be perfect, but that doesn't mean it isn't good.

April 1

Easter. There's the bunny, of course, and we certainly take part in those activities: the egg dyeing, the baskets, the hunts. They're all sweet traditions that hearken back to my childhood and they're all in good fun.

But it's so much more than that. It's so much more than that, in fact, that I'm having a really hard time writing anything coherent. How do you use base human words to explain what a supernatural, incomprehensible sacrifice means to you? I don't think I can do it justice. So I'll just say that I'm thankful beyond words that that kind of love exists, and that it means that this oft-difficult, challenge-laden life isn't all there is.

All because He. Is. RISEN.