June 19

I haven't done much crocheting of late; just haven't felt the desire.

But I did finish a lightweight light blue shawl last weekend and pinned it to my blocking boards, where it's currently enjoying a good stretch.

And a few days ago, I started this little pink blanket. I have no idea where it will go, but I felt compelled to make something for someone else... even if I don't yet know who that person will be.

So for the renewed desire to make a difference in a positive way, I am grateful, because it's a blessing to be a blessing.

June 18

And just like that, Brady has aged out of Babe Ruth baseball. He played in the final game of his 15U season this evening. 

He's had fun playing with and getting to know boys from other schools in the general area for the past three years. As a pretty serious introvert, he hasn't established "let's swap numbers and keep in touch" connections, but I know he enjoys their interactions and will appreciate seeing them during the next three high school baseball seasons.

Although Isaac's freshman season was disappointing at best, it was through that team that we were introduced to Babe Ruth. And Isaac's involvement with the Royals opened the door for Brady to play as well. It's a good reminder that good things can --and do-- arise from bad circumstances. So for that truth --for the truth that God makes lemonade from the sourest of lemons-- I am thankful.

June 17

It's normal for the bros to grab their baseball gloves and play catch in the backyard.

It's unusual for them to stand in the pool while they play catch. But when I glanced outside this afternoon, that's exactly what I spied them doing: Brady was knee-deep in the hot tub, while Isaac was on the steps in the shallow end.

I'm not sure what prompted the game of water catch, but it was a blessing to see them enjoying some time together in the sunshine. Isaac will be off to college before I know it, so I'm filing away these sweet brotherly moments to look back on while I still can.

June 16

I've always been a photo person. When Abby and Logan (in particular) were young, I was the mom who lugged her bulky Canon Rebel to every single play date, family outing, and birthday party. I snapped pictures like someone was paying me to do it. And if I had to guess, I'd surmise that some people found it --and me-- annoying. But that's okay, because all these years later, I have images of Abby and Isaac and Brady at every age and in just about every imaginable scenario. And of course, I have photos of our five and a half years with Logan to help keep his memory alive in my heart and mind, too.

The Rebel is no longer my trusty companion and I don't take nearly as many "nice" pictures as I once did, but I still love capturing big moments. So I reached out to the amazing Racelle Campanelli to take some graduation-slash-turning 18 photos of Isaac. We met up at the Alviso Adobe park on the other side and town last Wednesday and enjoyed a very chill session. She sent me the gallery link this morning, and I had a hard time picking my favorites, so I'm posting just two of them for the purposes of this entry.

They're all beautiful images, and best of all, I feel like they capture "Isaac" in all of his cool, calm, easygoing Isaac-ness. And I know that when I scroll through them years from now, I'll look into his eyes and remember how I jumped around like an organ grinder's monkey trying to make him laugh because his REAL smile is so much better than a fake one. (And I succeeded!)

So for a fun and easy process and lovely results, I am thankful.

June 15

Today is Isaac's 18th birthday. My third child has officially entered adulthood and my primary reaction is "wait, what?" Kidding. Mostly.

Our freshly minted adult --who was truly already an adult when he arose this morning, since he made his grand entrance at 1:46 AM all those years ago-- had a good day. His expressed desire from the get-go was to spend as much time with his family as he could, so he told Abby and Brady that the four of us (since Adam was working and unavailable) would go to Starbucks to start the festivities first thing. He appeased Abby by wearing the "Happy Birthday" headband she had stashed in her stuff, so Karen the barista gifted him a birthday cake pop (in addition to the rainbow unicorn cake pop, sausage sandwich, and strawberry lemonade he already had). The three of them engaged in their usual sibling chicanery as we sat with Terry at the high top table near the bar, and I'm pretty sure all had a good time. 

Then we headed over to the Dairy, where Isaac asked Abby and Brady what they wanted, and then scurried inside to make their pineapple and vanilla cone (Abby) and chocolate milkshake (Brady), and then asked me if he could swipe my card to pay for the second item. (He gets free ice cream when he stops in, but it's only supposed to be ONE freebie. I'm grateful for his honesty and his desire to do the right thing when it would be easy to cheat the system.)

We returned to the house and Abby had class, so she left and the brositos and I took the opportunity to rest. Isaac fed his spirit by reading from the book of Isaiah, and then announced that he wanted to go bowling. We arrived at Granada Bowl a few minutes after it opened, and although their 'free bowling for kids' promotion meant there were plenty of folks there, we were able to score a lane and those fine, fine rental shoes. Our hour of gameplay saw me set a gutter ball record while the boys played reasonably well. Although I think Brady was the eventual overall victor, their scores were very close. (Mine was not. And I have no shame over the terribleness of my bowling game. I have no game.)

As we left, I asked about lunch, and after mulling the nearby options for a few seconds, Isaac chose Popeyes. We secured said chicken and went home, where the boys were dismayed to realize that they hadn't ordered tenders but bone-in chicken. Oops. But they rose to the occasion and powered through their unexpected finger lickin' experience.

Brady had a game this evening that he offered to skip, but Isaac wanted to see him play, so we left for that at 4. Isaac and I took a loop around the park during warmups, and then settled in for the match-up. (Adam and Abby joined us a few innings into the game. Aside: Brady went 1 for 3 with a double, and threw 27 pitches over three innings in relief, giving up no runs. It was a good game for him, although the defense was very messy and they lost.)

When the game ended, we headed to CPK for dinner, and then came home for presents and spice cake with cream cheese frosting. And now, with almost everyone else in bed or tucked away in their respective rooms, I have a few moments to reflect on the past 18-plus years of Isaac.

The short version is that he is and always has been a blessing. Before he could speak, his eyes communicated volumes, and I always knew that he was thinking, opining, evaluating, wondering, absorbing. He's always been his little brother's protector --way back to the early days when baby Brady would lose his pacifier, he would exclaim "Bah-e-man nee pa-e-chowa!"-- and his friends' pal and confidante and the first person to volunteer to help with just about anything. And he's always been a kid who will --with zero solicitation-- hug me and say I love you and thank me for being his mama. Just because.

And beyond the earthly considerations, I am grateful that he continued pressing into Jesus and reading his Bible and seeking God when life felt hard and he felt unworthy of love. And I am doubly grateful to God for being faithful to His promise that when we seek Him, we will find Him, and He will change us. I've seen those changes in Isaac firsthand: I've seen him become more patient. I've seen him hold his tongue when his younger self would've lost his temper. I've seen him choose love over disdain. I've seen him hold himself accountable by apologizing for his mistakes. And I've seen him make a legitimate difference in multiple people's lives, including my own.

So yes, I am grateful for the first 18 years of Isaac and for all of the many ways he has made and continues to make my life richer and more rewarding. He's a special person, and I am immeasurably blessed that I get to call him my son. Happy birthday, Isaac! I love you.

June 14

Exactly 18 years ago tonight, Adam and I got home from dinner at Stacy's Cafe downtown. I told the baby-sitter who'd spent the evening with Abby and Logan that I didn't think we'd be at church the next morning because I was in labor.

I laid on the couch as the contractions came and went and increased in intensity. Adam turned on one of the "Rocky" movies because he was amused by the thought of me laboring as Sylvester Stallone ran up the front steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. His parents made the fastest drive on record from Lafayette to Pleasanton, and then off to the hospital we went to meet our third surprise baby.

Isaac arrived about an hour and 45 minutes after the clock struck midnight so today is really just his birthday eve, but the memories have always been so clear in my mind that I figured I might as well rehash them once again.

Today was, I think, a good birthday eve for our latest almost-adult. We went to church in the morning, and he played video games with Brady and a round of a computer game with Adam this afternoon. And then this evening, we all played cards after dinner and then gathered around the TV to watch the latest Pixar film, "Hoppers." And right now, I can hear him upstairs talking and laughing with Brady. It's a good sound. A content sound that instills a sense of wellness in my soul.

So on this birthday eve of my sweet Isaac, I'm just grateful: grateful for the road we've traveled together thus far --including the potholes, because character and faith are built amid struggles-- and grateful for the remarkable young man he is. And grateful that God gifted Adam and me with the privilege of shepherding him along his way.

June 13

Isaac was working at the Dairy this evening, so Adam, Brady, and I drove over for some ice cream after dinner.

I'd been looking forward to trying the limited cinnamon roll flavor ever since Isaac mentioned it last night, and was disappointed when the gal that took our order said they'd just run out. But she quickly followed that up by saying they had Oreo, so I settled for that instead. I had spotted Isaac holding a tablet taking walk-up orders so I didn't even request that he bring out our cones, so the whole outing felt like something of a downer. 

But I was pleasantly surprised when, a few minutes later, Isaac emerged from the building holding our order. It turns out that he switched roles as we were coming through and just happened to fill our order without knowing it was us.

It was an unexpected blessing to see his face up close in that moment. 

And knowing that he made that cone made it taste even better, even if it wasn't cinnamon roll ice cream.