March 1

How are we already to March? If I were still a writer of checks, I'm sure I'd still using the wrong year. Ha!

Anyway, today was a quiet one. We went to church and came home this morning, and then I took a nap, worked on a project, and went on a short post-dinner walk with Adam.

Although I'd prefer it if my mind were a little calmer, days of rest are a blessing, so I'm grateful for this one and for all of the quiet moments sprinkled throughout its hours.

February 28

Today, Brady and the Freshman Dons played their first official high school games in the form of a doubleheader against Castro Valley.

It was a warm, sunny day that gave me my first winter sunburn in years, but by the time the post-game field maintenance was completed, the Dons had notched their first two wins; the first by a final score of 16-4, and the second, by a much less comfortable 5-4.

Brady definitely made contributions. As the DH in game one, he went 2 for 3 with a walk. (One of his hits was a bomb that rolled to the fence in left center, and the walk came on the 10th pitch of his first at-bat, so he made good use of his opportunities.) He also drove in two runs and scored twice. In game two, he spent a few innings in right field and then threw two scoreless innings, issuing one walk and no hits on 30 pitches. He also struck out two. It still seems like his velocity is down, but he was crafty enough with his pitch selection to make it work.

It was fun to be out there again watching one of my boys play ball. And it's an extra special blessing because this particular team has a really good feel to it: as Isaac noted, the boys all seem to get along well and there's no overt negativity gumming up the works. They all cheer for each other and there are congratulatory fist-bumps all around. My hope and prayer is that all of the positivity will continue, and that this fresh new season will be a great experience for these boys and families.

February 27

Nikki and I took our customary stroll around the mall this morning.

As we passed by the Easter Bunny set up in the center court, she joked that we needed to take our Spring portrait. So voila, we did just that. She's supposed to edit it to add a bunny but hasn't gotten around to it yet so here's the original, unaltered version.

I continue to be grateful for her and for our friendship. I love how we can make each other laugh one moment and be serious and supportive the next. 

She is a blessing.

February 26

Every now and then, I wake up in the morning, think of Logan, and my heart aches. And it's not a fleeting pain; it's an intense, full-bodied sensation that feels like it might break me in two. Long story  shorter, I had one of those experiences today.

As I laid there with my face scrunched up and pressed against the pillow --trying to harden myself against the onslaught of emotion that prior experience has taught me was on its way-- I silently prayed "Holy Spirit, come and fill the broken places with Your presence."

And then slowly, gradually, the hurt subsided. And then I had a memory followed by a distinct vision. The memory was a bit of scripture from the book of John, which I'm currently reading, in which John the Baptist says that in order for Jesus to become more, he (John) must become less. I know that in context, John was talking about the vital importance of Jesus' ministry continuing to grow, but the vision that I had made me look at his words a little differently.

See, in that moment as I felt the Holy Spirit come and relieve my pain, I also saw it pour into my heart. It filled in the cracks and crevices that would otherwise cause me immeasurable discomfort with peace beyond explanation. In essence, it brought supernatural healing to my human suffering as it renewed the injured areas of my heart. It made --and makes-- me less like broken, injured, fully human me, and more like Jesus. To borrow John's words, as the pain faded, I was becoming less while He was becoming more.

I know I could never do enough work on myself to heal the hurts I've suffered in this lifetime. I don't have that kind of power. So I'm grateful to have a Savior who does have that kind of power, and I'm grateful for the gift of being able to call on His name.

February 25

Adam is in Costa Rica this week, Isaac didn't have work, and Brady's practice got out quite late this evening, so rather than raiding the pantry or the freezer, I opted to take the boys to Black Bear for dinner.

I'm not entirely sure what inspired the barrage of quick witticisms that both of them dreamed up, but they had me walking the line between just smiling and laughing aloud from the time we left the house until we returned.

There were Brady's animated reactions to eating the butter patties that came with Isaac's pancakes and Isaac's humorous attempts at finishing the day's Connections puzzle. And then Isaac shared his plan to marry a woman with the last name Black so he could name his children after colors. (He was particularly fond of the name Grey Black-Wight.)

I guess I'd say they were in rare form. And I'm so glad that they were, because those moments are some of the best parts of being a parent. So for an unexpectedly fun and entertaining evening with my two favorite high schoolers, I am grateful.

February 24

There was a high school baseball fundraiser at a local eatery this evening. I wasn't initially thrilled about going (mostly because I was wide awake at 4:30 this morning and spent much of the afternoon alternating between tired and dozing off). But I'm glad that I did.

(I didn't think to take a photo while I was there so here's one I took of Brady and Jackson at school pick-up. I figure it works because they both play baseball.)

Anyway, I'm glad that I went because it gave me the opportunity to connect with folks that I've known for a while now and like. Better still, I realized --as I was sitting there sipping the half-glass of wine that Shannon graciously shared and listening to the buzz of conversation all around-- that I felt very comfortable. I felt like I belonged right where I was. And given how that feeling has been either absent or fleeting for me throughout much of my lifetime, it was a blessing to feel that sense of community.

February 23

It was my turn to lead Bible study this morning. I think I did a serviceable job (and the ladies in the group were more than gracious in response to my effort), but what was most notable to me from the experience was the closing prayer.

Rather than having just one person take care of it as is our usual custom, we went around the circle and took turns praying for one another's expressed needs.

And I thought it was beautiful. In fact, I could actually feel the Holy Spirit bubbling up in my chest, which isn't exactly a routine experience for me. I almost asked if anyone else could feel it when we were leaving, but opted to keep it to myself.

So for those gifts --of being able to lift one another up and of feeling connected to God in such a tangible way-- I am thankful.