March 3

 I love bright, bold color; the kind that's so saturated that it makes my eyes go boing! Know what I mean?

I hoped for some of that super intense color from the Dianthus seedling I added to my hydroponic garden. Well, it bloomed yesterday, and I wasn't disappointed, because the petals are currently a gorgeous, vibrant shade of red. 

Life can so often feel gray and drab --especially of late-- so it's a blessing to me to be able to look across the family room and see such a lovely bit of God's creation flourishing in its space.

March 2

I very much appreciate the man Isaac is becoming. (And I really do mean "man", because he'll be 18 in just three and a half months.)

His phone spontaneously stopped working yesterday morning. Adam ordered him a replacement but it won't be here until later this week, so he's without one for a few days.

He's generally fine with that reality, but when he got home this afternoon, I'd already left for Brady's game and he realized that he had no way to get inside the house (since his entry is tied to an app). Which meant that he had no way to get to the food in the house, which he wanted to eat. And he also couldn't go to the gym since his QR code is stored in his phone. 

I felt badly for not remembering to give him a key, but he was very forgiving about the whole thing: instead of getting mad, he swung by McDonalds and then headed over to the school to join us in the stands. 

I'm thankful that he's continuing to grow into an adult who's capable of pivoting when situations change, or when things don't go as planned. Writing as someone who's never been particularly good at the art of the pivot, I'm grateful for the blessing that is Isaac's easygoing nature.

March 1

How are we already to March? If I were still a writer of checks, I'm sure I'd still using the wrong year. Ha!

Anyway, today was a quiet one. We went to church and came home this morning, and then I took a nap, worked on a project, and went on a short post-dinner walk with Adam.

Although I'd prefer it if my mind were a little calmer, days of rest are a blessing, so I'm grateful for this one and for all of the quiet moments sprinkled throughout its hours.

February 28

Today, Brady and the Freshman Dons played their first official high school games in the form of a doubleheader against Castro Valley.

It was a warm, sunny day that gave me my first winter sunburn in years, but by the time the post-game field maintenance was completed, the Dons had notched their first two wins; the first by a final score of 16-4, and the second, by a much less comfortable 5-4.

Brady definitely made contributions. As the DH in game one, he went 2 for 3 with a walk. (One of his hits was a bomb that rolled to the fence in left center, and the walk came on the 10th pitch of his first at-bat, so he made good use of his opportunities.) He also drove in two runs and scored twice. In game two, he spent a few innings in right field and then threw two scoreless innings, issuing one walk and no hits on 30 pitches. He also struck out two. It still seems like his velocity is down, but he was crafty enough with his pitch selection to make it work.

It was fun to be out there again watching one of my boys play ball. And it's an extra special blessing because this particular team has a really good feel to it: as Isaac noted, the boys all seem to get along well and there's no overt negativity gumming up the works. They all cheer for each other and there are congratulatory fist-bumps all around. My hope and prayer is that all of the positivity will continue, and that this fresh new season will be a great experience for these boys and families.

February 27

Nikki and I took our customary stroll around the mall this morning.

As we passed by the Easter Bunny set up in the center court, she joked that we needed to take our Spring portrait. So voila, we did just that. She's supposed to edit it to add a bunny but hasn't gotten around to it yet so here's the original, unaltered version.

I continue to be grateful for her and for our friendship. I love how we can make each other laugh one moment and be serious and supportive the next. 

She is a blessing.

February 26

Every now and then, I wake up in the morning, think of Logan, and my heart aches. And it's not a fleeting pain; it's an intense, full-bodied sensation that feels like it might break me in two. Long story  shorter, I had one of those experiences today.

As I laid there with my face scrunched up and pressed against the pillow --trying to harden myself against the onslaught of emotion that prior experience has taught me was on its way-- I silently prayed "Holy Spirit, come and fill the broken places with Your presence."

And then slowly, gradually, the hurt subsided. And then I had a memory followed by a distinct vision. The memory was a bit of scripture from the book of John, which I'm currently reading, in which John the Baptist says that in order for Jesus to become more, he (John) must become less. I know that in context, John was talking about the vital importance of Jesus' ministry continuing to grow, but the vision that I had made me look at his words a little differently.

See, in that moment as I felt the Holy Spirit come and relieve my pain, I also saw it pour into my heart. It filled in the cracks and crevices that would otherwise cause me immeasurable discomfort with peace beyond explanation. In essence, it brought supernatural healing to my human suffering as it renewed the injured areas of my heart. It made --and makes-- me less like broken, injured, fully human me, and more like Jesus. To borrow John's words, as the pain faded, I was becoming less while He was becoming more.

I know I could never do enough work on myself to heal the hurts I've suffered in this lifetime. I don't have that kind of power. So I'm grateful to have a Savior who does have that kind of power, and I'm grateful for the gift of being able to call on His name.

February 25

Adam is in Costa Rica this week, Isaac didn't have work, and Brady's practice got out quite late this evening, so rather than raiding the pantry or the freezer, I opted to take the boys to Black Bear for dinner.

I'm not entirely sure what inspired the barrage of quick witticisms that both of them dreamed up, but they had me walking the line between just smiling and laughing aloud from the time we left the house until we returned.

There were Brady's animated reactions to eating the butter patties that came with Isaac's pancakes and Isaac's humorous attempts at finishing the day's Connections puzzle. And then Isaac shared his plan to marry a woman with the last name Black so he could name his children after colors. (He was particularly fond of the name Grey Black-Wight.)

I guess I'd say they were in rare form. And I'm so glad that they were, because those moments are some of the best parts of being a parent. So for an unexpectedly fun and entertaining evening with my two favorite high schoolers, I am grateful.