August 2

After church this morning, Adam, Isaac, Brady and I loaded into the Explorer and set off for the cabin. (Abby has school so she had to stay home this go-round.)

It was an uneventful trip, with a stop at Sonic in Tracy for lunch and giant beverages (ahh, the sweet, sweet Route44 is a road trip must-have). Brady was in charge of the playlist, so there was much Morgan Wallen and Jordan Davis heard and a running joke about the reality that we were traveling behind Doc Hudson along one of the windy central valley roads. (Really. There were three old cars --the Doc Hudson double, a '32 Ford Adam dubbed The Tricycle, and a Barracuda-- that drove along right at the speed limit, infuriating drivers for miles on end.) At Adam's mom's suggestion, we stopped at the Red Apple to pick up an apple pie (and some apple cider and dried apricots).

Once we arrived, the boys braved the 90-degree heat and went outside to throw the frisbee while I crocheted and Adam took a cat nap. A little later, once Adam and Isaac wrapped up a board game, we went down to the Snowshoe Brewery for dinner. As usual, we enjoyed our entrees as well as the soft pretzels with beer cheese.

Back at the cabin, the male folk worked on trying to solve a collection of metal puzzles Adam pulled out of the game closet while I continued crocheting. They closed out the day with another strategy game and apple pie.

It was, all in all, a good day. I wish Abby could've made the trip with us, but I'm proud of her for all of the work she's done toward earning her credential this summer. So for a safe journey and new memories (and for Abby watering my tomato plants for me since I forgot!), I am thankful.

August 1

I welcomed August by enjoying tea downtown with Nikki and her mom.

Although it was a bit of a scorcher outside and the tea definitely warmed me up from the inside out (as it always does), it was pleasant inside the RoyalTea shop. Nikki, Pam, and I enjoyed the usual assortment of savory and sweet treats along with a quartet of teas served up in whimsical pots. (I still think the strawberry pot should've been topped with the strawberry lid.)

It was a blessing to be able to sit with them and just chat about the summer's happenings and the coming soons.

So for the blessing of friendship --and especially longer-term ones!-- I am very thankful.

July 31

Today is Logan's 20th birthday. How we went from age 5 to age 20 so quickly is utterly baffling, but here we are.

Adam took the day off, and we went to Outback for lunch (since Logan loved that brown bread; and in fact, we wound up with three little loaves this time around, because the first one took quite a while to emerge from the kitchen and our server felt badly about it). 

We mostly did our own things this afternoon, with Brady going to a hitting lesson, Adam and Isaac playing a video game together, Abby working on a school project, and me crocheting. And then this evening, we convened for our customary Logan's birthday dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, followed by a viewing of "Cars" and chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

It was a good day, filled with familiar things that remind us of Logan and who he was while he was here. And I am grateful to God for the time spent with my favorite people celebrating the one who can't be with us right now.

But it's also morphed into a bittersweet day, because with each passing year, I feel more and more like I'm missing out on really knowing my oldest son. He loved "Cars" and chocolate cake and spaghetti and meatballs and Outback's brown bread when he was here with us. When he was five years old. But I don't get to know what he would like as a 20-year old young man. Would he prefer vanilla now? Would he still have a taste for luxury brands like Lexus and BMW? Would that big smile of his still come easily? I don't get to know. And sometimes, the not knowing is hard on me. I've had the gift of watching Abby and Isaac and Brady grow up and mature and change over time, and although change is never an easy thing, watching them make decisions and become more independent is a gift because it's part of the design of this human life. And it makes me sad that I don't get to watch Logan make choices and learn and grow. It will never make sense, at least not on this side of Heaven.

But I know that despite my feelings, God has a plan and His plan is good. So for that knowledge and for time with family and for the chance to celebrate our sweet Logan once again, I am thankful. Happy 20th birthday, my sweet Sunshine. I love you.

July 30

Abby reminded me this morning that today was Miracle Treat Day at DQ, and since tomorrow is Logan's 20th birthday and he spent a lot of time at Children's Hospital Oakland (which is called something else these days but... oh well. It's forever CHO to us), I took her and the Brositos to get Blizzards to support the cause in his name.

We all had Blizzards, but our orders were as different as we are: Isaac went with a mint concoction, while Abby enjoyed strawberry and angel food cake, Brady picked cookie dough, and I loaded up on different forms (cream, syrup, and chip) of chocolate.

When I'd finished mine, I went back inside to donate a dollar so I could write Logan's name on one of the little paper hot air balloons that line the walls during CMN events. Even though it breaks my heart a little to write "in memory of..." I still feel blessed by the care he received while he was a patient, and I'm grateful to God for the work they continue to do to benefit children. And I'm thankful to have the resources to help support such a vital mission on earth.

July 29

I think it's safe to say that Isaac and Brady are getting in lots of quality bro time of late.

And by "quality bro time" I mean "wrestling, grabbing, lifting, carrying, and otherwise engaging in physical combat and or activity." They engage in such-behavior from morning til bedtime, so it goes on all day long (with breaks, of course. They're not machines). Every day.

And although the good-natured roughhousing can be a lot (and I mean A LOT) sometimes, I'm letting it go because I figure they need the time to connect and bond before Isaac heads off to Wheaton.

They've always had a solid brotherly connection. Way back when, Brady said he planned to work as a miner so he could fund Isaac's baseball career with all of the gold he dug up. And he meant it. And Isaac has always felt extraordinarily protective of Brady. And that's always shown.

I think it's going to be a big adjustment for both of them to be a few thousand miles apart, but I'm praying that the time they spend together now --and have had together in the past-- will serve as a good foundation that will keep them bonded for the long haul. Because as someone who doesn't have a sister and can't relate to their connection, I've always believed that brotherhood is a special gift from God.

July 28

I didn't take many photos today, and the ones that I did take are of me trying to figure out if my hair is really as dark as it seems. Kind of silly, I guess, but for the moment, the answer is yes. It is dark.

And it's dark because I got my hair done this morning. Lately, that process involves a toner mixture to blend out some of the ever-increasing grey population. It'll wash out gradually but for now, it works. And I don't feel quite as dowdy as I did before.

It's not about vanity, really; it's more about feeling neat. So for the blessing of small things that make me feel a little more put together, I am grateful. 

July 27

Isaac left for an overnight trip to Napa with his pals this morning so it was just me, Abby, and Brady today.

Brady returned to his recent kitchen-related hobby by air frying another potato dish. (He followed the same basic recipe as one of last week's experiments and changed up the seasoning a little. He said he definitely preferred them with panko.)

Abby, meanwhile, went for her run, then showered and emerged wearing her giant pink fuzzy thing. As she was putting taquitos in the oven, she crab-skittered across the kitchen floor with oven mitts on her hands. I asked her to do it again; she refused, but she posed in crab-position.

She will probably dislike this image, but it made me laugh so I kept it. I love her silly side. She hides it much of the time, but it's pretty funny when she lets it go. So for the blessing of lighthearted moments, I am thankful.