August 12

Brady's sophomore year of high school starts tomorrow, so he and I flew back to the Bay today. Abby stayed behind for a few more days to hang out with her friend Kam, and Adam stayed to help Isaac with move-in day, which is also tomorrow. It's a little bit of a forehead-slapper that the same thing happened four years ago --Abby moved into Wheaton on the boys' first day of school-- but it is what it is! I'm thankful that Adam could stay and be with Isaac as he begins dorm life and I'm looking forward to hearing both of their perspectives on the experience.

Anyway, we all got up very early and piled into the rental car for the drive to Midway. I thought it was sweet that Abby and Isaac came along, given that we were up pretty late last night thanks to the White Sox game. (And given that Isaac was apparently up very, very late writing notes to Brady and me. I read mine on the plane. It was wonderful and perfect and it brought tears to my eyes. He may not always enjoy writing, but he does it well when he wants to do it well. But I am, as I so often do, going off on a tangent.)

I sat mostly quietly and listened to what transpired in the backseat. I listened as the typically bravado-driven BearBear escaped from Brady's bag and asked Isaac for a hug. I listened as they laughed together and carried on their usual brand of crazy conversation that, as a Gen Xer, I only kinda-sorta understood. But confusion aside, I am grateful that I was able to bear witness to those precious interactions.

When we got to the terminal and pulled into the departures area, everyone got out of the car to hug us "see ya later." I was particularly touched when Abby, who seemed to be fighting back emotion, asked for a quick group hug. So we all came together, embraced for a few moments, and said our I love yous. And then Brady and I were off. It was the perfect way to part ways and I'm glad my girl felt compelled to ask for it.

And now, well, now I'm just plain tired. It's that combo platter of getting up early and travel and emotion that makes it unusually difficult to be eloquent. But I'm home, and I'm deeply grateful to God for the time I had with my guys on the train trip and then with all of us in Illinois. I already miss Isaac, but I know that he's walking with the Lord and I know that He will direct my sweet guy's steps. And for those truths, I am eternally thankful.

August 11

Brady and I fly back to California tomorrow, so today was our sole full day here in Illinois. And it was indeed quite full.

It began brighter and earlier than intended when the hotel fire alarm began blaring at 7 AM. Just as we were heading out the door, it went silent. So I went back to sleep, and awoke again at a little before 10. Brady asked if I would go down to the pool with him so I did, and I watched him for a few minutes until an unfamiliar alarm on my phone went off: a severe storm warning. And then a little later, another alarm announced a tornado warning and instructions to take cover. I told Brady that he needed to get out of the pool (since it's basically surrounded on all sides by big glass windows) and snagged Abby from the fitness center next door where she was jogging on a treadmill. Long story shorter, we wound up sitting in the basement ballroom of the hotel while the storm (apparently; although I saw some lightning and definitely heard thunder, I didn't see the telltale green sky nor the torrential rain and tree-bending gusts of wind that followed) raged outside. 

Once the danger passed, we went to Giordano's for lunch, and then on to Costco (which happened to be just across the street) for some necessities to get Isaac started. Then we swung by Wheaton so Isaac could pick up his books from the bookstore and Abby could retrieve her sweatshirt, which she left at Ashley's apartment last night. After a Sonic drink run, we enjoyed a short hour of downtime before heading off to the White Sox / Reds game at Rate Field. Although the Sox lost in extras after holding a lead for much of the game, it was still a fun experience. There were plenty of passionate fans in attendance and we sat in the nosebleeds where the beer flowed like water, but it was fun to be in a new-to-us stadium, just a few sections away from the bare-chested, t-shirt waving throng of men that regularly encouraged new participants to join them, disparaged Green Bay, and booed the many failed attempts at the upper deck wave. (They've been a Thing at MLB stadiums all season. I have no idea why.) It was also Pope Hat Night, so we each walked away with a Pope-style hat in honor of Chicago's own Pope Leo. (Seriously.)

Since it went into extras, the game went a little later than we'd anticipated, and the traffic getting out of the lot was pretty terrible. But on the plus side, as we wound our way down to ground level from the upper deck, we got a pretty spectacular view of the illuminated Chicago skyline. 

The food lines at the game were insanely long and all we managed to snag were some nachos, so on the way back to the hotel, we stopped at Cane's for chicken. And now, well, now I should be trying to sleep because Brady and I have an early flight, but I wanted to try to jot down some thoughts first. It's hard to believe that we're here; that tomorrow I'll be leaving my sweet Isaac for his first semester of college. I did finally give him the prayer shawl and he gave me a big hug. I'll miss him. But I know he'll do well. And I know that God will continue to direct his path. So for all of that, I am endlessly thankful.

August 10

We made it to Chicago! But I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

Our conscious day began as the train rolled into Omaha, Nebraska. It was something of a surprise to Adam and me, as we were theoretically supposed to cover the entirety of Nebraska overnight, but since we were running a few hours behind schedule, we got to touch pavement in the Cornhusker state (for about 30 seconds) during a mega-quick fresh air break after all.

After breakfast (which was a very filling quesadilla for me), we went to the Observation car, where the guys tried to teach me the new card game Isaac found yesterday via an AI search. My muddled morning brain couldn't wrap itself around the concept, but hey, at least I tried, right?

We crossed into Iowa and spent much of the day looking out at near-endless acres of corn growing on gently rolling hills. Honestly, I hadn't previously realized that Iowa was anything but flat, so it was a pleasant surprise to see all of that lush greenery rippling along the surface of the land. We had the chance to touch the ground during a brief stop in Ottumwa, where I noticed that an Amish family we'd been riding with disembarked. (Which prompted me to Google "Amish settlements in Iowa". I learned that yes, there are several. I had no idea.)

After lunch --our last meal on the Zephyr-- the four of us mostly settled into our room for the duration of the ride. Our last fresh air break was in Galesburg, Illinois, which we quickly discovered is way out there in the middle of nowhere. (So it's a good thing I noticed that our original reservation had mistakenly sent us there instead of on to Chicago and we were able to correct the goof. Finding a rental car in Galesburg would've been... challenging.)

Anyway, after we arrived and disembarked at Chicago's Union Station, we went inside. While Adam went to get the rental car from Hertz a few blocks away, Isaac, Brady, and I retrieved our checked bags and made our way to the heart of the building. And I was stunned by its beauty. Seriously, with its high ceilings, plentiful natural light, and intricate architectural details, I could've sat there and admired it for hours. (And I totally agreed with Isaac when he said it reminded him of the buildings in DC.)

And then it was on to Wheaton, where Abby was waiting for us in our hotel lobby. Isaac selected Culver's for dinner, and I ate too many cheese curds and other Culver-y yummies. And now we're back in our hotel rooms. Adam is sleeping, Isaac is next door watching something on his phone, and Abby and Brady are down in the fitness room-slash-pool. 

And me? I'm writing and reflecting. School starts Thursday for Brady, so he and I will fly back home in about 36 hours. Although it was a three-day train ride, it feels like it was a whirlwind experience. And I know that the next day will fly by at warp speed. But I'm thankful for the time with my guys and for the new memories we've made. And I'm thankful for tomorrow, too, even before it begins, because each day is a blessing from God.

August 9

I've learned a few things over the past few days. One, it's utterly exhausting to ride a train cross-country. I'm accustomed to getting my steps in each day so the limited opportunities to move around are a challenge. But two, it's really fun to ride a train cross-country. So the second thought is the one I'll carry forward.

Last night as I was lying in bed typing and fruitlessly trying to post to this blog, we were approaching the thriving metropolis of Elko, Nevada. It was pitch black out so I couldn't see much, and eventually, I fell asleep. And courtesy of a pair of smooshy earplugs I bought a few months back, I slept pretty darn well. I found that the bumps were minimal and the rolling sensation wasn't nearly as disruptive as I'd worried it would be. So that was a plus.

When I woke up, we were somewhere in eastern Utah. (My understanding is that we didn't miss all that much while we were conked out.) Brady was already up so we roused Isaac from his slumber at 7 and headed to the dining car for breakfast. Fortunately, it seemed like lots of folks weren't interested in eating, so we received our identical plates of Amtrak Signature French toast in record time. As we ate, we rode through some rather lovely topography in the aptly named Ruby Canyon, so we were able to leave Utah feeling like the entire state wasn't just incredibly dull. (Sorry to the Utah peeps!) 

We enjoyed a few fresh air stops throughout the rest of the day, including one in Green River, Utah, and then several in Colorado as we rode alongside the Colorado River, including Grand Junction, Glenwood Springs, Granby, Fraser-Winter Park, and most recently, Denver. After lunch as the first few stops, Adam and Isaac took naps and Brady hung out in the boys' room while I went to the observation car solo. Although it was hot as blazes in there (an a/c issue unfortunately), I got some pretty spectacular views of the Colorado River and the towering valley above between Glenwood Springs and Gypsum. It was rather overcast, but the natural beauty was just mesmerizing. 

For the remainder of the day, we spent time playing cards in the observation car and hung out in our room (which was admittedly a tight fit but it was still fun) watching the scenery and just enjoying one another's company. Adam helped out by sharing Googled information about some of our stops, including the utterly bizarre Granby Bulldozer Rampage of 2004. We braved the 6.2 mile Moffat Tunnel and took some silly pictures in the dark using a function on my game phone that I didn't previously know about. And I finished working on a shawl I'd been making and entertained the notion of giving it to Isaac to keep whenever he needs a hug from his mama at school. I had him throw it around his shoulders and he wore it until we got up to go to dinner; I wanted to tell him to keep it and why I wanted him to keep it, but my eyes welled up with tears every time I thought about it. I'll try again before I fly home.

We finished the day with dinner and then an extended fresh air break in Denver. We had no idea that the Rockies' stadium was literally right next to the train station, so it was pretty cool to get to see it in person (even if the Rockies are really, really bad).

I probably left out a lot of details I could've included, but the main points are that we had another good day hanging out together, and I'm grateful for the time I've had doing something new with my boys. So for that, I am very grateful.

August 8

As I write, I'm sitting on the bottom bunk in a sleeper car room aboard the California Zephyr. We're about halfway across Nevada and although it's only 9 PM Pacific time, the dark sky and the intermittent, not-so-distant wail of the train whistle makes it feel considerably later. We're on our way to Chicago. The first chapter of Isaac's college experience is being written as I type.

We arose early and Adam secured Mickey D's breakfast for us (per Isaac's request) as my sweet boy finished packing. Then we loaded into the Explorer bound for the Martinez Amtrak station, where Adam's parents met us so they could return the car to our driveway. (Big thanks to them for the assist.)

We boarded the train and the adventure formally began. There were some snafus, the most significant being that our pre-booked adjoining rooms wound up being in different sleeper cars, but the boys seemed okay with being on their own (especially when they realized they'd wound up with a bigger room). 

Throughout the day, we enjoyed lunch and dinner in the dining car. The patty melt and the Angus burger both proved to be winning afternoon picks, while all four of us appreciated the very rich chocolate spoon cake presented for dessert after dinner. We also visited the observation car on multiple occasions (since not surprisingly, there didn't seem to be a lot of folks interested in taking a long look at much of Nevada's scenery and the tables were a great place to play cards). We got off during the "smoke break stop" at Reno and walked up and down the platform. (It was hot. Very hot.) We messaged with Abby who is already in Wheaton hanging out with some of her besties for a few days. I crocheted and chatted with Adam and he even looked up the deets on the prison we spotted in nowheresville. And we watched the scenery go by and realized just how big and majestic this country really is. 

It was, I think, a good day. The photos don't really do the experience justice; I took a lot and Adam took a lot but the internet connection isn't great so it's really just a loosely representative collage that I threw together using Google. 

I'm not entirely sure that I'm going to be able to sleep much, but I'm grateful for the bed (even if it uses up every square inch of floor space) and I'm grateful that Adam took the upper bunk and that there's a harness up there to keep him from falling out, because once I got over the shock of it I'd probably laugh and that would be uncool. And I'm grateful that we're able to be present for Isaac as this next phase of his life begins.

August 7

"My head feels like it's workin' overtime on nothing."

That's what Isaac said after dinner, and I don't think I've ever related to a statement quite like I relate to this one. 

It was his response when I reminded him --for the sixth or seventh time (had to -- he loves that 6/7 thing)-- that he still needed to pack because we leave in the morning for Wheaton. It was, I think, his way of saying that he felt overwhelmed and needed a bit more time to process the looming reality. So he asked to play a few hands of cards first, and then we went and got ice cream at The Dairy (where Tyler, his long-time good friend, took our order), and then he played catch with Brady in the yard, and then Adam and I took Abby to the airport while he figured out which video games to take to school. (She's flying out to spend a few days with her friends; the rest of us are taking the train. It'll be an experience!) And now, now that it's almost midnight, he's munching his way through a Totino's pizza while slowly packing up his things. Processing reality in his own way, in his own time.

And I guess I'm doing the same: processing reality in my own way, in my own time. I haven't really let myself be sad about him leaving, but today the chinks in my armor widened and I cried more than once. I know he'll do wonderfully well at college; he's a people-person and college is an amazing place for people-people. And I know that God holds him in the palm of His hand and will continue to do so. But as the one who carried him for nine months and watched him grow from a chunky baby into a wide-eyed toddler and then on to a conscientious kid and a responsible, caring, sweet teen and now young adult, it's hard to watch him take those steps away from me.

Still, I'm grateful to be his mom. And I'm grateful to know that God has great things in store for him.

August 6

We're down to the last few days before Isaac goes to Wheaton. He has a list but still needs to pack up his things, which makes me a wee bit nervous, but I appreciate how he's approaching his departure by prioritizing time with his friends and family.

Like today, for example, he had his friends over one more time to play video games this afternoon. They were louder than loud, but I chuckled aloud numerous times at their enthusiasm at their vibrant brotherhood.

After they left, Isaac and Brady engaged in one of their customary wrestling matches. No one really "won," but there was much joviality. And again, it made me smile. (And I recorded it for posterity's sake.)

And then this evening, he went and had an early dinner with Bruce from Young Life and Tyler. I know they're both important people in his life, so I'm grateful that he eked out time to spend with them before he leaves. Transitions are tough, but I'm thankful to God that my sweet son is handling his in a way that makes good sense.