May 30

We began our summer vacation with a crack-of-dawn (okay, 9am, but it may as well have been the crack of dawn) baseball game.

Although Brady's sole contributions were a walk and a run scored, the Royals cruised to their first win of the Big Season by topping the A's 7-0. 

I didn't take many photos and as strange as it sounds, this is probably the best of the three or four I snapped. The blurred little figure in the background is, of course, Brady. He's not the fastest runner but his coach is very big on stealing bases, so he took off shortly after reaching first base.

Anyway, I don't have any big observations to share, other than to say that I am grateful to have another solid school year in the books, and I am grateful for more opportunities to watch Brady play ball. As I'm finding out over time, the early years of life may feel long and drawn out at times, but they are most definitely shorter than I ever would have imagined.

May 29

Isaac graduated from high school today.

Adam's mom is still recovering from a health challenge she experienced a few weeks back, but his dad came down to join us for the festivities. We started with some of our customary photos in the backyard, and then headed out for an early (4:30) dinner at CPK (where The Works pizza proved to be a crowd-pleaser among the non-Brady menfolk). 

Isaac's ceremony report time was 5:45, so we drove over to Amador as soon as we finished with dinner and got him there just in time. He went inside to prep for the big event while the rest of us got in line to enter the stadium. A little later, we settled into our seats on the bleachers overlooking the football field. It was a surprisingly chilly day for late-May in the Bay (with a high of 65 degrees), so it wasn't exactly warm, but we made it through the two-hour ceremony in good spirits, partly aided by the impressive job done by one of the teachers tasked with reading graduate names. Mr. Robbins (who was Isaac's English teacher this year) has this booming, theatrical voice and he really gets into his duties, which absolutely added entertainment value to what could otherwise be dry proceedings.

Isaac was in one of the later groups to walk the stage, and my heart leapt into my throat when the name of the teacher he chose to hand him his diploma was called. (They graduate in groups according to their chosen teacher, not via ABC order.) I watched him edge closer to the podium; his friend Alex --with whom he played baseball for years-- was just in front of him and by happenstance we were sitting right next to his family, so we all screamed when Alex walked. And then a moment later, when Isaac's name was called, we all screamed again. And then I watched as he crossed the stage, paused briefly for a photo with his diploma holder and then strode back to his seat on the field. 

Afterward, once we found him, there were more photos and some sibling joviality (after he secured a cap and tassel. He threw his and then couldn't find it, but Tyler gave him his extra tassel. And he got a hat... somehow. Oh, and no, Brady is not taller than Isaac. This is an optical illusion). And then we all headed back home. Although some of his friends opted to go to the Grad Night party sponsored by the school, Isaac took a pass because he thought he'd be tired and wanted to get some good sleep. And in keeping with that stated desire, shortly after Adam's dad headed back to Lafayette and Adam, Abby, and Brady retired to bed, he changed into his pajamas and came back downstairs to sit with me for a few minutes in the quiet of the family room. (He does that sometimes; just comes and sits.) I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about and he said no; he just came to sit. So I let him. And after a few minutes, he got up, came over to give me and hug, and thanked me for being his mama. And I hugged him back and since he doesn't like it when I say I'm proud of him, I told him that I'm pleased with how he's choosing to let God lead his life. Because I am.

Isaac is a remarkable young man. He's intelligent and he thinks deeply about difficult questions. Even when he was very young and struggled to communicate his thoughts and feelings at times, there was always a soulfulness in his eyes that told me that he was far more complex than he seemed. Although he's had his troubles over the past few years, he continued seeking God and asking Him the hard questions. And although I know he doesn't have all of the answers he'd like to have, I know the Lord has blessed him with wisdom beyond his not-quite-18 years. 

So tonight, I remember the sweet boy he once was; my darling little chunky truck who loved giving Brady his pa-e-chowuh and massacred bowls of peas like no one else. And I celebrate the young man he is, because he is well-worthy of celebration.

Congratulations on your graduation, Isaac. I love you so very much.

May 28

Tomorrow, Isaac graduates from high school. 

But rather than immersing myself in memories of him as a baby and ruminating over how I can hardly believe that my chunky little truck is on the verge of adulthood (which I am entirely sure I will do for the next few days), I spent the evening with some of my fellow moms, most of whom have sons who play baseball with Brady.

And it was really, really fun. We drank wine and ate appetizers and talked about life and laughed. 

Although it's true that I find myself craving solitude more often than company during this phase of my life, I like these ladies and I like their sons. And I'm grateful to have had some time to get to know them a little better today. 

May 27

With just two days until graduation, Isaac donned his cap and gown and returned to his elementary school this afternoon for a photo op with some of his old classmates.

(It's almost impossible to tell, but he's the second from the left on the top part of the play structure, kind of in the shadows.)

Anyway, it was weird for me to be back there. On one hand, that school served as a home base for us for quite a long time, from Abby's kindergarten through Brady's third grade years. But it's also the school where I served as PTA President, and the emotional fallout from that not-so-great experience still lingers a bit today.

But fortunately, Isaac seemed to soak up the experience as he should have: with wide-eyed nostalgia. He played Skill (a more aggressive form of foursquare) and tetherball in his cap and gown and walked around the campus trying to remember where his classrooms were located and which of the outdoor lunch tables had been his go-to meal spot. It was sweet seeing his eyes light up as he took it all in and remembered those early days.

So for the blessing of being able to look back and fondly remember old times, I am grateful.

May 26

Brady's freshman baseball season came to a true close tonight with the baseball banquet.

Although one of the parents did an excellent job of  putting together our team slideshow and I enjoyed watching it, the real gift of the evening was when we were leaving and one of the parents handed Brady these.

They're a full set of double-sided baseball cards, featuring every member of the team. 

Kim and Jim had no obligation to create and give the boys this kind of souvenir, but they did it anyway. And the cards are absolutely beautiful. 

So tonight, I'm thankful for thoughtful people who give unexpected, meaningful gifts to my kids.

May 25

The weather today reflected my general mood: cloudy with occasional sunshine, and lots of wind. Lots and lots and lots of wind.

I don't now why I was feeling as moody as I was; maybe it's because I slept in far too long. Or maybe it's my unconscious self thinking ahead to Isaac's graduation this Friday. Or maybe it's just my age and my body is misbehaving.

Whatever the reason, I was glad when I looked out the window this evening and saw this physical representation of how I'd been feeling. I know intellectually that He always sees me, but I felt seen by God. And for that, I am grateful.

May 24

Several months back, Pastor Mary floated the idea of having Isaac and Connor --the two high school seniors at our church-- speak on Student Sunday. With graduation looming, it seemed like a good way to allow the two of them to share what they've learned over their years at GraceWay. 

But over time, the directive morphed from "speak" to "deliver the sermon," and honestly, I panicked a little bit. I wasn't worried because I thought Isaac wouldn't have anything to share; in fact, my concerns revolved around him having too much to say. My kiddo is a thinker who has lots of terrific ideas, but he sometimes has difficulty with organizing said-musings. So I prayed --multiple times-- that God would give him the words.

He started working on his remarks a few months ago, and occasionally told me what he intended to share. He changed course a few times along the way, and going into this morning, I had no idea what he would say. 

And he nailed it. It was a beautiful blend of personal testimony and scriptural wisdom and humor. At times, as I sat watching with tears in my eyes, I could hardly believe it was my child up there delivering the message he was sharing. (Lest my humility should fail, I'll add that I know-know that Isaac held the pen and delivered the message, but it was God who planted the words in his heart.) I cannot take credit for who he is --because God is the creator and I'm just a mom who took him to church and talked about Jesus sometimes-- but I am so pleased with how he's choosing to humble himself and live a Christ-centered life.

God is doing a mighty work in him, and I am so grateful to be able to watch him grow. 

If you'd like to hear his sermon, check it out here. His portion begins at the 54-minute mark.