February 28

I went to the post office this morning to mail a package. As I stood in line, I watched a woman as she tried to ready her own package. She wasn't sure how to assemble the box she'd chosen, so the woman in front of me stepped out of line to try to help her fold the edges. Then, she wasn't sure how to pack her very small item in her very large box, so I suggested she pull discarded newspaper from the recycling bin below the counter (as long as it wasn't wet!). So she did. The woman in front of me showed her how to crumple it in order to create shock absorbers, and I stepped over to help.

As we worked, an older woman in line behind us mused that it was the most beautiful thing she’d seen all week, and I had to agree. The spirit of cooperation that took over across a group of women representing several different cultures was just an amazing thing. And I was really proud to be part of it. No, not proud, because that word suggests that I had some hand in orchestrating the interaction when in reality, I didn’t. So I'll say blessed instead. Just blessed. And for that, I'm thankful.

February 27

While I was sitting in my car waiting for Abby this afternoon, I pulled out my phone to check my hair.

As I straightened (more than) a few flyaways, I noticed Brady making faces in the background. A moment later, Isaac joined in. It made me giggle, so I snapped a pic.

This life can be far too heavy sometimes, so these unexpected lighthearted moments mean so much to me. Who doesn't enjoy a good laugh? I know I do. (And clearly, so do my exceedingly goofy Little Boys.)

February 26

I pulled into the dropoff lane at school today as I always do, but unlike most mornings, I had to wait for a few cars in front of me to clear out before I could drive off. So in the spare moments, I glanced over at the boys on the sidewalk as they headed for the gate. My heart smiled when I saw this:

Okay, so it's a terrible picture, but they were walking close together and Isaac had his arm thrown protectively over Brady's shoulders.

I love how they care for each other. I overheard them having a discussion about how they're best friends a few weeks ago, and I think it's true. And that's a huge blessing.

February 25

This is a rather goofy picture of my muffin, yes.

I took it as we walked over to the school to pick up Isaac. It was a chilly, windy afternoon, and the skies threatened rain, so just Brady and one other boy opted to stick around for pre-pickup play time at the park. The remarkable part of the story is that historically, Brady has butted heads with this particular kid, but today they ran and played and kicked a soccer ball together. And they seemed to legitimately enjoy one another's company.

It would be nice if adults could put aside their differences more often --like this pair of eight-year olds-- and just get along, wouldn't it? I think so.

February 24

I've never really been into church music. I'm not a particularly good singer and it just doesn't usually speak to me the way it seems to speak to others. (And, for the record, I think that's okay. Different elements of worship appeal to different people... differently.) But every now and then it takes me by surprise.

The service --which ironically featured a message on...worship-- was finishing up and this was the last song we sang. As I breathed the words (as I often do), I felt a rush and then goosebumps.

It didn't last long, but it's always a blessing when you know the Holy Spirit is in da house -- and in YOU.

February 23

About two-thirds of the way through the movie we were watching this evening (which was, for the record, "Secretariat"), Brady asked if we could cuddle. So we did.

I don't know if he was cold or tired or just wanted some mom-time, but it was really nice to be huddled up under a blanket with him on the couch. As I've said before, I know these days won't last forever, so I'm thankful for every sweet little moment that arises.

February 22

Since Adam and I don't go out on Valentine's Day and I was battling a cold last week, we finally got around to having our dinner tonight.

The restaurant was super crowded and significantly louder than I prefer (and as a result, I heard way too much about our far-too-close neighbor's new girlfriend). But the company was good, so I'm going to bed feeling content. We've been Valentines for 22 years now, and that's most definitely a blessing!

February 21

Abby and I had an amusing ride home from her dance class tonight.

A song we both know came on the radio and we both sang along. And then Abby decided to seat-dance in a manner that matched the tune in hilarious fashion. By the time I pulled into the driveway, I was almost crying laughing at our collaboration.

I really do treasure the ridiculous moments.

February 20

It was mostly clear today... until this evening, when both boys were scheduled to have baseball practice at two different locations. Sprinkles fell from a newly clouded sky as we drove to Isaac's meet-up first; it wound up being canceled, but we got to see a lovely mix of sunbeams and clouds. Then we headed across town to drop Brady at his practice (which was not cancelled). And this was part of the sunset Isaac and I took in while we waited for Adam to join us:

I do so love the sense of peace that washes over me as I watch the sun set on a cloudy evening, so though the driving-around-unnecessarily part of the day wasn't exactly on my favorites-list, I'm thankful that I had such a great seat for this particular scene.

February 19

I've mentioned this before, but I'm something of a weather wuss. I grew up in suburban Maryland which means that once upon a time, I had to deal with actual seasons, including the winter staples of cold temps, snow, and ice. But now? No thanks. Still, I'll happily appreciate the very (very) small signs of winter that we have here, like frosted blades of grass:

My disdain for cold weather aside, I'm always impressed with the intricacy of frost, and with how it seems to cast a sense of peace across the earth it blankets.

Or at least, that's how I see it. So though I didn't love that it was 30 degrees when I drove the short people to school this morning, I did love that sense of tranquility.

February 18

As Adam and I were leaving the Red Cross post-blood donation last week, he remarked on the white blossoms on the trees in the parking lot. Then he noted that he hadn't seen any other blooms so far this year (which isn't terribly surprising since, you know, it's mid-February).

Then when I was out running errands this morning, I saw these pretty pink flowers, took a pic, and sent it to him. His response? A simple :).

The tree is definitely pretty, but it was even nicer to generate a smile.

February 17

It's not unusual for me to find Isaac holding doors for his classmates or helping younger kids, but I was a little surprised --and totally gratified-- to see Brady doing the same for his two-year old cousin this morning at a family birthday party.

Asher wanted to go outside and asked Brady to help him with his socks and shoes. Without missing a beat, Brady agreed. The moment was a short-lived one, but it was a sweet one for me. Brady is definitely my scrapper (which isn't surprising given that he's number four and he's the only one of my babes who isn't an older sibling), so it was a blessing to see him taking care of someone his junior.

February 16

Brady finished up his first-ever season of basketball this afternoon. None of our kids had ever played before so he didn't have much of a background in the sport, but he improved quite a bit over the past few months, and today's game was his best yet: he made two baskets, had several rebounds, and played good defense. That's my Sooner number 32 in the middle of the shot.

Beyond all of that, he genuinely enjoyed spending time with a whole new set of boys, and I enjoyed watching him have fun.

So for the blessing of being able to let him try out different sports and for the bigger blessing of him enjoying himself when he does so, I'm thankful.

Now bring on the baseball. :)

February 15

Adam sent me flowers for Valentine's Day. When they arrived, they looked a bit... lackluster. No, dead. They looked dead. They were droopy and floppy and kind of pathetic in that Charlie Brown Christmas tree way. But I added water and flower food to the vase and put them on the counter anyway in hopes that they'd perk up a least a wee bit.

They still looked a bit unfortunate this morning, but by this afternoon, they came around and now they look like this:

I think the events of my life often follow the same course as these flowers: they look lousy for a while and I can't imagine how I'll ever be able to find any beauty amid the oft-chaotic ugly. But then, just when I'm about to give up, something lovely blooms.

We're not promised an easy path through life, but we are promised that good will arise from the bad for those who Believe. And for that truth, I'm grateful.

February 14

I seem to have picked up my first cold in 18 months so I'm fading fast, but wanted to get this entry in before I pass out.

Valentine's Day: a day devoted to expressing love and care for those dearest to us. A totally contrived holiday designed to boost greeting card and chocolate sales ;) but also a great excuse to spoil these people a bit.

They all have my number and know how to push my buttons at times, but they're also truly three of the best people I know. And I am beyond blessed and grateful to be their (and Logan's) mom.

February 13

You know the great thing about being happy? Anyone can choose to do it at any time, regardless of their circumstances. (And yeah, I know that's a bold statement and it's probably tempting to contradict me, but I feel like I have a wee bit of moral authority when it comes to the topic of *choosing* joy.) So needless to say, this caught my eye while I was in the restroom at the boys' school this afternoon:

There is always, always, something to be joyful over. Sometimes feeling joy means putting frustrations on the back burner for a while and sometimes it means searching a little to find it, but it's always there waiting on you -- and me. So I'm going to start looking a little harder.

February 12

Brady really appreciates organization and order. (He does not get this from me.) So I wasn't surprised when I found this on the coffee table this afternoon.

He and a couple of friends worked on putting together a fort in the park after school today. This is the list of tasks he apparently put together when we got home.

Given that I know from experience that being less than organized can make life more difficult, I'm thankful that he's been blessed with a desire to keep his ducks in line.

February 11

I'm never quite sure how I'll feel on this date. The first few anniversaries of Logan's death were filled with so much raw emotion and so many tears that my primary goal was to simply survive until the 12th. The next few ushered in a medley of grief, anger, and confusion as I struggled to figure out how I should feel. Then last year I felt mostly numb, because the date brought the unanticipated passing of my cousin Elena who, like my sweet boy, waged a heroic battle against cancer before her body became too tired to continue on. But today... today was different than the six anniversaries that came before.

In fairness, there were many ways that it was like anniversaries past: scores of much-appreciated notes and messages from friends, a blood donation for me (poor Adam's on the deferral list for a year thanks to his business trip to India last month), a trip to his grave, and spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

But what made it different were the unexpected moments of laughter: the meme that made me cackle like a hyena (repeatedly) during our Logan-approved Costco cheese pizza lunch and the sound of Brady reciting some of the funnier lines from "Cars 2" as we watched it this afternoon and the sight of Adam playing basketball with a bunch of second graders this evening. Initially I felt weird about laughing on an anniversary that's been so somber in the past, but not for long because Logan loved to laugh. He loved to be silly and to dance around like no one was watching and to talk too loud and too fast (and in languages no one else understood). In fact, he brought so much laughter into my life in the five-and-a-half years he was here physically that it suddenly felt like to crime to not laugh. And so I did.

There were, of course, tears for some of us because it's natural to be sad when we remember an unhappy event. But today, I'm thankful for my Sunshine and for the laughter. And I'm happy that rather than hiding in the shadows, I gave myself permission to feel the warmth of the light.

February 10

We were singing at church this morning when my gaze shifted to Brady, who stood on my right.

I watched him for a few moments and was genuinely touched by what I saw. I initially thought he was just tired, but quickly realized that no, he was actually mouthing the words to the song --which, frankly, I was stunned to realize he knew by heart-- and seemed to be really into it.

I have no idea what he was thinking (and it's totally possible that he was mulling the finer points of Pokemon or Legoes or penguins), but the sight of my eight-year old singing a worship song in such a sweet way made my heart happy. And for that small gift, I'm thankful.

February 9

It's always nice to spend time with friends, and today Abby and I did just that when we headed out for the afternoon with Gracie and her mom, Angela. We started with lunch at a new restaurant in town and then headed to the theater a hop, skip, and a jump away to take in a production of "Mamma Mia".

Although Abby and Gracie have a few classes together at school and we see each other at church, the four of us hadn't gone out together since 2014, when we did a dual birthday celebration for the girls. And if today told me anything, it's that we shouldn't wait so long to get together again. (And that groovy metallic platform boots are hilarious.)

February 8

Having an in-house teenager can be awesome, especially when you decide you'd like a spur of the moment date night with the hubs.

We certainly did our time in the trenches as parents to little ones, and part of that experience meant that we hardly ever went out alone. (Seriously. Maybe five times in 10 years.) So it's a blessing to be able to take these moments together now that our short people have gotten a little taller.

February 7

It's been chilly for the past several days so I wasn't surprised when I went outside this morning and the lawn was covered with a thin blanket of frost.

Seeing all of those little blades of grass brought to mind Luke 12:7 -- "But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows."

I'm valuable and you're valuable. Remember that.

February 6

I totally missed the moment and there's a 99.9% chance it'll happen again sometime soon so I could save it for another time, but I figured I'd go with what I have (since I don't have anything else from today anyway!).

When Isaac finishes his baseball classes, he makes a beeline for the exit. And then he stands there and holds the net up for his classmates so they can leave without entanglement. (Because believe me, kids get tangled in those nets all the time.)

I love that he still holds the door for other people without being asked. It shows kindness and good character. I could be selfish and try to take credit for his good manners, but it really has very little to do with my very human efforts. The truth is that all of his positive attributes are by-products of grace and mercy, so for those blessings, I'm thankful.

February 5

I trotted around the Sports Park this afternoon while Isaac had baseball practice. (It was very cold so I trotted quickly.) Yesterday's rain left puddles of water in various locations along the path so I spent a lot of time dodging them, but this one caught my eye.

"Look for the light around the edges." I'm not sure that it was the voice of God, per se, but it came to mind and it makes sense, especially given the frustrating circumstances I've faced in recent days.

So I'm going to try to do that: even when a situation doesn't look rosy, I'll look for the bright spots --the blessings-- around the edges.

February 4

A cold rain fell on and off throughout the day and, to be honest, it mirrored my mood. Simply put, it was a very Monday Monday. But it wasn't without its sweet moments: there was a multiple laugh-inducing text exchange with a friend, a well-timed Facebook post that countered a battle I've been waging for several weeks now, an extremely bright double rainbow, and this:

Brady shivered as we left the school this afternoon. He hadn't fastened the snaps on his raincoat, so I stopped on the sidewalk and asked if he wanted some help. He said yes, and he held my umbrella as I obliged. And he giggled as the wind whipped and nearly swept it from his hands. We then enjoyed a wet, windy, giggle-filled walk back to the car under said umbrella.

I didn't love the wet jeans, but I did love those blessed moments --and laughs-- with my muffin.

February 3

I know I've written virtually the same entry at least once before, but the reality is that I didn't do much today other than go to church, visit Logan's grave, go for a walk, and watch hours of "Forensic Files" (in order to avoid the Super Bowl, which captivated the boys' attention all afternoon). So, behold: a rainbow we saw while walking with Adam:

We watched it come and go as we talked and wandered around the neighborhood together.

Conversation and rainbows -- both beautiful things and both blessings to my mushy heart.

February 2

It was a crazy weather Saturday, with periods of rain followed by sun followed by rain. At one point this afternoon, I looked up and noticed a spray of subtle sunbeams:

This is totally corny, but sunbeams always remind me of Heaven's light shining down. And since Logan's anniversary is coming up, I was grateful for such a visible reminder of what is and what's to come.

February 1

I walked by the computer this morning after I took the boys to school and saw this:

In case it's not obvious, the image features two of Brady's favorite stuffed animals --Little Beggar (aka Bagger, thanks to pronunciation issues) and Ice Cube-- sitting in front of the monitor.

I don't have any big observations about it, to be honest; I just thought it was cute. And some days, the simple blessing of seeing something cute is enough.