September 30

I have no idea why, but as we walked back to the car after school, Brady was on the hunt for a mushroom. When we found this one, he asked me to take a picture of it. So I did.

And now, hours later, I still don't know why (and it wasn't because I didn't ask; he just didn't tell). So I have a random photo of a mushroom in my phone camera roll. Okay then.

When I first started typing this entry it felt completely pointless, but in hindsight, I realize it's really not because God definitely does what Brady did this afternoon. He asks us to do things that --in the moment-- seem totally bizarre and don't make logical sense. But we should do them anyway because strange or not, one hundred percent of the time, they lead to some pretty amazing outcomes.

September 29

Adam's mom was scheduled to play the organ at their church this morning, so we deviated from our normal Sunday routine to go watch (and listen). Given that the whole 'walk and chew gum' thing is a challenge for me sometimes, I'm always impressed by how she's able to do different things with both hands and a foot all at once.

After the service ended, the kids went up to say hi and she gave them a primer on the organ. (Or at least I assume that's what was happening since Adam and I just watched from the pew.)

As they stood there I wondered if any of them inherited her musical talent. And I thought about how nice it is that they're getting the chance to spend time with their grandparents, because those connections are a blessing.

September 28

I'm not sure why, but Abby decided she wanted to make some (and I'm using her words here) "autumnal gingerbread" this afternoon. So I asked my mom to send her our recipe, she complied, and my girl is whipping up a batch right now as we watch "The Fate of the Furious."

So we're watching a movie, Abby is baking something, and it's just... comfortable. I guess you could call it our current iteration of a typical Saturday night for us. Given how much of my life in recent years has been marked by difficulty and challenge, right now I'm just grateful to feel calm.

September 27

My girl isn't typically one to go for big social gatherings, so I was a little surprised when, at church last week, she told me she was interested in attending one. So tonight, we went to a women's ministry event.

There was dinner and chit chat and worship time and a message --which just so happened to be based on Galatians 6:9, which has been a hugely important verse for me this year-- and crafts. And of course, a chance to take some goofy photo booth pics.

Sometimes I truly feel like Abby must still be a really little girl because surely she's can't be almost 15. But she is just that -- almost 15 and a sophomore in high school. Although I miss younger-Abby at times, I love how teenager-Abby and I can do these kinds of things together now. And I don't think I could be any prouder of --or anymore blessed by-- the amazing young person she is.

September 26

This particular verse has come to me --repeatedly-- throughout the course of this year.

I've applied to my own life and referenced it to a handful of friends who've found themselves in difficult situations. So I was less than surprised to find it featured in today's middle school ministry update from church.

Overt reminders of what's true? Those are always blessings to me.

September 25

Heidi's earliest memories of our family probably involve her repeated (and no doubt impassioned) readings of "Dr. Seuss's ABCs" to a cranky baby Abby in the church nursery. We've been in and out of touch since then, but she's starting a new job next week and her free time will be scarce, so we decided to meet up for coffee this morning at my mother ship.

And I am so, so glad that we did. It was a long conversation that touched on a number of different topics --from managing teens to friendship-- and I left feeling truly encouraged.

So for that not-so-small blessing, I'm grateful.

September 24

For better or worse, I can see bits and pieces of myself (and past versions of myself) in my kids. (Which isn't terribly surprising since I birthed them and all, but I digress.) So when I turned around to look at Brady in the back seat of my car this afternoon between pick-ups, I smiled to myself when I saw this:

For one, he --like me-- apparently suffers from resting b!tch face. But more importantly, he really enjoys books. I loved reading when I was a kid. I holed up in my bedroom and went through books at warp speed; I remember borrowing an entire series --one book at a time-- from a girl in my dance class. I'd see her every Saturday, and without fail, I'd hand her the previous week's offering and she'd hand me the next one in line.

Given that not all of my memories are particularly positive, I'm thankful that Brady (and Abby and Isaac) likes to read, and that seeing him so engrossed in his new story triggered a happy wave of nostalgia for me.

September 23

These Crepe Myrtle flowers like to fall from the trees and coat the ground with their perky pinkness.

Brady was mystified when I paused to take this picture this afternoon, but as I explained to him, they're bright and cheerful and somehow, just seeing them --even just clustered by the curb-- makes me smile. And I can't think of anyone I know who can't use extra grins.

September 22

There were many things about today that were frustrating and that, had I been in a negative frame of mind, would've made it less than good. But there was also this:

It was something of an ugly last-home-game-of-the-regular-season for the A's, but somehow, this moment of brotherly love --and temperate weather and blue skies and when the annoying people beside me got up and left early-- made it okay. So I'm thankful.

September 21

Today was a nice, calm Saturday that began with this note from an old friend.

Said-friend and I have been messaging back and forth for a few months now, and I've really appreciated her openness. Her experiences give her perspective that I don't have, so I was gratified --and humbled-- to read that my comments have kinda-sorta helped her, too.

So for the blessing of feeling like I can help point others in the right direction, I'm thankful.

September 20

When I sat down to type this entry, I wasn't sure exactly what I'd say, but now that I'm sitting here, I'll think I'll just go for broke. (And sorry in advance if I'm oversharing. Since I don't have an image of what's to come --for good reason-- here's a cute pic of Abby and I after our evening stroll.)

It's been... a week. I guess that's the best way to put it. Monday morning I did what many (hopefully almost all!) women over 40 do each year: I went for my mammogram. (And if you're over 40 and you're not going, go do it.) By early afternoon on Tuesday, I knew that my results were abnormal and required additional screening to be scheduled "as soon as you can." After an initial jolt of panic hit me, I texted Adam, talked to a good friend, and scheduled the follow-up for today.

And then I did a lot of thinking. And praying. I've always been a worry wart, and the one thing that will make a worry wart an even bigger worrier is being hit with a one-in-millions diagnosis like Logan had. But strangely, rather than that sustained, sick-to-the-stomach feeling that plagued me the entire time my sweet boy was sick, my heart was mostly calm. And though I was still scared (to death, really) when I went back this morning, I felt actual comfort knowing that everything would be okay -- even if I didn't get the result I obviously wanted. And I was surprised that I could pray for what I wanted, but that I could also genuinely say "I will be okay with whatever You want for me."

So already long story shorter, I'm fine after all. The red flags the radiologist initially saw were resolved with some extra pictures, and then I was released to keep living this life of mine as I choose to live it.

So today, I choose to be thankful --deeply so-- that I'm okay and that my family hasn't been thrust into the darkness that is coping with another serious illness.

September 19

Sometimes I swear that if he could, Brady would try every single sport because whenever he sees a sign advertising tryouts, he asks if he can go. He's been playing baseball for a while now, of course, but last fall I finally said okay to basketball, and today, he started his second year of said-sport with a round of evaluations.

I don't love the time commitments sometimes, but I really do enjoy watching him --and Isaac-- play, regardless of what it is that they're playing. And I like watching Abby dance, too, because watching my kids both learn and have fun is a substantial blessing.

September 18

Somehow we both blinked and it'd been a year since Corie and I had seen one another, so we rectified that issue by catching up today over lunch.

The adorable little guy in the middle joined us as we munched and chit-chatted.

Once upon a time --back when she was our preschool teacher-- we saw quite a lot of each other. Although the different trajectories of our lives have thrown us into a 'get-togethers are few and far between' phase, it's nice to know that we can always pick up right where we left off.

September 17

I got out of my car this morning, took a half step, and saw this in the adjacent parking space:

A single heart-shaped leaf.

Clearly you can find a little bit of extra love anywhere and everywhere... if you're looking. And who doesn't need extra love?

September 16

It rained this morning.

I know it's probably a strange concept to people back home (where it rains or snows all year long), but it was the first rainfall of the season here, which means it was the first time it'd rained since, oh, May or so.

Although the most notable effect of said rain was the usual --the expected drop in IQ of most people driving cars-- I also couldn't help but breathe in the scent and be grateful for what the rain represents: renewal. Because as my devotional this morning said, God wants us to rest and to be restored.

September 15

Isaac and Brady are in bed and Adam, Abby, and I are finishing up a very pleasant weekend by doing what we've done for a few months now: watching "Cheers" on Netflix.

Occasionally questionable content aside, I really enjoy spending this time with the two of them. I enjoy the laughter and the chit-chat and the time just sitting together while we try to explain the plentiful '80s references to our 2004-born daughter. (And there's also the joy of listening to BearBear sing the theme song. That is an experience.)

Time with loved ones is always, always a blessing.

September 14

A year ago, Abby openly mocked my extensive shoe collection, but recent times have seen her developing her own growing affinity for footwear. So tonight when she asked if she could try on some of mine, I said sure, so she did just that (even though her feet are about a size larger). And the sight of her strutting around in my heels gave me an immediate sense of nostalgia.

She loved wearing my shoes when she was a little one and I knew I had a handful of pics that captured those moments, so I fired up the desktop and took a trip back to 2006. Although this isn't the precise memory that flashed in my mind, it's a good representation of what I'm going for here so it works.

I love watching her grow and mature and I'm really proud of who she is now, but I also love the moments when she unwittingly reminds me of who she once was. We are, after all, the sum of all of our experiences (and then some, I think), so chances to look back fondly on the building blocks that helped to make my girl are priceless.

September 13

I had a Logan kind of shopping trip this afternoon. I went to the store intending to buy pepperoni and pizza sauce, and as I so often do, I took a detour through the cars aisle. And I found both of these:

The Corvette was a no-brainer because it's a Corvette. But I almost passed on the flame job --even though I usually go for those-- until I realized that it's a Hudson Hornet. Just like Doc Hudson from "Cars".

I so treasure the minutes when I feel like he's not quite so far away.

September 12

Nikki brought me a lemon bundt cake last night. There was no special occasion; she was just being nice. I was pretty full from dinner at the time so I saved it for lunch today. (Yes, I ate bundt cake for lunch. Don't judge.)

It was (as lemon bundt cakes are) delicious and I snarfed it down far more quickly than I'd like to admit. (Think Roadrunner.) But tastiness aside, it was just a really sweet gesture, and I'm always thankful when I know that my friends were thinking of me.

September 11

I heard a soft plinking sound as I went to check the mail this afternoon. When I looked down, I saw that my Fitbit had attempted to make a break for it:

Then this evening, as I walked back to my car following a quick Target run, I again heard the slightest plinking noise and again looked down and saw my Fitbit on the ground.

The sound was so subtle that I could easily have missed hearing it, but that didn't happen. So this evening as I head off to bed, I'm thankful that my ears were open to hear the virtually imperceptible sound of it hitting the pavement... twice. Sometimes hearing the softest of sounds is the best thing for me.

September 10

All of my children have gone through 'interesting clothing choice' phases. Abby completely rejected any and all pants (and spewed particularly strong vitriol at denim) in favor of leggings and skirts for a time. Isaac once had a special affinity for formal clothing like button-down shirts and vests. And Logan, well, Logan once had a special interest in running around buck naked. I think Adam and I both share a giggle-worthy memory of him at age two or three splashing in the fountain at our alma mater in southern California; he gleefully stripped off every stitch of his clothing before we could even begin to process what he was doing. And Brady? Brady likes to mismatch his socks.

The mismatches are often so ridiculously egregious that one of his baseball coaches has asked me if he even owns any socks that match. He does, of course, but there's something irresistibly fun about wearing two that look nothing alike; of creating pairs that don't look like pairs at all.

I'm a rule-follower and I could get annoyed about being The Mom Whose Kid's Socks Never Match, and honestly, a few years ago I probably would have insisted that he never leave the house like that. But now? It's not a big deal. So for that change in my perspective --my increasing willingness to not sweat the small stuff-- and for my kids marching to the beats of their own drummers, I'm grateful. Because this life is far too short to be stuck on things that don't really matter.

September 9

Isaac and Brady were watching "Power Rangers" on Netflix while we waited for Adam to get home this evening. My natural inclination is to run when I hear the opening bars of that theme song (because Power Rangers), but tonight I decided to buck the trend and sit with them.

Brady and I (and BearBear) had a really nice cuddle. It was a lovely time to just be and to inhale the scent of his precious eight-year old boy-ness (which fortunately smelled more like cookies than eight-year old boy). And to rest. I definitely don't spend enough time resting in and with the people I love most, so I'm thankful I had the opportunity to do those things today.

September 8

We have an established Sunday routine. First, church. Then lunch, then a few hours of downtime. And then Adam and I take the boys to baseball and head over to the Sports Park for a walk. And that's exactly what we did today. And this is what I saw when I glanced over during the drop-off-at-baseball portion of our program:

Although Isaac is something of a private person and I'm never quite sure what's going on in his head, I know he's a sweet boy with a good heart. So when I saw him standing outside my window grinning, it made me smile in return. And I'm thankful for everything that (and everyone who) makes me smile.

September 7

I woke up quite late and feeling less than 100% today, so Abby and I had an abbreviated version of our usual Saturday shopping routine.

Rather than hopping around town, we went to Walmart (because Walmart) and Safeway (because we were out of milk). At one point during the drive home, the milk jug tipped over in the backseat so she reached over, picked it up, and held it in her lap all without me asking.

She may be a teenager, but she's a responsible teenager. And I'm thankful that she is.

September 6

Adam suggested we all go out to dinner tonight, so after the boys finished up with baseball, we headed over to CPK.

There was no special occasion and it was an ordinary Friday night, but we had a nice time sitting there chit-chatting and eating pizza and simply sharing time together. And for every bit of that, I'm thankful.

September 5

Since it was another not-too-hot day, I decided that Brady and I would walk home from school.

As we strolled and chatted, I had a rather jarring thought: since the elementary school's regular schedule begins next week and he'll be getting out shortly before I'll need to drive to the middle school to pick up Isaac and wait for Abby --and next year he'll be on the normal schedule from the very first day of school (sorry, it's super complicated so I'm not even going to try to explain how the educational system here operates)--, it's possible that it may have been our very last walk home from elementary school.

It may not sound like a big thing, but in my mind, it's not just big -- it's huge. I remember pushing Logan and Isaac in the big, cumbersome double stroller when Abby was in kindergarten. I remember listening to Logan chirp the make of each car that passed by and how he'd cheerfully point out those of the 'zoom' variety, and I remember our chats with mail carrier Randy, who always, always stopped his truck to talk to Logan. (They had such an amazing rapport. I'll never forget the look on Randy's face when he came to our door after we'd stopped walking to school in the fall of 2010 and I had to tell him that his buddy was seriously ill.) Then Brady was added to the mix and the seats in the stroller were shuffled, with all of my children moving --revolving door style-- from one spot to the next, over and over again. It was chaos; beautiful, beautiful chaos. And then the time came when Logan no longer needed a seat and still we walked on, talking and sharing and laughing and remembering what was. And hoping for what would be in the future.

Yup, we've probably walked hundreds of miles along that same route, over and over again, year in and year out. We've walked in heat and through surprise showers that turned even the most wizened of us into youthful puddle-jumpers and with friends and alone. And although part of me is sad that those days are coming to a close, most of me is grateful --and deeply so-- to have had those walks with my kids throughout their early years.

September 4

I was driving Abby to school this morning when I glanced up (and over) at the sky and saw this:

So I did as I do three or four times a year: I pulled over, rolled down my window, and snapped a pic. And then we were again on our way.

I don't have any mind-blowing observations to pass on, just a truth: there are many, many lovely things in this world, and I'm always a better person for taking the time to actually see them.

September 3

It was a long day. But rather than rehashing what made it so very long, I'll focus on the good part. And that would be this:

It was ice cream social night at Brady's school, so we wandered over so he could enjoy a bowl before dinner. (Yep, before dinner. Adam is out of town so we're in backwards mode at the Wight House.)

I don't get an overwhelming amount of time alone with either of my little boys, so the handful of them that I had this evening with Brady was just... sweet.

September 2

Some days, I really struggle with my mood. And today was one of those days. I got up feeling not great and things kind of spiraled downward from there. But there are bright spots in each day regardless of said day's overall tenor, and this was one:

Adam's brother invited the rest of us to join his family at Ardenwood Historic Farm in Fremont. We hadn't been before, so we --minus Abby, who said she had homework to do-- drove down to check it out. We stayed for a few hours and walked around and some of us tried out stilts. And we all rode the train.

So even on a not-great day, I'm thankful for trains and for chances to connect, even when I didn't really feel much like talking, because it's always good to be grateful for opportunities.

September 1

If you've been to church more than a few times, you know there are a lot of worship songs out there. But I awoke this morning with a very specific one playing in my heart. It ran through my head on repeat as I drank my coffee and ate my doughnut and got dressed. So I chuckled when we got to church and a glance at the morning bulletin revealed that that precise song was the one we'd sing to open the service:

"This is Amazing Grace." In case you're not familiar with it, here's a quick primer:

This is amazing grace
This is unfailing love
That You would take my place
That You would bear my cross
You lay down Your life
That I would be set free
Oh, Jesus, I sing for
All that You've done for me

I love it when I wake up to find my heart singing praise songs even before my mind is fully attuned to the world around me. And I'm thankful that I have much for which to be thankful. And I'm thankful that the "coincidence" this morning felt like a little 'yep, I heard you!' nod from God.