October 31

This Halloween was a wee bit different. I had just one kid in the elementary school costume parade this morning. Then this evening, one kid went to a party at a friend's house while the other two trick-or-treated with buddies and then headed off to a sleepover. The end result is an oddly quiet evening for Adam and I as we sit on the couch and watch TV; there's no one counting candy, no one brokering fruit-flavored versus chocolate trades. No one sneaking in extra doses of sugar before bed. It feels a little stark and strange.

As the old saying goes, "nothing endures but change", and that's certainly had a distinctive ring of truth to it for me this year. But although variables change and kids grow up, underneath it all, the really important things stay the same:

And the important thing is this: I love the sloth and the Thanos and the Flash and the Lambie in this picture. And they love the '80s flashback girl. And we all love the guy who wasn't home from work yet when I made everyone throw on their costumes so I could get this pic before Abby headed off to her party.

So although we'll all continue to age and there will be more parties and more friends and more activities and more events that will keep us apart at times, we'll always have that love and a sizable roladex of fun memories to hold us together. And for those things, I'm grateful.

October 30

I was lazily scrolling through my Facebook feed this afternoon when I came across this:

And it was a love-at-first-read story for me. I've been that little girl numerous times over the course of my lifetime; lots of prayers I wanted to lift up but just didn't know how to say.

I never thought of just praying the alphabet, but it's a brilliant idea, and the next time I can't find the words, it's what I'm going to do.

October 29

I was walking alone this evening when I passed by some rose bushes that line the road near our house.

I took a picture of a single flower for two reasons: one, it's lovely. And two, this particular shade of pink just looks like happiness. And who couldn't use an extra shot of that?

October 28

I've mentioned before that I've never been a morning person and that continues to be true. But when Abby asked if I could take her to school before sun-up this morning so she could help hang posters for Red Ribbon Week, I happily complied.

After nagging her about joining clubs all throughout her freshman year (which didn't work at all, for the record; teen-1, mom-0 on that one), I'm so proud of her for stepping outside of her comfort zone and taking part in various activities this year. She truly is becoming quite the young woman and I'm beyond blessed to be her mom (even if it means driving her to school in the dark sometimes).

October 27

I wish I could say otherwise, but my family doesn't take nice photos every year. In fact, the last time we took nice pictures outdoors with an actual photographer was... well, many moons ago. It's hard to imagine taking family photos that you could potentially blow up and hang on a wall over your fireplace when one of your children won't --can't-- be in them with you. But I decided a few weeks ago that it had been long enough, so I texted my friend Chrissy --who happens to be one of our town's best and most popular photographers-- and set up a session for today. And we met her at a local park and took those photos. I had her join us for a selfie before we parted ways:

It was something of a less-than-ideal day for a photo session; high winds whipped our hair around and downed tree branches and even took out the power (a preventive measure by the power company to try to head off wildfires). But we had fun taking them. Chrissy is truly one of the nicest people I know and she does an amazing job working with people (of all ages). And fortunately, her work is top notch, too.

So yes. The time together with Adam and Abby and Isaac and Brady (and Lambie, of course) was a blessing. And the giggles were a blessing. And the time with a friend was a blessing. So I guess you could call it a blessed day. And I am grateful for those moments.

October 26

I did a lot of running around today, but I didn't really take the time to notice anything. It frustrates me when I do that because it means I'm not really living out an attitude of gratefulness, and because it makes these entries hard to write. So as I headed to my spot on the couch a little while ago to plunk down for movie night with Adam and Abby, I asked God to give me something. Anything. And of course, He did.

Pardon the very old pedicure, but the second I sat down, Adam started to rub my feet. It's not an unusual thing for him to do, but it was unusual in that I wasn't exactly sure I deserved the luxury this evening. See, I got frustrated with him for spilling a glass of water earlier that soaked my wallet, my phone, and my keys, and I didn't handle the annoyance as well as I could have. But he showed me grace anyway. So this evening, I'm grateful for a practical reminder that we all need grace, and that it's a blessing to both give and receive it.

October 25

I grew up an Orioles fan and DC didn't even have a baseball team back then, but watching the Nationals play in the World Series this year strikes a chord of nostalgia for me anyway.

Since we live in California and rarely venture back east, I rarely to get share anything DC or Maryland-related with my kids, and sometimes that truth makes me sad. My kids are born-and-bred west coasters, and sometimes I feel like their lack of a physical connection to my homeland means they don't know much about me and how I came to be who I am. But right now, with the Nats in the mix, I can sit with the boys (and Abby, though she's not a baseball person) and remember what it was like to grow up there and even share little vignettes from my past. So for the opportunity, I'm grateful.

October 24

I won't say that I got up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed today, but I will say that I didn't have particularly high expectations as I slogged through the early phase of my morning routine. So I was pleasantly surprised to wind up with three separate blessings to touch on as I head off to bed tonight: one involving Abby, one Isaac, and the other, Brady.

The first came as I headed off on a field trip with Brady. I wasn't thrilled when --a few days ago-- his teacher asked me if I could pretty please with a cherry on top go along on their adventure; they were short a single seat, so could I please just take Brady? Since I like her and try to help my friends, I acquiesced. And to my surprise, I actually had a nice time chatting with a fellow mom and said teacher, and helping the kiddos create raffia bracelets.

The second came when I got home from the field trip and checked my email. Among the usual notes I found an extremely complimentary email from Isaac's PE teacher, which pointed out many of his good qualities and thanked us for sharing him with the school. (And I'd love to take credit for that, but it's all grace.)

The third came this evening as I watched Abby's dance class perform their Halloween routine, though it wasn't so much that as it was seeing her interact with Gracie in the lobby after the fact. I love that they found each other all those years ago and that they're such great friends. It does my heart immeasurable good to know that she is loved.

And honestly, that's not even all. There was also good health news for a friend I adore and a really great math quiz score for Abby. So much to be thankful for. So yep, for all of that, I'm grateful.

October 23

I bought sparkly purple eyeliner at Target today.

No one really needs that kind of product, but it seemed kind of fun and my eyes are mostly green so I thought it might look nice.

This is a bit random, I know, but here's the point: it's okay to veer from the normal grid sometimes. Eyeliner doesn't always have to be black or brown; sometimes it can be purple or blue. And sometimes it can definitely be glittery. And a foray into different territory can often become a wholly unexpected blessing.

October 22

Thanks to serious traffic on the freeway, Adam got home much later than anticipated this evening, but we kept our plan to go out to dinner anyway. When we got back, the boys were already in bed and Abby was on the couch doing homework.

Tired from his long day, Adam tried to head upstairs, but Abby convinced him to hang out for a little while first. And hilarity ensued when he plunked down next to her and rattled off a string of random comments in the BearBear voice while she tried to study.

I love watching them interact, even when --and in some cases, especially when-- those interactions are of the silly sort. Life is difficult and overwhelming in many ways, so I treasure the lighter moments when they come along, especially when they feature the people I love the most.

October 21

Tonight's Costco run was run-of-the-mill as far as Costco runs go... except for this:

Brady asked if he could push the cart and Adam said okay. And Isaac served as his guide. (And yep, it was definitely a case of the blind leading the blind.)

It was a touch terrifying and a touch entertaining to watch him navigating "obstacles", but it was also a wee bit satisfying because I genuinely enjoy seeing them try --and conquer-- new experiences. So yep, I'm thankful.

October 20

One of my (albeit numerous) complaints about where we live is the lack of actual, discernible seasons. And I especially miss Fall. So when I saw this tree during my walk with Adam this afternoon, I had to pause to admire it:

Mostly golden yellow and orange with a touch of red. It's not quite as vibrant as the ones I remember back home this time of year and it's just one as opposed to an entire hillside filled with rich color, but it was still nice to see. So for this very small blessing that jogged good memories from my past, I'm thankful.

October 19

Abby and I did as we usually do on regular old Saturdays: we went shopping. And our first stop was our usual first stop: Target. As we trolled the aisles, we came upon the Halloween section. Although we didn't buy this particular costume, I had her try it on anyway.

It may seem like a totally random thing to do, but Abby has a long-term, undying love of cheeseburgers. Adoration, really. So it amused me to see her dressed as one.

On a day that wasn't exactly a great one for me, this little moment --and that smile on my girl's face-- made me grin. And for those things, I'm grateful.

October 18

I'm not a morning person (at all, really. My brain doesn't wake up until I'm halfway through a cup of coffee and even then things are dicey in mouth-town until 10 or so). But there are advantages to getting up with the sun, like the post-high school drop-off view:

Beautiful brushstrokes in the sky. I stopped and looked at the scene for a moment before ducking back inside to prepare for drop-off rounds two and three, but the serenity of the image stayed with me for some time. And I'm thankful for those moments of repose amid the customary chaos.

October 17

They definitely fight like cats and dogs. Some days, it's more like Megatron versus the Decepticons. But this was them on the way home from school this afternoon:

They don't have to sit right next to each other, but they did, and when I turned around at a stoplight, they were engaged in a spirited --but surprisingly quiet-- game of thumb wars.

It was a sweet moment that made me smile. And I am thankful for it -- and for them.

October 16

I was so touched when my friend Christine posted this to my Facebook wall this afternoon:

Her daughter Annie is about 10 days older than Brady so we were pregnant with them at the same time, and they've gone through Sunday School together at church since they were born.

Anyway, Annie was charged with coming up with a series of similes for an assignment, and number three on her list is "Brady is like a brother to me." The statement hit me right in the feels. The sweetness of children is just... well, we could all learn from them. So thank you, Annie! And thank you, God, for Annie.

October 15

I think it's partly a function of experience and partly that of me just being me (and, well, human), but some days are definitely more draining than others. And when I say draining, I mean draining. And as I sit on my couch right now flipping through today's images on my phone, I realize that I didn't really take many; just a series of Brady being silly in the car while we waited for the others after school. So here's one of them:

I love this face. And I love Isaac's face and Abby's face. And Logan's face, even though I can only see his in pictures. But loving those faces doesn't mean that I don't have days when I just need to sit back and rest. Some days my body just screams "sit down! Close your eyes!" even as my mind says "I don't have time for that." But I need to make time for it, both so I can allow God to give me real, truly restorative rest, and also so I can be a better mom to these sweet faces of mine.

And you know something? You need rest, too. YOU, the person reading this right now. So make time for it, even if you're scared that doing so will put you so far behind on your to-do list that you'll never catch up. It'll be okay. Take the time. Be restored.

October 14

The boys decided they wanted to play foosball this afternoon, only we don't own a foosball table. So they made one.

My little duo gathered up cardboard boxes, disposable wooden chopsticks, a Big Gulp straw, glue, a Sharpie, and aluminum foil, and then got to work on their creation.

I love their ingenuity and how they so often work together to achieve goals. Brotherhood is a blessing.

October 13

Abby and I have weird nicknames for one another. Suffice it to say that it began back when she was in middle school and has persisted (with the names growing in both length and complexity of pronunciation) since then. And today, she left me a note on my pillow:

It's a very silly note, yes, but the message is a wonderful one that I was happy to read because I adore her, too.

Tell people you love that you love them because despite what you may think --and this may sound insane-- they may not know it. Or maybe they just need to hear it again. And you never know how much time anyone --including you-- has left to say (or hear) it.

October 12

With the traffic-gnarling pumpkin festival looming next weekend, we decided that today would be the day for our annual trip down to Pastorino's in Half Moon Bay. Here is this year's version of the Annual Pic, which is #16 in the series:

So we headed out at 10'ish this morning and --after a quick, facepalm-inducing run back home for someone who realized he'd forgotten to put on his shoes-- the journey began.

It was a quiet ride, and at one point along the way, Adam remarked that it was strange that no one was crying or complaining or playing the "how much longer?" card. I replied that I was glad that they'd matured enough to make the ride a quiet one, but he said he kind of missed the cacophony. And that made me think a bit.

Life is so much about phases and changes and seasons. And this annual tradition of ours makes that truth obvious. When I look back at this series of photos, I see kids added and I see them growing and changing and getting taller than me. And I see fashion senses changing and attitudes appearing and disappearing. I see life. And though I wish this life was less painful at times, I see beauty, because at its core, this life --with all of its twists and turns and heartaches and triumphs-- is just that: beautiful. And I am grateful.

October 11

When I dropped the boys off at baseball this afternoon, they walked away from the car blowing me kisses. I fumbled with my phone to take a pic and though this is a sub-par representation, it's what I've got.

I love Isaac and Brady and their goofy silliness. And I love that they have no inhibitions when it comes to saying I love you. Sweetness all around, I think, and for that healthy sprinkling of sugar, I'm thankful.

October 10

A week or so ago, Abby got in the car after school and announced, with a bemused expression on her face, that she was going to try to be nominated for sophomore Homecoming Princess. I was a bit surprised given that she'd already said she didn't want to go this year but figured "eh, why not?". So I reminded her that her value did not depend on whether or not she made the court and wished her luck.

Then this afternoon as she approached the car, I noticed she had a white carnation in hand. When she closed the door, she turned to me and announced that she had indeed been nominated to the court (along with nine other girls).

My first inclination was to laugh --since I could tell she was holding in an incredulous giggle of her own-- and I probably did snort, but I felt a surge of pride, too. And it wasn't because she was nominated for homecoming princess. That's nice and all, sure, but I'm proud that she decided she wanted something that's arguably way, way outside of her usual wheelhouse and went for it.

I didn't have the self-confidence to do that when I was her age and honestly, I still probably wouldn't be willing to put myself out there even now because I still struggle with fears of judgment and rejection. So today, I'm grateful for my girl's example of fearlessness because I can certainly learn from it moving forward.

October 9

Brady thought it would be fun to hide from Isaac while we waited for him after school today, so he crammed himself into the floor space of my car's front passenger seat. I have no idea why my children seem to enjoy doing that as much as they do, but clearly it amuses them and it doesn't hurt anyone so why not, I say.

So yes: although I am a professed, card-carrying creature of habit who likes her routines, today I'm thankful for the weird, unpredictable things my kids do now and then. They teach me much about flexibility (literally so in today's case) and looking at the lighter side of life. And better still, they make me smile.

October 8

So yeah, this is a picture I took of myself in a bathroom this morning.

I can count the number of times I've taken a selfie in a public restroom on one finger, and I only did it because a) I thought I looked cute, and b) there was a giant, full-length mirror right there in front of me. So there ya go.

So why on earth am I posting it? One reason is "I didn't take any other photos today." But the more salient reason is this: I don't exactly bleed self-confidence. I think a lot of us are probably secretly hard on ourselves, and I fully admit that I'm one of those people. But today, I felt good and valued and significant, and I'm thankful that I did because my head knows that that's just how God sees me. (My heart is still trying to get the message, but I'm working on it.) So here I am.

October 7

I popped into Walmart late this morning to buy some jam. (Since someone who shall remain nameless used up the last of the jam this weekend and didn't tell me, which made making peanut butter and jam sandwiches rather challenging this morning. But I digress as I so often do.) After I grabbed a new squeezie bottle of sticky grape stuff, this caught my eye:

Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli. One of the lunchtime staples of my childhood. My kids have never had it and I hadn't thought of it in years, so I snapped up a pop-top can, brought it home, and nuked it for lunch. It tasted like mushy canned pasta, of course, but it also tasted like summertime bike rides along The Python, ice cream at the pool, and internalizing how colorful lights on the Christmas tree made patterns on the ceiling above.

My palate is more sophisticated than it was back then, but I really enjoyed it. And more than that, I enjoyed the blessing that was recalling a happy slice of my childhood.

October 6

Our college pal Kristine had her first child on September 25, and today Adam and I finally got to visit them. (Ignore the old lady hair. I swear it's not that wiry in real life.)

Little miss Lily was a perfect angel while we took turns holding her and absorbing her newborn baby sweetness. And Kristine, although in the throes of new mom tiredness, looked good. And really, truly happy.

I love this for her. I love that she's getting to experience parenthood after thinking that it may not happen, and I love that she's in a really blessed place. So on this Sunday night, I'm grateful for all of the wonderful things that have happened for my friend this year. (And I'm also grateful that they live just across town so I can get my baby-holding fix whenever I want. ;)

October 5

Since it's Saturday, Abby and I did our usual Saturday afternoon thing. Once we finished shopping, it was off to my mother ship for some refreshments.

And of course, I took a pic as we were leaving to memorialize the pit stop. It wasn't that it was a special occasion; in fact, it was an incredibly ordinary one. But as I've said many (many) times before, most of life is lived in ordinary moments. And I want to remember as many of them as I can, especially when they're spent with some of my biggest blessings.

October 4

We were sitting around the family room eating dinner not long ago when I abruptly clued in to an unusual conversation the kids were having. Actually, it was less a conversation and more Abby trying to name NFL teams as the boys yea'd or nay'd her guesses.

What made it unusual is that Abby knows virtually nothing about sports. And I mean nada.

I have no idea how it got started, but they were having a genuinely good time playing their little game. And I genuinely enjoyed listening to them for a few minutes before the boys went off to bed for the night. They don't always get along, so when they do, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

October 3

I took exactly two photos today. One was a selfie I accidentally snapped while checking the positioning of my earring using my phone camera. This was the other.

I deliberately left early to pick up Brady this afternoon so I could take a short walk. At one point, I heard a mighty rustling followed by significant skittering. When I glanced over, I saw these two squirrels duking it out in the brush. I laughed, and they froze. I got a little closer and made a face at the one on the right, and he stared at me. I laughed again, and he wiggled his tail like he was about to charge me, but he didn't. So I took this pic.

Why? Because it was a funny, lighthearted moment, and I never seem to have enough of those in my life. So for this one, I'm thankful.

October 2

Sometimes it's hard to be a sports fan. (And believe me, I know. I grew up rooting for the Orioles.) Isaac got a hearty dose of baseball-induced agony after the A's lost tonight's Wild Card game to the Rays. Although I didn't like to see him sad (and, as per his norm, a wee bit hostile), I did like this:

When he hugged me good-night after the final out was recorded, I held on a little bit longer. I told him that it was okay; that though he loves baseball and loves the A's, only one team can win it all each year. And that they'd get to start over again in the Spring. And that, as a baseball fan, it's supposed to be fun.

Of course, given that Isaac is a player who's been on more than one team that's struggled to get it together on the diamond, he knows those things. But as I've noted before, repetition of truth doesn't hurt. And it's a blessing to me to be able to offer up comfort to others. And though I'm bummed that he's bummed, I'm grateful I had the opportunity to do that tonight.

October 1

I had a nice after-dinner walk with Adam this evening: just us in the (mostly) quiet talking about whatever came to mind. When we were just about home, this little dude joined us:

He just ran along beside us in the street, and then up the driveway. He finally stopped, turned, and continued his way down the street when I reminded him that he didn't live with us.

A light moment is always a good moment for me, especially when it involves a cute little furry thing.