August 31

I dropped the boys at their baseball clinic early this evening and then scooted over to Target to take a walk. (Because seriously, between COVID and all the smoke that's been in the air of late, I really do take laps around Tarjay.)

As I perused the aisles, I was super pleased to find this trio, so I happily scooped them up and headed to the checkout lane.

I guess it's kind of silly that I still collect these, given that Isaac and Brady aren't really interested, but they always make me think of Logan, so seeing new ones always makes me smile. 

And like I think I've probably said many times over the past several months, having things to smile about is a blessing.

August 30

We played cards after dinner tonight, which is something we've taken to doing a few nights a week. Look, here we are (mostly) smiling like a happy, card-playing family:

Tonight's game of choice was Class Struggle, which I played quite often during the long bus rides to and from Intermediate and High School. (I went to Magnet schools, so the rides could be a bit tedious at times.)

Anyway, certain members of this family of mine (who shall remain anonymous) don't like losing and found themselves on the losing end of the game more than once, so the smiles quickly faded and tempers flared. And then people scattered to their own respective corners, leaving Adam and I to do something we haven't had much of an opportunity to do of late: walk outside.

The air wasn't totally clear, but there was a nice breeze and it was blessedly quiet and drama-free, so I enjoyed our stroll quite a lot. So for the blessing of family time --even when it doesn't go quite as planned-- and for the implicit reminder that things don't have to be perfect to qualify as good and for those evening walks with my hunny, I am grateful.

August 29

It's been a very kick-back Saturday. Very. I looked outside at one point and saw Abby and Gracie sitting at the table in the yard chatting.

And as always, the sight made me smile, because their conversations are always animated and they always seem happy when they're together, sharing life.

And as always, I'm so grateful for that and for them and for their ongoing care for one another.

August 28

Kristine came over for coffee this morning and we had a nice time chatting, but other than that, today was very ho-hum. I went to the grocery store, prayed, took a nap, worked on my donut puzzle (which is kicking my patootie), ate, and that's about it. 

Then I walked through my kitchen a few minutes ago and saw this.

This is my desk at it currently appears: some old preschool photos, a picture Logan colored, Corvettes, a Car with a Face (as Logan called Pixar Cars), one of a set of our family picture coasters I had made earlier this year, and a cup filled with colorful Sharpie markers. And the sight made me realize a key truth: this life is a good one.

All of these things remind me of people who are important to me, so I get to think of people who make me smile every single time I walk by. So fro that not-small blessing, I'm thankful.

August 27

Adam and I had a lovely taste of "normal" this evening as we headed north with Isaac for a baseball scrimmage.

Adam's parents came down from Lafayette for the affair, and we enjoyed a beautiful, mostly smoke-free evening of baseball and light chit chat together.

Isaac's team came out on top --Isaac himself went 2 for 3 with either 3 or 4 RBI (it's hard to chat and pay rapt attention!)-- and that was a nice turn of events, but just being out there and having the chance to experience a bit of normalcy was a big blessing.

August 26

There were a few pleasant things about today. For one, after a few weeks off thanks to excessive heat and disgusting air quality, Isaac finally had baseball practice. And then just before bedtime, there was this:

Abby's virtual dance class takes place on Tuesday nights, so Isaac and Brady were banished to our room to watch the end of the A's game. When I tried to take their picture as they (and Slime, BearBear, and Chubbycorn) watched the action unfold, one (or both) of them looked at me and grinned every time. After five or six failed attempts, I shrugged, tried one last time, and wound up with this smiley effort. 

It wasn't exactly the image I was going for... but it's actually better. Isn't it funny how that happens sometimes? I think so.

August 25

It's Taco Tuesday, so it makes perfect sense that Brady --our very own Taco Monster-- was the last man sitting (standing?) at the dinner table tonight.

I love this cutie of mine and I appreciate his (albeit bizarre) affinity for tacos. Watching his utterly strange way of consuming them and the way he jumps up and heads to the island for more always makes me smile. And these days in particular, I'm always down for a good, predictable grin.

August 24

I was at the grocery store this afternoon and decided to stop by my old Mother Ship to grab an iced coffee. (I don't make it over there particularly often these days since our new house is just a hop, skip, and a jump from a different one.) One of my favorite baristas --Katie, who is super-duper friendly and positive-- was at the register, so we spent a few minutes chit-chatting before she got to work on my drink.

When I walked to the end of the bar to wait, I saw this, and though I've seen versions of this all over the place over time, it struck me as particularly true and particularly important in the now. We truly never know what someone else is experiencing, so being kind is essential.

Although I generally try to live that way, I was still thankful for the reminder of how truly important it is.

August 23

The family room curtains in the to-be rental house weren't looking the best, so we went to Lowe's this afternoon. Adam --who had been there yesterday surveying curtain rods-- directed me to the sample area so I could have a look. 

I glanced at what was available and immediately chose this one. 

Note the name: Logan.

I didn't notice what I'd done until Adam pointed it out, but I smiled when he did. 

I love it when that kid pops up out of nowhere like that. It makes a so-so kind of day infinitely better.

August 22

As 2020 continues to suck, I continue to look for pretty, pleasant things. Some days those lovely notables can be hard to find and today was kinda-sorta one of those days, but the sunset tonight wound up being quite nice, I think. So here it is.

And I do indeed have a thought to accompany the image: even when it's storming where you are (either literally or figuratively), there's always a lovely, soul-calming sunset happening somewhere.

August 21

 This unexpected gift arrived in the mail today with no note.

It's kind of hard to see because my granite is so mottled (and there's still some protective plastic on it), but the large disc at the bottom reads "you are my sunshine." So I know it's a Logan-inspired gesture.

Like I said, I don't know who sent it, but it means so much to me to know that Logan's legacy continues to live on, even though he's been gone for 8 1/2 years now. 

Given that one of my biggest fears was that he'd be forgotten, things like this are a big blessing to me. So thank you, mystery person. :)

August 20

I had to venture out this afternoon to buy some ant baits (because the 100+ degree heat combined with the disgusting smokey air drove them inside the house. Big facepalm there). It was BOGO day at the Mother Ship, so I swung by with my newly acquired bug killer on the way home and got a pair of treats: one for me and one for the not-short people to share. (A vanilla frapp. I'm not crazy enough to give them caffeine.)

So they sat down together at the kitchen table and contentedly slurped down their thirds of frapp. 

It was a pleasant moment. It was a peaceful moment. And it was a moment that let me forget that I had a bunch of ants to murder.

So for the good times when my kiddos sit together and enjoy each other's company and for tasty distractions, I'm thankful.

August 19

It's not a secret that I like donuts. I haven't had many of late --just the trio I bought at Dunkin back in MD a few weeks ago-- but I'm a fan. And since puzzles have been part of my shelter-in-place repertoire, I'd been wanting a donut-themed puzzle. 

And today, after a few months of checking the shelves during every trip to Walmart, Target, Michaels, and Hobby Lobby, Target finally delivered. 

I was verging on embarrassingly happy as I half-skipped toward self-checkout with my vibrantly colored prize clutched to my chest, but I've decided that that's okay, because we could all use more joy.

So for that unexpected jolt of happiness, I'm grateful.

August 18

Aphids munched on my beans and my peas have passed their prime, but the bell peppers are still going strong. Three of my plants are contentedly developing utterly non-surprising green fruit, but the fourth... the offspring of the fourth has been a bit more interesting than I'd expected.

Although these two were very briefly green like their neighboring pepper compadres, they very quickly turned black. At first I thought there was something wrong since the others didn't go through this phase. But they're not squishy and they keep growing, so apparently they're just different. I had no idea that black bell peppers were a thing, but I guess they are. (Or who knows; maybe I'll go outside tomorrow and they'll be turning red.)

So what's my point? I think many times, we go into situations feeling like we know what will happen. Predictability can be comforting, after all, especially when so much about the world right now is so deeply unsettling. But sometimes (and I'd even say "often" of late) things don't as anticipated and we have to adjust our thinking to make it through; we have to embrace what's different and let go of what we thought would be. 

So although my strange peppers confuse me a bit, I'm grateful that I get to watch them grow. And I'm excited to see what they become when they're ready to be picked.

August 17

Today is our 18th wedding anniversary. When I started my day, I found a lovely card, a Mother Ship coffee, flowers, Peanut Butter Cups, and three Cadbury bars in the perfect trio of flavors waiting for me at my place at the table. 

Since it was over 100 degrees out yet again and the skies were filled with smoke from nearby(ish) wildfires, we opted to enjoy our celebratory dinner indoors. So we lingered over our Cheesecake Factory entrees --cajun pasta for him, shepherd's pie for me-- in the dining room while the kiddos gnoshed on Little Caesar's pizza in the kitchen.

There are many ways that the past 18 years have broken my heart (see yesterday's entry for an example), but there are also many ways that they haven't. In Adam, I'm blessed with a life partner who is consistent, kind, loving, and who --quite honestly-- treats me far, far better than I deserve. And though I often fail in my quest, he makes me want to do better. To be better.

So for him and for us and for these 18 years that have simultaneously crawled and flown by at warp speed, I am grateful.

August 16

I haven't talked about it, but this weekend marked a noteworthy anniversary: 10 years ago today (by calendar, yesterday by date), we were eating dinner at the table in the informal dining area at our old house. I still felt young back then: I was 32 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with Brady, who we'd just learned was another boy; Abby was five; Logan had just turned four a few weeks earlier; and Isaac was two. Anyway, Logan was horsing around like he so often did when his eye inexplicably turned inward. The life of our family was forever altered, in the literal blink of an eye, and a breath-seizing cloak of panic blanketed my heart.

So it felt appropriate that today day began with a spectacular show of atmospheric unrest that gave life to how I felt on that day in 2010 (and on many, many days that followed). The fear, the anger, the confusion, the exhaustion, all played out in the form of deafening thunder and driving rain and lightning strikes and a powerful wind that whipped the trees around like rag dolls. It felt angry and mournful. It felt scary. And it felt overwhelming. 

Although the storm raged for hours, it eventually stopped. The wind stopped, and the rain stopped, and the clouds cleared, revealing blue sky overhead. And peace was restored.

And it was impossible for me to not draw parallels, especially on this day. Those seconds and minutes and hours and days and months after Logan's diagnosis broke me into pieces. Just thinking about that time in my life takes my breath away and raises my blood pressure. And after he died, I felt like some of those fragments of me were so destroyed, so utterly pulverized, that I'd never be me ever again. Or at least not the me I'd always known.

And of course, I was right, in a way. I'm not who I was back then and I doubt I ever will be. But now, 10 years later, I can say something for sure: I have a Savior who gathered up all of those pieces --even the ones that were so tiny that I forgot they existed-- and put me back together again. He quieted the storm and restored peace in my life. I'm far from perfect (ask my closest friends and family) and I miss my Sunshine every single day and some days the storm still rages in my heart and my mind, but I am as whole as it's possible for me to be. And given that the me of exactly 10 years ago today wondered if that would ever be the case again, I am thankful for what is.

August 15

It was hot outside. Again. So when Brady suggested we fire up the shave ice machine for dessert, no one argued.

We weren't outside particularly long (because again, hot, hot, hot and the sun was still doing its heating-thing in aggressive fashion), but it was nice to be out there by the pool enjoying our treats together.

Simplicity can be a blessing. 

August 14

It was H-O-T out today. Hot. The highest temp that my car registered as I was out and about (because since Murphy's Law is apparently an Actual Thing, Brady and Abby had material pick-ups at their respective schools and I'd arranged to meet with a rental broker over at our other house and we needed to do grocery shopping) was 107 degrees, which is high on the Yuck Scale for me, just above "Ugh" and slightly below "Oof." But this was a pleasant moment for me.

After they'd wrapped up their school sessions and confirmed that their assignments were done, Isaac and Brady asked if they could swim. And naturally I said yes. So upstairs they went to change and outside they went to the pool.

I peeked out the family room windows at them periodically to make sure neither of them was attempting to do anything stupid (which, again, is a potential Thing because they're 9 and 12 year old boys). All was clear, but I poked my head outside to check in with them anyway (and to ask Brady why on earth he was sitting at the top of the waterfall. Answer: he was letting the water build up so it would make a really big waterfall. I was skeptical, but surprise, surprise, it actually did work. Go figure). 

Anyhow, Isaac excitedly told me to watch, and then --with a measure of glee that I wish I could muster on a daily basis-- used his arms to push forth an impressive splash. He laughed and did it again, several times over. 

I love that these boys of mine still find joy in the simplest of things: blocking a waterfall to make a mega waterfall, splashing in water, racing each other from one end of the pool to the other. I wish we all did.

August 13

 My kids are weird. And most days, this is our Grand Poohbah of Weird. (Save BearBear some days. Some days BearBear definitely attains Poobah status.)

I was sitting at the kitchen table FaceTiming a good friend this morning, and this is what Brady did when he entered the room in search of a break-time snack: he got down into a squatting position, and crab walked his way back and forth, back and forth from the pantry (which is over the to the left) to the family room (to the right) over and over again. It was bizarre.

But it was also totally Brady, so I laughed aloud and asked him what on earth he was doing. He straightened up, smiled his goofiest smile and shrugged, and then crab walked his way back toward the stairs so he could get "back to class."

Yep, he's weird. But I'm grateful that he so often makes me laugh, because there's just not enough laughter in this world these days.

August 12

Adam and I were taking a late-evening walk when I paused to exchange pleasantries with a neighbor. She was in her front yard diligently snipping past-due blooms from a rose bush. I told her how lovely they still looked, and she responded with a kindly thank you. I jokingly asked if she wanted to come trim the expired flowers from the two bushes in our front yard, and she immediately said she was up to it and asked for our address. Before I could reply, she quickly offered up some squash from her garden. Would I like some? No, I was definitely taking some. She would leave them on my porch. Done. I walked away, gratified and a little amused by the conversation.

And I was genuinely surprised when, an hour or so later, well after darkness had set in, there was a loud knock at the front door. I opened it and found her standing there with her pooch, this sweet bouquet of flowers, and some garden goodies -- squash, garlic (so much yum!) and a tomato (not pictured because it was a little bit squished, but it'll still be great with my homegrown basil and some mozzarella!). It was a very kind gesture, given that we don't know one another all that well.

But I do know one thing about her: she recently lost her husband. And I think that it's amazing that even amid what must be terrible grief, she's doing totally sweet things like this for people she hardly even knows. It just goes to show you that there's never a good excuse for not being good to someone else. And even during hard times, we can still spread sunshine.

So for those reminders and for Nancy's very sweet gift, I'm grateful.

August 11

The kiddos began their 2020-21 school year today: Abby is a junior, Isaac is in seventh grade, and Brady, fourth. So of course, I did as I've done every year since Abby started preschool and took the traditional front door photos. They're different since we moved, but the idea's the same. And I do love continuity.

The first image is of the usual "stand there and smile" variety, and the second is the result of Adam shouting out "act like how you really feel about starting school today." So there ya go.

The first day of school is always something of a day of reflection for me, and today was no different. I was truly surprised to realize just how much Isaac grew over the summer (in sum: a LOT) and while I took these images I silently wondered where Logan would fall in the height-order. Would he and Isaac be almost the same size? Would he be taller? I don't know. And then a little later, as I scrolled my Facebook feed, I saw a succession of smiling kids beginning their high school years... and wished --as I've wished many times before-- that things could be different.

But in spite of that sadness, I'm thankful that Abby is a junior and Isaac is a seventh grader and Brady is a fourth grader. I'm thankful for the moments with them and for the times when they remind me of their brother. (I'm not exactly thankful for 100% distance learning, but I'm working on it.) And I'm thankful for this life, even when it's far less perfect than I'd like it to be.

August 10

After the longest summer vacation ever, the kids head "back" to school tomorrow: Brady to fourth grade, Isaac to seventh, and Abby to 11th -- the all-important (as she keeps reminding us) junior year of high school. Although the whole remote learning experience will be a new one for everyone, I experienced my own "new thing" this morning when I picked up Brady's fourth grade goodies from his brand new school.

It's hard to believe that I spent 11 years at his old school, but I did. Abby and Isaac both completed their entire elementary careers there, and I fully expected that Brady would, too. 

But then things changed; the PTA experience went from a good thing to a very bad one in the blink of an eye. I wanted to escape last year, but I loved the third grade teachers there and didn't want to miss out on Brady having one of them. And so we stayed.

And then the new house thing happened and the moving thing happened, which opened the door to the let's just transfer him to his neighborhood school thing. So that's what we did and that's where I was this morning, picking up his things. 

I know he's nervous about starting over in a new place with a teacher he's never seen and kids he doesn't know, but I'm hopeful that this will be a very good thing for him. And a long-awaited chance for healing for me. So all worries and concerns aside, I am thankful for the opportunity to begin anew.

August 9

Adam and I got up early this morning and headed north to watch Isaac get his baseball on.

The scrimmage was briefly in peril when a couple of Danville Karens complained that a game was being played, but the police officer who responded made a few helpful suggestions --and the coaches complied-- so they were allowed to continue.

After a whopping three hours of action, the Spartans (which is Isaac's team) and the Dawgs finished the effort in a tie. 

Isaac loves baseball, so it was a blessing to be able to see him in action, hitting and running (he's the blue-shirted, red-helmeted runner near second base) and fielding his way through the innings. 

August 8

I began the day in Maryland and am heading off to bed back in California.

After issuing good-byes to Reaya, Brendan, and my mom (Brianna said her farewell last night), Bobby kindly shuttled me to the airport and saw me off at the curb at about 8 this morning. 

When my plane touched down in Oakland about five and a half hours later, Adam met me in front of the terminal with a liquid treat from the Mother Ship waiting for me in the cup holder. (Does he know me or what?!) 

I didn't even make it up the stairs from the garage before Brady and Isaac greeted me with hugs. (Abby greeted me with a "hi" followed by "does Brianna have COVID?" Yeah. That's my sweet germaphobe.)

From there I had a low key afternoon followed by dinner, and then shave ice on the patio. I ventured inside to throw out my cup at one point and saw my people outside the dining room window and the sight made me smile.

It's frustrating living a bicoastal life at times because I can't always be where I'm needed, but as I think I've observed before, it's a blessing to love people in lots of different places -- and a gift to be loved back. 

So for all of that --and for my trip and for being home again-- I'm grateful.

August 7

I got up late this morning, had some coffee (and this time I didn't have to battle the coffee maker since Bobby and Reaya are back), chit-chatted with Bobby a bit about our mutual interests (namely die-cast cards), and then drove mom back over to Baltimore for an appointment.

It didn't make much sense for me to drive back to Bobby's after drop-off nor did the weather want me to do any city exploration (it poured for a spell), so I sat in the car in a nearby Burger King's parking lot. After I ate a Whopper Junior, I stared at a bug on the windshield, texted some friends, tried to make a few calls, read some of a book on my Kindle, and then resorted to making faces at myself. Glorious, right? Glorious.

After we got back, we had Ledo pizza for dinner. (Yum.) And now... TV time. 

There was really nothing remarkable about today at all, but it was calm and generally uneventful and good enough. And I am thankful for "good enough."

August 6

Today. Today, today. It was a very low-key, mellow day.

I got up later than I want to admit and successfully failed at operating Bobby's coffee maker. (It was tragic. I managed to get it to spit out about half a cuppa joe, but that was it.) I sat with mom for a little while as she ate her omelet and orange slices, and then we watched TV.

Bobby et al returned from their trip at about 1, and that's when I learned that my poor niece wasn't feeling particularly well. She was whisked off to her room and --later on-- to the doctor for a check. Not sure what's going on there yet, but crossing everything and praying that it's just a summer cold. (Oh, and the top picture is me sneaking a pic of camera-avoidant 16-year old Brendan, who was working on the puzzle mom and I started.)

While they all unpacked and relished being home, mom and I went for ice cream (red raspberry with rainbow jimmies for me this time -- good, good, good -- and twist with way too many chocolate jimmies for her), and then over for a socially distanced visit with my grandma (who had told me that I wasn't allowed to leave until I came to see her. The bottom photo actually includes all three of us: if you look hard, you can see grandma through the open window. She's sitting on her golf cart and wearing a green top.) 

Anyway, that's about it for today. Nothing super exciting, but mostly good nonetheless. And I'm always grateful for the good.

August 5

I think I've mentioned this factoid before but I am not a morning person, so getting up at 5:30 to take my mom to Baltimore for her next round of chemo was a bit of a shock to my system. But I persevered: we began with a run through the Mother Ship drive thru (duh, like I'd drive a 70-mile round trip at 6 AM without caffeine) and I got her there right on time.

As we passed by Camden Yards and along a succession of streets, I remembered how beautiful Charm City can be. And I felt a sense of gratitude.

I spent most of the rest of the day at Bobby's house napping (because 5:30 AM) and watching old game shows on Buzzr. 

Then this evening, after mom's friend dropped her off post-treatment, I ordered and picked up dinner from the Hornet's Nest. While I walked along main street, I noted that though a lot has changed in this town over time, it still felt much like it always did. And again, I felt a sense of gratitude, this time for nostalgia.

Fortunately Mom --who looked pale and said she was very tired when she got back-- felt better after eating, so we decided to work on a 1,000-piece puzzle. She's still sitting at the table next to me wrestling with the tiny little pieces. I'm... taking a break. (Mostly because there's one single piece of border that we can't find and it's making me nuts.)

All in all, it was a pleasant enough day. And I'm thankful for the hours.

August 4

It was, in sum, a lovely sort of day. It started with my very first (and decidedly rain-soaked) trip to the new Damascus Mother Ship and a quick hop, skip, and jump through Dunkin Donuts (because there were more flavors I needed to sample while I'm here). 

Then it was off to Target to pick up some groceries my mom requested, and back to the house (where I nibbled on morning donut number two --a tasty apple filled number-- for "lunch"). 

At 2, I headed out to meet up with Gretchen, who is one of my very oldest friends. (We go all the way back to the first grade.) By then the rain was over and the sun was out in full force so I sustained a significant sunburn on my shorts-wearing legs, but the conversation was well-worth the burn. She's an amazing, brave, kick-butt gal and I'm super proud of her for executing some pretty serious changes in her life of late. I hope she keeps on remembering her awesomeness!

Then I went back to the house for a few hours before heading over to my mom's to bring her back to Bobby's for the rest of the week. I spent the latter part of my childhood in that house and I haven't been here during the summer months in quite some time, so I was amazed by the size of some of the trees along the road. Although I'm sure it's a lot of work to keep them maintained, it's beautiful, and I took note. 

So that's where we are now. Today, I'm grateful for time with kick-butt women --like Gretchen and my mom-- and I'm hopeful that getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow won't be too hard on my night owl self.

August 3

I got up later than I will admit this morning (at least it was still technically "morning") and scooted off to Dunkin Donuts, which is yet another establishment that we don't really have nearby in CA. I ordered a chocolate glazed donut (and then immediately wished I could also have a strawberry glazed one and an apple one because, well, donuts) and also cheated on the Mother Ship by getting a coffee. (I know. I still feel bad.)

I had a little back and forth exchange with Eileen, a friend from my junior high days, enjoyed some down time, and then I went out in search of Jerry's Subs. That mission failed miserably, but I changed course and got myself a small Ledo pizza for late lunch/early dinner instead. (And Utz crab potato chips, since my aim was to become a regional Food Stereotype. So Utz. And crab.) 

And then at around 5 PM, I headed back over to Jimmie Cone, where I met up with Eileen and her two cuties for some ice cream and a very quick, very rainy catch-up. (It was like a monsoon was rolling through. Given that there's a Tropical Storm warning in place tonight that shouldn't surprise me, but since it doesn't rain at all in Northern CA during the summer, it was rather shocking.) I hadn't planned to see many people while I was here, but the timing lined up perfectly and I was happy to have the chance to talk with her a bit (and to finally meet Casey and Miles, too). 

So tonight, I'm thankful for the gift of unexpected meet-ups and for the ability to taste (and re-taste) foods that I can't usually get ahold of. Small things, but big blessings!

August 2

Bobby, Reaya, Brendan, and Brianna headed out late-morning on their vacation, so I had most of the day to myself. Completely and entirely to myself. The hours that have passed since their departure have confirmed a few things I already kinda-sorta knew. 

1) I find the initial hour of solitude intoxicating. I drove to the Mother Ship and Target and Walmart and did a little bit of light shopping and loved it. Rolled-down-the-windows-and-shouted-along-to-the-radio loved it. It almost made up for not having a like-first day of school occurrence to look forward to on the calendar. 

2) Jimmie Cone is still delicious. Childhood institution visited: check. A twist cone with chocolate jimmies (or "sprinkles" for all you non-initiated folks) seemed like a great idea for lunch. So that's what I did at around 2. I even walked around the block while I licked my rapidly-melting cone. And I didn't even mind the sticky chocolateness that trickled between my fingers. (And just for you, BearBear, note the ya van in the background. You're welcome.)

3) I still like driving on country roads. I took a post-ice cream detour through my old-old neighborhood, just to see how it would feel. (Verdict: none yet.) 

4) I still like Roy Rogers. I decided that I'd try to get food that I can't get back in California while I'm here, and tonight's pick was Roy's. Huge roast beef sandwich plus giant, overfilled box of fries: check. 

5) My niece and her hamster are amazingly well-matched. 

And finally, 6) I am an extrovert. (Don't laugh.) I've always been a middle-of-the-roader when it comes to personality, but being alone for a day has confirmed that I like being around people. I like talking (chit-chat is okay but deeper stuff is my bread and butter). I like listening. I like engaging. I like having others around. So I spent some extra time praying. 

So there ya go: my day. As I turn off my laptop and find something else to focus on, I feel a sense of gratitude for increased self-awareness. And for all of you.

August 1

I began my day in California and am ending it in Maryland. Here's a visual representation of said reality, as my kiddos gathered to say farewell and my brother Bobby welcomed me by trying to shove a finger up my nose (in jest. We're not teenagers anymore, after all):

My brother and his family have vacation plans this coming week, so I came back east to help my mom. 

It was a long, long day. The flight was uneventful (save the 18-month old in front of me who screamed bloody murder 80% of the time, but hey, I've been there). My sister-in-law picked me up in great time, I heard about my niece's plans to redecorate her room (and was given a primer on taking care of Hampton the hamster whose name I am mentioning solely so I won't forget it), and had a long chat with Bobby. 

And now it's very, very late and I'm beyond the point of tiredness, so I'm trying to turn in, but not before I express gratitude to my brother for letting me use his house, and to God for a nice, long flight that gave me lots of time to myself and lots of time to reflect and read and listen to music and pray for lots of different things.