October 31

It was definitely a different kind of Halloween --which is no surprise since a) we moved this year and b) COVID-- but it was fun nonetheless.

We carved pumpkins, had dinner, and then got ready for the evening's festivities. And of course, there were photos to commemorate the day, featuring the Scarlet Witch (also known as Wanda) from the Marvel Universe, Pluto, and Goofy. (And me with sequined Minnie Mouse ears and Adam as Pietro, who is Wanda's brother. And Lambie as Lambie, of course.) 

Anyway, rather than trick-or-treating, we pulled out our lawn chairs, put out tables of candy bars and treat bags, and convened in the cul de sac just down from our house for a neighborhood viewing of ET. 

We were all sitting social distance-style, but I loved the sense of community. This is truly a great place to live, and I'm so thankful that we landed here.

October 30

The elementary school costume parade was a bit different this year. At around 10:50 AM, I called Brady --who opted to be Goofy this year-- downstairs and we headed over in my car. (Kristine was over for our usual coffee-and-crochet get-together since I'd forgotten about said-event so Abby --who happened to be between classes-- spent some time chit-chatting with her in my absence.)

Anyhow, I let my little Goofy sit in the front seat for the first time ever for the ride. We drove by the school and he got to wave at his teacher, who saw him and waved back. (It was, for the record, the first time they'd ever seen each other in person. Weird school year indeed.)

It's definitely a weird year. But I'm grateful to the school for trying to include some "normal" events for the kiddos to enjoy. Those moments of fun familiarity are, I think, extra important amid the insanity.

October 29

I was getting ready to take this beautiful girl of mine over to her school to take the oft-dreaded annual picture this afternoon (for her ID card and the yearbook) when I had a realization. 

She's a junior and senior pictures are taken off-site and via appointment, so this was her last traditional "school picture day." The thought made me literally stop in my tracks for a split second. 

When my mind started working again, my memory provided flashes from photo days past. Her first picture day was back in preschool; I still remember the blue background and the little pink and brown dotted dress she wore and how her hair was still curly without the aid of a curling wand.

There have been hits and misses over the years, as is so often the case with school pictures. There was the year that her friend handed out barrettes to all the girls shortly before photo-time; Abby placed hers in a totally conspicuous place on her head that made me do a literal facepalm when I saw the prints. There was the year she was literally damp with sweat because she'd just had PE class and the thought of staying pretty and neat for photos didn't cross her mind because there was running to be done and games to be played.

Funny thing is, I never once did a re-take. I love that succession of photos that chronicles her childhood and I wouldn't trade them for all the perfect shots in the world. Those little flaws and goofy moments are everything to me now.

As she stands on the threshold of her 16th birthday --which is next week!-- I'm so proud of who she was, who she is, and who she's becoming. 

October 28

It's Halloween week at dance. (Duh.) Usually that means going into the classroom 15 minutes before the end of class so the students can perform for us, but that's obviously not on the menu this year. (Darn you, COVID. Darn you, 2020.)

Instead, Abby did an acapella version of her musical theater number --set to an "Addams Family" tune-- in the family room for Adam and me after her class ended this evening.

So she did her thang, Adam recorded her, I snapped a few pics. It's not exactly the usual, but it was still a moment. And I am grateful.

October 27

Isaac had another scrimmage this evening. It was a fun enough game to watch; it was a lovely day, and the teams were reasonably well-matched and had comparable abilities overall.

In the end, the Spartans wound up losing in the bottom half of the final inning, and I braced myself for a long ride home with a bummed pre-teen because, well, Isaac can be quite critical of his own performance. So I watched him emerge from the dugout and head in our direction. And as he got close enough to hear me, I asked if he'd had fun. And waited for the answer.

And much to my surprise, he responded with a cheerful "yeah." Then he laid down in the grass (which, to its credit, was quite lush and carpet-like) and closed his eyes and remarked about how soft it was. And I released a breath. So today, I'm thankful for pleasant surprises. And for maturity. Because after all, there will be more scrimmages and games for this boy of mine. And I'm glad that he realizes that truth.

October 26

I stood at the railing above the family room for a little while this evening just watching my family below.

The Monday Night Football game provided background noise on the TV. Abby was on the floor next to Adam seeking help with her Physics homework. And Brady and Isaac sat together on the other couch playing video games. 

It was just another evening at Casablanca. And even though it was a regular old kind of evening, I am grateful for it.

October 25

A sweet friend recently sent me a pattern for a shawl so I decided to try my hand at making one. With the upcoming Christmas season in sight, I chose a sparkly maroon'ish yarn and got to work a few days ago.

I still have work to do, but this is my progress as of this moment. I don't spend a lot of time patting myself on the back, but I'm proud of it so far and I'm looking forward to finishing it up and trying it on. (And hopefully it fits, because I made a wee modification to the pattern!)

Anyway, as I looked it over earlier this evening, I had an observation I thought I'd share. It amazes me that a week ago, this almost-shawl was two skeins of yarn tucked into the top drawer in my dresser; that two lengths of yarn were stitched into something cohesive and useful. I think people can be like that, too: God takes us as we are and shapes us into amazing new things. 

For me, it's kind of nice to think that I can be made into something useful, especially on days when I feel like I'm just a raggedly old ball of yarn.

October 24

While Abby and I were out shopping this afternoon, Adam texted to tell me that if I parked my car in the driveway when we got home, he'd wash it for me.

And he did just that. I watched from our bedroom window as he washed it from bumper to bumper. Even the roof, which I usually clean haphazardly because I'm a wee bit too short to reach all the way across.

A sweet act of simple but much-appreciated (because let me tell you, my poor car was dir-tee) service by my hunny. That's a blessing indeed.

October 23

After being diagnosed with cancer back in March and undergoing months of treatment, my mom had her last round of chemo this week. Although we never really know what's around the corner, we're hopeful that her scans will be and will remain clear from here on out, and my sister-in-law thought it would be nice to celebrate the milestone with a FaceTime call. So that's what we did this evening.

My mom will no doubt not love this picture, but it's the only one I quickly snapped during the call (and I think she looks fine. And for the record, Isaac and Brady are in the upper right-hand corner). We were all eating dinner as we chatted and though the call was relatively short, it was nice to "connect" in a face-to-face kind of way.

I know it's been a tough year for her, but I'm grateful that she's finished her treatment protocol and can now look toward the future. And I'm grateful to and for my brother and his family, who --as they live in the same area as my mom-- have devoted so much time to supporting her as she's gone through her protocol.

And now... onward.

October 22

The very first entry in this blog --which was written more than seven years ago-- featured this same item. I kept it on the kitchen counter at our old house, and now it lives in the punch out window in the kitchen at our new house.

As I rinsed a dish this morning, I looked up and noticed how my Fall bean seedlings have grown up and entwined their little arms around the word. There was something interestingly calming about the sight and about the implied message that life literally grows and expands on hope. With hope.

It's not only a lovely thought, but it's also a true one. So much of the happiness we experience during this life is based on our ability to have faith and to hope for better. 

And for that reminder, I'm grateful.

October 21

Isaac's been playing baseball for months now with his tournament team, but today was Brady's first day back on the field since the Little League Season was canceled back in March.

I took a short walk and then returned to watch the boys practice. I sat there on the bleachers and crocheted while I observed, and was happy to see that though he's not played much (aside from the occasional class at the baseball clinic), he can still throw and hit well. In fact, in his second at bat during a quick scrimmage, he sent a ball sailing into the outfield.

If nothing else, I'm grateful that Brady now has something to do other than do homework and play video games. I'm grateful that he's able to interact with others (even if it's not exactly like it's been in the past). And I'm grateful for this bit of visible progress toward whatever the new, post-COVID "normal" will be.

October 20

Abby, Isaac, and Brady sat together on the couch like this after dinner tonight. On purpose.

Initially just Abby and Brady were together. I saw them and immediately retrieved my phone so I could take a pic (as I accused Abby of baiting me with a display of sibling sweetness. She didn't deny it directly.) Then Isaac joined them after he finished his shower.

I so love it when they love on each other. That will always, always be a blessing to me.

October 19

I found this (and a few others of the same ilk) at Safeway recently.

I put it on the kitchen desk when I got home and stopped to look at it this afternoon as I walked through.

It's probably a little bit silly that I still collect these. After all, Logan was my only kid who was ever really into Cars and he's been gone for more than eight years now. But I'm fine with the silliness of it all because I love how they make me feel. Just looking at their faces takes me back to the days when he walked among us and made goofy faces and did silly dances.

And as far as I'm concerned, a little bit of silly can make life a whole lot more palatable.

October 18

Today was Pumpkin Day. 

We've driven down to Pastorinos Pumpkin Farm in Half Moon Bay every year since the year before I was super-duper pregnant with Abby, so it's a family tradition that I really value. Today's trip was a pleasant one; the boys played a video game in the back seat, Abby alternately listened to her own music and the Pandora 90's mix that Adam and I enjoyed, and I crocheted. (We won't talk about how many rows I had to rip out because of pattern goofs. Ugh!) It was a predictably slow but pleasant trip, and in my head --and sometimes aloud-- I remembered journeys of the past that featured car seats and sippy cups and flame-outs and meltdowns and tears. And silliness and crazy sing-alongs to Taylor Swift. This trip... yep, this one was mostly peaceful and mostly quiet.

Anyway, the kiddos and I take the same picture every single year (so yep, there are 17 of these puppies so far, beginning with an extremely pregnant me standing solo back in 2004), and here is one of this year's iterations. (There is, for the record, a masked version as well as a sort of Sign Of The Times. I'm using this one because I like to see their faces.)

I adore these pictures and I look forward to adding a new one to the series each year. I adore seeing how much my kids have grown from one year to the next (like Isaac there next to me... hello!). And I adore the predictability of this time of special seasonal togetherness.

So yes, it was a blessed day. We rode together and hung out together and picked out pumpkins together and took our usual photos together. And every bit of it was good.

October 17

My allergies have been terrible of late which stinks in many, many ways. (For example, I really enjoy being able to breathe freely.) But on the bright side, I've rediscovered tea.

And I have to say that Teavana Peach Tranquility is absolutely yummy. So although I'd kinda sorta prefer being able to inhale and exhale through my nose, I'm grateful for warm, tasty drinks that are strong enough that I can actually taste them.

October 16

I've lived in California for more than 20 years now, so chances are good that I will never get used to the fact that we don't have traditional seasons. When I was a kid, "Fall" meant flannel shirts and jeans and hay rides and pumpkin patches and colored leaves. Now, "Fall" means "well, it might be cool. But it also might be 90 degrees out. Flip a coin."

So in lieu of lamenting the absence of my favorite season, I joined my peeps on the patio after dinner (on this 90-degree mid-October evening) for some shave ice.

Shave ice is pretty much good on any not-cold day (and honestly, I haven't tested the theory recently, but given my experience with my Snoopy Sno-Cone maker way-back-when, I bet it's pretty good on cold, traditionally winter-y days, too). So although I could do without the October heat, I'm thankful for what is.

October 15

Isaac had another scrimmage this afternoon in Danville. It wound up being something of a drubbing, as his team beat the other 19 to 4 or 5. (No one was really keeping score.) For his part, Isaac went 2 for 4 with a run scored and a few RBI. All in all a good effort for all of the Spartans.

During the post-game huddle, his coach handed out their jerseys -- one home, one away. We'd ordered them a few months back so it was exciting to finally have them in-hand. As we drove away from the field, Isaac excitedly talked about them and about which shirt is which.

I know I've said what I'm going to say a lot of late, but with COVID continuing to drag on (and on and on and on...), my little immediate family gets almost all of my attention so it makes sense: I'm so glad that he has baseball and that it makes him smile like it does. When isolation is the norm, it's so important to have activities that bring (and breed) joy.

October 14

So, this is what dance class looks like this year for Abby.

Yep, via Zoom. And yep, I caught her just as she was beginning the always-dreaded ab workout portion of her weekly program. 

Although taking class in our family room is not exactly an ideal circumstance and I'm bummed that she's missing out on the usual high school upperclassman "stuff", I'm thankful that she can still take dance right now.

October 13

I had a strange moment this afternoon. I went up to the boys' rooms to tell Isaac that his baseball game had been postponed. As I stood there next to him, I was suddenly keenly aware of just how much he's grown this year. He's not a scary kid at all, but it was overwhelming to realize that he will definitely be taller than me much sooner than I'd imagined.

The thought came to me again this evening when, after he arrived home from Youth Group, he sat at the kitchen table next to me and wolfed down a slice of pizza in about three bites and downed a very full cup of milk. He finished the entire "meal" in about two minutes flat. (And he made a goofy face when he noticed I was trying to sneak a pic, so here it is.)

I'm just so thankful that he and Abby and Brady are alive and still growing every day, even if their consistent growth does take me by surprise (and make me feel both old and short) some days.

October 12

I hadn't had Kristine over for coffee since the end of August, so after a series of cancellations driven by numerous causes on both sides, I was happy to see her this morning.

One of the worst things about COVID for me is missing out on interactions with friends -- especially my good friends. There's really nothing quite like plunking down with a cup of coffee or tea, a baked good, and a friend I know I can always count on to listen (and talk!).

Friends are wonderful blessings, and I'm absolutely thankful for mine. And for time spent sharing life with them.

October 11

Isaac had two more baseball games today and fortunately, I felt well enough this morning to go watch the action unfold in person. 

At one point during one of the games, Isaac (to the left in white pants and dark socks, positioned like a flamingo) and his teammate Conner ran out to their respective places in left and center field. Neither had a ball to use for warm-up tosses, so they improvised and pretended to play catch with each other. The act went on for quite a number of "throws," and I was definitely chuckling by the time the inning began in earnest.

I love that my boy loves playing so much. And I'm thankful that I felt good enough to watch him do what he loves today.

October 10

I wouldn't say that today was a waste, but it wasn't exactly productive. I didn't sleep well at all and woke up feeling pretty terrible, so I missed Isaac's baseball game --which included an unassisted double play by my boy-- and spent the majority of my hours in my room trying to rest.

But as was the case yesterday, I emerged for dinner with the fam. (Just as an aside, no, we don't usually have so many fruit and veggie platters at mealtimes. It just so happened that Adam and I both bought fruit for dinner, and well, it doesn't stay good forever.)

Everyone was in a decent mood, so it was a blessing to sit with them and watch them interact peacefully.

October 9

It seems like I'm very allergic to something that's blooming near our house, so today was a bit of a rough one. I woke up early because I was congested (and suffering from a runny nose -- talk about a great combo platter!). I plodded around feeling less than great but then noticed we were out of milk, so I decided to buck up and go to the grocery store. I came home, powered myself down, got up to take Isaac to baseball, and then came home and popped Benadryl. Adam picked up Isaac and then got dinner from the Cheesecake Factory. (He's pretty great like that.)

As I sat at the kitchen table with my people-- still feeling awful-- I took a tentative bite of my shepherd's pie and immediately said a prayer of thanks because I could actually taste it.

I think that's a lot of what faith is all about -- being thankful for the small details that power us forward during difficult times. Like being thankful for an individual raindrop that falls because we know it feeds the earth (even if it makes its appearance in the midst of a too-long rainstorm that we wish would just stop already). 

So today, I'm grateful for the reminder that perspective is worth its weight in gold (or in my case, shepherd's pie).

October 8

Isaac asked if he could go to his friend Tyler's house this afternoon. After I confirmed that he'd finished his homework, I said sure, and I dropped him off at 4:30.

He can be something of a moody kid sometimes --a trait which has been amplified by his foray into the pre-teen years-- so it did my heart good to realize that the version of him that got into the car with me to leave the house was happy-go-lucky Isaac. He was genuinely excited to see his buddy, and I was genuinely excited for him to have that interaction. (Masked, of course, for any Karens who may be reading along.)

It's such a blessing to see my kiddos happy.

October 7

Six months and some change after moving into our new house, our old house will become someone else's (temporary) home tomorrow. I went by this afternoon to leave the mailbox keys on the counter and, on a whim, ran upstairs (while trying not to disturb the pretty lines in the just-vacuumed carpet too much) to take a picture of Logan and Isaac's room. Here it is:

Granted it looked much different when we lived there -- the walls were blue and the carpet was a single-toned beige, for starters-- but I can still remember sitting in the corner by the windows in my glider, nursing and singing and rocking baby Logan to sleep 13 years ago. And I can still remember dressing up very-young Abby, Logan, and Isaac in Valentine's Day apparel and taking a group picture of them in this room. It's a good set of memories and I'm glad to have them, but I'd be lying if I said that the idea of someone else living in this room wasn't a bit bittersweet.

Still, I'm thankful. Thankful for the memories and thankful for forward progress and thankful that that place that still holds so many feelings and emotions for us is still ours. I'm hopeful that it will be a happy place for everyone who calls it home in the months and years to come.

October 6

It's quarterly close week number one for Adam (which means late, late nights) and Isaac had a scrimmage in Danville this evening, so I Mom-Bussed him up there for the action.

The temperature was a pleasant one and an intermittent breeze ruffled the leaves on nearby trees, so I enjoyed sitting there in a lawn chair, taking in the action on the field while working on one of the many crochet projects I have going right now. Isaac had a decent game at the plate, with a solid single to right, an RBI, and a run scored. (That's him at bat.)

I admit I was a wee bit lonely there in my bubble, even though I was surrounded by other parents, but I appreciated the quiet time to myself. And I appreciate that I got to watch Isaac do something he loves.

October 5

I woke up this morning feeling off. Unsettled. I went about the day as usual but wasn't as keenly aware of my surroundings as I often am, so I don't have much to share this evening. But I do have this, and it's worthy of a glance, I think.

I made and ordered this wall hanging from Shutterfly a number of months ago. We've been slow to decorate (mostly because we still need to buy a few pieces of furniture and I want to finish furnishing before adding final touches) but this is hanging in our entry way. 

I really like it because it's... us. Just us. And even on days that just don't feel right from the get-go, 'us' is still a blessing.

October 4

The air quality improved enough today that Adam and I were able to take a walk tonight.

As we headed back toward our house, Adam remarked that the experience reminded him of our college days in Claremont when we'd take walks late at night along those silent, tree-lined streets.

I noted the differences, like we have hills here while it's flat there, there aren't nearly as many trees here (and so on), but the roots of his comment are true nonetheless: those were pleasant walks on pleasant evenings. And this too was a pleasant walk on a pleasant evening. And although many things have changed since then, I'm thankful that we're still having those strolls.

October 3

I bought a giant pack of lip liners a week or two ago. Abby's on a mission to find a lip color that doesn't suit her face --because really, almost any shade works for her-- so I thought be fun to play with them. Today, I suggested we both pick out a potentially unflattering shade to wear when we went out shopping. (Since we'd be wearing masks and all, I figured it might be fun to know we have crazy lips that people can't see.)

It's hard to tell from this image, but she went with a bright light pink, and I chose a kind of purplish pinkish mauve-y color. (Yeah, I'm super precise.) They didn't wind up looking nearly as atrocious as I'd envisioned, but it was okay anyway because we still wandered around the stores getting lip liner on the insides of our masks. Together.

And togetherness with this one and only gal of mine who just keeps getting older and older... well, that's a blessing.

October 2

The kiddos all disappeared to the living room after dinner while Adam and I watched part of the Cards/Padres game on TV. I got up to check on them a little later and was totally gratified to find them harmoniously enjoying a video game.

When I first approached, they were all celebrating something and I loved the sight, so I asked them to do it again for me (and hold the pose for a few seconds because otherwise it'd have been blurry!. And they did -- twice.

So tonight, I'm thankful for their recent peaceful interactions and for how they've played together so cheerfully. And I'm grateful that they listened to me and did what I asked -- even if it was a bit silly.

October 1

My allergies flared again last night and today, so I spent most of my Thursday lying low. I emerged from hiding for dinner, and then joined the others in the family room for some playoff baseball action. I plunked down in front of Adam (which is The Signal for 'rub my back pleeeeease'). A little later, Isaac plunked down behind Abby while Abby gave his Slime Dog --who is so often her nemesis that I had to do a double take to be sure I was seeing it correctly-- a rub down.

They swapped places a few times, which resulted in the boys telling Abby she was rubbing too hard, but there were also giggles. They were interacting in a way that didn't involve war. Or harsh words. Or anything negative at all, really.

I absolutely love it when they act like friends; when they speak kindly and support one another. They definitely still have their blow ups at times, but moments like this give me hope that one day, they'll all be buddies who sit around and talk about their (mostly) happy shared childhood.