June 30

I enjoyed another glorious morning that featured trips to the Mother Ship, Walmart, Target, and Hobby Lobby. And then this evening, we went out for this girl's "official" graduation dinner.

The Cheesecake Factory was delightfully not busy when we arrived for our 5PM meal, so we were seated quickly. We noshed on bread (and if you're Brady, butter) while Abby talked a little about her favorite (and less so) parts of the high school experience. (High? Her sophomore English class. Low? Figuring out her friend-group situation.) 

It was good to be out with my people, and better to be able to celebrate this girl and her accomplishments.

June 29

It was a good day because this morning, I finally tested negative for COVID.

I got to go to Isaac's baseball game, and to Hobby Lobby, and to the grocery store. And let me tell you, I felt what can only be called joy as I walked triumphantly into the Grocery Outlet this evening. It was beautiful, man. Just beautiful.

I am not someone who enjoys being cooped up -- not even in my lovely house. So today I am grateful for that sweet, sweet negative test.

June 28

It seems appropriate that today's entry be centered on Isaac, since two days ago I was Abby-focused while yesterday, Brady was in the spotlight.

Isaac had two baseball games today with two different teams. He was on the winning side both times (woohoo!), and when he got home, he pulled off his hat and noted that his hair was a bit off. (He usually has great hat-hair. It's really the funniest thing, but his hair truly does look good after he takes off his cap. But I digress.) He mused that the weird cowlick was the result of his hair trying to push his hat off his head.

I smiled at the assertion (and even more at his chatty, cheerful mood). This kid is definitely a blessing, even when he's being weird.

June 27

I did a lot of crocheting and TV-watching today. That's pretty much it. But I did have dinner with Adam and this guy right here.

After we ate, while Adam drove over to Isaac's friend Alex's house to drop off his shoes (since he wore cleats to his game this afternoon he didn't think to take regular shoes for after... it's not an uncommon thing), Brady and I had some goofy time. I half-chased him around the house trying to get him to sit down and eat his veggies (which I knew was a --forgive the pun-- fruitless exploit). And then he abruptly started doing squats against the front door.

He, like his sister and brothers, can be weird. And in my growing stir craziness, I am grateful for that weirdness.

June 26

Abby's grad announcements arrived a few days ago, and this afternoon she decided to start making some headway. So she plunked down next to me at the kitchen table and got to work.

With a few addressed envelopes under her belt, she scooted upstairs and returned a few minutes later wearing this disco ball-esque little number.

Truth be told, it's an old dance costume. But she likes it, and somehow, it gave her the motivation she needed to keep writing.

They may seem bizarre at times, but I love seeing my kids' idiocyncrasies on display. God made each of us according to a unique blueprint, and there's nothing quite as satisfying as seeing those unusual bits and pieces in play in daily life.

June 25

I stepped outside to get the mail this afternoon (ah, sweet freedom!) and was immediately blinded by a small but extremely bright object that lay at the foot of the stairs.

When I got closer, I saw that it was a dime. A little bitty dime. But that tiny bit of currency reflected so much light that I literally had to look away the moment I opened the door.

'Twas a run of the mill kind of moment, I guess, but put a spotlight on an important truth: We're all like little dimes, but when the sun (or as I may say, the Son) hits us just so, we can glow. 

So the next time you feel compelled to share a story that may bring healing to someone else, go ahead and shine.

June 24

I've been feeling fine so I took another COVID test this afternoon. Still positive. So I'm still in COVID jail. Ugh.

But I bucked up and continued working on adding to my ever-growing pile of beanies and scarves that I'm going to donate to the military pack-out that's happening this fall.

I'm not pleased to be stuck in quarantine, but at least I'm at home with an air conditioner that works and I'm able to do something that will bless others later.

June 23

The boys had lots of energy when they got home from VBS this afternoon. (Isaac is helping with the first through third graders and Brady is a camper. Abby was supposed to be leading worship, but, well, COVID.) 

At one point Brady --who'd plunked the huge Mickey Mouse had he got at Disneyland on his head-- attached himself to Isaac's leg and they ambled awkwardly into the kitchen together.

Things are often goofy and weird at our house. And in that moment when Brady looked up at me, I felt a sense of thankfulness for his lighthearted brand of weird.

June 22

I masked up and headed outside to get the mail this afternoon. As I closed the front door, I looked up at the overcast sky, and something about the clouds and the filtered sunlight conjured up memories of like-scenes from my childhood back on the east coast. And for a brief moment --thinking back on those days of sudden downpours and heat lightning and lightning bugs-- I wondered if it would rain. But then I remembered that I'm in Northern California and it doesn't rain here during the summer. So I continued down the steps and accomplished my task.

A little later, I decided to go back outside --this time to take the trek up to the upper deck to watch the sunset-- and much to my surprise, it was raining. Actual little drip-drops were falling from the sky.

I stood at the top of the hill for several minutes watching the sun dip toward the horizon and feeling the ping, ping, ping of water droplets against my skin. And I felt a sense of thankfulness for rain and for beauty and for nostalgia. And for little surprises, like unexpected rain.

June 21

Throughout the course of our nearly 25-year long relationship, Adam has consistently noted the presence of "Beverly Hills, 90210" alumni when they've popped up in other TV shows and movies. (Think "oh, it's Dylan McKay!" and "That's Brenda Walsh. Troublemaker.") So when he plunked down on the couch in the family room Saturday morning and immediately pointed out that Luke Perry was in the episode of "SVU" that I was watching, it hit me: he needed the complete series. So I bought it as a Father's Day gift. And today, it arrived.

I was standing by with my phone to capture the moment of the great unboxing, and it did not disappoint. The moment he saw what was inside, his face broke into the widest grin and then he admitted that okay, yeah, maybe he talks about it a little too much.

I think he appreciated the gesture. And I know we'll have fun watching all (because there are a LOT of them) of those old episodes in the months to come. And that time will no doubt be a blessing.

June 20

I spent most of today holed up in the bedroom. Although Adam recently had COVID, the boys had it earlier this year, and Abby is my current virus buddy, it felt like the prudent thing to do. 

I enjoy my alone time to a point, but after hours of crocheting hats, making mock-ups of Abby's graduation announcement on Shutterfly using her awesome senior portraits, and watching re-runs of "Criminal Minds" on TV, I was more than ready to head outside for dinner on the deck.

Brady had a late-afternoon game so we ate later than usual, but it was still a blessing to go hang with my peeps for a little while.

June 19

The thing that frustrates me most about this COVID thing is the mind fog. I just can't seem to string together words like I usually can, so bear with me as I muddle through this post.

Father's Day isn't exactly Adam's favorite holiday like Mother's Day isn't mine, but I think he had a nice day nonetheless. Brady had a game, and since I'm out of commission, he accompanied him to the ballpark this morning and into the afternoon. The he spent some time in the pool with the boys.

We ate dinner out on the deck --he made tacos and burritos; wasn't interested in ordering out-- and had the party pack I ordered from Coldstone for dessert. And he opened his presents.

And that was, for the most part, his day. And I hope it was a good one; if nothing else, it was simple, and I know he likes simple. He's a great man, this man of mine, and a great example of love and selflessness to our kids. Happy Father's Day, hunny.

June 18

Turns out I brought a special souvenir back from Disneyland. (And no, ha ha, that is most definitely not a pregnancy test.)

I started to feel like I had a cold coming on last night, so as soon as we got home late this afternoon, I took a COVID test. And, well, you see the result. Abby is also in the Positive Club.

I'm less than thrilled about this turn of events, but at the same time, I'm deeply grateful that I felt good through the vast majority of our trip. And I'm grateful that we were able to be together and have fun together. And I'm grateful that Adam's sabbatical from work began last week, so nothing will go to pot while I'm out of commission.

It's all a reminder for me that God is good all the time. I don't want to be sick nor do I want be stuck at home, but I'm thankful that I have people around me to not just pick up slack, but also to take care of ME when I need it.

June 17

Today marked the final day of our Disney vacation, so we made the most of it. 

"Making the most of it" meant getting up at 6:45 AM so we could jet over to California Adventure in order to be in line for the Radiator Springs Racers ride before it became an hours-long affair. We succeeded and were among the first of the day to board, but only after waiting an extra 20 minutes as the crew tested out the cars. (Phew. If they'd closed it, I think we would've birthed a collective cow.) 

I was mulling it earlier and concluded that Cars Land is a very special place to me, mostly because Logan loved those cars-with-faces as much as he did, so I really like being there. I love Flo's V8 Cafe and Luigi's and the rock formations and the solitary blinking yellow light in the middle of town. I just love it all. And I love how it makes me feel to see those faces and hear those voices and see the scenes from that precious movie played out in front of me, in real life.  Although I don't believe that my sweet boy is truly there, I do believe that God lets me feel him a little more significantly when I'm walking those wee little streets. And I am so, so grateful for that gift; that little slice of Heaven.

From there, we did a lot. So much that I can't remember it all without looking back through my camera roll, but among others, we rode the Incredicoaster a few times (Brady hated the first time but loved the second. I can't figure that kid out sometimes), checked out the new Spiderman Web Slingers attraction (which is cool enough, but not worth the $20 or however much extra Disney wants for lightning lane access), took a selfie with Sully, and took on a non-swinging gondola on the giant Ferris Wheel on the Pier. We had Ghirardelli ice cream concoctions for lunch because we could. And Adam was delighted to purchase a loaf of fresh sourdough bread from a vendor, too. He loves that stuff. They all do, really. 

After a return to Cars Land to finish up with the other two such-themed rides, we skipped over to Disneyland to finish our day there. After trucking back and forth between a variety of rides, Abby announced that she wasn't feeling well so Adam ferried her back to the hotel while Isaac, Brady, and I waited in a "70" minute line to ride Space Mountain. Ha. Ha. Ha. Not even close. So not even close, in fact, that Adam had time to freshen up at the hotel, return to the park, and join us in line, and we still had another 20 minutes to go. But it worked out and I'm grateful for that. We dined at Pizza Planet and after a jaunt through the Haunted Mansion, we finished with Big Thunder Railroad, which was down most of the day. And we happened to board in the middle of the nightly fireworks display, so colorful bursts of light and color illuminated the sky as we raced along the track. It was unique and quite lovely.

So that's a wrap for our theme park excursion. Though my feet and back ache as I think about falling into bed, I'm thankful to have had this time with my people, and am grateful for the laughs and the funny tales that arose from the week. All of them are most definitely blessings.

June 16

I was very tired when yesterday drew to a close, but tonight, I'm full-on pooped. Exhausted. Ready to fall into bed and sleep for hours (though I'm not sure how likely that is to happen since there's a apparently a rollicker of a band playing in Downtown Disney and the boom, boom, boom of the bass doesn't really work for my light sleeper self. But I digress).

It was, all in all, a good day that was spent entirely at Disneyland. There were a few disagreements because we're all human and a few bumps in the road with rides that closed down at inopportune times, but we made it work out just fine.

The highlight reel before I conk out?  Sure. We began the day by trying to go to the new Star Wars ride, but apparently every other person waiting at the gate when the clock struck 8 had the same plan, so the line was already two hours deep by the time we rolled up. So we headed over to the Millennium Falcon ride and did that one instead. (Brady and I were excellent pilots, for the record. We managed to net a profit, whoop whoop.)

We rode a slew of other rides, including Splash Mountain and Space Mountain, where we continued perfecting our photo game. And actually, one of the day's most interesting tales came from our time on Space Mountain. We'd just finished the final stretch of the ride when our car suddenly came to a stop and the lights went off. Then The Voice told us to stay in our seats (as if we'd get off, ha ha ha) and flight crews would come help us. So we sat there in the dark for a few minutes taking goofy pictures to test out the light meter of Adam's phone. (There's one that looks like Abby had cat eyes but I figured she'd be mad at me if I used that one so I went with the one in the top right instead.) And then a pair of cast members came and actually pushed our car to the ending point. I was super, super grateful that we were able to finish our ride before the unnamed problem arose.

From there, we headed over to Small World since the line was short, and then we wound up on the slowest boat ever. It moved through the attraction so slowly that by the time we saw daylight, there were at least four other boats right on our tail and Abby was laughing almost to tears over a comment Adam made about greased monkeys. (It was weird. But our conveyance was boat number 7 for you LA locals, in case you're looking for a leisurely float through the neon paradise.) Then Abby finally got the Mickey Mouse pretzel she'd been wanting (as did Isaac and Brady), Brady got the giant Mickey hat he's apparently always wanted (I had no clue), and we headed back to the hotel, where we watched the Warriors win the Championships over Boston (woohoo!) and had carryout pizza for dinner.

I am so grateful for the happy memories we've made so far. Tomorrow is our last theme park day of this trip, and my prayer is that it will be filled with more good times that we'll look back on with a smile.

June 15

Isaac turned 14 years old today. And since this just happens to be our Disney week, he (we) got to celebrate in unusual style. 

I'll spare you the exact details since I'm running on fumes and midnight is quickly approaching, but we started the day at California Adventure, where we exhausted the list of lightning pass options (including the Incredicoaster, which became a favorite for those who rode it) before enjoying lunch at an Italian eatery. We closed out that meal with a cute Mickey Mouse-shaped chocolate cake for the birthday kid. From there we hopped over to Disneyland, where we spent a lot of time in lines but managed to ride Splash Mountain (oh, the wet pants), Peter Pan, and Big Thunder. 

Then it was back over to California Adventure for a quick dinner at Flo's V8 Cafe before our evening activity: a dessert party and viewing of the World of Color. We hadn't seen it before and it was quite the spectacle. Isaac noted afterward that it was late --the show didn't start until 10:15-- but worth it. I'm certainly glad he thought so!

Anyway, it was a busy day, but hopefully Isaac enjoyed it. It was kind of neat having all of the cast members telling him happy birthday (and seeing most of them balk when he responded '14'; many said they assumed he was 15 or 16 because of his height), and as usual, he had a good attitude about even the more frustrating moments (like when Peter Pan conked out after a long wait). He's a good-hearted, sweet-natured kid, and we're blessed to have him as an integral part of our family. Happy birthday, Bup!

June 14

We were up and at 'em early this morning, and as I write this from our room, I can report that we spent roughly 14 hours at Disneyland today -- from when the gates opened til just after the fireworks show concluded. For me, that equates to just over 23,000 steps. So... phew. But it was good, good fun.

We started with the Matterhorn and wound up riding it twice in a row, because when there's no wait at the Matterhorn, you go more than once. (Brady wasn't especially amused by that attraction, but he recovered well.)

Then we did Autopia, Big Thunder Railroad, It's a Small World (and now I know you're humming that tune, sorry), that wretched canoe ride, the Storybook ride, the teacups, the Winnie the Pooh ride, Buzz Lightyear's Astroblasters, Millennium Falcon, Splash Mountain (where both Brady and I were soaked to the skin while the others remained pretty darn dry), The Tiki Room, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Pinocchio, (Hyper)Space Mountain (that gets parentheses because I just can't accept the -hyper prefix), Star Tours twice (and the second time, we found out that Brady is actually a Rebel Spy! We were shocked when his picture was flashed on-screen. You think you know somebody and then bam, you find out he's a Rebel Spy. Go figure). And we probably did other things, too, but I'm a little fried so I'm sure something's escaping my memory. We actually did quite a lot, despite the healthy crowd (by numbers... I'm sure we're in a breeding ground for COVID because let me tell you, there is absolutely no social distancing at Disneyland right now). You can really get around when your kids are bigger!

We didn't see many characters, but importantly for Abby, when we headed over to Pooh Corner, the big honey-craving bear himself was there (along with Tigger), so she was able to show off her Disney Bound effort. (Pooh seemed impressed. And confused.) Or maybe I should say our effort; I'm not usually the wear-multiple-shades-of-pink type, but I engaged in some sister solidarity with my girl by bounding as Piglet.

We also put in extra effort with our faces for the rides with photo elements. I've felt especially motivated to deliver in that area ever since Abby birthed the Epic Space Mountain Terror Photo from our girls' trip to Orlando 10 years ago. I think we did reasonably well! Hopefully that trend continues as the week presses on.

Anyhow, tonight I will go to sleep feeling grateful for a very successful first day at the park. I'm thankful for minimal bickering, lovely weather, and quality time spent with my favorite people.

June 13

We got up this morning, packed up the car, and road-tripped it to Southern California. Why? Because it's Disneyland week!

The uneventful trip featured two drivers taking turns behind the wheel (and one of them was not me!), a not-so-quick lunch stop at Wendy's, and a spirited singalong set to the sounds of "Let It Go."

We arrived at the Disneyland Hotel --which isn't our usual spot since man alive, is it cha-ching! but we figured hey, everyone's moving up a school this fall so why not?-- at 4:15ish and checked into our room in the Adventure Tower. The kiddos and Adam hit the pools, while I had some quiet time to myself.

And then it was off to Downtown Disney for dinner at a Mexican place and some light window-shopping amid a throng of fellow vacationers.

We'll be up bright and early in the morning for a visit to Mickey Mouse's house which will no doubt create memories I'll treasure down the line. But for now, I'm so grateful to God for a safe trip down I-5 (and through the web of LA freeway insanity) and a peaceful evening with my peeps.

June 12

All of the kiddos finished the school year with good report cards, so we did as we often do and went to Coldstone for celebratory ice cream this evening after dinner.

This go-round, Abby chose a birthday cake concoction, the boys went with Peeps ice cream with Sour Patch Kids (yet another borderline-blech combo, if you ask me), Adam had mango with gummy bears, and I chose chocolate and peanut butter (because yum).

It's always nice to get together to celebrate achievements, so the family time was a blessing.

June 11

Since the Spring baseball season is in the books and there was nothing on the calendar today, Abby and I took one of our customary Saturday shopping trips.

We hit Michaels and Hobby Lobby and Target,  JoAnn, and Crumbl. And the Burger King drive thru for some refreshments: cherry vanilla Diet Coke and fries for me, a mystery* frozen drink and mozzarella sticks for her. (*So yeah, there is no such drink, but the gal at the window seemed to be having trouble filling the order. I wound up with two Diet Cokes, since the first was plain diet, and Abby was given a double order of mozzarella sticks in a addition to a bright red frozen "Coke".)

Anyway, it was fun to be out with her again because I know she'll be off to Wheaton much sooner than I think. And I know I'll miss my girl.

June 10

Same costume, different girls. 1991 and 2022.

Abby spent yesterday afternoon trying on all of her old dance costumes. (Including one she wore when she was five. FIVE.)

Then today, she lugged the box of my old costumes up from the garage and tried on some of those, including this little red number that I wore for a jazz routine in 1991 when I was 13. (I didn't just remember that. I had to look at the back of the picture, which also told me that the routine was called "New York, New York." Thank you, 13-year old me, for being so detail-oriented!) 

I gave her my old dance photo album-slash-scrapbook to look at and for funsies, she re-created some of my original poses. And she had a great time doing it. I know because she said so, and because her ebullience over the experience --both re-living her own recital memories and sliding into the remnants of mine-- spilled over in enthusiastic exclamations of "I am having SO much fun."

It's a blessing to see that kind of joyfulness in my girl. So for that, I am grateful.

June 9

Today was Abby's final dance recital. She and Gracie and the rest of their ginormous musical theater class performed a spirited routine set to various songs from the "Grease" soundtrack. At the end, she was recognized as a graduating senior and as a 15-year dancer.

Afterward, Adam opined that it was her best performance ever, and after some thought, I agree with his assessment. She looked happy on stage; comfortable. At home. And it was good for my heart to see her enjoying the moment instead of overtly focusing on being perfect.

It was particularly meaningful that she and Gracie were (deliberately) paired up for parts of the dance. Last week they graduated high school together, so it felt appropriate that this week, they would dance in their last recital together. It's what best friends do.

So yes, another chapter has closed. But I'll always look back on our many years at Jazz N Taps with a smile because through both happy and challenging times, the studio was always a place of stability. And for that blessing, I'll be forever grateful.

June 8

Today was Abby's last dress rehearsal for a dance recital. 

Although she's perfectly capable of transporting herself these days, she asked me to drive her to Dublin High, and I obliged. 

I've not had many overtly emotional responses to the string of Lasts that my girl has experienced in recent weeks; truth be told, all I've really felt was a brief wave of emotion when I spotted her walking onto the football field at graduation last week. So I was a little surprised when, as she and her giant class of "Grease Medley" girls trooped onto the stage this afternoon, I felt a twinge in my chest. Last time watching her rehearse. It was surreal, like a jaunt in territory that's familiar yet not entirely so. 

But in a way, it wound up feeling strangely continuous, too, because Nikki was there, sitting next to me, when Abby's class ran through their number. And I was still sitting next to her when, moments later, Dani and her class of fluffy ducklings clattered on stage for their official run-through. 

It's poetic that Dani's first year of dance is Abby's last. It almost feels like Abby is handing her a baton as Dani goes to kindergarten and she heads off to college. 

It makes it better for me, somehow, even if I'm not entirely sure why it makes it better. And for that, I am grateful.

June 7

This is how I found Isaac when I got up this morning:

Lounging on the living room couch, beloved dog trio by his side, watching Brady play a video game on the TV. (And possibly trying to hide a bowl of chips he'd smuggled into the room.)

Yep, my kiddos are living their best lives on this second day of summer vacation. And for that, I am thankful, because rested kids are more patient and tolerant kids.

June 6

This evening Abby and I took the short drive to Shadow Cliffs for the Senior photo session I promised her last year.

John, a friend of ours from church, is an amazing photographer and offered to do the shoot. His lovely wife and daughter served as his crew as we embarked on a two-hour stroll through the park that concluded just as the sun dipped behind the hills. There were laughs and outfit changes (including into a dress that Abby made specially for the day!) and water involved. And a real-live cheeseburger, too.

It is such a blessing to have talented friends who are willing to share their gifts, so tonight I'm grateful for the Houston family.

June 5

Lots of kids like macaroni and cheese. According to most parents I know, most kids go for the Kraft variety from the box, but not mine; mine prefer homemade. And once they get it into their little heads that they want some, the requests become relentless. In fact, Brady told me a few days ago that he wanted a vat of it. So that's what I made tonight: a vat of mac and cheese.

In reality, the "vat" consisted of two boxes of pasta, four cups of milk, half a cup of butter, eight tablespoons of flour, and six cups of cheddar cheese. (Which, for the record, is a LOT of mac and cheese.)

And they gobbled it up like they hadn't eaten in days (which is totally not the case because they have, in fact, consumed two full loaves of bread in the last 24 hours. But that's neither here nor there).

Anyway, on to my point. Kids (at least my kids) can be picky eaters, so it's always a blessing when they enthusiastically consume what I serve them. So for that, I am grateful.

June 4

What. A. Week.

I began the week with a high school senior, an eighth grader, and a fifth grader, and I'm finishing it with a college freshman, a high school freshman, and a newly minted middle schooler. When classes begin again in two months, Abby will be in Chicagoland, Isaac will start at Abby's now-alma mater, and Brady will begin at a school we've never attended. It's overwhelming. It's tiring.

But it's also wonderful. I've spent much of today being exhausted (because exhaustion is a natural byproduct of seeing your beautiful daughter graduate from high school and then picking her up from the post-party at 3AM, as I've come to realize). But I've also taken a few moments to look back at these three amazing people's lives to date, and I am so grateful for all I've seen.

So in honor of these creative, joyful, introspective, intelligent, inquisitive, thoughtful people I call three of my four children, I'm sharing first and last day door photos: the top is Abby's first day of preschool and her high school graduation day; the middle is Isaac's first day of preschool and his last day of middle school; and the bottom is Brady's first day of preschool and his last day of elementary school.

I am thankful for these years that have passed and thankful to be their mom. And I can't wait to see what else God has in store for them as they begin their next educational adventures.

June 3

Abby graduated from high school tonight. 

It's such a surreal feeling that I have to write it again to convince myself that it's real: Abby --my first-born, my only girl, the big sister, the one who long ago dubbed herself my Broke Little Best Friend Who Thinks I'm Rich-- is finished with high school. 

She donned a cute white dress and we dined on takeout from Chipotle on the new outdoor furniture that was delivered yesterday. (Thank you, Costco.) Then she perched her purple cap (which she decorated with tiny fabric flowers) atop her head and slipped into her Amador purple gown and an array of neck accoutrements. (If you're wondering, said-cords were for yearbook, biliteracy certification, and Young Life. The fourth item was a lei that a neighbor of ours very kindly and unexpectedly bought for her to wear. Thank you, Ashlee!) 

She filed into the stadium with her peers and we cheered when we saw her pass by. They called her name and her English teacher --Mr. Paktaghan, who taught her both sophomore and senior years-- handed her a diploma (holder. The real deal comes next week sometime) and she crossed the stage and shook hands with the trustees and other district bigwigs. She turned her tassel. We took photos on the track with Adam's parents, who joined us for the occasion. And then she changed and went off to Grad Night, where I hope she's having fun as I type and try to untangle the web of hopelessly knotted thoughts in my mind.

You all know me well enough at this point to know that I'm rarely at a loss for words; I think this blog is a testament to that truth. But in these waning moments of today, I'm close to it, not because I don't have anything to say, but because I have so much to say that I can't seem to formulate a cogent reflection. But because I am me, I'll see what I can do.

I am so, so grateful to God for gifting us with Abby 17 years and 7 months ago. She's smart and sensitive and witty and thoughtful and beautiful and she has an amazingly good heart. She works hard and always strives to do what's right, even if it's not what's popular or what she wants to do. And she's a survivor. I watched her lose her best friend when she was just seven years old. Managing those feelings was virtually impossible for me as an adult, but even as a child, she handled it with a level of grace and maturity that I still don't fully understand. In some ways, she's my hero. And I'm grateful for her example. (And yes, Lambie was there in the stadium taking in the ceremony.)

So yes: Abby is a high school graduate, and I couldn't possibly be prouder of her. Congratulations, bestie. Great things are in store for you because there's a phenomenal plan for your life. And I can't wait to see where the path takes you.

June 2

This "little" guy of ours was officially promoted to high school tonight.

Isaac and his fellow eighth graders assembled on the football field at Abby's school and, following a lickety-split 34-minute ceremony, were officially proclaimed high schoolers. Just like that.

Of course in reality, it took much more than a simple half-hour ceremony to get to this stage. And honestly, as I sat there in my little white chair in the stadium this evening, I couldn't figure out how we got here so quickly. I mean, wasn't he my chunky-monkey 20-pound six-month old just a few years ago? Wasn't he just in speech class with Ms. Denise over at the preschool last year? And all of that notwithstanding, didn't he just finish elementary school a few months back?

I think it's probably always like that for moms: our babies are always our babies, no matter how many hits they get in the game or how many times they lug the garbage cans from the curb to the backyard without being asked. And we're always proud of them and praying for them to grow and change into the best people they can be. At least, that's what I do. And somehow, I doubt that I'm alone in that quest.

So tonight, I'm grateful for this kiddo and for the ways he's made my life better over the course of the past almost-14 years with his humor and sweetness and determination and kindness and patience and that endless stream of bedtime I-love-yous that are oh-so-predictable and oh-so-beautiful all at once. Congrats, Bup! Keep being you at Amador.

June 1

It's a big week for my girl, and tonight she headed off to her last dance class.

For 14 academic years now, she's attended Jazz N Taps for weekly lessons. Although she's not a team girl, she's stuck with the rec program, which allowed her to dabble in tap, ballet, modern, and (her probable favorite of late) musical theater. 

As she was preparing the leave this evening, she asked if I was going to take her picture by the front door like I do on first and last days, and I said sure. And to make it a little more special, I ran to the garage and --miraculously-- located and retrieved her first-ever recital costume for the occasion. (And believe me, God's hand was in it because finding things in the garage is no easy feat.) So she smiled and held up that Good Ship Lollipop outfit and my mind's ear could hear her up on stage, belting out the lyrics in her crackly little voice like the little diva she was back then. The memory inspired a moment of intermingled amusement and sadness.

The emotion of the week hasn't really hit me yet, but this last class of hers is meaningful to both of us, I think. I was a dancer when I was growing up; tap was my Main Thing, and I even taught my own classes and choreographed my girls' routines during my senior year of high school. Although I knew I wasn't dance-as-a-career material, I still enjoyed it and I loved my time at that little studio in Damascus.

And I always knew that if I had a little girl someday, I wanted her to take dance just like her mama. And so she did. We even danced together on that stage as part of the Mother/Daughter class for five years, which --my inability to body wave aside-- I'll never forget.

So yes, tonight I am grateful to God for the miracle of those years and for all of the glittery, sequined memories -- hers, mine, and ours.