September 2

I was crocheting early this evening when Brady appeared and told me that he'd been pitching in the backyard. He then said that he wasn't sure if he was throwing hard or not and his voice trailed off, so I read between the proverbial lines and asked if he wanted me to watch. (He did.) 

So I followed him out the back door and observed as he got set, kicked his leg, and delivered what was a pretty hard pitch at the target. He repeated the process several more times and I confirmed that yes, I thought his velocity was good.

He hasn't thrown all that often of late; he's not currently on a team, school is in session, and Isaac isn't here to play catch. So it was a blessing to see him out there of his own volition, doing his thing. 

My baby is growing up, and I am grateful for the gift of watching that happen.

September 1

I'm not entirely sure how it's already September but here we are, on the brink of my beloved pumpkin season. How sweet it is.

Anyway, since today is Tuesday, I dropped Brady off at Youth Group (or more accurately, he drove me over and I left with the car). And then I met Adam at Gay 90s downtown for dinner. 

We hadn't been there in quite some time, as we tend to get into a rotation of eatery destinations and it wasn't one of them, but I think we both enjoyed the experience. The cheese curds were light and tasty (and the cheese had an excellent pull factor) and the pizza actually felt healthy; not greasy at all with a delicious crust.

And of course, the company and conversation were top notch. 

So for another night out with my number one hunny, I am thankful.

August 31

As Abby so eloquently put it in her text, today was her second first day of second grade.

She sent us a photo as she was leaving her grandparents' house this morning, bound for her maiden experience with student teaching (and then later in the day, the beginning of her own fall instructional term at St. Mary's. She's going to be busy!).

I haven't heard a whole lot about her Monday just yet and I'll let her share as she pleases, but I'm very proud of her for taking another big step toward becoming a teacher. I know she's nervous about what's to come and doubts her own abilities more often than not, but I'm pleased that she's continuing to move forward in faith as God continues to direct her path.

Go get 'em, Miss Wight!

August 30

Sometimes, things just don't go according to our plans.

Tomorrow is Abby's very first day of student teaching. She was assigned to a second grade classroom at a school in Walnut Creek. Since that's much closer to her grandparents' house in Lafayette, she'll be staying with them for roughly half of the week and then returning home for weekends during the Fall semester.

When she went to make the drive to Lafayette this evening, her car wouldn't start. She and Adam (and I) spent a half an hour trying to troubleshoot the issue, but it just wasn't happening, so we finally had her take Charles the Explorer instead.

I know she was rattled and frustrated, but my prayer for her is that she's able to get past the hiccup. And that she'll have a great first day with the kiddos. And tonight, I'm thankful that Charles was available and that Brady is willing to drive my car so he can continue to get his practice behind the wheel. Things may not always go according to our plans, but I'm grateful for backup options that work.

August 29

When Abby was in college, she was consistently in contact with us. She texted multiple times a day and we generally knew the names of her friends and what was going on in her life, even though she was 2,000 miles away.

Isaac's approach to communication is very different. He typically responds to texts with one or two-word answers and never gives specifics. I'm okay with it, really; he's 18 and off on his own adventure, and it's his choice to share or not share as he pleases.

However, it's still really good for my heart to get a wee bit more information about his experience, so I was happy to be able to video call with him this afternoon.

He shared a little about his classes and his burgeoning friendships and how much he likes the breakfast food served in the dining hall. (It's apparently the best meal of the day, with the pancakes and waffles and fruit. And whole milk. He's discovered that he really likes the creaminess of whole milk. Go figure!)

So today, I am grateful for video calls and for the way they help to keep us connected to those who aren't nearby. And I am thankful to God that my sweet kiddo seems to be enjoying his first few weeks of college life.

August 28

I was awakened a little ahead of schedule this morning by the unmistakable plink, plink of rain against the windowpanes. 

When I say that it doesn't rain here during the summer months, I mean it does not rain here, literally, so I hopped up out of bed, pulled back the curtains, and peered outside. 

And this is what I saw: distinctive rain clouds overhead, and the reflection of the opposing trees and houses on the street below. Sure visual signs of the raindrops I could hear.

But somehow, even though I saw the evidence of water, I still had trouble believing that it was really rain. So I squinted my eyes and pressed my nose against the glass to try to discern those teeny tiny drops.

And in hindsight, I think my response to those unexpected showers is the way we often react to God's work in our lives. We can see the evidence of His handiwork all around us, but we can't quite believe that it's real. 

So today, I am thankful for the rain, and also for the tangible reminder that He's always at work.

August 27

It's been an interesting week. It's not uncommon for stuff to break while Adam is out of town so I wasn't exactly surprised when both the countertop nugget ice maker and the Nutribullet bit the dust. But then the sun rose on today and a whole 'nother level of weird began.

Incident numero uno commenced when, as I was vacuuming in the family room, I spied movement on the couch across the room. I took a closer look and spied the itty bitty lizard that Brady first saw while I was at dinner with Sherrie. He'd sent me a text with a picture of the little guy and asked what to do. By the time I replied and told him to try to shoo it outside, he said that it had already scurried under the couch. When I got home that evening I couldn't find him, so Brady and I made a pact to not mention his presence to Abby and hope he'd just come out on his own.

Anyway, I approached little liz with a Starbucks cup and, after much maneuvering, managed to trap him against a cushion. He remained quite calm, and occasionally looked up at me through the plastic as I tried to figure out how to get him all the way into the cup. Long story shorter, I eventually summoned Abby to give me a note card, carefully slipped it under his little feet until he moved fully into the cup, and rushed him outside and to freedom.

Incident numero dos followed a short while later. I cleaned the washing machine filter and started a fresh load, only to discover that I hadn't pushed the filter fully back into place. So yep: water all over the laundry room floor. Since this happened a few years ago as well, I decided to go to Walmart to buy a shop vac, which I set up and put to work. I guess I was probably yelping in the laundry room --I was definitely trying to keep myself calm by saying things like "it's a blessing to have furniture for lizards to hide under" but I'm sure I was muttering less inspirational things too-- because Abby left and returned with a coffee for me. As she handed it to me, she explained that she felt bad because so many things kept happening to me today. And then she laughed. And I laughed, because this week has indeed been pretty ridiculous. It was a super sweet gesture on her part and honestly, I almost cried when I saw it. 

Yep, it's been a weirdly tough week. But my girl made it so much better with a simple act of kindness. So for her thoughtfulness, I am thankful.

August 26

I thought it would be fun to eat at the Costco food court tonight, just like we did back when Abby and Logan and Isaac were young. (Those trips happened primarily during the pre-Brady days.)

So we did. I drove Abby and Brady over to the Livermore Costco this evening (because although I prefer for my tax dollars to stay in Pleasanton, Livermore was always our destination back then), we made our picks, and we sat down at one of those classic white tables. 

It was surprisingly busy for mid-week and someone who shall not be named was miffed to be there, but it was still a pleasant mini-shot of nostalgia for yours truly. 

So I'm grateful for that. And I'm grateful for yummy chicken bakes, too.

August 25

Since Adam is out of town, I decided that it would be a good time to reach out to friends to schedule some get-togethers.

And then I was a complete slacker and only sort of followed through. But I did arrange to have an early dinner tonight at Strizzi's with Sherrie.

I've known Sherrie for quite a long while now; Abby and her daughter Liz were in dance class together a number of years ago and we started meeting for coffee back then.

I don't see her often, but it's always wonderful to catch up because as I often say, friendship is a blessing. And friendships that hold up over time are doubly blessed.

August 24

Adam is on a work trip to Beijing this week so it's just me, Abby, and Brady holding down the fort.

Although we each have our own individual activities during the daytime hours, we reunited for dinner tonight. And as we ate, we watched ESPN Jeopardy! (just like we did last night).

Brady fared quite well (especially with the baseball-related answers), I got a handful, and our resident non-sportsball fan even managed to get a few right (largely courtesy of her ability to identify Messi and Ronaldo).

We had a good time chuckling at our responses and "competing" for dominance. So for the time (well-)spent hanging out with some of my kiddos, I am grateful.

August 23

Oh, the minds of teenage boys.

I asked Brady to put the box that contained his pitching target out by the recycling bin this afternoon. It's a pretty large box so it had been sitting in the living room against the wall for a few months now, and I decided I was tired of looking at it.

Anyway, I got on with what I was doing and happened to walk through the front of the house a few minutes later. And that's when I found him trying to ride the box "Home Alone" style down the bottom section of the staircase.

The effort didn't yield the ride he was seeking, but it did fold the box so it would fit into the recycling dumpster. And watching him chuckle as he scooted back and forth and back and forth was pretty amusing. So for the gift of finding funny moments in the oft-strange behavior of teenagers, I am thankful.

August 22

Brady was back at it in the kitchen this afternoon. 

After deciding that he was hungry and bored and that we didn't have what he wanted to eat on-hand, he opted to make loaded mashed potato balls. From scratch, of course.

I served as the official overseer (so I cracked eggs, showed him how to plunk the potatoes into boiling water without splashing himself, and so on) and he got to work.

In the end, he'd baked two full trays of bite-sized potato balls. And he ate nearly all of them, courtesy of the Teenage Boy Appetite. 

It's a blessing to be able to watch his creativity and attention to detail come to life when he's in the kitchen. (And tasting said-creations if pretty cool, too.)

August 21

When Abby and I got home from the Mother Ship this morning, we found one of her sneakers at the top of the staircase as we came up from the garage.

A few moments later, we spied her other shoe underneath Berto (the Roomba) in the dining room. The little vacuum was no longer running, but I could tell that quite the battle had taken place in our absence.

As I stood there gawking at the strangeness before me, Abby simply quipped "it's like a dog." I snorted aloud, but I laughed and laughed inwardly because it was an incredibly sharp, accurate assessment of what we were seeing.

I'm still not entirely sure why Berto attacked the shoes, but it made for a funny moment. And for that, I am grateful, because humor makes for a light heart.

August 20

I was watching TV with Adam this evening when Brady called out "the sky is pink" from the other side of the house.

So I got up and went to the bedroom window for a look. And what I found was indeed pink and quite lovely.

There's nothing quite as awe (and aaaah) inspiring as a beautiful sunset. The way the colors appear from nowhere and then morph and change as they slide across the sky and down into the horizon can be breathtaking.

So tonight, I am grateful for a creative God who shares his paintings with us every single day.

August 19

Today after coffee and before Costco, Abby and I took a little ride to one of her favorite places: Hobby Lobby.

The store near our house --the one where she worked a few summers ago-- closed and moved to Hayward quite a while ago, so we made the trip to Southland Mall.

And my girl was in her element. She practically floated from aisle to aisle, oohing and aahing over the pillows and wall art and scrapbooking supplies and artificial flowers. She even asked me to take this photo of her in the very pink part of the Christmas section because it was just so totally her vibe. (She really, really likes pink.)

The greatness of the store aside, however, I think her highlight was when a little girl pointed at her and declared that "her looks like a princess!" I thought she might cry as she relayed the compliment to me a little later.

For the blessings of more time with my girl and of witnessing her as she walked around like she'd stepped through the gates of Disneyland, I am grateful.

August 18

Abby came with me to Starbucks this morning, and then we embarked upon an epic impromptu (mostly window) shopping trip.

When she was in high school, it wasn't unusual for us to spend our Saturday afternoons hopping from shop to shop, but save our usual Black Friday outings, it'd been a while since we'd done that. 

But today, we went from Starbucks to Target to Wendy's (because I love the freestyle soda machine) to another Target to Michael's to the mall. There was a lot of walking involved and I was pretty pooped by the time we got back home, but it was also a lot of fun.

We don't always see eye to eye on everything and we have our share of disagreements, but I adore this one and only daughter of mine. And I'm thankful that we were able to spend so much time together today.

August 17

Adam and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary today with an upscale dinner at Haps.

So much has happened since we said our I dos back in 2002; back when we were fresh-faced 24-year olds ready to dive into married life and all of its joys (and, little did we fully realize, pains).

We've moved four times --all within the comfy confines of our chosen hometown-- from apartment to apartment to townhouse to duet to --at long last-- house with unattached walls. We've welcomed four amazing, beautiful babies and said an excruciating, heart-rending see-you-later to one. We've attended countless sporting events and dance recitals and have sent two off to college. 

We've argued and made up and argued some more (and made up some more). We've tackled differing communication styles and come to an understanding to live and let live with respect to issues on which we simply disagree.

Perhaps most importantly, we've tried --and hopefully succeeded-- at modeling a faith-driven life for our children. We've been united in wanting them to know that there is a God who loves them deeply and wants to bless them, and that there is a Savior who died to save them from themselves. 

Our marriage is not perfect, but it's good. And I can't imagine navigating the ups and downs and the heartbreaks and joys with a better partner. Happy 24th, hunny! I love you.

August 16

It's been a truly lovely Sunday. It began with an excellent and inspiring message at church and continued with a kick-back afternoon at home.

Later in the day, after the A's game ended, I reminded Adam that my laptop was on its last legs and he suggested we head over to Costco to look at replacements. (Although I used to be a bona fide computer-killer, I've actually had my old machine for five or six years, maybe longer. She's had a good run but the mouse doesn't really work anymore, she only runs while plugged in, and the McAfee pop-ups are out of control.)

Anyway, it was a great Costco run. As we jetted up and down the aisles in search of popcorn for Brady, it felt like the old days, back when we were younger and life was simpler. Although I wouldn't trade away my experiences --because every one of them has revealed more about me and brought me a fuller understanding of the true character of God-- the sense of nostalgia unlocked was pretty special. So for that, I am thankful.

August 15

The house feels very still and quiet, probably because the boys aren't wrestling in the living room and chasing each other up and down the stairs. It's a little strange. Actually, this time of transition is more than a little strange; it's a lot strange.

Given that I'm someone who doesn't love things being different, I'm grateful for familiar things in my life, like Adam and Abby and Brady. And even BearBear, Brady's stuffed bear who's always had a "thing" for me. (It's part of the extensive lore.) He sat on my shoulder for a while this afternoon.

Of course, change is most definitely an integral part of God's design so I'm grateful for new experiences that bring us closer to becoming the people He wants us to be, too.

August 14

I haven't heard a lot from Isaac since Brady and I came home, but that's as it should be. He's a young adult and a college student now, so he's making his own way and following the path God has laid out for him. It's hard, but it's time for me to take a step back and just be available if he wants or needs to touch base.

Still, it's always a comfort to know that my kiddos are feeling well and in a good place mentally. So this brief little message thing evening did my heart good. It seems like the initial transition to life at Wheaton is going well. So for that not small gift, I am grateful.

August 13

Brady started the 10th grade today. No more single digit grades at our house!

It was also the first time I've had only one kid in a first day of school door photo in a really, really long time. It was surreal because it served as tangible evidence of how much our little family has grown up.

Anyway, my sophomore was up bright and early. He made himself breakfast --one of his potato dishes, which he pre-prepped yesterday afternoon-- and then we were off. He'd arranged to walk to school with a friend who lives close to campus, so he drove me to said-friend's house. It was my first time riding with him, and for a very new driver, he did well. He narrated his every move aloud (as he often does) and that made me smile, mostly because it showed how focused he was on getting the details down pat. 

As it turns out, he doesn't have many friends in his classes, which I know is disappointing, but I know he'll figure it out. So I'm grateful that he had a decent day. And I'm grateful for the blessing of new beginnings and new adventures.

Speaking of new adventures, Isaac moved into his dorm today. I wish I could've been there, but there's only one of me and I know Adam did a great job of helping him get his things unpacked and set up. He finally met his roommate, Thomas, and his RA (who is also an Isaac; if you throw a rock into a group of guys at Wheaton, you'll hit an Isaac) and (I imagine) other folks. I haven't heard a lot about his experience just yet, but that's okay. He reported that the day was good, so I'm thankful for that. 

The times they are a'changin' for the residents and sometimes-residents of the Wight House. Although I'm not a huge lover of transitions, I'm grateful to know that God guides all of our steps, even when our paths separate for a time.

August 12

Brady's sophomore year of high school starts tomorrow, so he and I flew back to the Bay today. Abby stayed behind for a few more days to hang out with her friend Kam, and Adam stayed to help Isaac with move-in day, which is also tomorrow. It's a little bit of a forehead-slapper that the same thing happened four years ago --Abby moved into Wheaton on the boys' first day of school-- but it is what it is! I'm thankful that Adam could stay and be with Isaac as he begins dorm life and I'm looking forward to hearing both of their perspectives on the experience.

Anyway, we all got up very early and piled into the rental car for the drive to Midway. I thought it was sweet that Abby and Isaac came along, given that we were up pretty late last night thanks to the White Sox game. (And given that Isaac was apparently up very, very late writing notes to Brady and me. I read mine on the plane. It was wonderful and perfect and it brought tears to my eyes. He may not always enjoy writing, but he does it well when he wants to do it well. But I am, as I so often do, going off on a tangent.)

I sat mostly quietly and listened to what transpired in the backseat. I listened as the typically bravado-driven BearBear escaped from Brady's bag and asked Isaac for a hug. I listened as they laughed together and carried on their usual brand of crazy conversation that, as a Gen Xer, I only kinda-sorta understood. But confusion aside, I am grateful that I was able to bear witness to those precious interactions.

When we got to the terminal and pulled into the departures area, everyone got out of the car to hug us "see ya later." I was particularly touched when Abby, who seemed to be fighting back emotion, asked for a quick group hug. So we all came together, embraced for a few moments, and said our I love yous. And then Brady and I were off. It was the perfect way to part ways and I'm glad my girl felt compelled to ask for it.

And now, well, now I'm just plain tired. It's that combo platter of getting up early and travel and emotion that makes it unusually difficult to be eloquent. But I'm home, and I'm deeply grateful to God for the time I had with my guys on the train trip and then with all of us in Illinois. I already miss Isaac, but I know that he's walking with the Lord and I know that He will direct my sweet guy's steps. And for those truths, I am eternally thankful.

August 11

Brady and I fly back to California tomorrow, so today was our sole full day here in Illinois. And it was indeed quite full.

It began brighter and earlier than intended when the hotel fire alarm began blaring at 7 AM. Just as we were heading out the door, it went silent. So I went back to sleep, and awoke again at a little before 10. Brady asked if I would go down to the pool with him so I did, and I watched him for a few minutes until an unfamiliar alarm on my phone went off: a severe storm warning. And then a little later, another alarm announced a tornado warning and instructions to take cover. I told Brady that he needed to get out of the pool (since it's basically surrounded on all sides by big glass windows) and snagged Abby from the fitness center next door where she was jogging on a treadmill. Long story shorter, we wound up sitting in the basement ballroom of the hotel while the storm (apparently; although I saw some lightning and definitely heard thunder, I didn't see the telltale green sky nor the torrential rain and tree-bending gusts of wind that followed) raged outside. 

Once the danger passed, we went to Giordano's for lunch, and then on to Costco (which happened to be just across the street) for some necessities to get Isaac started. Then we swung by Wheaton so Isaac could pick up his books from the bookstore and Abby could retrieve her sweatshirt, which she left at Ashley's apartment last night. After a Sonic drink run, we enjoyed a short hour of downtime before heading off to the White Sox / Reds game at Rate Field. Although the Sox lost in extras after holding a lead for much of the game, it was still a fun experience. There were plenty of passionate fans in attendance and we sat in the nosebleeds where the beer flowed like water, but it was fun to be in a new-to-us stadium, just a few sections away from the bare-chested, t-shirt waving throng of men that regularly encouraged new participants to join them, disparaged Green Bay, and booed the many failed attempts at the upper deck wave. (They've been a Thing at MLB stadiums all season. I have no idea why.) It was also Pope Hat Night, so we each walked away with a Pope-style hat in honor of Chicago's own Pope Leo. (Seriously.)

Since it went into extras, the game went a little later than we'd anticipated, and the traffic getting out of the lot was pretty terrible. But on the plus side, as we wound our way down to ground level from the upper deck, we got a pretty spectacular view of the illuminated Chicago skyline. 

The food lines at the game were insanely long and all we managed to snag were some nachos, so on the way back to the hotel, we stopped at Cane's for chicken. And now, well, now I should be trying to sleep because Brady and I have an early flight, but I wanted to try to jot down some thoughts first. It's hard to believe that we're here; that tomorrow I'll be leaving my sweet Isaac for his first semester of college. I did finally give him the prayer shawl and he gave me a big hug. I'll miss him. But I know he'll do well. And I know that God will continue to direct his path. So for all of that, I am endlessly thankful.

August 10

We made it to Chicago! But I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

Our conscious day began as the train rolled into Omaha, Nebraska. It was something of a surprise to Adam and me, as we were theoretically supposed to cover the entirety of Nebraska overnight, but since we were running a few hours behind schedule, we got to touch pavement in the Cornhusker state (for about 30 seconds) during a mega-quick fresh air break after all.

After breakfast (which was a very filling quesadilla for me), we went to the Observation car, where the guys tried to teach me the new card game Isaac found yesterday via an AI search. My muddled morning brain couldn't wrap itself around the concept, but hey, at least I tried, right?

We crossed into Iowa and spent much of the day looking out at near-endless acres of corn growing on gently rolling hills. Honestly, I hadn't previously realized that Iowa was anything but flat, so it was a pleasant surprise to see all of that lush greenery rippling along the surface of the land. We had the chance to touch the ground during a brief stop in Ottumwa, where I noticed that an Amish family we'd been riding with disembarked. (Which prompted me to Google "Amish settlements in Iowa". I learned that yes, there are several. I had no idea.)

After lunch --our last meal on the Zephyr-- the four of us mostly settled into our room for the duration of the ride. Our last fresh air break was in Galesburg, Illinois, which we quickly discovered is way out there in the middle of nowhere. (So it's a good thing I noticed that our original reservation had mistakenly sent us there instead of on to Chicago and we were able to correct the goof. Finding a rental car in Galesburg would've been... challenging.)

Anyway, after we arrived and disembarked at Chicago's Union Station, we went inside. While Adam went to get the rental car from Hertz a few blocks away, Isaac, Brady, and I retrieved our checked bags and made our way to the heart of the building. And I was stunned by its beauty. Seriously, with its high ceilings, plentiful natural light, and intricate architectural details, I could've sat there and admired it for hours. (And I totally agreed with Isaac when he said it reminded him of the buildings in DC.)

And then it was on to Wheaton, where Abby was waiting for us in our hotel lobby. Isaac selected Culver's for dinner, and I ate too many cheese curds and other Culver-y yummies. And now we're back in our hotel rooms. Adam is sleeping, Isaac is next door watching something on his phone, and Abby and Brady are down in the fitness room-slash-pool. 

And me? I'm writing and reflecting. School starts Thursday for Brady, so he and I will fly back home in about 36 hours. Although it was a three-day train ride, it feels like it was a whirlwind experience. And I know that the next day will fly by at warp speed. But I'm thankful for the time with my guys and for the new memories we've made. And I'm thankful for tomorrow, too, even before it begins, because each day is a blessing from God.

August 9

I've learned a few things over the past few days. One, it's utterly exhausting to ride a train cross-country. I'm accustomed to getting my steps in each day so the limited opportunities to move around are a challenge. But two, it's really fun to ride a train cross-country. So the second thought is the one I'll carry forward.

Last night as I was lying in bed typing and fruitlessly trying to post to this blog, we were approaching the thriving metropolis of Elko, Nevada. It was pitch black out so I couldn't see much, and eventually, I fell asleep. And courtesy of a pair of smooshy earplugs I bought a few months back, I slept pretty darn well. I found that the bumps were minimal and the rolling sensation wasn't nearly as disruptive as I'd worried it would be. So that was a plus.

When I woke up, we were somewhere in eastern Utah. (My understanding is that we didn't miss all that much while we were conked out.) Brady was already up so we roused Isaac from his slumber at 7 and headed to the dining car for breakfast. Fortunately, it seemed like lots of folks weren't interested in eating, so we received our identical plates of Amtrak Signature French toast in record time. As we ate, we rode through some rather lovely topography in the aptly named Ruby Canyon, so we were able to leave Utah feeling like the entire state wasn't just incredibly dull. (Sorry to the Utah peeps!) 

We enjoyed a few fresh air stops throughout the rest of the day, including one in Green River, Utah, and then several in Colorado as we rode alongside the Colorado River, including Grand Junction, Glenwood Springs, Granby, Fraser-Winter Park, and most recently, Denver. After lunch as the first few stops, Adam and Isaac took naps and Brady hung out in the boys' room while I went to the observation car solo. Although it was hot as blazes in there (an a/c issue unfortunately), I got some pretty spectacular views of the Colorado River and the towering valley above between Glenwood Springs and Gypsum. It was rather overcast, but the natural beauty was just mesmerizing. 

For the remainder of the day, we spent time playing cards in the observation car and hung out in our room (which was admittedly a tight fit but it was still fun) watching the scenery and just enjoying one another's company. Adam helped out by sharing Googled information about some of our stops, including the utterly bizarre Granby Bulldozer Rampage of 2004. We braved the 6.2 mile Moffat Tunnel and took some silly pictures in the dark using a function on my game phone that I didn't previously know about. And I finished working on a shawl I'd been making and entertained the notion of giving it to Isaac to keep whenever he needs a hug from his mama at school. I had him throw it around his shoulders and he wore it until we got up to go to dinner; I wanted to tell him to keep it and why I wanted him to keep it, but my eyes welled up with tears every time I thought about it. I'll try again before I fly home.

We finished the day with dinner and then an extended fresh air break in Denver. We had no idea that the Rockies' stadium was literally right next to the train station, so it was pretty cool to get to see it in person (even if the Rockies are really, really bad).

I probably left out a lot of details I could've included, but the main points are that we had another good day hanging out together, and I'm grateful for the time I've had doing something new with my boys. So for that, I am very grateful.

August 8

As I write, I'm sitting on the bottom bunk in a sleeper car room aboard the California Zephyr. We're about halfway across Nevada and although it's only 9 PM Pacific time, the dark sky and the intermittent, not-so-distant wail of the train whistle makes it feel considerably later. We're on our way to Chicago. The first chapter of Isaac's college experience is being written as I type.

We arose early and Adam secured Mickey D's breakfast for us (per Isaac's request) as my sweet boy finished packing. Then we loaded into the Explorer bound for the Martinez Amtrak station, where Adam's parents met us so they could return the car to our driveway. (Big thanks to them for the assist.)

We boarded the train and the adventure formally began. There were some snafus, the most significant being that our pre-booked adjoining rooms wound up being in different sleeper cars, but the boys seemed okay with being on their own (especially when they realized they'd wound up with a bigger room). 

Throughout the day, we enjoyed lunch and dinner in the dining car. The patty melt and the Angus burger both proved to be winning afternoon picks, while all four of us appreciated the very rich chocolate spoon cake presented for dessert after dinner. We also visited the observation car on multiple occasions (since not surprisingly, there didn't seem to be a lot of folks interested in taking a long look at much of Nevada's scenery and the tables were a great place to play cards). We got off during the "smoke break stop" at Reno and walked up and down the platform. (It was hot. Very hot.) We messaged with Abby who is already in Wheaton hanging out with some of her besties for a few days. I crocheted and chatted with Adam and he even looked up the deets on the prison we spotted in nowheresville. And we watched the scenery go by and realized just how big and majestic this country really is. 

It was, I think, a good day. The photos don't really do the experience justice; I took a lot and Adam took a lot but the internet connection isn't great so it's really just a loosely representative collage that I threw together using Google. 

I'm not entirely sure that I'm going to be able to sleep much, but I'm grateful for the bed (even if it uses up every square inch of floor space) and I'm grateful that Adam took the upper bunk and that there's a harness up there to keep him from falling out, because once I got over the shock of it I'd probably laugh and that would be uncool. And I'm grateful that we're able to be present for Isaac as this next phase of his life begins.

August 7

"My head feels like it's workin' overtime on nothing."

That's what Isaac said after dinner, and I don't think I've ever related to a statement quite like I relate to this one. 

It was his response when I reminded him --for the sixth or seventh time (had to -- he loves that 6/7 thing)-- that he still needed to pack because we leave in the morning for Wheaton. It was, I think, his way of saying that he felt overwhelmed and needed a bit more time to process the looming reality. So he asked to play a few hands of cards first, and then we went and got ice cream at The Dairy (where Tyler, his long-time good friend, took our order), and then he played catch with Brady in the yard, and then Adam and I took Abby to the airport while he figured out which video games to take to school. (She's flying out to spend a few days with her friends; the rest of us are taking the train. It'll be an experience!) And now, now that it's almost midnight, he's munching his way through a Totino's pizza while slowly packing up his things. Processing reality in his own way, in his own time.

And I guess I'm doing the same: processing reality in my own way, in my own time. I haven't really let myself be sad about him leaving, but today the chinks in my armor widened and I cried more than once. I know he'll do wonderfully well at college; he's a people-person and college is an amazing place for people-people. And I know that God holds him in the palm of His hand and will continue to do so. But as the one who carried him for nine months and watched him grow from a chunky baby into a wide-eyed toddler and then on to a conscientious kid and a responsible, caring, sweet teen and now young adult, it's hard to watch him take those steps away from me.

Still, I'm grateful to be his mom. And I'm grateful to know that God has great things in store for him.

August 6

We're down to the last few days before Isaac goes to Wheaton. He has a list but still needs to pack up his things, which makes me a wee bit nervous, but I appreciate how he's approaching his departure by prioritizing time with his friends and family.

Like today, for example, he had his friends over one more time to play video games this afternoon. They were louder than loud, but I chuckled aloud numerous times at their enthusiasm at their vibrant brotherhood.

After they left, Isaac and Brady engaged in one of their customary wrestling matches. No one really "won," but there was much joviality. And again, it made me smile. (And I recorded it for posterity's sake.)

And then this evening, he went and had an early dinner with Bruce from Young Life and Tyler. I know they're both important people in his life, so I'm grateful that he eked out time to spend with them before he leaves. Transitions are tough, but I'm thankful to God that my sweet son is handling his in a way that makes good sense.

August 5

Isaac's college departure date is approaching rapidly, so we're mostly lying low and hanging out as a group while we can.

This evening, after his friends had left and we'd finished with dinner (and the A's game ended with yet another loss -- talk about a tough season), he said he'd like to watch "The Lego Movie." So that's what we did.

Although I cringe at the thought that "Everything is Awesome" may well play in my head on repeat for the next few days, it was truly fun to watch it again. It's great family-fare, full of silly jokes and sillier characters. And it serves as a good reminder that we're all unique and special in our own ways, just as God made us to be. 

August 4

The bros had a laser tag event with the Youth Group this evening, so we packed up and left the cabin this morning after breakfast.

It's a custom of ours to stop at the candy store in Murphy's for treats during the drive home. Given that today is a weekday and we're usually coming through on a weekend, it was delightfully easy to find parking in the little lot behind the store, and the store itself wasn't busy.

We took our time choosing our respective candies (except for Isaac, who knew going in that he wanted sarsaparilla drops. He really, really likes sarsaparilla). Eventually, Brady selected a mix of gummy bears and pink pigs, Adam chose soft licorice, and I doubled up with a single dark chocolate peanut butter cup and a mix of cherry, cinnamon, peppermint, and raspberry hard candies. After a failed phone call to inquire, we made the collective decision to take Abby gummy octopi. (She was, as it turned out, disturbed by their spider-like form.)

Anyway, I'm grateful to re-experience a fun tradition. And I'm grateful for a safe trip back home, too.

August 3

The menfolk and I had a good full day in the Sierras.

It started off with our customary Cabin-breakfast, as Adam whipped up pancakes (made extra fluffy courtesy of the elevation), scrambled eggs, and bacon, and glasses of apple cider. (I had my coffee courtesy of the resident Nespresso machine.)

After we'd all gotten dressed, we drove down to the rec center, where we played 18 "holes" of frisbee golf, which has become one of Isaac's very favorite sports. He learned it at Young Life camp and loves it, so he was eager to introduce it to us. Isaac, naturally, came out on top, but all of the guys fared well. I, conversely, finished with the highest score, but given that I've yet to meet a sport that I'm good at, I'll be pleased with that "accomplishment" and take my participation ribbon.

It was lunchtime by the time we departed the rec center, so we headed to Arnold. Our intended destination was closed, so we made a game-time decision to try out a small strip mall cafe called the Heart and Soul Country Kitchen. Although we went in not knowing what to expect, we wound up with enormous portions (seriously, my crabcake po boy special was as big as my head and included a mound of crispy garlic truffle fries). The servers were friendly and the food was good, so I'd call it a win.

We returned to the cabin and rested for a little while before the boys pulled out Fast Food Franchise and played a round. (Adam dominated big-time.) Dinner was a mix of leftovers (for me) and snack food and potato creations (because of course Brady brought along his big bag of Russets!), followed by a few hands of cards and big slices of apple pie. Even Brady, who is a self-proclaimed hater of all pie, gobbled his up, insisting "it's just apples." I excused myself from the gaming and the guys took a walk, and then returned to play Stratego while I crocheted. 

Phew. There were many blessings sprinkled throughout the past 12 hours, and I am grateful to God for all of them. I am thankful that I got to experience one of Isaac's favorite things in frisbee golf (or frolf, as he calls it). I am thankful that I got to listen to the guys laugh as they played games. And I'm thankful that I got to watch Brady and Isaac standing at the kitchen counter side by side working on their food. We only have a few more days left until Isaac heads off to school, so I'm trying to soak up the sweet moments as best I can because togetherness is a blessing.

August 2

After church this morning, Adam, Isaac, Brady and I loaded into the Explorer and set off for the cabin. (Abby has school so she had to stay home this go-round.)

It was an uneventful trip, with a stop at Sonic in Tracy for lunch and giant beverages (ahh, the sweet, sweet Route44 is a road trip must-have). Brady was in charge of the playlist, so there was much Morgan Wallen and Jordan Davis heard and a running joke about the reality that we were traveling behind Doc Hudson along one of the windy central valley roads. (Really. There were three old cars --the Doc Hudson double, a '32 Ford Adam dubbed The Tricycle, and a Barracuda-- that drove along right at the speed limit, infuriating drivers for miles on end.) At Adam's mom's suggestion, we stopped at the Red Apple to pick up an apple pie (and some apple cider and dried apricots).

Once we arrived, the boys braved the 90-degree heat and went outside to throw the frisbee while I crocheted and Adam took a cat nap. A little later, once Adam and Isaac wrapped up a board game, we went down to the Snowshoe Brewery for dinner. As usual, we enjoyed our entrees as well as the soft pretzels with beer cheese.

Back at the cabin, the male folk worked on trying to solve a collection of metal puzzles Adam pulled out of the game closet while I continued crocheting. They closed out the day with another strategy game and apple pie.

It was, all in all, a good day. I wish Abby could've made the trip with us, but I'm proud of her for all of the work she's done toward earning her credential this summer. So for a safe journey and new memories (and for Abby watering my tomato plants for me since I forgot!), I am thankful.

August 1

I welcomed August by enjoying tea downtown with Nikki and her mom.

Although it was a bit of a scorcher outside and the tea definitely warmed me up from the inside out (as it always does), it was pleasant inside the RoyalTea shop. Nikki, Pam, and I enjoyed the usual assortment of savory and sweet treats along with a quartet of teas served up in whimsical pots. (I still think the strawberry pot should've been topped with the strawberry lid.)

It was a blessing to be able to sit with them and just chat about the summer's happenings and the coming soons.

So for the blessing of friendship --and especially longer-term ones!-- I am very thankful.

July 31

Today is Logan's 20th birthday. How we went from age 5 to age 20 so quickly is utterly baffling, but here we are.

Adam took the day off, and we went to Outback for lunch (since Logan loved that brown bread; and in fact, we wound up with three little loaves this time around, because the first one took quite a while to emerge from the kitchen and our server felt badly about it). 

We mostly did our own things this afternoon, with Brady going to a hitting lesson, Adam and Isaac playing a video game together, Abby working on a school project, and me crocheting. And then this evening, we convened for our customary Logan's birthday dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, followed by a viewing of "Cars" and chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

It was a good day, filled with familiar things that remind us of Logan and who he was while he was here. And I am grateful to God for the time spent with my favorite people celebrating the one who can't be with us right now.

But it's also morphed into a bittersweet day, because with each passing year, I feel more and more like I'm missing out on really knowing my oldest son. He loved "Cars" and chocolate cake and spaghetti and meatballs and Outback's brown bread when he was here with us. When he was five years old. But I don't get to know what he would like as a 20-year old young man. Would he prefer vanilla now? Would he still have a taste for luxury brands like Lexus and BMW? Would that big smile of his still come easily? I don't get to know. And sometimes, the not knowing is hard on me. I've had the gift of watching Abby and Isaac and Brady grow up and mature and change over time, and although change is never an easy thing, watching them make decisions and become more independent is a gift because it's part of the design of this human life. And it makes me sad that I don't get to watch Logan make choices and learn and grow. It will never make sense, at least not on this side of Heaven.

But I know that despite my feelings, God has a plan and His plan is good. So for that knowledge and for time with family and for the chance to celebrate our sweet Logan once again, I am thankful. Happy 20th birthday, my sweet Sunshine. I love you.

July 30

Abby reminded me this morning that today was Miracle Treat Day at DQ, and since tomorrow is Logan's 20th birthday and he spent a lot of time at Children's Hospital Oakland (which is called something else these days but... oh well. It's forever CHO to us), I took her and the Brositos to get Blizzards to support the cause in his name.

We all had Blizzards, but our orders were as different as we are: Isaac went with a mint concoction, while Abby enjoyed strawberry and angel food cake, Brady picked cookie dough, and I loaded up on different forms (cream, syrup, and chip) of chocolate.

When I'd finished mine, I went back inside to donate a dollar so I could write Logan's name on one of the little paper hot air balloons that line the walls during CMN events. Even though it breaks my heart a little to write "in memory of..." I still feel blessed by the care he received while he was a patient, and I'm grateful to God for the work they continue to do to benefit children. And I'm thankful to have the resources to help support such a vital mission on earth.

July 29

I think it's safe to say that Isaac and Brady are getting in lots of quality bro time of late.

And by "quality bro time" I mean "wrestling, grabbing, lifting, carrying, and otherwise engaging in physical combat and or activity." They engage in such-behavior from morning til bedtime, so it goes on all day long (with breaks, of course. They're not machines). Every day.

And although the good-natured roughhousing can be a lot (and I mean A LOT) sometimes, I'm letting it go because I figure they need the time to connect and bond before Isaac heads off to Wheaton.

They've always had a solid brotherly connection. Way back when, Brady said he planned to work as a miner so he could fund Isaac's baseball career with all of the gold he dug up. And he meant it. And Isaac has always felt extraordinarily protective of Brady. And that's always shown.

I think it's going to be a big adjustment for both of them to be a few thousand miles apart, but I'm praying that the time they spend together now --and have had together in the past-- will serve as a good foundation that will keep them bonded for the long haul. Because as someone who doesn't have a sister and can't relate to their connection, I've always believed that brotherhood is a special gift from God.

July 28

I didn't take many photos today, and the ones that I did take are of me trying to figure out if my hair is really as dark as it seems. Kind of silly, I guess, but for the moment, the answer is yes. It is dark.

And it's dark because I got my hair done this morning. Lately, that process involves a toner mixture to blend out some of the ever-increasing grey population. It'll wash out gradually but for now, it works. And I don't feel quite as dowdy as I did before.

It's not about vanity, really; it's more about feeling neat. So for the blessing of small things that make me feel a little more put together, I am grateful. 

July 27

Isaac left for an overnight trip to Napa with his pals this morning so it was just me, Abby, and Brady today.

Brady returned to his recent kitchen-related hobby by air frying another potato dish. (He followed the same basic recipe as one of last week's experiments and changed up the seasoning a little. He said he definitely preferred them with panko.)

Abby, meanwhile, went for her run, then showered and emerged wearing her giant pink fuzzy thing. As she was putting taquitos in the oven, she crab-skittered across the kitchen floor with oven mitts on her hands. I asked her to do it again; she refused, but she posed in crab-position.

She will probably dislike this image, but it made me laugh so I kept it. I love her silly side. She hides it much of the time, but it's pretty funny when she lets it go. So for the blessing of lighthearted moments, I am thankful.

July 26

Isaac had some of the guys over late this afternoon.

They rumbled up the front steps and through the front door and deposited their shoes in a pile before hanging a left into the living room. (They've been here frequently enough now that they know and respect the no-shoes-in-the-house rule, and I appreciate their collective conscientiousness.)

And then the usual chaos began as they gassed up the gaming system and got down to the business of playing Mario Party, I think it was. 

Although I'm definitely sensitive to noise, their cacophony is always kind of beautiful because it symbolizes that good, safe fun is happening. And I'm grateful to God for providing us with a home that can accommodate that kind of fun for my kiddos and their friends.

July 25

It's so weird that my baby has a permit and is actually learning how to drive. On public roads where other people are driving.

I mean, isn't he like five years old?

But he's not five. He's 15. And Adam took him out for a few hours this afternoon to practice, just like he did so many times with Abby and Isaac. (I'll have my turn when school starts up again next month and he drives to and from Amador with me as his co-pilot.)

Although I truly do wonder where the time went, I'm grateful for this milestone. Although he doesn't exactly love driving just yet, I know that he will come to appreciate the ability to get himself from point A to point B. And I know that he will (probably silently) appreciate the general sense of freedom and independence that having a license gives teens.

So for the blessing of being witness to yet another milestone in his life, I am thankful.

July 24

Today was Isaac's last shift at the Dairy. (I know I said it was yesterday, but he initially had the wrong date in his head.)

Anyway, after Adam wrapped up his workday, Abby, Brady, he and I piled into the car and headed over for some ice cream. Luckily for us, it wasn't super busy and Isaac was running orders and not taking them, so he was able to bring us our treats.

When he appeared holding Abby's milkshake and the three cones we'd ordered, I spied a hand-written sign taped to his shirt that read "It's My Last Day." I pointed it out and snapped a pic, and he half-chuckled and said he wasn't thrilled about wearing it.

But I'm glad he did, because it's right that he should be recognized in some way on his last day. He's had fun working there over the past year-plus. He's made some friends and learned a bit about how a business runs. And he's had the opportunity to talk to probably thousands of people. That job has been a great match for his personality, allowed him to build up some savings, and taught him about responsibility. Although he doesn't like it when I say this, I'm proud of him for taking it on and for doing a great job. 

So for all of those good gifts, I am grateful. 

July 23

I don't particularly enjoy cooking, probably because a handful of picky eaters who shall remain unnamed didn't care for culinary variety during their early years. But I did have more fun than I expected helping Brady make dinner today. 

While he was trying to figure out what he wanted to eat this afternoon, he pulled a box of Bisquick out of the pantry with an eye toward preparing pancakes. (With chocolate chips, since we have a big bag on the shelf.) 

But a recipe for cheeseburger pie printed on the back of the box caught his eye, and he decided he wanted to make that instead. Since it was a multi-step process, I suggested he wait a few hours and make it for dinner, with an assist from me. He agreed, so off to the store we went for ground beef and an onion, the two things we didn't already have on-hand.

When the clock struck 5:45, we got to work. We walked through the steps of the recipe together, and he did most of the actual prep and clean-up, from dicing the onion (with sunglasses in place) to washing the dishes. I was mainly the supervisor who cracked the eggs and carefully slid the very full pie plate into the oven. And told him how "brown" was "brown enough" for the cooked beef and which knife he should use to cut the onion. (And many other little details that I've had filed away in my brain for years that he didn't yet know.) And the final product? I thought it was pretty tasty, so it was a win.

It's such a gift to be able to spend quality time with my kiddos that doubles as education. Of course, I try to "teach" them every day with how I react to them and to others and to situations, but to be able to share knowledge I've acquired over my own lifetime that will expand their own bodies of practical knowledge feels special. So tonight I am grateful to God for the time with Brady and for his willingness to listen and learn.

July 22

Isaac's last day of work at the Dairy is tomorrow, and since Abby has evening class, she wanted to be sure she got to see him on-shift one more time.

So she, Brady, and I loaded into my loaner car (because two and a half weeks later, my car is still at BMW waiting for its new hybrid battery) and headed over to get some ice cream early this afternoon.

Isaac was working the register so he wasn't able to make our cones for us, but he did see us in the walk-up line and waved animatedly in our direction. And when he had a free moment, he did come over to say hello and to introduce us to one of his co-workers. 

He's a good kiddo, and I'm grateful that he's had the opportunity to work this job. I know he's enjoyed the experience and I appreciate how it's taught him more about financial responsibility than he ever could have learned from school alone. So for the blessings of first jobs and for the taste of fresh ice cream on a summer afternoon, I am grateful.

July 21

As I left the house to pick up Brady from church this afternoon, I spied a plume of brown and white smoke as it rose above the nearby hills and into the blue sky. Although I had an inkling that it probably wasn't a good thing to see smoke on a very dry 100-degree day, I didn't think much of it at the time.

But then I checked the Watch Duty app and saw that the smoke I saw was from a wildfire that started in nearby Sunol. And I watched as, over just a short period of time, the fire spread from 75 acres to 150. And then to 400. And then I watched as mandatory evacuation orders appeared on the map. And I listened as helicopters and planes flew by overhead, providing air assistance to the ground crews.

When Ruby Hill --a community a few miles down the road from us-- received evac orders, I calmly told the boys to gather up their irreplaceable prized possessions just in case. And I texted Abby (who was at school) and Adam (who was at work) and asked them if there was anything they wanted me to get for them, too. I packed up photo albums and mementos and important documents, and watched with interest as my kiddos chose their own irreplaceables: Isaac picked items from my grandma's house and Bibles and things he'd handwritten over the years. Brady grabbed BearBear, Chub, Bagger, and Froggy, who are his four favorite stuffies, and the ring he got for winning a baseball tournament last year. (I almost cried when he plunked them down on the dining room table and declared "just about everything else can be replaced.") Abby wanted Pilly and Blankie (which, quite obviously, were her childhood pillow and blanket), and Adam requested a book of pictures Logan drew.

The fire grew to 950 acres and the evacuation line came within a single street of our house, so we literally sat around waiting for directions. Isaac meandered between the deck outside --looking up at the sky and the helicopters and the planes-- and inside. Brady followed me from room to room. Eventually, I sat down on the steps near the front door, and Brady plunked down nearby while Isaac settled into the dining room across the way. I prayed aloud for the firefighters and for everyone affected by the fire. 

The evac line hadn't moved in a few hours, so Adam and I decided over text that we'd offer to take the boys to dinner with us. And they agreed to go. We packed all of our irreplaceables into the Explorer (just in case something changed), and went downtown to Strizzi's.

Since then, the evac lines have been pulled back, and we're no longer on the edge of the danger zone. I'll still probably sleep with one eye open and I'm not in a hurry to unpack my irreplaceables, but I'm grateful that the immediate threat seems to have been resolved.

Although the experience stressed me out, I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to see what my children view as their prized possessions. And I'm grateful that they --at least in my opinion-- chose well: they went with sentimental items like photos and writings and things that hold special memories for them. (And I'm also grateful for the reminder that I should get to work on digitizing all of my old film photos.)

And beyond all of that, I am grateful to God for being with every single person who is out doing hard, demanding work in hot weather to keep the rest of us safe. I am thankful that He gave each of them the desire to serve and the bravery to serve well.

July 20

The house was still and quiet when I got back from my coffee outing this morning. A few minutes later, Isaac padded down the stairs and joined me in the kitchen. He confirmed that he'd already eaten and aimlessly circled the island a few times, so I asked if he wanted to play Go Fish. 

And since he's a do'er, he said yes. (I was pretty sure he would when I asked.) So I retrieved a deck of cards from the nearby desk and we played several rounds of Go Fish at the kitchen table.

It wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it gave us the chance to connect. As we played, I asked him questions: which of his friends are going to leave for school first? (Probably him, he said.) What is he looking forward to about going to college? (Learning, he said. Learning things he's interested in learning about and not what the school says he should learn; that's what I knew he meant. And also seeing snow, he said.)

We sat and shuffled and Go Fished until he said he needed to take a shower and get ready to head to work. 

It was just a few hands of cards, but I'm grateful to God for the time spent with my soon to be college guy.