December 31

A year ago right now, I was sitting on the comfortable old couch-from-my-childhood in my grandma's dimly lit family room in Maryland watching TV with Adam and waiting for the ball to drop in New York City. I'm not sure what I expected from 2018 in that moment; I was 11 days from turning 40 and though I was apprehensive about leaving my 30s behind, I also felt a genuine sense of enthusiasm over what could be. I'd really enjoyed 2017 and was excited to see what the next chapter would hold.

Three-hundred and sixty-five days later, as I sit here on my own couch in my own house watching an embarrassingly terrible Lifetime movie with Adam and Abby, I can say with a sober sense of certainty that 2018 was a challenging year for me. There were lots of tears and moments of frustration and feelings of inadequacy that surfaced that undermined my confidence, and in some cases, my very sense of self.

So with a year that I'd call less than a recent favorite nearly in the record books, I'm looking forward to the promise of 2019. I'm looking foward to new beginnings and new adventures and new chances to make memories with friends both near and far, and new and old. And I'm looking forward to spending lots of my time with these people; these amazing people who I'm blessed to call my little family. Because for the blessing of them, I will always be thankful.

Happy New Year to you. Remember to look for God's little winks to you in 2019.

December 30

Isaac decided he wanted to put together a puzzle a few days ago, so he dumped the pieces of one of my 1,000 piece'rs on the kids' table in the living room. He hasn't made much progress on it --none, really-- but as I passed it by a little while ago, I had a thought.

Sometimes I feel like my life resembles this disassembled mess: bits and pieces haphazardly strewn about. Sometimes those bits and pieces wind up on the floor (or even in the vacuum) and I feel like I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make them all make sense.

But the good news? Those pieces will eventually come together to form a really cool, complete --and maybe even a little bit beautiful-- picture. And that is a very good thing.

December 29

I got up early (for me) for a Saturday so I could go with Adam and Brady to the latter's last swim class of the season. I knew he had the chance to pass his swim test so I wanted to be there to see him achieve the big goal. And... he did it. He got his medal and certificate of completion.

I can't lie: as I watched him touch the wall after his final lap of freestyle and then successfully complete a flip turn, I felt a tinge of sadness rise in my chest. After several years, we're done with swim lessons. Another chapter of their growing-up years is, in a tangible way, officially finished.

It's always bittersweet when a familiar, comfortable constant comes to an end. They will, of course, move on to other activities: there's the next season of baseball in the spring for the boys, and whatever else Abby may decide she wants to try out, too. And there will always be more new beginnings. So though I feel a wee bit of nostalgia over this chapter's conclusion, I'm interested to see what the future will hold. Football? (No.) Soccer? (A little more palatable.) Hockey? (H-E-double no.) Track? (Could be.) Anything could come to fruition. And for that, I'm thankful.

December 28

Isaac is the most sensitive of our children. I don't even have to think much before I write that because it's an obvious truth. Since he is so sensitive --as am I, for the record-- I'm often concerned about how he's feeling, and try to steer him toward activities that will give him a boost of self-confidence.

This is a pretty awful photo, but the green dot on the far right is him batting during his baseball class tonight. After smacking a quartet of line drives, he walked behind the net so the next kid could have his turn. And as he did, he wore a big grin.

He can be so hard on himself that it's a blessing to when he's outwardly pleased with something he's done.

December 27

I woke up this morning feeling like I needed to pray for a particular person. So I did. The feeling persisted throughout the day, so I just kept silently praying as I went about my business, which included a doctor's appointment, a trip to the store, a walk around the park, and a(n unexpected but probably needed) nap by the Christmas tree.

As it happened, I did --by dinner time-- discover that those prayers were actually indeed needed.

I may not always get what I pray for, but I'm thankful every time I'm prompted to lift up someone else. Prayer increases faith, and that's definitely something we can all use to make it through this all-too human life we live.

December 26

There was a chair shortage at dinner tonight, so Brady offered to stand.

Since he's Brady, "I'll stand" actually meant "I'll dance and wiggle and make sassy comments while I stand and eat my food." So, of course, that's what he did.

Although I don't always appreciate his commentary, I always appreciate how he makes me laugh aloud with some of his antics. Given that I haven't had a whole lot to laugh about this year, I'm thankful for the silly moments when they come my way.

December 25

All in all, it was a good Christmas Day at the Wight house. The troops paraded into my room at 8 to tell me it was time to get up, and we all headed downstairs to raid stockings and open presents. Brady provided plenty of witty commentary, Abby drooled over a book about "Hamilton," and Isaac nailed his gift to me so completely that I teared up the moment I saw it. While we unwrapped, there was the traditional tree from Adam's mom, cinnamon rolls, and plenty of candy to go around. (And coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer for me. Two cups. I wasn't messing around.)

As the hours bent toward afternoon, Adam and I took a walk around the Sports Park and soon after, we all headed over to the cemetery to leave a new Car-with-a-face on Logan's grave. Shortly before dinner (pot roast -- my usual Christmas entree), I Facetimed my family back in Maryland, which I hadn't done before. (Why? I have no idea.) It was great to see my brothers and my mom and my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew and my 96-year old grandma, who was amazed that she could actually talk to us face-to-face and see us over the phone. Then during dinner, we watched "The Grinch". And now, with Isaac and Brady in bed, Adam and Abby and I are settling in to watch "Ocean's Eight."

So yes. All in all, it was a good Christmas Day at the Wight house; one filled with the blessing of family. And for that, I'm thankful.

December 24

After a pretty kick-back kind of morning, we drove up to Lafayette this afternoon to celebrate Christmas Eve with Adam's original immediate family. (I never know how to word that, but you know what I mean, right?) We opened presents and enjoyed a meal and talked. And we took this year's version of this photo. (I went back and forth on whether I wanted to use the regular version or the silly one, and though it was a tough decision, the regular won out in the end.)

I love photos and I love traditions, so it stands to reason that I'd double love a photo tradition. And I do indeed. There's just something so satisfying about seeing elements of both change and constancy over the passage of time encapsulated in a set of images.

So for tradition (and photos!) and family and friends who are like family, I'm grateful. Merry Christmas Eve!

December 23

Our Christmas tree has been up and illuminated since a few days after Thanksgiving, but we only got around to adding ornaments today after church. I have a huge collection of them that dates back to my very early childhood days, but this year, I decided we should keep it simple and use only the ones the kids have made over the years. It's always a heartwarmer for me to pull the bejeweled and glitter-doused picture frames, the dough cut-outs, and the paper Lightning McQueens from that box I keep safely atop the bookshelf in our room, and the sentiment was no different this go-round.

Another no-so-different experience followed when we'd finished the decorating and us grown-ups asked the short people to pose for pictures. There was grousing of course, and then there was the requisite amount of Wight silliness. This is actually one of the tamer pics in the sequence Adam snapped.

If I leave this year with any grand revelation, it'll be that this life is hard. But it's also exciting and challenging and filled with opportunities to be --and do-- better. And sometimes --like this picture suggests-- it's even kind of fun. So for that blessing --and for me being open to seeing it-- I'm thankful.

December 22

Cookie decorating is one of our long-standing holiday traditions, and with Christmas just a few days away, we finally got around to it today.

Years past have seen the short people rushing through the process, haphazardly shaking containers of red and green sugar and red hots and snowflakes over not-yet-baked gingerbread bells and trees and angels and Lightning McQueens. But not this time; this time all three of them spent more than an hour meticulously adorning their trays of cookies. And they all --quite objectively-- did beautiful work.

I'm thankful for the blessing of tradition.

December 21

Tonight we hit the Chick Fil A drive thru and then drove around town checking out some of the more ornate Christmas light displays. The evening featured numerous lights-timed-to-music spectacles, an impromptu kid singalong to "Can't Stop the Feeling!" (which honestly, still puzzles me), and then our final stop of the night: Widmer World.

It's hardly a family tradition for us since we only started getting out of the car to walk around back a few years ago, but it's still quite the experience. And this year, unlike previous years, there was an impressive line to get in to see the display. The short people kept the wait interesting, with the boys huddling with Adam for warmth, and an exuberant "I survived my first finals" Abby with her arm thrown across my shoulders virtually belting tunes from "Les Mis."

Yep, they're all a little crazy at times, but I love every second of blessed, blissful nuttiness they add to my life.

December 20

I'd planned to use an entirely different photo today, but then I took this one this evening after dance and changed my mind.

Today is Gracie's 15th birthday, and Abby did her part to try to embarrass her. :) Kidding. (Mostly. I'm pretty sure Abby was in the middle of singing Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" when I snapped this.)

I cannot adequately express how much I adore these two girls both separately and as a pair. I think they bring out the best in each other and I love how they can laugh together and support each other when things aren't particularly funny.

I know (from experience) how rare that kind of relationship is, and I'm beyond happy and blessed that Abby has found that special kind of kinship.

December 19

Tonight while Abby was at her youth group study session at church, Adam and I took the divide and conquer route with Isaac and Brady. While the former headed off with Adam to shop for presents for Abby and Brady, I took the latter for the same purpose. And while we were at Walmart, I stopped to take a selfie with the dancing Santa.

I did it for two reasons. First off, because Abby wanted me to take one last week but the Santa was swarmed by kids at the time so I couldn't get to it. And secondly, because it was a weird thing to do. I'm by nature fairly predictable and straight-laced, but sometimes, it's does my heart good to just do something silly. Life isn't supposed to be all seriousness all the time, after all.

December 18

I came downstairs a little while ago and happened upon this scene in the family room. That, right there on the left, is a high school freshman studying for her first-ever batch of final exams. And she belongs to me.

It's insanity that she's already 14. Of course a lot has happened over her lifetime thus far --lots of good and, unfortunately, a really hefty dose of bad-- but I'm thankful that she's here next to me on the couch reviewing math because it means she's still growing and thriving.

December 17

Adam has been with Intel since we graduated from college. Although the company has been really good to our family over the years, I've always been a bit bummed by how few opportunities I've had to meet his co-workers. So naturally I was happy to be included in a holiday dinner tonight. (And yeah, I know I probably sound like I'm on crack for being happy about a work party.)

After I settled the kids in for the evening (and reminded Isaac and Brady that Abby was indeed in charge of them and that yes, they had to listen to her), I drove down to Santa Clara, picked Adam up at his office, and headed over to a lovely steakhouse. I had the chance to meet his boss and a handful of other people who work for him (and for people who work for him. The organizational structure is a little complex).

It may seem like a small thing, but it meant something to me to be able to see and talk to some of the people he deals with on a daily basis. So for that blessing --and the blessing of being included!-- I'm thankful.

December 16

After six weeks of rehearsals, the kids at church presented the Christmas play during this morning's service. Brady played a pair of parts --an angel and the star-- while Isaac assumed the lofty role of God.

It wasn't your typical nativity; although there was a video played that featured the kids acting out the usual scenes (including a particularly amusing moment that showed an on-all-fours Brady decked out as a cow), the live production told the story of Jesus' birth from a Heavenly perspective.

The cast did an amazing job of sharing the Word and watching my Little Boys be part of it brought a combo platter of laughter to my heart and tears to my eyes. For that blessing, I'm thankful.

December 15

There's just something precious about watching a bunch of second graders play basketball.

Brady's team took part in their second game of the "season" this afternoon, and just like last week, they kinda-sorta dominated the opposition.

Brady didn't score this time, but he did do his part via a bunch of really impressive passes into heavy traffic. He has this way of hurling the ball that makes it totally obvious that baseball is his primary sport, and watching him do it always makes me laugh.

So for that blessing of laughter, I'm thankful.

December 14

Today is Brady's eighth birthday. He woke up fairly congested but still bounced out of bed and headed off to school with a reasonable measure of cheer. After school, he walked laps during running club, patiently endured a very long wait to take his birthday pics, visited Santa, and had dinner (and the much-desired and repeatedly requested sundae) at his pick, CPK. Then we capped off the celebration with presents followed by a chocolate cake with blue frosting (because it had to be blue!). All in all, I think he had a good day.

It's weird to think that he's already eight; the child I carried when I found out Logan was so sick is already eight years old. Brady certainly saved me more than once way back then, and though things have changed quite a lot over time, he still "saves" me sometimes with his comic timing, intelligence, spunk, and heart.

He's a big little part of our family and we are beyond blessed to have him as a branch on our tree. Happy birthday, Brady. I love you!

December 13

This has been a common scene of late:

After school, this little girl runs up to Brady, says hi, and proceeds to chase him around the playground. He evades capture for a little while until she bops him on the head a few times, giggles, and says "bye Braaaaaaady!" and runs off.

It's cute, and beyond that, it's a blessing to see him in relationship with his classmates.

December 12

After I finished trolling the first floor to get in the last of my self-imposed requisite steps for today, I lay down under the Christmas tree for a few minutes and looked up at the lights.

It was a wee bit cool (because our living room has a vaulted ceiling and it tends to be colder on chilly days), but it was nice to sit and just breathe for a few minutes. I don't think I do that nearly often enough.

December 11

Isaac and Brady walked through Costco like this tonight.

They were both cold, and decided that huddling for warmth was the way to go.

They fight like two wild dogs sometimes (and in fact, they bickered until we made them be quiet on the drive over to the store), but they love each other, too. There's nothing quite like brotherly love --whether between actual biological brothers or just really good friends (since it's important to remember that not everyone is blessed with siblings)-- and I'm thankful for their bond.

December 10

This is where I found Abby when Isaac and I got home from baseball this evening.

I'm sure I've said this at some point in the past, but there's something just plain soothing about sitting in a room illuminated by nothing but Christmas lights. To me, it looks like how it feels to very slowly, very deliberately take and release a breath. It's like a tangible, visible moment of respite. And I'm thankful for those moments that allow me to see what I feel.

December 9

I think I've expressed this truth before, but Abby is the master of random. She does the weirdest, most unexpected things (and much of the time, I suspect she does them to make me laugh). Tonight she added another page to her strange-book, and it couldn't have been funnier (or, to be honest, more needed).

I can't remember exactly how it began, but during an evening Target run, I started giving her directions, and she followed them. To a T. I'd say 'left,' and she'd go left. I'd say 'reverse,' and she'd back up. Needless to say that since I was walking around and looking at things, I'd sometimes forget to give her directions, and like the doting silly person she is, she'd ram into walls or displays, which naturally led to laughs for me.

For that bit of levity, I'm thankful.

December 8

I was up far too early for a Saturday morning to head over to the school --by then partially caffeinated but still decidedly bleary-eyed-- for our big, brand new holiday event. But the great news is that it went really, really well. Here's some photo proof of that truth. (And while you're reading, take a very close look at Santa.)

There were many blessings built into this very busy day. Though we had a relatively small pool of volunteers, they were dedicated. The multi-purpose room was actually warm when we arrived. The pancakes and eggs (oh, the pancakes and eggs!) showed up on time. The craft area was surprisingly popular. The raffle baskets were a total hit. We took many, many photos, so the yearbook staff will have lots of choices. The clean-up effort was relatively quick and simple.

And best of all, there was a real sense of community in that room between the parents and the students and the teachers in attendance. That's not always an easy feeling to capture, so for that --and for Isaac's baseball tryouts and for Brady's first-ever basketball game (and his first-ever basket scored!), which also happened today-- I'm thankful.

And now, I'm going to bed!

December 7

It was yet another busy day for me. I began it with some work, continued by buying a new car, and then capped it all off by prepping for a big, brand new event at the school that's set for tomorrow morning.

I don't know about you, but when something finally starts to come together --especially after you worry that it's not going to work out at all-- it gives me such a rush of positive feelings. So for the volunteers who stepped up to get the details sorted and for those who joined us to help set up tonight, I'm thankful. And I'm praying that tomorrow goes off without a hitch, too.

December 6

After a morning stroll, (half of) a meeting, cleaning out a fridge, last-minute event coordination efforts, swim lessons, play practice, long-distance interview facilitation, dance, and the grocery store, I'm pretty tired. (And I feel like I've earned the glass of wuss (read: fruity sparkling) wine I'm drinking right now.) I could probably point to a dozen different rewarding moments, but this was one of my faves.

As I plated dinner, Brady cuddled up in the corner of the couch with a good book in hand. As I approached with his portion, he read a passage aloud with great expression and I couldn't help but smile.

I love that he's a good reader. (He is. It's one of the compliments his teacher paid him during his conference last month.) And I'm super-duper blessed that he is a good reader because other than contributing some genes that are probably fairly academically inclined, I haven't done a lot to help him learn how to be one. So for the blessing of him being good at something in spite of my shortcomings, I'm thankful.

December 5

'Tis the season for merriment and holiday fun. And this year, it's also new baby prep season for my friend Jen. So today, a bunch of us got together to celebrate her and her coming arrival.

It was really nice to sit around with familiar faces eating In N Out and cake and watching the expectant mama open an array of adorable outfits for her little man.

Life isn't always fun, but it's always worth celebrating.

December 4

It's been a tumultuous couple of months for me. (Which is obvious since I've mentioned that truth more than once.) One point of tension has been my PTA role, so I was a little edgy heading into my board meeting tonight. I decided to take some pressure off by putting together very (and I mean very) simple holiday thank you gifts, which I distributed when we adjourned.

I don't know if there were undertones of holiday cheer coursing through our veins or what, but the mood was decidedly lighter than it's been in recent months. I left feeling good about the discussion and the months to come -- even after I spent a few minutes very candidly sharing how the year's events have affected me on a personal level.

It's been quite a while since I've had positive feelings about my role, so for that unexpected blessing, I'm thankful.

December 3

We add a new light feature to our Christmas menagerie each year. The 2018 addition isn't actually pictured --this go-round, we went with a set of giant, sidewalk-dotting candy canes that blink red and green, red and green-- but this is a decent representation of how the display looks from the street:

I'm not sure what the new neighbors across the street (or the ones next door, for the matter) think of the bright, flashing lights (and the red and green lasers), but it makes me smile to see Olaf and Mickey and the gang happily hanging out on the driveway. And for that very small blessing, I'm thankful.

December 2

No real observations today; just a pretty picture:

After all of the smoke and the rain we've seen of late, it was nice to have an afternoon that was --for the most part-- beautiful and blue. Earthly simplicity at its best.

December 1

It may be just December 1, but it was a very Christmas-y day. After lunch, we took a horse-drawn carriage ride around the shopping center, and then stopped for a few pics with Santa. (Overcast-turned-rainy skies meant there weren't a lot of folks around, so we had plenty of time. In fact, Santa himself suggested this selfie.)

Then late this afternoon, we headed up to Adam's parents' house to trim their tree and celebrate the November and December birthdays. I'm not exactly 100% right now so I was pretty tired, but it was still fun to watch the kiddos (well, the boys anyway... the two girls in the mix are the grandchild bookends at 14 and 9 months, respectively) run around and play.

I'm a little slow getting into the swing of the holiday season, but I'm getting there. So for Christmas-centric days like today, I'm thankful.