August 31

It was a lovely morning (and not yet hot) so Adam took the boys to the Sports Park to practice baseball, and I tagged along to walk the loop.

That one little outing gave me two observations for the day. One, as someone from a baseball family --my grandpa loved it and played it and was a die-hard (as much as it makes me want to vomit writing this) Yankee fan-- I love that my boys love it as much as they do. And I love that they're so committed to improving their play. And two, there's nothing quite like taking a brisk walk on a beautiful morning.

I'm thankful that I got to open my weekend with a double blessing.

August 30

This is what my kitchen counter looks like right now:

It's a little embarrassing to cop to the fact that my house isn't exactly organized at the moment, but the dishwasher is already packed to the gills and running so there's nowhere else for them to go. And so they sit.

And you know something? As nice as it is to have everything in order, it's okay when things aren't perfect. It's okay to have dishes on the counter and Legos on the floor, because the presence of dishes means I have food on the table and the Legos mean I have kids to love. So I'm grateful for the messes that point to my blessings.

August 29

This is a terrible pic, but it's the only one I have for today so it is what it is!

Tonight was our third and final back to school night for the year, so we headed over to the high school and moved through Abby's schedule. I'm very happy to say that I found all of her teachers to be nice, engaging people who genuinely seem to enjoy working with kids. So for that not-small blessing, I'm thankful.

August 28

I went to the grocery store after dinner to troll the aisles with Nikki. When I got home, I found the kiddos harmoniously co-existing in the living room.

Issac and Brady were playing a video game, but all three were also singing tunes from "Hamilton." I didn't want to halt the sing-a-long, so I listened from the family room.

The sound of their enthusiastic voices blending together was a beautiful, beautiful thing. And I'm grateful I was present for the show.

August 27

Just a short one today. After very few allergy issues this year, they hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks a week or so ago.

So right now, I'm grateful for boxes of tissues and allergy medication and decongestant and nasal spray. And Tylenol. And the flexibility to take a mid-day nap.

August 26

Adam worked (very) late today, so after I put the boys to bed, it was just me and The Girl. After a serious conversation about friendship, she lightened the mood by playing some truly awful music on her phone. (Just for me.) Then she took it up yet another notch by playing the famed Rick Roll song, "Never Gonna Give You Up."

And then she took it up even a notch further when she jumped up from her seat on the couch and danced along with said '80s classic. She intermittently giggled and sang along, and I, being the great mom I am, recorded the show for future use.

There are many great things about my daughter and her sense of humor and comic timing are definitely two of those great things. And I'm grateful to have her around to lighten my mood when it needs a lift.

August 25

Adam's granddad passed away a few months ago, and today was the day that was set aside for his family to remember and honor his memory. So we donned our nice-casual attire this morning and headed up to Lafayette for the event.

It was a brief, simple service that featured a few of his kids sharing memories and Adam and his cousin Jenni reading scripture. And then there was time to chat with those we hadn't seen in a while before we dined on granddad's favorite dish --the so-termed Mexican stew-- for lunch. It was, all in all, a pleasant day and a fitting tribute to a great man.

I said this shortly before he died and it makes sense to repeat myself here: Adam's grandparents were (and will no doubt continue to be) amazing role models for all seven of their kids and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They lived out genuine love and commitment in a real, tangible way, and though I joined the family well into the golden years of their relationship, I was blessed to have even a glimpse of the admirable, emulation-worthy way they lived this life.

August 24

Nikki and I went downtown to get pedicures this afternoon. After sifting through the enormous stack of samples, I finally picked a color: a very light pinkish-brown with vague sparkle, which was a very, very tame choice for me. So I was surprised when, a little later, I noticed that the nail tech was painting my nails this very bright shade:

Nikki and I noticed the goof at virtually the same time, and we both started to speak up, but then I shook my head and decided to roll with it. No, it wasn't the color I'd asked for and yes, I absolutely could've asked her to start over with the correct one, but as I told Nikki, "it's just nail polish. It's just not a big deal." So bright, electric pink it is.

I thought about that remark when I got home and about how easy it was for me to brush off the tech's mistake; how simple it was to turn what could've been bitter lemons into lemonade. And it served as a good reminder to me --a huge perfectionist who stresses far too often over far too much-- that life is better when I decide not to sweat the small stuff.

August 23

Adam worked from home today and Isaac had a post-school event, so I switched up the usual pick-up routine and had Abby meet me at Starbucks after school.

I bought her a vanilla bean frap and we sat outside chit-chatting for a few minutes while I waited for the typically ghastly (I do love that word) post-release traffic to die down.

It was just a few moments, but like I say all the time (all. The. Time), life is lived less in the big events and much, much more in the everyday seconds and minutes. So I'm grateful for the time I had today with my one and only girl.

August 22

It was a warm afternoon so Brady and I got out of the car to wait for Isaac and Abby at pick-up. As we passed the time, we sat on the curb under a big, shady tree and I watched as he chattered about his day and our surroundings and wiggled his very loose tooth.

At one point, he said something that reminded me so much of Logan --in both tone and word choice-- that it took my breath away. Sometimes when that happens, I tear up, but today, I felt a surge of joy. And then I told him that sometimes, he really reminds me of his biggest brother and that though I'm grateful that he's Brady because Brady is a great person, I'm thankful for the shades of Logan that sometimes appear in his eyes.

He just nodded, appeared to mull my remarks for a moment, and then went back to wiggling that tooth. And I remained grateful for that sweet little stitch in time.

August 21

I'm going to make an ugly confession: I like approval. And acknowledgement. I know that I shouldn't; I know that the knowledge that God created me and that I'm unique and that I'm loved as I am regardless of what anyone does --or does not-- say or think is what should matter to me. And it does. Sometimes.

But I'm human, and I've had a really, really hard couple of years (okay nine. Nine years). I've taken on a handful of roles that were largely thankless, and came away from the experiences feeling drained. And unappreciated. And, in some cases, used. Given that my recent turn as PTA President was one of those roles, I was a little hesitant to accept my successor's invitation to tonight's general meeting, but I went anyway. And I when I got there, I was surprised to see myself on the agenda under an item named 'honor the outgoing president'. I was tempted to turn tail and run when I saw it (since although I crave attention, I don't handle it well!), but I didn't.

And I'm glad I stayed.

The president --who was my treasurer for most of last year and who is extraordinarily competent and will be a wonderful leader-- said some really kind things about me, and then presented me with this little pin (which is for past unit presidents).

I'm thankful that that part of my life is in the past, but I'm also thankful for the gesture and her kindness. We all need those little confidence boosters now and then, so I'm grateful.

August 20

Brady asked me if we could walk home from school at some point before his full-day schedule begins in a few weeks, and since this afternoon was a relatively cool one, I decided to honor his request today.

As we strolled, a sense of nostalgia set in because I've walked that same path with all of my kids over the course of the past 11 years. I've pushed Isaac in a stroller and heard Abby chatter about her day and listened as Logan chirped out the make and model of every car that happened to drive by.

So today, I dropped back for a moment and just watched Brady as he and his Lightning McQueen backpack be-bopped along in lockstep. And I smiled at all of those memories.

August 19

Something miraculous happened during dinner tonight. We ate in the family room, which usually leads to fighting because Abby is particularly possessive of a particular spot on the couch. So when she came down from her room and Brady had already parked himself in said-locale, I braced myself for an explosion of bickering.

But it didn't happen. She didn't say a word as she plopped down on an adjacent cushion and lifted her fork to her mouth.

'Twas a stunning turn of events and given that I'm having some irritating seasonal allergy issues today, I'm grateful for the surprise show of maturity from all involved parties. The silence is 100 percent golden.

August 18

We've been friends with Kristine since 1996, when we all met as members of the freshman class at Claremont McKenna College in southern California. So it stands to reason that we've collected lots of fun memories over the course of the last 23 years, from the time she and I (and another good friend) snapped the accelerator cable in other friend's dad's car and wound up stranded on the Grapevine one dark evening to fence-hopping in the Lake District in the UK to her serving as one of my bridesmaids 17 years ago yesterday. So we were, of course, delighted when she fell in love with a boy (because she's totally a cougar) in our town and moved here last year. And now, the happy couple is having a baby, and today, we got to celebrate her impending arrival at their baby shower.

Kristine has always been something of a brooder and she's had plenty to overcome over the duration of our friendship, but she's in a really good place right now and I'm thrilled that she's legitimately, thoroughly, delightfully happy.

Although she's not a religious person per se, I've always held her in my prayers, and I'm so thankful to see her feeling content and at ease with her life. And I really can't wait to see how much more awesome our poser-goth friend becomes when baby girl arrives and she earns her long-time-coming mommy stripes.

August 17

Seventeen years ago today, Adam and I got hitched. I don't remember a lot of the finer details that I no doubt stressed about as a nervous bride-to-be, but I do remember standing there making that commitment. And I'm grateful that we're still walking the talk even though parts of the life we've built together have been all-but impossibly hard.

Now onto today. After he brought me coffee and roses this morning, we made a late decision to take the kiddos to the A's game. (And luckily for us, it was an exciting match-up that concluded with a win.) We spent a lot of time watching baseball games during the early days of our marriage, so sitting there in the stands at the Coliseum felt like a sweet homage to what was. Then later on, after we got dinner for the kids, we got fancied up (per the pic) and went to dinner downtown by ourselves at Hap's.

It was a very nice day, and as I wrote before, I'm grateful for the 17 years we've had so far.

August 16

I was chewing on something emotionally challenging this evening and needed steps, so I asked Adam to walk the neighborhood with me. The route included a stop by the rental to close the windows for the night, and at my request, we paused and sat on the stoop for a little while and talked and listened to the silence.

Sitting there on that stoop tonight was a blessing for two different reasons. For one, a memory of being in that very spot 13 years ago, with toddler Abby and baby Logan sprawled out on a blanket on the lawn, flickered through my mind. And two, it gave me a chance to just sit with Adam and absorb his words. He usually doesn't say much when I'm upset because he's learned overly nearly 17 years of marriage that it's often better to just zip it when your wife is ranting, but this time, he was bold and shared what I think were pretty wise comments.

So for a memory of what was and intelligent words about a hard situation that just is, I'm grateful. '

August 15

Although I, like most parents, wish I could stop time now and again (or roll back the clock entirely because believe me, I'd do a whole lot if I could just bend time and space in that direction), I'm grateful that Abby, Isaac, and Brady are growing into kind, (mostly) well-adjusted human beings. And I'm also grateful that they're now old (and mature) enough that we can leave them to their own devices for a few hours on an odd evening here and there. And that's what we did tonight.

We began our evening with Brady's back to school night, where we got the updated what-happens-in-third-grade spiel from Abby's old third grade teacher, who Brady inherited and who I adore. (Seriously, as I sat there listening to her, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be there in that room again because she is just awesome.)

From there, we went to dinner at On the Border. After we finished our chips and salsa and tacos and beverages, we headed back out to the car, with one of us earning a piggy back ride. (We won't talk about the precise why behind said-ride. Just know that it involved lots of giggles and resulted in a great deal of amusement for both of us.)

So yeah, it can be hard to watch kids grow up and move on with life, but it's such a huge blessing, too. And given that today is the ninth anniversary of when we had the first indication that our family's life would go in a completely unexpected and horrifying direction --the fateful night when Logan's eye turned inward and we knew something was horribly wrong-- I'm just thankful for great teachers and air conditioners (because it's been HOT!) and dinners out and giggles and all of the good that I can ferret out of each new day. Oh, and that adults can have piggy back rides. That, too.

August 14

With the kids all at different schools for the first time, the whole drop-off and pick-up thing can be challenging. For now, I'm picking up Brady first (since his day ends the earliest by a very small margin), and then scooting over to the middle school, where I retrieve both Isaac and, after she walks over from the high school, Abby. When Isaac spotted Abby on the sidewalk this afternoon, this is how he reacted:

It may be a little hard to tell, but he basically tried to pull a Dukes of Hazzard. He got about this far out the window before I clued in to what he was doing and told him to get back in the car before he fell out and cracked his head on the sidewalk.

But that's neither here nor there and my point is this: he was super excited to see his sister, just like Brady was excited to see him when he got in the car a few minutes earlier. They may squabble just about every day and the bickering may make me half-crazy at times, but I do so love the genuine, unscripted moments that show how much they love each other.

August 13

This is a snapshot of my current reality.

We went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory tonight to "celebrate" the first day of school (even though it was actually day number two). There was a bit of a wait so we went outside, and this is pretty much how the rest of my family passed the time: Adam and Abby traded witticisms, and Isaac and Brady enthusiastically engaged in the weird hug-slash-wrestling move they dreamed up in the moment.

It may not be a perfect life, but it's a good one filled with random moments like this one. And I'm grateful for all of them.

August 12

It may still be mid-August and nowhere near the end of actual summer, but today marked the first day of what will be a three-year span of three kids in three different schools as Abby started her sophomore year in high school, Isaac began the sixth grade at the middle school, and Brady continued on with third grade in elementary.

When all was said and done and the trio of drop-offs and pick-ups were in the rear view mirror, I gleaned enough information to determine that they had largely drama-free first days. And I'm thankful for that.

I had a somewhat different experience as I spent part of the morning battling a not entirely unexpected wave of melancholy that set in as I sipped my coffee. First days of school are never uncomplicated for me because Logan isn't here. I don't get to see him fixing his hair or meeting up with his friends or taking Isaac under his wing at the middle school. I don't get to take his picture by the front door and I don't get to marvel over how close he is to being taller than me (because I'm pretty sure he'd be edging ever closer to the mark by now). I grieve for what I assumed would be that isn't. And that's always, always hard.

But even amid the hard, I'm still thankful that he was here. And I'm still thankful that he left thumbprints all over my heart and that I have these three, who are growing into themselves more and more with each passing day while simultaneously doing little, virtually imperceptible things that remind me that they're his siblings and that his heart is still inextricably entwined with theirs whether they realize it or not. So for those connections that criss-cross time and space and for good first days and for memories and for the promise of what will be one day, I'm thankful, even though life is unfair and some days are more difficult than I'd like them to be.

August 11

I looked in the mirror at some point today and had an odd thought (for me): I look kind of cute. So when I got back from a quick late-afternoon run to the store (because school starts tomorrow and Brady has, for the umpteenth time this year, ripped the toe out of his right shoe), I took a quick pic.

It feels kind of weird and self-indulgent to use this as today's entry, but here's a truth: I don't always like many things about myself. I am, as is so often the case with human beings, easily my own worst critic, and I don't hesitate to cut myself back down to size when I start to feel the rise of self-confidence. So when I find things about myself that I actually like, I try to take the time to appreciate those things, and to thank God for opening my eyes and allowing me to see them.

August 10

When Adam is home, he almost always puts the boys to bed. It's been that way for as long as I can remember, since by the time he gets home from work, I'm usually zonked from kid-drama and he's eager to spend some extra minutes hanging out with them. Anyhow, since he was out of town this week, I had to assume that duty (along with the rest of them, of course).

As I laid on Brady's bed with them this evening, I realized how much I like joining them for their good-night prayers. I virtually always find the act of praying to be soothing, but praying with them --rather than by myself-- feels powerful and meaningful and just... wonderful.

And for that heavenly bit of harmony I've been able to share with them this past week, I'm grateful.

August 9

After I dropped the boys off at baseball this afternoon, I drove over to the Sports Park so I could round the loop.

It was, to put it simply, a truly beautiful day. The sky above was blue, a cool breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees, and the temperature was about as close to perfect as it can get. (Which, for the record, is somewhere between a dry 75 and 80 degrees.)

So for some solo time in the great outdoors, I'm thankful.

August 8

Abby went to Adam's parents' house for her own end-of-the-summer sleepover, so this afternoon it was just me and the boys. After a quick trip to the store for some more cleaning supplies, they helped me continue my work on the floors at the rental (with varying degrees of success).

They both heartily dove into their assignment, though neither anticipated how much muscle they'd need to scrub the dirt away, so they wound up giggling and running up and down the stairs while I did the bulk of the work. (Which, lest anyone should think I'm into the whole child labor concept, was totally fine with me. As an aside, it was interesting being there with them, since of our four kids, they're the two who never lived there. I haven't fleshed out those feelings just yet, but I'm sure I will as I have more time to mull them.)

From there, I took them to baseball and then to dinner at their pick for the evening: Chili's. And then it was home and off to bed.

Given that it feels like summer vacation has flown by this year, I'm thankful that I had a little time with just the two of them, just as I'm thankful for the time I had yesterday with Abby.

August 7

With Adam in Malaysia and the boys at his parents' house for an overnight, it was a girls' day for Abby and me. We started off with the monthly women's ministry tea downtown this morning, which happened to be princess-themed. (We don't typically go around wearing tiaras. Not typically.)

This afternoon, I had to be at the rental for a little while to get a quote for new windows, and when I got home, we watched a few episodes of "Friends." (Well, Abby continued her binge. I watched part of a few episodes and then fell asleep on the couch. Sweet siesta.)

Then for dinner, we headed out to Red Robin to assuage Abby's cheeseburger craving and followed that up with a french fry-toting jaunt around the nearby Walmart. Then we were off to the Dairy downtown for some ice cream. And now, after a quick walk, we're sitting in the family room, all settled in for our customary Trashy TV Night.

And yep, nap aside, I'm tired. But I'm a content kind of tired, because I had a nice day with my girl. And I'm grateful.

August 6

'Twas a busy, busy day. And somehow, I took like two pictures. One is too blurry to use, and this is the other. So this pic of Abby and Brady at Starbucks before we walked to the high school this afternoon is the one.

The short version: Adam left for a business trip, I registered Brady for school, spent hours cleaning the floors at the rental house, went to Walmart (twice), took Isaac to sixth grade orientation, picked him up and dropped him at a friend's house, went back to the rental, took Abby and Brady to the high school registration, picked Isaac up from his friend's house, and got dinner at Chick fil A. (Lazy, but I totally didn't feel like cooking. And in hindsight, I'm hoping the kids ate lunch because I didn't remind them. Winning moment.)

Anyway, that's my day. And though I'm going to bed tired and kind of achy, I'm thankful for all of the above because it all means I'm living. And that's a very good thing.

August 5

I spent part of today cleaning the grout on the first floor of our rental house. (And yes, it's just as glamorous as it sounds.) As I walked back home this evening, I glanced over and saw this:

I didn't stick around to watch the entire sunset, but this --the pre-sunset-- was stunning. I've said it a few times in the past but it's worth repeating: the pictures God paints in the sky are among the most beautiful pieces of artwork in this world. I'm just thankful that I remember to stop and notice them now and again.

August 4

After church this morning, Abby and I met up with Gracie and Angela for brunch at Jim's. They spent most of July in Europe, so we hadn't seen them in some time.

No big observations to share; it was just really nice to sit and catch up for a while. It's cliche but it's still true: friends are some of the best things life has to offer, and I'm definitely thankful for mine.

August 3

BearBear may belong to Brady, but Abby has never tried to hide the fact that she adores him. She likes him so much, in fact, that when I found an identical bear on eBay a few days ago, she asked me to buy it. And voila, Theodore arrived this afternoon. (And BearBear immediately took a spin in the washing machine.)

She laughed and lit up like a Christmas tree when I handed him over, and then almost immediately introduced the two bears to one another. I'm not sure what the back story there will be --since BearBear has an elaborate history-- but I know it'll be amusing because my girl is insanely creative.

So for that smile and the laughs that are no doubt to come as a result of Theodore's arrival, I'm thankful.

August 2

I took the boys to baseball this afternoon, left to take a walk, and then came back to watch their hitting class.

When I went inside, I was surprised to find that they were a class of two; or, as I mused to myself with a mental chuckle, the Wight Brothers Battle Royale had commenced.

I watched as they stood side by side whacking balls off of tees, and then as they took turns smacking live pitches. As Isaac took his turn, Brady positioned himself nearby to take practice swings, and I was struck by how they moved with a great deal of synchronicity. It was, in a word or two, quite lovely to see them moving stride for stride, swing for swing, over and over again. Beautiful, really. So for those moments of sweet (literal) harmony between these sweet little sons of mine, I'm grateful.

August 1

Twelve years ago, when we bought our current home, our first house --the cute little two bedroom townhouse that served as a first home for Abby and Logan-- became a rental unit. After virtually continuous occupancy since then, winds of change blew today as our most recent renters --who moved in way back in 2010, right around the time we found out Logan was sick-- moved out and handed over the keys.

I've never been someone who loves change and we're still not entirely sure if we're going to sell it or rent it out again, but I feel blessed to have had renters who took care of it while they lived there. I know that's not always a given, but it's always a blessing, and I'm grateful.