February 4

Adam often puts the kids to bed, but tonight, an under-the-weather Brady clung to me so I had the honor.

After books were read and a good-night prayer said, I held him in my arms and sang a handful of bedtime tunes. The same ones I sang to each of our other three kids. As I cradled him, he looked up at me, gazing fervently into my eyes. And suddenly, it was four years ago and I was holding Logan, rocking him in that very same chair, singing him the very same songs.

And then, of course, as suddenly as the feeling of deja vous hit me, it was gone, and Logan was Brady again. And we were sitting in that chair in February of 2013, rocking and staring at each other.

I know it was just one of those funny moments in time. And I don't want any of my kids to be someone they're not; after all, no one will ever be Logan, just like no one else will ever be Abby or Isaac or Brady. But it was a blessing, for just a single, sweet moment, to go back, even if it was all just in my head.