July 26

One night while we were on Kaua'i, Logan was in one of my dreams. It was a notable experience because I can count the number of times that's happened over the last five years on one hand. In fact, I remember how I desperately tried to will him into my dreams right after he died, but of course, it didn't work. Anyway, in this dream, he was still the size of a five-year old, and we walked together in silence. Twice, we stopped, and he hugged me and said "I love you." The last bit was especially poignant because, unless I'm forgetting, I can count the number of times he's spoken to me in a dream on less than one hand.

I don't know why he shows up when he does, and aside from storing up that dream like a little jewel in my heart, I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it until today. In this case, I think maybe he appeared for two reasons: firstly to remind me that he's always with me --even when we're on vacation-- and also because his 11th birthday is next Monday. It's not that I could ever, ever forget; it's just nice to think that he --or perhaps God, since I have no idea how it all works beyond what I can see-- knows that I remember and that it's an important date to me.

(Note: The pic is from December of 2007 when we took a ride on the Train of Lights. Simpler times for sure.)