February 28

I can feel my nose starting to itch so I know my allergy season is just around the corner, but I didn't let that stop me from enjoying an afternoon at the Sports Park.

I walked the loop with my pal Sandra nearly two full times (and at approximately two miles a pop, that's not a short distance) and then plunked down on the bleachers at HBD to take in the last few minutes of Brady's practice. The sun was in the midst of its final descent to the horizon and the air was a lovely, comfortable temperature, so I was happy to just sit there and soak it in.

Small things, big blessings.

February 27

Sunday, Funday. Baseball day. (Of course!)

Isaac's team went up to Pleasant Hill this morning to play one last scrimmage before the season officially starts next weekend. 

They were pummeled quite soundly by a team with players who were significantly larger in stature, but save a ball that he lost in the blazing sunlight, Isaac had a good game and didn't tweak his shoulder again (which is a near-constant worry of mine these days. Anyway, he's there in the batting helmet leading off second base shortly after doubling to center). And when I asked him if he had fun on the way home, he responded with a resounding yes.

Because win or lose, that boy of mine loves the game. He loves the team and the scramble and the strategy. It's not that he doesn't prefer winning; of course he does. But he so loves the process that the end result is reliably a second thought in his mind. So for his 'tomorrow is always another day' approach, I'm grateful.

February 26

Busy Saturdays are so good for my heart.

This one started out with a get-together with my fellow Prayer Shawl Ministry ladies and continued with a scrimmage at the Sports Park for Brady.

Then this afternoon, Abby and I went out for our customary shopping trip, and this go-round, we hit Macy's for some dress shopping. Senior Ball dress shopping, to be exact. And since my girl is my girl, it was really more like ballgown shopping.

It was fun standing there in the fitting room watching her try on different styles. And it was more fun watching her eyes as she reacted to seeing herself in said-dresses.

In the end, she chose one. She's holding it in his pic, but I'm not showing the whole thing because it's a surprise for later. I'll just say what's obvious: it's silver and very sparkly. 

It's such an amazing blessing to watch her grow up, and I am thankful that I got to be there to see her pick that dress.

February 25

Nikki and I went out to celebrate my birthday (a wee bit late) this evening.

We loaded up on bread and wine and salad and main courses and dessert (and yes, I'm stuffed). But beyond all of that goodness, we talked and laughed at ridiculous things and caught up on life. I hadn't seen her in several months, and several months was far too long.

So tonight I'm grateful for her continued friendship, and for how we can go for months without seeing each other and still talk like no time at all has lapsed.

February 24

It was a frosty 28 degrees this morning when the boys and I left for school drop-offs.

I did a double-take when I saw that number because surely I'd read it wrong. But nope. Twenty-eight. Brr.

As I shepherded the boys down the stairs and into the garage at go-time, I felt a sense of gratitude for our heater and for the jacket I zipped all the way up and for the hot cup of coffee I knew I'd be enjoying about 20 minutes later. (Which was actually more like 30 minutes later because the elementary school drop-off was inSANE, but I digress.)

Little things, easily overlooked, but big blessings. Especially when it's twentysomething degrees out.

February 23

One of the things I love about Brady is his enthusiasm.

When he decides he's going to tackle a project, he throws all of his energy into the planning and execution of said-project and sticks with it until it's done.

But it's not just about academics. This week is Spirit Week at his school (I think; I should probably know, but dude, this is my fourth kid so I'm only peripherally aware of the non-required school-sanctioned activities. But I digress). He shared that today was '70s Day, so since he couldn't find the shirt he tye-dyed at school last week (and seriously, how cool is it that his teacher worked that into a lesson?), he borrowed mine. And he even asked for a headband, since I guess his teacher mentioned that guys sometimes wore them back then. So I gave him one of mine.

Anyway, this is how he looked when he went in this morning and when he came out this afternoon. He said he was the only boy who wore a headband, but it didn't bother him and he kept in on all day. I love that enthusiasm. And that self-assurance. 

Both are blessings, if you ask me.

February 22

Dark clouds loomed overhead most of the day but there wasn't rain in the forecast so I didn't think much of it.

Until late this afternoon, when I glanced out the window and noticed wet pavement. Drops on Adam's car parked in the garage. Dot, dot, dot on the usually still surface of the pool.

It rained all the time when I was a kid growing up back east, but it's a rarity around these parts these days. So for those precious droplets, I am grateful.

February 21

The boys of the house have a tradition of hiking along the Pleasanton Ridge on President's Day, so that's what they did this morning.

After they finished, Abby and I jumped in my car and met them at the Dairy downtown for some ice cream cones.

It was a windy but lovely day, the ice cream was delicious as always, and the company was fantastic. So for all of those not-small but ordinary blessings, I am grateful.

February 20

Brady's been asking me about using the neighbors' basketball hoop for months now. And every time he's asked, I've told him was welcome to go across the street, knock on their door, and ask for permission. And today, he finally did just that and got the formal okay.

So he and Abby and Isaac trooped outside to shoot some hoops. (I sneaked this pic from my bedroom window because I didn't want my Nosy Mom Behavior to interrupt their Unplanned Sibling Bonding Time.)

It absolutely warms my heart when they do things together as a group.

February 19

I have to say it: our weekends may be crazy for the next few months, but I am so happy that baseball season is almost here.

Isaac and the Cal Rays (formerly known as the Spartans; same team, different name) headed down to Fremont this afternoon for their first scrimmage of 2022. I was a bit nervous, since the last time I saw him really swing a bat, he dislocated his shoulder and I had a panic attack, but all was good today. Over three trips to the plate, he collected two walks and a solid single. (And he only actually swung the bat one time.) And got plenty dirty as he trolled the bases and messed with the pitcher's head (as he likes to do).

The Rays came away with an 8-4 win and will play again tomorrow. So today, I am once again thankful for baseball, blue skies, and my boy's enduring love of the game.

February 18

It was a lovely afternoon for a stroll, so that's what Adam and I did during the gap between the end of his workday and dinner.

Blue skies, just a slight coolness in the air, the first cherry blossoms of the season, and my hunny. Definitely a great way to conclude a week. 

I am blessed.

And though it may not feel like it 24/7, so are you. I'm sure of it.

February 17

Adam and I almost never go to dinner on Valentine's Day (because it's way too busy), but we do get out eventually. And this year, today was the day.

Adam finished with work, picked up food for the kiddos (Little Caesar's for the broskis and Subway for Abby), and then we headed out to Haps.

But before we left, Abby insisted on taking our Prom pictures. She captured a wide array of shots of us standing by the front door, including this one, which is probably my favorite of the bunch, even though you can see my orange glitter eye shadow. (For real. It's amazing.)

Anyway, like I've said before, I'm blessed with a good marriage to a great person and I'm blessed with a daughter who appreciates (and caters to) my love of capturing moments --even mundane ones-- via photos.

February 16

I was wandering around Walmart this morning when I spied the clearance rack in the boys' clothing section and decided to take a look. I came across a significantly-marked-down Batman onesie in Brady's size, so I bought it, even though I wasn't really sure he'd like it.

But fortunately, he did like it. In fact, he took his shower early just so he could put it on as soon as possible. Then he strutted around the house saying Batman'y things. 

I so love it when simple (and inexpensive) things elicit so much joy. 

February 15

My church held a Valentine's Day ladies' tea this morning. I completely forgot to take a pic, but it was most definitely the highlight of my day, so I'm using this image of my beautiful red roses instead.

I'd planned to sit at a table with women I didn't know, but as it turned out, I knew at least one person at each table, so I wound up randomly choosing an empty chair. I had a lovely time sipping tea while chit-chatting with my table-mates.

And at one point, after the hostess gave a short talk and the mic was opened up for others to address the group, I glanced around the room into a sea of tentative faces, and decided to share a little bit of my story. About how losing Logan broke me, but how it also ultimately brought me closer to Jesus. (Because it did.)

So today, I'm grateful to be part of a faith community, and I'm grateful that I felt the nudge to share, because sharing --and being physical proof that it's possible to recover and even thrive after a traumatic event-- makes everything that happened feel a little less terrible.

February 14

When I got up this morning, I found two dozen red roses, six boxes of candy (yes, six), and a card waiting for me at the kitchen table.

And they were all from this guy right here. This guy who's been my Valentine since we started dating back in late 1997. Twenty-five years ago.

To say that Adam's a good guy would be a massive understatement because he's an amazing guy. I don't think I deserve all of the goodness he showers on me, but somehow, God did. And He saw fit to bring us together when we were still young, and I will forever be grateful for the love, attention, and grace he's given me over the years. Especially for the grace, since I know I've not always been easy to love. He's always been like Jesus to me, and that's a blessing of immense worth.

Happy Valentine's Day, hunny. I love you!

February 13

The rose bushes to either side of our garage teem with white roses during the spring and summer months. In truth they're so productive that they wind up leaning heavily to one side under the weight of the many blooms.

But given that it's still February, I was a bit surprised to spy this early-comer this morning. The first bud of 2022.

Then again, I'm not sure why I was surprised, since if I've learned anything from this life, it's that God holds the pen, and if He wants to breathe life into the rose bushes a bit early --to create fragrant beauty before I think it's time for it to be-- He will. And for that, I am grateful. 

February 12

I had a lovely outing with my girl --who received her second college acceptance letter yesterday (to Wheaton in Illinois, for the record)-- this afternoon.

We got Crumbl cookies and went to multiple Targets and Walmart and Hobby Lobby. We chatted and laughed and had a great time together.

It's weird to think that she'll be a college student in just a few short months and that these outings of ours will become less of a regular thing. So today, I'm thankful for what is right now -- and for what will be, even though it'll be different. Because what will be for this girl will no doubt be good.

February 11

A decade. It's been a decade since I saw Logan take his last breath on this side of the curtain that separates us from Heaven and Someday.

The five of us remembered him today both individually and together. We remembered him during the car ride to the boys' schools this morning; I told Brady that he has his biggest brother's sense of humor and irrepressible need to shake his booty at random (and often inopportune) times. I told Isaac that I can see his brother's quiet care for others and affability in him.

Adam and I remembered together as we ventured to donate blood this stunning, sunny, 70-degree morning (although only I was able to; apparently Adam's temperature was just a tick too high) and then as we headed down the freeway to the Olive Garden for a quiet lunch. We talked about how we responded to that hard, hard day 10 years ago and how we respond to it now, both in reality and in retrospect.

We all remembered together this evening, with cheese pizza from Costco, a quick visit to the cemetery, ice cream from Coldstone, and a showing of Mater's Tall Tales and Cars Toons.

And our friends remembered; there were texts and messages and emails and Facebook posts. And a pair of flower arrangements and homemade chocolate chip cookies and a new devotional left on the porch. 

And I am grateful for all of it. For everyone who remembered and took the time to say they were thinking of us. Of him. Of what was and of what will be again, whenever Someday arrives.

I still don't love February 11. I'm not sure I ever will. But I am thankful for today and for this life that we live. And for you. Definitely for you, too.

February 10

I glanced in my rearview mirror while I was waiting at a red light this evening and saw Mater sitting on the dashboard of the car behind me.

Mater. From Cars. Logan's signature movie. (Promise it was him. This is a terrible pic because the light had turned green and I was trying to hustle. But it was Mater. I'd know that tractor tippin' tow truck anywhere.)

It seemed poetic given that today is the eve of the 10th anniversary of that boy of mine's passing. Or his trip Home, as I sometimes call it.

So for that unexpected sight that made me smile and brought him to the forefront of my thoughts, I am grateful.

February 9

Isaac had practice up at DVC this afternoon. I didn't watch much of the action --Tarjay called my name and I answered-- but I did catch the last half hour or so. 

Although I don't love sitting in freeway traffic to get him there, I do so love watching him play. I love the intensity and I love the enthusiasm and I love seeing him interact with his teammates and coaches. 

And today, I loved looking at this particular photo and realizing that he'd sucked his cheeks in just like his dad so often does when he's thinking.

It's all a blessing.

February 8

Today felt kind of like a whirlwind. I had a nice chit-chat with one of my fellow Starbucks regulars, wandered around the grocery store for a while (because I forgot what I went in for in the first place), and then went home and fell asleep while trying to pray in my closet. Then I woke up and had to pick up the boys from school, and then Brady had practice, and then I had to take the other two to Youth Group, and then there was dinner, and then the Pastor Search Team (did I ever mention I'm part of that? I am) meeting at church. 

By the time I got home for the night, I was tuckered out. I changed into my pjs and went to the kitchen for some ice water. 

And that chilly water was so, so good. I don't spend much time expressing gratitude for the most basic of the basics, but this evening I'm definitely thankful to have access to fresh ice water.  

February 7

After carefully scanning the RSVP list for tonight's senior class parent mixer, I decided I'd attend. These are two of the people whose names I spied who made the decision an easy one.

I've known both Jacqui and Kim for quite a long while now; their kids went all the way through elementary, middle, and high school with Abby. In fact, Kim's daughter Bridget was Abby's best friend for a few of those elementary school years.

Anyway, it was a blessing to be able to sit and catch up, if only for a relatively short while, because it'd been quite a long time since I'd seen them in person. So this evening, I am grateful for opportunities to reconnect with friends.

February 6

Isaac had practice this afternoon, so he and Adam headed up to DVC after church.

I was in my room for a short while and when I emerged, I found Brady, Abby, and a trio of their favorite animals on the family room floor. 

I'm not entirely sure what they were doing, but it was really nice to see them together and interacting in a peaceful way. So for that gift, I am grateful.

February 5

My college-accepted girl and I took our usual Saturday shopping trip today. And unlike last week, it was drama-free and fun.

We hit up Target (so she could buy a sketch book for her fashion design aspirations), Walmart (because it's Walmart), Joann, and Sprouts (because I wanted to see if they had hazelnuts... and woohoo, they did! They also had gummy unicorns, blueberries --which my kids eat like blueberry bushes are on the endangered species list-- and Adam's beloved cinnamon bears).

So today I am grateful for a good time with my girl and for the handfuls of delectable hazelnuts that are now literally within reach.

February 4

Abby received her first official college acceptance this afternoon.

The school that was wise enough to offer her admission was St. Mary's College in Moraga. It was, admittedly, her safety school (given its proximity to home and her decision to not apply to any UCs combined with the relatively high acceptance rate) but it represents a "we want YOU" nonetheless. (And as a total mom-brag, she was also offered a not-small academic scholarship she didn't realize she'd applied for.) So for a kid who (completely irrationally, mind you) worried that she wouldn't get in ANYwhere, it's a big deal. A sigh-inducer. A blessed signal that she can just relax and enjoy the last few months of high school because yes, Virginia, institutes of higher education WILL indeed want her.

And hopefully, that's just what she's doing right now with some friends because it's Friday night, and she went out. 

I'm so proud of this girl. I'm sure other acceptances are in the works and I genuinely have no idea where she'll land, but I know she can do whatever she decides she wants to do because God has given her so, so many good gifts. And that's a ginormous blessing.

February 3

The sky this afternoon as I drove from the Sports Park back to our house was quite lovely.

So I went up to the deck to take a better look, and I wasn't disappointed with the view.

So much majesty. So much beauty. So much light and shade and color. 

Creation can be so lovely when I take the time to really examine it. And I am thankful for those little glances of amazingness.

February 2

Isaac had practice up in Pleasant Hill this afternoon, so after a relatively quick post-school stop at home to change clothes and get food, he and I headed up the freeway.

I wandered around the nearby shopping mall while he worked it on the diamond, and when I returned at pick-up time, I had a nice chit chat with one of his coaches.

I don't love the drive up to DVC, but it was a nice afternoon. And I know he had fun out there with his teammates. (He told me so during the trip home. And, for the record, that's him on the far left with the slouchy shoulders.) So for that, I am thankful.

February 1

A friend I loved very much abruptly cut me off last year. She was wading through multiple significant challenges of her own and had been for some time so I can't and won't judge her, but the reality is that it was and still is deeply painful for me. Although I crave connection, I've been afraid of putting myself out there in any real kind of way for fear of being hurt all over again.

But with the 10-year anniversary of Logan's death in sight and so many changes in store for us this year, my need for genuine companionship and listening ears has increased exponentially. 

So yesterday, as I sat in the silence of my closet, I asked God to send me friends. To send me wise women who would be willing to spend time with me, to talk with me, to listen to me when I need to vent. And then I got up and went about the day and forgot about that prayer, because though I'm embarrassed to admit it, I often don't expect much when I pray.

But then this evening as I was walking to the parking lot at the Sports Park after dropping Brady at baseball practice, I saw Sandra drive in, and we walked around the loop. And as we were walking, I saw Erin and shouted a hello, which resulted in promises to exchange emails. And then after I finally got home, I got this text from Nancy. (And then after I'd originally published this, I got another text from Taylor.)

So in short, I would say that God heard my prayer and answered it rather loudly in a way that only He can. And I am thankful for that. (And if my friend is reading this... I forgive you. I've never stopped praying for you. And I love you. And I'm still here if and when you need me. No matter what. Proverbs 17:17)