February 1

A friend I loved very much abruptly cut me off last year. She was wading through multiple significant challenges of her own and had been for some time so I can't and won't judge her, but the reality is that it was and still is deeply painful for me. Although I crave connection, I've been afraid of putting myself out there in any real kind of way for fear of being hurt all over again.

But with the 10-year anniversary of Logan's death in sight and so many changes in store for us this year, my need for genuine companionship and listening ears has increased exponentially. 

So yesterday, as I sat in the silence of my closet, I asked God to send me friends. To send me wise women who would be willing to spend time with me, to talk with me, to listen to me when I need to vent. And then I got up and went about the day and forgot about that prayer, because though I'm embarrassed to admit it, I often don't expect much when I pray.

But then this evening as I was walking to the parking lot at the Sports Park after dropping Brady at baseball practice, I saw Sandra drive in, and we walked around the loop. And as we were walking, I saw Erin and shouted a hello, which resulted in promises to exchange emails. And then after I finally got home, I got this text from Nancy. (And then after I'd originally published this, I got another text from Taylor.)

So in short, I would say that God heard my prayer and answered it rather loudly in a way that only He can. And I am thankful for that. (And if my friend is reading this... I forgive you. I've never stopped praying for you. And I love you. And I'm still here if and when you need me. No matter what. Proverbs 17:17)