July 31

Today is Logan's 18th birthday. As utterly improbable as it seems, my sweet Sunshine is an adult.

There it is; I wrote it out. It's a foreign and jarring truth since I haven't laid eyes on him since he was five and a half. But according to the calendar, it has indeed been a full 18 years since he debuted in the outside world and began the very short but very effective process of wrapping me around his little finger with his huge grins and funky dance moves and entirely random tales of the land of Ponow.

I so wish I could see him at 18. Would his strawberry blonde tresses be brown now? Would his eyes still be that beautiful sky shade of blue? Would he play video games with his brothers? Would he and Abby still share that special sibling bond they enjoyed when they were kids, before it all went so sideways? I don't and won't know. And that's hard to accept. But I'm always working on letting go of the whys and focusing on the blessing that was having him with us, even for a short time.

And that's more or less what we did today: I wore my Cars shirt that sports a picture of Sally. We honored his love of "that brown bread" by going to Outback for lunch. And we indulged in Costco pizza for dinner and chocolate-chocolate cake for dessert. And it was all very good. Very, very good. Very five-year-old Logan-approved.

So as I look back and remember him today, on his 18th birthday, I am grateful that I got to care for him until he was five and a half. And I'm grateful that he continues to inspire me all these years later to be a better human. I love you, Logan. So much.

July 30

Isaac got home from camp at one o'clock this morning and then spent an hour telling me all about the experience in his trademark meandering, day-by-day fashion. (The Cliff's Notes version is that it was one of the best weeks of his life, so I'd call it a win.) I was happy to get such a detailed recap (because Teenage Boy) but I was pretty tired when I got up this morning.

But I'd told my girl we could go to the mall today, so I got dressed and we headed out. A stop at the Mother Ship was one hundred percent in order (because, well, duh), and then we swung by a variety of our usual destinations before winding up at said-mall.

Summer is rapidly winding down, so it was a blessing to spend the time with her, doing something that we both enjoy.

July 29

I decided to clean the hardwood floors this afternoon, and as I worked, I could hear the intermittent hum of Abby's sewing machine upstairs. When she appeared a few hours later and I asked her what she was up to, she shied away from answering; she doesn't like to talk about projects until they're finished. So I didn't press for details.

And then this evening, with dinner percolating in our tummies and Adam and I settled in front of the TV to catch the primetime Olympic coverage, she strolled into the room wearing a dress that I hadn't seen before.

It was the mystery project, completed.

I got up to take a closer look and for the umpteenth time, I was impressed with what I saw. She's so amazingly creative with her sewing; she (still) doesn't use patterns but manages to come up with and construct cute designs.

That kind of talent is God-given, and I'm thankful that I get to see my girl using and enjoying the fruits of her gift.

July 28

When we got home from Brady's game late this afternoon, I went into our room, threw up my hands, and exclaimed "I am so excited to introvert!" (Adam was standing in the doorway at the time, so no, I wasn't talking to myself.)

And after a long weekend of tournament ball, I was speaking the truth.

Although I've been branded a "raging extrovert" by some people in recent years, that's not really me because I definitely feel over-peopled at times. Now I like my people; I love watching my boys play ball and I love shopping with Abby and I love my dates with Adam. I love sitting around and doing nothing at all with them sometimes. And I love spending time with friends. That's all true.

But I also crave time by myself. I like to be alone so I can work on projects and read and watch my TV shows and quietly connect with God. 

So for the opportunities I had today to both be with people and by myself, I'm grateful. Because I think doing both helps to refine a better version of me.

July 27

The positive news is that Brady's team won both of the tournament games they played down in Sunnyvale today, so they're the number one seed going into tomorrow.

The not as positive news is that Brady himself didn't have his A-game stuff. He batted at the very bottom of the order, struck out several times, walked a few times, and had a nice liner to right that dropped in for a hit. But he didn't have it from the pitcher's mound.

And that was hard; hard for him to experience, hard for us to watch. 

But the other good news is that I know --and underneath it all, he knows-- that he's a solid pitcher, and that today was an anomaly. So today I'm thankful for how we can learn from challenges -- and that God provides comfort to all who seek Him amid their struggles.

July 26

Abby accompanied me to the Mother Ship this morning.

We sat and chit chatted with some of the regulars as they came through. It was just nice to sit with her and "be" for a short time.

Summer's rapidly coming to an end so I'm thankful for the small moments as they come.

July 25

Adam wasn't feeling well today so I drove Brady up to San Ramon and, after taking a long walk in the 95-degree heat, I plunked my comfy chair down in a shady spot and stuck around to watch his baseball practice.

So yes, that is the foot of my 13-year old.

He was manning first base when an errant throw from third smacked him in the lower leg. He immediately recoiled, and I watched as he winced and walked it off. 

And then when he got home, he rolled up his pantleg and showed me the damage. It's hard to make out, but there's a baseball-shaped red area just north of his tan line. 

I warned him that it would probably be sore and ugly-looking tomorrow and gave him a bag of ice to help with swelling. He took it in stride.

So this evening, I'm thankful that it's just a bruise and that he was able to walk it off. Although it stinks to have a welt and it'll probably hurt for a few days, it's much better than a broken bone. 

July 24

Isaac got up before sunrise so Adam could drive him to the airport to catch his flight to camp.

Yep, I wrote flight, because this year's Young Life camp is in Arizona.

And this year, his long-time friend Tyler decided to go, too, which is especially exciting because the other two times Isaac has gone to camp, he's gone without knowing any other kids.

Anyway, I told him to be sure to take a pic with Ty because it'll be fun to look back at it later, and he sent me this from baggage claim after they arrived in Phoenix. I like it because he looks genuinely happy.

It's quite an adventure for him, but I'm thankful that he's having it. And I'm grateful that he's got a friend along for the ride.

July 23

Adam I hadn't had a chance to go to dinner for several weeks, so although there was no Youth Group tonight, we went out anyway.

I had a lovely time sitting there at one of our usual haunts, nibbling on bread and sipping prosecco while asking him questions about what's been going on at work.

It was chill and pleasant. (And I should've taken a pic while we were there instead of waiting because this car-shot is not flattering.) Beyond that, it was really nice to reconnect, even if it wasn't an extended outing, because connection is a blessing.

July 22

As I walked through the house this afternoon, I found the kiddos all gathered in the living room, quietly doing their collective thing on a video game console. (I think. It may have been a computer. I'm never quite sure.)

I liked what I saw so I quickly snapped a pic. This is part of that pic.

Why only part of it? Well, as soon as I put my phone down, Abby immediately looked up and said "I do not like that picture. Do not post that picture anywhere."

So instead of posting the entire pic, I'm posting the sticker I made of Brady from said-pic. (I would've included Isaac as well but I couldn't get a clear margin around him to create a sticker.)

So today I'm grateful for peaceful moments between my children and for technology that lets me create stickers from my photos, because honestly, it's good fun!

July 21

I always get a little choked up during the annual Sunday morning VBS celebration service, and this year did not deviate from that norm.

It fills my cup to watch the kids singing the songs and doing the dances. Their enthusiasm and joy is radiant and it touches me in a way that I can't describe adequately. It's just precious on a soul-deep level. Jesus said to let the little children come to Him, and when they do, things happen. Big things.

And it was also precious and touching when I looked just to my right and saw Isaac smiling and mouthing the words to the songs right along with the campers on stage. 

It was all beautiful. And I'm grateful that I had the gift of being there to see and feel it all.

July 20

This guy right here has had a long couple of weeks at work. High stress situations, lots to do, lots of very late nights. 

So given that we had nothing on the schedule today for once, I was glad to see him take the opportunity to conk out on the couch late this morning.

He does so much for our family and we are so, so blessed to have him. He is a blessing.

July 19

It was hot out again this afternoon --that less than pleasant over 100 degrees kind of hot-- and I was feeling like I needed an activity so I decided to go out for Icees. Abby was sleeping and Isaac was in full rest-mode (a week of VBS volunteering can do that to ya), so Brady came along to be my cup-carrier.

I got in the car and he got in next to me. In the passenger seat. For the first time ever.

I pointed out that it was a new thing and he rolled his eyes in my direction as he reached over to fasten his seatbelt. You know I sit in the front with Dad all the time, right?

And yeah, I knew. But it was still a first for me: My baby sitting with me in the front seat. It makes logical sense that he do so; I weigh more, of course (because he's a stick and all), but he's taller. Certainly he should be there when it's just the two of us. But still: he's my baby. Don't babies sit in the back?

It served as a stark reminder that he's growing up fast. They all are. (It occurred to me a few days ago that both Isaac and Abby will be Seniors in a year. That one almost had me in the corner chewing on my hair.) It's hard to watch the little-ness go, but it's awesome to see them all continuing to mature in the front seat.

July 18

Brady had a pitching lesson this afternoon.

It's a new thing for him that we're trying out since he shows good potential on the mound, and so far, it's going well.

His coach knows pitching really well and has given Brady excellent feedback and technical suggestions. I've enjoyed sitting on the bleachers watching; it makes me grin when the coach says something positive (like "you'll be throwing 90 soon") and I can see his back straighten and his shoulders perk up in response.

It's a blessing to see seeds of confidence planted in him, and I'm excited to see him continue to grow.

July 17

This afternoon after the kiddos got home from VBS, I had a few visitors in my room.

They wandered in and out; first Abby, then Isaac. They stuck around for a spell before wandering back out. (It's what they do.)

And then a little later, they returned, this time to show me Isaac's hairdo. I guess Abby was bored and Isaac was game, so she arranged it using a selection of little claw barrettes. 

Then they sprawled across my bed and we all sat there chit-chatting about this and that. It was all very  peaceful. and comfortable.

It was also a nice reminder that everyday moments when we're not doing anything in particular can be remarkably sweet.

July 16

I had an Elders' board meeting at church tonight which meant that I got to see Pastor Mary on her birthday. And I got to bring her (cheese)cake, which she, Pam, and I enjoyed after the broader meeting was adjourned. 

We are so blessed to have her as our leader. She's energetic, vibrant, and truly excited about exploring new ways to share the love of Jesus with the community. It's been a pleasure to watch her continue to grow into her role as time has passed, and I'm optimistic about what the future will hold.

And beyond that, she's a transparent, genuine friend who shares my love of coffee dates (and apparently, sweets. She remarked on how nice it was to get treats for her birthday. I too like getting treats! The box of donuts Nikki brought me on my birthday a few years ago was on point).

I knew from the first time I met her a few years ago that we'd get along well, and I feel blessed to know her. Happy birthday, Mary!

July 15

These three were up and out the door early this morning for day one of VBS.

And although that's a very good thing, I'm actually writing about something that's only tangentially related.

Last night as I dozed on the couch watching "Columbo" on Peacock, I was aware that Isaac was repeatedly trekking up and down the stairs to the garage. At one point I thought I heard the vacuum running, and at another point he opened the side kitchen door, which I assumed meant he was visiting the trash can on the side yard. But since I was half-asleep, I didn't investigate. I think I asked him if he needed anything once or twice, but he always insisted he was all good. Eventually, he said goodnight and went up to bed.

I forgot all about his mysterious flurry of activity until this morning after the kiddos had already left for VBS. I went down to the garage to head to the Mother Ship. When I opened the passenger side car door to deposit my purse on the seat, I  noticed that the Random Stuff I keep on the floorboard was neatly stacked. Then when I opened the back door, I found that the floor had been completely cleaned and vacuumed. 

I smiled when it dawned on me that he'd cleaned out my car. 

It was no small task and I have no idea what compelled him to do it, but he did. And as I sat there looking at his handiwork, I felt a strong sense of gratitude. He's a good kid, that boy of mine. They're all good kids. And I am grateful for the ways they choose to serve others, even when they don't have to do it.

July 14

The kiddos will all be volunteering in various capacities at Vacation Bible School this coming week, and this morning they stuck around after church to help set up.

They've all been campers in the past, so becoming volunteers once they aged out of the program was a given in my mind, but it's always been their choice to decide whether or not they wanted to do that.

And as a parent, I feel so blessed that they've always chosen to take part. To know that they're willing to love on the kids who come and to walk with them as they learn about Jesus --rather than spending the waning days of their summer vacation playing video games or taking part in baseball games or hanging out with friends-- is an amazing gift.

July 13

Today we celebrated Adam's grandmother's 97th birthday --a few weeks late-- with a substantial group of the extended family. 

My in-laws hosted the Hawaiian-themed affair, which featured sandwiches (per the celebrant's special request) and a selection of cookies baked by Adam's mom and sister and our very own Abby. (And yes, everyone wore leis, too! But no one had a better lei than Russ, although the seven leis given to Grandmother one at a time by her seven children were a close second.)

I had the opportunity to catch up with several different folks while I served as the event's official shutterbug. There were stories shared and toddlers (who were unfortunately down for a nap when this image was snapped, but Kennedi and Luke were very much present!) loved on and hugs shared and cornhole and croquet matches played.

I could go on for pages, but the bottom line is that a close family is a blessing. And I am grateful for each wonderfully varied leaf that God has grown on my own family tree.

July 12

I'm really tired this evening; like dozing in my chair tired. It was a fairly busy day, between Isaac's morning game in Dublin and a late-afternoon extended family gathering in Danville. (And the heat. That's certainly a factor.) But yes, I'm definitely sleepy so I'll try to write quickly.

When I went outside at said-family affair this evening, I was really gratified to find Abby and Caroline engaged in conversation by the pool. Caroline is Adam's youngest cousin and the youngest grandchild for Adam's grandma, while Abby is the eldest of the great-grandchildren. The two girls are both rising college juniors and seven months apart in age, and Abby has remarked more than once recently that she wished she knew Caroline better.

So it was a sweet blessing to see them talking and laughing together.

July 11

After exchanging a flurry of texts earlier this week, Nikki and I went to dinner tonight. There are lots of great restaurants in the area to choose from, but we ultimately went with Pastas downtown (because Italian is always a good idea).

Anyway, the food was good, and the company was even better. We don't get together often of late because the day to day busy-ness of life gets in the way, but I love and am grateful for our easy --and long-term-- friendship. 

She is a rare treasure, and I am thankful for the moments of reconnection that we share.

July 10

As we wrapped up dinner this evening, Abby reached for a chip and wound up with three separate chips that had been baked together.

After sizing up the situation, she carefully pulled them apart, and then offered one to Isaac (who accepted the gift) and the other to Brady (who also accepted, after confirming that she hadn't done anything to it. Ah, teenagers).

It was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but it was such a sweet gesture that I nearly teared up. I so love it when they show care for one another.

July 9

My grandparents kept a set of safari-themed pillows on their family room couch for as long as I can remember. Back in the '80s, I'd sit on that sofa and run my fingers over the surface of those pillows, searching for the pointy ends of the feathers that comprised the stuffing within. When I found one, I'd  wiggle it out, taking care to not damage the fabric. (I don't know why I did it; there was something deeply satisfying about doing it though.)

So as we were preparing to leave grandma's house back in May, I nabbed one of those precious pillows and brought it home with me. It now lives on the couch in my family room, and late at night, after everyone else is in bed, I sometimes lie my head against it and close my eyes and remember what was, way back when I was young.

I remember watching Wheel of Fortune (and how Grandpa always said, with a sly grin that only crept across his face every so often, that Vanna White was his girl). And I remember sitting with Grandma while she stitched her animals for the hospital, and I remember putting curlers in her hair just for fun.

They're sweet memories, and I'm grateful to have this memento that brings them to the forefront of my mind.

July 8

I had solo time with each kiddo today. 

I took Isaac to his Nines game up in Orinda this morning. (He batted leadoff and went 1 for 1 with a single and two walks.)

I took Brady to his pitching lesson this afternoon. (And was impressed with the coach and how he explained everything.)

And then this evening, I took a walk around the neighborhood with Abby. (It was kinda sorta like the old days our previous house when we'd hoof the loop around the park during the cooler evening hours.)

They were all in good moods (which is not always a given these days! The teenage years are tough) so it was a blessing and a pleasure to have that one on one time with each of them.

July 7

I took exactly one photo today. We were standing around regrouping after church and I noticed that my guys were in advertently dressed in mitchy-matchy style. So I did as I do and took a pic to commemorate the moment.

(For the record, Brady was wearing a plain golf shirt in the same shade of light blue that's in both Adam and Isaac's aloha shirts. Because he's 13 he refused to be photographed.)

Anyway, these are two of the best men I know. They're both kind and compassionate. And they're both deep thinkers who take their faith seriously. 

They make my life better and they probably make others' lives better, too. And I am grateful for both of them.

July 6

After dinner tonight, we gathered in the family room to play a game that Isaac gave Adam for Father's Day.

The object of said-game was fairly simple. We broke into two teams --kids versus parents-- and took turns trying to get our teammates to guess the word printed on a card. What makes this particular version of a fairly standard game more unique is that all hint words must be monosyllabic. Anyone who violates that rule gets bopped in the head with an inflatable bat.

I didn't have especially high hopes, but it was actually fun and generated real laughter. So for those sweet unexpected lighthearted moments, I am thankful.

July 5

It was a very quiet, very chill kind of Friday. Just the Mother Ship in the morning with my girl, and then home to whittle away another 105 degree day in the air conditioning.

It was, as is often the case, very soothing to sit in my usual chair, working on my latest new project while watching a ballgame on the tube. (And the latter was extra-gratifying because the A's are playing my Orioles this weekend. After many painful years of watching Baltimore lose to Oakland, it's pretty sweet to watch them play well and win.)

Small things, big blessings, much gratitude. That about sums it up.

July 4

We've spent many a pleasant afternoon enjoying Oakland A's games at the Coliseum over the past 24 years. It's far from a glamorous venue, but it's familiar and played host to many memorable moments. If you pay attention to baseball, you know that future like-experiences are numbered, as the A's are set to play their final game in Oakland at the end of the current season. It's a sad (and frustrating) turn of events, but that's neither here nor there at the moment. What's true right now is that we spent part of our 4th of July watching them beat the Angels by a final score of 5-0.

We secured our gameday giveaways --A's Hawaiian shirts-- and then made our way to our seats. Said-seats were situated in full-sun and it was hot-hot-hot out, so we moved back into the shade and enjoyed the action from more comfortable environs. (Fortunately, the stadium was relatively empty and there were more than enough shady seats for everyone looking to escape the sun.)

Anyway, it was nice to be out there watching the game in person once again. It was fun to see the home team win and it was amusing to see the pic I snapped of Adam and Brady and quickly dropped on Instagram make an appearance on the JumboTron between innings. 

It was, in short, good family fun. And I am grateful for the experience. And for all of the memories made at the Coliseum over the last quarter-century.

July 3

I'm always telling our kiddos to feel free to invite friends over to our house since we have a pool and lots of space, but they usually refuse. So I was surprised (and gratified) when Isaac asked if he could do so today.

I helped him neaten up the main floor and set up a cooler of drinks out on the deck and several bags of chips in the kitchen. And then when the clock ticked to the planned start time, I stole away in my bedroom and let them have run of the house.

I didn't engage with them much save a few greetings, but I could hear them laughing while they were playing video games in the living room, and I briefly saw them splish-splashing out in the pool. It was a hot one out today --over 100 degrees at noon-- so I'm I was thankful to have the pool and even more thankful that Isaac opted to share that blessing with his pals.

It was so good for my heart to see my boys --because Brady was right there with them-- relaxed and having a good time. Friendship is a blessing, and it makes me happy to be able to share our blessings --namely our home and pool-- with others.

July 2

Abby's been asking for the usual Good Grades ice cream for a week or two now. Since it was still over 90 degrees at 8:30 this evening, it seemed as good a day as any to make it happen. The boys went with cotton candy and gummy bears (which I still find to be a puzzling combo) while Abby chose a much saner mix.

Between the three of them, there were lots of As and some Bs scattered across last semester's report cards. All in all, good academic performances (with some room for improvement). 

But even better, when I look at them, I see a trio of good people who have good hearts and want to make good choices. So for that, I am thankful.

July 1

Isaac had an early practice today, and when I went upstairs to make sure he was awake, I discovered that Brady was still asleep. 

I didn't have a lot of time to savor the moment, but I did creep into his room as quietly as I could manage and snapped this photo.

He looked so sweet lying there clutching BearBear (whose feet are prominently featured) that it made me smile. 

He's growing up fast, but he's still a kid. And I'm grateful for both of those realities.