February 18

Adam made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner this evening after he got home from work.

It's not unusual for him to cook, but it was especially appreciated today as I've not been feeling the best. 

As I munched on that crunchy garlic bread, I reflected on what a blessing it is to have a partner who is an actual partner; who shares responsibility and helps to keep our household afloat in practical ways. I know that not everyone enjoys that kind of luxury.

So for the blessing that my hunny is to me, I am grateful.

February 17

It was cold and rainy today. And by "rainy" I mean downpour-y. (As I sit here writing, in fact, the rain is pelting the roof with impressive and vaguely frightening ferocity.) While I was trying to avoid going outside, Brady was at school finding out that he will indeed play for the freshman baseball team this year with uniform number 15. So some good news there (and a heads' up to those of you who supported the baseball program when Isaac played: I'm sure we'll be in touch soon!). 

With all of that said, after Adam and I returned from dinner at Mexico Lindo (sorry Abby), I was very happy to switch on my electric blanket and wrap myself in its warmth. Although our current 41-degree temp may seem warm to lots of you (and part of me -- the young part of me who grew up back east and actually had to deal with snow and ice during the winter months -- acknowledges that it's not actually that cold), it's chilly to me now. 

So today, I'm thankful to God for good news that made Brady launch into his cute, rapid-talking  excited-mode, and for warm blankets on cold days. 

February 16

Since it's President's Day and I didn't need to be anywhere in particular today, I didn't set my alarm clock last night. So I slept in this morning. (And I mean really slept in.)

When I first emerged from my room, I found Brady in the kitchen trying to figure out what he wanted to eat. After mulling his choices, he asked if he could use some of the greens from the hydroponic garden (because that's what the stand I mentioned yesterday is actually called) in a smoothie.

So that's what he did: he took some parsley, spinach, and crunchy leaf lettuce and combined it with strawberries, milk, yogurt, and ice to create his smoothie. And then he gave me some, too.

I love watching him (and his siblings) as they gradually become more responsible and independent. (And I love it when they share the fruits of their labor and creativity with me, too.) It's all a blessing.

February 15

Adam got me this indoor farm stand contraption for my birthday last month. It's kind of complicated, but the watered down explanation is that you put seedlings that were started in peat pellets into spaces on this big self-watering stand that includes built-in LED lights. And then you wait for your produce to grow.

Mine is currently growing several different varieties of lettuce, spinach, and a few other greens, and I occasionally stop by the stand to pluck a leaf to munch on between meals. And they are all just so fresh and good.

Anyway, tonight as he was making dinner, Adam asked me to harvest some lettuce from the stand, so I did. 

And it was, not surprisingly, really tasty stuff; the kind of tasty that makes me close my eyes and think "mmmm, goodness from dirt". (Lest that sounds weird --and I'm sure it does-- I've always had an affinity for foods that I think of as earthy.) So tonight, I'm grateful for fresh food and for the setup that allows me to easily grow my own.

February 14

Ah, Valentine's Day. Our day of love began with Isaac heading off to camp, but not as a camper or a work crew volunteer this time. One of the leaders for the Young Life middle school Presidents' weekend camp got sick, so they asked Isaac to step in as a leader. He's in charge of a cabin of eighth grade boys and I'm praying that he has a great time (and is filled with a huge dose of patience for his charges).

Then several additional hours were spent at the high school watching the freshmen boys finish up tryouts with an intersquad scrimmage. Brady was the first pitcher up and, to be blunt, he struggled. Badly. He's been sick all week and felt particularly awful this morning, but he knew it was important to show so he suited up and hit the diamond. I could tell from the first warm-up pitch that his velocity was way (way) down, and the boys took advantage. Fortunately, he played good defense and had a nice hit too, so hopefully his success earlier in the week will make up for today's gaffe on the mound. (And hopefully the black eye he gave himself getting into the car after --yep, getting into the car ("why is the door frame curved like that?!")-- will heal up soon, too.

Nonetheless, it was good to be outside. It was good to watch my baby play his first game on the Varsity field. It was good to have brief conversations with some friends. And although our Valentine's Day didn't offer much traditional drippy-candled Valentine'ing (aside from the chocolates and peanut butter pretzels and large Conversation hearts I got for the boys and Adam and the candy and flowers Adam got for me), it was still full of love in more practical forms. So for that, I am grateful.

February 13

Nikki and I took one of our mall walks this morning. I was a little early so while I waited for her, I plunked down in front of Mini Cat Town to stare at the kitties (like I do).

The little grey tabby on the right immediately strolled right up to the window and parked herself in front of me. And although I tried (hard), she wasn't interested in making eye contact. A few minutes later, the one on the left came over to say hi; she walked right up to the window and looked right at me. 

And I talked to them through the glass until Nikki arrived.

I'm too allergic to cats to own one, but it's always a blessing when I can interact with them (safely, through glass). 

February 12

The remembrance of Logan continued this evening with more chocolate cake after dinner. And it was so, so delicious, so it's safe to say that I am grateful that God inspired someone to create chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

But what I feel prompted to write about tonight is something that happened yesterday at the Red Cross. I was sitting in the cantina area sipping a bottle of water and playing on my phone while I waited for Adam to finish his donation process when a familiar song that I don't hear often these days began playing on the radio.

And I chuckled, because it was "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" by Whitney Houston. Most probably don't know this, but the songstress died on February 11, 2012 -- the same day as Logan. When I first heard that she'd passed, I thought that it was rather ironic that someone who sang so fervently about dancing died on the same day as my kiddo who loved little more than shaking his booty to the music. 

In that moment in the donation center, as I listened to those lyrics, I could see him smiling and laughing and dancing on the big screen in my mind. So for that timely gift from God, I am grateful.

February 11

Fourteen years. When I type it out, it seems... unfathomable. But regardless of my ability to believe it, today marks the 14th anniversary of sweet Logan's passage from my arms to those of our Savior. And even after all the years that have passed since I last saw him take a breath on this side of Heaven, I'm still not sure how to react to what happened. But I do the best I can.

And this year's version of "the best" began with my usual stop at Starbucks. I nestled into a chair and sipped my coffee and nibbled on a slice of chocolate pistachio loaf, which I tried for the first time because of its tangential relation to chocolate cake; as I reasoned on Facebook, I like to think that Logan's taste would've matured to appreciate more flavors by the time he was 19 years old. While there, I had a brief conversation with Jim, one of the quartet of eightysomething gentlemen who hold court at a big table each morning; I quietly shared that it was the anniversary of my son's death, and after a pause, he remarked, with great sadness in his eyes, that he couldn't imagine anything more painful than losing a child. 

Then it was back home, where I continued with my Bible reading and then joined Adam to watch some Olympic coverage. We watched athletes live out their dreams in skiing. And on a day like today, that feels like a worthy activity.

Next up we went to Costco for lunch as we sometimes do on this day. Logan had an affinity for that cheesy cheese pizza, so we took the opportunity to enjoy one of his favorite meals before traversing the aisles in search of necessities. While there we picked up a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (and spoiler alert -- we enjoyed it after dinner and it was delicious. He would approve). Then a little later we donated blood, as we do every year. And then dinner --before the cake and after Isaac brought Brady home from baseball tryouts-- was spaghetti and meatballs, another Logan-favorite.

So that was my day. As I noted at the outset of this entry, I'm still not sure what to make of the reality that he's not here; of the hard truth that God didn't answer my fervent prayers in the way that I so hoped that He would. And I've come to realize that I probably won't understand on this side of Heaven because I can't know the mind of God. But despite my uncertainty about the circumstances that came to pass, I am certain about a few things: for one, Logan is in Heaven. Two, God is still unassailably good, even though Logan is in Heaven and not physically present in my life. And three, we will see that sweet boy again some day. And for the knowledge of those important truths, I am as grateful as I could possibly be.

February 10

Brady hasn't been feeling well for about a week now. Since his primary complaint is a sore throat, I decided to take him to urgent care this afternoon in order to rule out strep.

He was --as I hope he'd be at 15 years of age-- agreeable about the whole thing; he put up with both the nasal (for COVID and the flu) and throat swabs and waited for the results without complaint.

In the end, all of the tests came back negative, so I gave him some Delsym Cough and Sore Throat this evening and told him to get some good sleep. Hopefully, prayerfully, he'll feel better very soon.

The experience reminded me that easygoing kids who roll with the proverbial punches are a blessing. So I am thankful for mine.

February 9

The boys didn't have school today --in remembrance of Lincoln's birthday-- but the baseball calendar marches forward regardless of holidays so Brady had day one of freshman team tryouts this afternoon.

When I picked him up afterward, I asked how it went and then held my breath (because after years of being a sports mom, it's what I've trained myself to do). I released said-breath in relief when he replied with an enthusiastic "actually, it was good!" as he slipped into the backseat with his gear.

In short, he pitched well and hit well, so he was satisfied. And given that he wasn't feeling the best when I dropped him off, that realization was a blessing to my mama-heart. I know what he can do so I was relieved that his under-the-weather'ness  didn't significantly impact his performance.

(And yes, the photo has nothing to do with tryouts or Brady because I didn't think to take one as I picked him up. This is actually a photo of my current work-in-progress. It's backwards so it's impossible to make out the pattern, but it's a fun one. And I'm enjoying it. So that's a blessing, too.)

February 8

Abby and Adam typically video chat on Sunday afternoons.

During today's call, Brady and I both leaned over Adam's shoulders to say hello. I laughed to myself when I saw the three of us clustered together in the upper lefthand corner of the screen, just because I thought we all looked very cute.

So much to the kiddos' collective chagrin, I snapped a photo. (And then I snapped this one, because Abby didn't want me to post a non-approved photo of her.)

Anyway, the sight made me feel a heightened sense of gratitude for our family and for the technological advancements that make keeping in touch via video calls possible. Because phone calls and text messages and emails just aren't the same as connecting face to face.

February 7

Adam was napping and I was taking in some Olympic coverage on TV this afternoon when Isaac appeared with a football in hand and went outside. Brady followed him into the backyard a few minutes later.

I finished the crochet row I was working on (since of course I was multitasking) and looked outside to see what they were up to. Rather than seeing the simple game of catch that I'd expected, I watched as they took turns hiking the ball and running around the pool to catch the pass.

They were getting exercise and having fun together. 

I love their relationship. And I'm grateful to be able to watch it continue to grow.

February 6

The sun was out and the temp was a comfortable sixtysomething late this morning, so I took the opportunity to take a solo stroll around the neighborhood.

Since we've enjoyed several sixtysomething days of late, signs of Spring abounded, including these cherry blossoms that adorned a random tree.

I do love the look of Springtime: how the bees go about their important business and how the plants sprout new leaves and flowers like these. (And pollen. That's the part I don't like so much.)

How the whole world seems to revel in the splendor of new --and refreshed-- life. So for all of that beauty and promise, I am grateful to God.

February 5

I was awakened this morning by the sound of the garage door opening as the boys headed off to their Thursday pre-school Bible study. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and craned my neck to look out the window. And when I did, I saw a whole lotta nothing, because it was foggy. And I mean fog-e -- it took my brain a few seconds to compute but I eventually concluded that the notorious Tule Fog must've made its way in from the Central Valley.

As I headed out to get my coffee a short time later, I marveled at how the fog nestled into every nook and cranny, obscuring even the most obvious and familiar details from view. I continued along the usual path --albeit more slowly and cautiously-- but still felt a twinge of fear because I couldn't see what was ahead.

I think life can be like that sometimes, particularly when when we find ourselves in situations where the outcome is up in the air and we can't see what's coming next. And that can be scary, because The Unknown is often filled with more questions than we can answer. And if you're like me, you like answers.

But the good news is that the path we're to follow is still there, even if we can't see it, because God laid out the pavement before us. It's our job to keep going --varying the pace when need be-- and trusting that the fog will eventually lift because He said it would.

February 4

I was driving behind a truck with a trailer on my way to Target this morning. Said vehicle was poking along well below the posted speed limit, so after uttering a few frustrated words under my breath, I began plotting to pass it when traffic cleared. 

Then I noticed the text scrawled across the back of the trailer and I drew in a sharp breath, because the letters strung together read 'Logan'. And suddenly, I felt perfectly content right where I was, slow pace and all. In a weird way, it was like being 'with' him once again.

With Logan's anniversary just a week away, he's been on my mind even more than usual. And seeing his name there in an unexpected place felt like an unexpected gift.

February 3

When Adam asked what I wanted to do for date night, I thought about it for a few hours and eventually decided on something unusual: In N Out.

I don't know why, but I developed a hankering for those well-done fries and that saucy cheeseburger. And honestly, I didn't really feel like going out, so eating in seemed like a great plan.

And although Adam's been working on his laptop since he finished his food, it's still been a blessing to sit here near him watching "Lakefront Bargain Hunt" and crocheting. Because any time spent with my hunny is a blessing.

February 2

I bought three cakes of a beautiful purple variegated yarn on clearance a month or so ago. I'm not generally one who does much with multicolored yarns but as soon as I saw these, I thought "pullover sweater." So they came home with me and sat on my dresser until I finished the mint green baby blanket a few days ago, which gave me the go-ahead to start something new.

(This strange puke-like shade is a terrible representation of the actual color. It's much prettier than this. Promise.)

Anyway, I finished with the front and back panels over the weekend. Today, I seamed the shoulders, completed one sleeve, and began the second. 

This kind of project is very fulfilling for me. It's rewarding to feel like I'm creating something useful, and as I've said before, I am thankful to God for the gift of being able to crochet. The act of exercising creativity is like unlocking a new level of life enjoyment for me.

February 1

After the church service this morning, Adam, Isaac, and Brady suddenly noticed they were all wearing plaid with shades of brown and gray.

I sensed an unexpected moment of male bonding taking place, so naturally I whipped out my phone and had them pose for a photo. My guys. (Well, three of them. Logan is there too, in his way, but it's always weird for me to reference the men in our family without giving him a nod, too.)

They're all Wight men so they share lots of common traits, but they're also as different as the patterns of their respective shirts suggest. Fortunately for me, all of those differing traits and tendencies (usually) work together to create a beautiful harmony

. They're all wonderful people, and I am very (very) blessed and humbled to be able to call myself their wife and mother. 

January 31

It was nice (albeit hazy) out today, so Adam and I embraced the opportunity to take an afternoon walk.

As always, it was a blessing to be out and about getting some exercise with my main squeeze. He agreed with me that with Isaac's three-for-three college acceptances and Abby passing her CSETs (which was yesterday's big news) and all three getting straight A's last semester, it's been a good season for our kiddos.

So today, I'm thankful for time with my hunny that gave us the chance to reflect on and discuss some of our many blessings. It is, after all, very easy to forget to be grateful to God when things are going well. And I never want to fall into that trap, because without His grace, I would have nothing at all.

January 30

When the boys got home from school today, Isaac popped into my room --where I was busily working on a baby blanket-- and announced that he was happy. I asked why, and he shared that one of his good friends had approached him this morning and asked Isaac what he would think if he (the friend) converted to Christianity.

Isaac does a good job of living out his faith, especially given that he's still just 17. He goes to Young Life events and invites his friends --regardless of whether or not they identify as Christian-- to come along. And a number of them do. If they need a ride, he picks them up and takes them home. He volunteers with on AWANA night at church and with the kids on Sundays. He knows that knowing Jesus --and having a relationship with Him-- is important, and he acts on his faith.

The revelation about his friend's comment --and Isaac's genuinely joyful reaction to it-- did my heart so much good. He asked me to pray for his pal so I did and will continue to do so, but for now, I am thankful for my kiddo's sweet heart and for his willingness to share. I may be a 48-year old woman, but I could still learn a lot from him in this particular area.

January 29

I'm really enjoying my crochet projects these days. 

I'm currently alternating between two of them --a baby blanket (shown here) and a shawl-- and since they're two different patterns and two different yarns, they're holding my interest well. I may even finish both, and in relatively quick fashion, too.

I am thankful for how crocheting helps me to relax and focus, both on the work itself and on God. It sounds a little hokey as I write it, but "pray" and "crochet" go together like peanut butter and jelly. And it's definitely good for me to pray more.

January 28

After dinner tonight, Brady disappeared into the kitchen and I heard the fridge open. A moment later, I heard a thunk followed by an explanation from the previously-mentioned snack seeker: a cup of yogurt fell out. So he proceeded to put the non-spilled yogurt in a bowl along with a different kind of yogurt.

He came back to the family room, sat down, and then sprang back up again a moment later and exclaimed "I thought I saw some bacon in there." The fridge opened yet again, and he returned a minute later with his yogurt and bacon combo.

And he ate the whole bowl.

I could just be grossed out (and I still am, at least a little bit), but I'm more amused by his creativity. And I'm also oddly pleased that he was willing to consume such a strange dish, because he's always had a rather picky palate. So today, I'm thankful that he's willing to try new things, because being adaptable is a blessing.

January 27

This is --literally-- the decaf mocha that I enjoyed after dinner this evening. I sipped it slowly, taking more than a few moments to appreciate how the sprinkle of cinnamon that topped its foamy cap mingled with the sweetness of chocolate and coffee.

And as I drank my sweet concoction, I reflected on the truth that our family is in the midst of a sweet season: School is going well for the kiddos, work isn't noxious for Adam, and I'm happily crocheting again. There are big changes ahead, particularly for our two to-be graduates, but each of them have great options available to pursue. And both of them have been gifted with so much potential.

So today, I'm grateful to God for those mocha-sweet seasons of life when, despite the troubles of this world, the power of hope in Christ stands extra tall.

January 26

I'd just finished Bible Study this morning when Isaac sent a one-line message to the group chat that made my heart leap in my chest.

His second college acceptance; just one more to go before all of his results are in and he'll have to make a big decision about his next adventure.

No one --except maybe Isaac-- was surprised that he was accepted to Wheaton because he's just the kind of person they look for as a student: curious, kind, community-minded, and dedicated to living a life of faith in Jesus.

Although he's nervous about choosing a school, I'm thankful to God that he has options because he deserves to feel like he's worthy. 

January 25

I was fully expecting Brady to be salty after today's 2-1 loss. He did, after all, strike out in both of his at-bats and I'm not sure he ever touched the ball on defense. There was much for him to be bummed over.

But he wasn't upset at all. In fact, one of the first things he said after we'd enclosed ourselves in the comfort and safety of the car was "Christian and Ben think I should play tight end next year." It took me a hot second to figure out that he was talking about football. 

And then, a few minutes later, as we hurtled back up the freeway toward home, he asked a question: "Was that pitch I struck out on during my first at bat really a strike?" (The answer? No, but the umpire was calling low and outside a strike all day long. On our team, at least.)

No complaining. No frustration. No dwelling or ruminating. Just "I didn't think it was. Oh well."

He's a perfectionist and doesn't like it when things aren't just-so, so I'm proud of him for handling what I figure was some pretty significant irritation with such maturity and grace. He's growing up. And I'm grateful to God that I get to watch that process happen. 

And as these guys head off to play for their separate high school teams, I'm also grateful to God for this TVBR cohort that we've been part of for the past three years. Getting to know these families and watching all of the boys grow has been a unique blessing.

January 24

Brady's TVBR team hit the diamond for the first time in two and a half months this afternoon to take part in a tune-up tournament (of sorts. It's an actual tournament, but it's really more of a chance to get some playing time in before the high school season begins next month. And yes, it's very jarring to type "Brady" and "high school season" in the same sentence).

An 0-fer day at the plate left Brady emoting salty vibes as we headed back out to the car afterward, but he really had nothing to feel badly about. He was the starting pitcher for game one and tossed two scoreless innings. He also played innings in all three outfield positions and at first base and had a few solid defensive plays.

They wound up with a seven-inning 0-0 tie in the first game, and a 6-3 win in the second, which makes them the three-seed (out of nine teams) entering tomorrow. 

It was fun being out there again. It was a beautiful, sunny 60-degree day and it felt comfortable being at the ballpark (well, except when Brady was pitching because that always makes my heart race). Baseball has been a part of our family's life for a long time now, and it's always been a place where I've found friends and laughter and commiseration. And joy; definitely lots of that. And some tears, too, and that's okay, because tears are a valuable part of this life that God can use to teach many unique lessons.

It was nice to have a little break over Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I'm grateful to be starting a new baseball season soon, and I'm hopeful that Brady will enjoy the experiences that are to come.

January 23

I was taking a quick walk up the street to squeeze in some extra steps this afternoon when the boys arrived home from school.

I took a picture of them (Brady's in the passenger seat though it's hard to see him) as they passed by. In response, Isaac rolled down the window to wave and shout out "love you, mama!" as they continued on toward the house.

It still feels strange that they're on their own with respect to getting to and from school (and Youth Group and for Isaac, work) but I'm adjusting. And I'm thankful that they're continuing to mature into responsible young people.

January 22

I was hanging out at the Mother Ship this morning (as usual), sitting in my customary spot with my crochet bag at my feet, when Dana came in and sat down next to me. And then a few minutes later, Lisa entered and sat down. The two had enjoyed a morning walk and then arranged to meet up at a Starbucks after. I've known both of them for a number of years now and always enjoy having the opportunity to catch up.

So although I'd initially planned to put a few more rows in a baby blanket I was making and then run to the store, I wound up sitting with them until noon talking (and taking in at least one extremely Not Funny At The Time But Extremely Funny Now story that made me laugh so hard that my chest ached).

The unexpected conversation was good for my heart, so today I'm grateful to God for "random" encounters with friends that add bright color to my day.

January 21

Abby has always been a good writer but she's also always shied away from sharing her work. So I was a little surprised when she mentioned that she'd submitted a short story to Wheaton's literary magazine last Fall. 

There's a competitive selection process involved so there were no guarantees that her piece would be accepted, but it was. And yesterday, she linked Adam and I to her story's home online.

I checked with her and she's okay with me sharing, so if you're interested in checking it out, click here.

I'm so proud of her for venturing outside of her comfort zone and deciding to submit. And I'm grateful to God for giving her the talent to write. I pray that she'll be able to use it to both express herself and to shine a light on His glory in the years to come. 

January 20

Adam has this habit of looking away while he's talking to me; it's like it helps him to gather and organize his thoughts, so it doesn't typically bother me.

Tonight at dinner, I watched as he ate his steak and shrimp and shared about his day. And as he gazed up and off to the side like he has so many times over the past two decades plus, I thought "what a cutie he is." And I silently marveled over how the white hair on his chin makes him look distinguished.

I don't love the aging process for myself, but it's a blessing to have someone wonderful to age along with. And I have a pretty great someone, so I am grateful.

January 19

Yesterday I mentioned to Adam that the steps up to the upper deck in the yard needed some attention: they've been covered by these hard, prickly little vines that make it difficult for a few months now.

So I was gratified when, after a Home Depot and Costco run, he headed outside to remedy the problem. And I was even more gratified when Isaac changed his clothes and followed his dad out to help with the task.

I'm thankful to the two of them for sacrificing some of their holiday free time to address an issue I pointed out. And I'm grateful to God for forming servant's hearts within each of them.

January 18

After the sermon at church this morning, our pastor invited a woman from a local pregnancy resource center up to share about her ministry.

And I actually got excited hearing about the organization's mission to support pregnant mothers and new parents in our area. 

I visited their table following the service and chatted some with the representatives. I felt bubbles of inspiration floating to the surface of my chest as I learned that yes, they need baby blankets. It felt like God was telling me "your talent is not without purpose; what you create can and will be used if you provide it to them!"

Now I didn't rush home and start a baby blanket (because I'm still wrestling with the strawberry sweater's sleeves and know that if I put it down, it'll stay down for months), but I'll get to it soon because I can feel the call to do so. And given that I find myself with significantly more time on my hands than was the case for a long while, I am grateful for that call.

January 17

It was a bit of a bummer day for the males in the house as the Niners lost their Divisional playoff game to the dreaded Seahawks, but these two managed to keep the mood light.

I have no idea what they were doing here, but it was the first stage of their post-game display of weirdness. They went on to use Steve (the stuffie Isaac is holding) as a football in the living room, and once that ended, Isaac carried Brady back into the family room and plunked him down in a chair before announcing that though he's dealing with a stuffy nose right now, he's looking forward to getting back to the gym.

It was all very, very random and very, very "them." And I am grateful for the way they can lighten a mood just by being their oft-silly selves.

January 16

I can think of few blessings greater than time spent with a good friend.

So this morning was especially sweet. I met Nikki at Bill's Cafe for breakfast. It was crowded (as is usually the case) but we got a little table in good time, and lingered over our crab cake eggs benedict (me) and veggie scramble (her).

Then we headed off to the mall, where we walked and talked (and actually shopped. We don't usually shop while we're there so it was an anomaly. And it definitely affected our step counts!). 

So yes, it was a good morning. I'm thankful for her continued friendship and for our ability to talk about anything and everything, because we all need connections like that in this life.

January 15

I’ve been battling with the strawberry sweater sleeves for a few days now. My first attempt didn't go well at all; I missed a stitch early on and was unable to make the pattern work. So I frogged it.

Attempt number two involved me going completely off-book. While I can get away with doing that on most pieces, I discovered that my creativity didn't work so well with sleeves. Since I didn't like how it looked at all, I frogged it.

And that brings me to attempt number three, which I started this afternoon. I was very careful to follow the pattern instructions to a T and so far, it looks really nice. And I may have let out a sigh of relief tinged with satisfaction as I saw how well the pattern was coming together.

My stop and start, trial and error experience with sleeve construction mirrors the human experience that we all know. Sometimes it takes multiple tries before we're able to "get it right", so to speak. And I think God uses those failed test runs to teach us about patience and perseverance. And when we finally get it right, I think He celebrates right alongside us. 

So for that truth (and for the blessing of sleeves that finally look right) I am thankful.

January 14

Anne Wilson released a song called "God Story" in the middle of last year and I've liked it ever since I first heard it play on The Message. 

It is, at its core, a song about redemption; about rising up and continuing to live with hope and joy despite devastating circumstances. And it's about accomplishing that feat by relying on God and not your own strength or abilities. 

I guess you could say that the message resonates with me.

I also find it to be deeply convicting. Although I acknowledge that Jesus is my savior and I draw strength from Him, I don't think I do a particularly good job of sharing my story as a God story. Because my life is a God story. I survived a number of not-so-great circumstances early on and then the illness and passing of my sweet Logan and now live and breathe and move and thrive because of His grace and mercy. And I pray that God will use my God story to lead others to faith.

January 13

I went to the Spring sports (read: baseball) meeting at the boys' school this evening. Since Isaac is now acting as Brady's chauffer and they had Youth Group, I met Adam for a late dinner downtown after it was over.

After several years of just sort of bobbing along, we're putting a concerted effort into really talking with and listening to each other. And it makes our relatively limited time together so much richer.

So for a good (albeit brief, since I arrived at 7:35 and the restaurant closed at 8!) meal and time spent sitting with my favorite guy, I am thankful.

January 12

I started working on a "strawberry sweater" for Abby a few years ago. I put it down for a few months, forgot what pattern I was following, and wasn't able to figure it out so I left it.

And then last week, with a wee bit of prompting from my girl, I started all over again with different yarn and a new pattern. The progress has been slow, but it's taking shape. And I'm really, truly enjoying the process of creating something new.

For that sense of satisfaction, I am grateful, because feeling like I can do something meaningful for someone else is a big blessing.

January 11

Today is my 48th birthday.

I took a few minutes just now to look back at entries I've written on previous January 11ths and enjoyed the high level of detail I included, so I figure that future me will appreciate the nuts and bolts of number 48, too. So here goes.

I woke up eight-something and texted Adam to let him know I was awake; he in turn asked me what kind of ice cream I'd like with my (white cake with strawberry frosting) cake. (I initially chose chocolate, but when he responded to say that they had Neapolitan, I jumped onto the tri-flavored ship instead.) Then I mobile ordered my birthday freebie from the Mother Ship, which he very kindly picked up and brought home for me to sip. This year's winner was the newly introduced iced Dubai chocolate mocha made with almond milk. It absolutely would've been tastier with regular milk, but age has made my tummy too sensitive to handle it.

Since Abby's flight to Chicago left early this afternoon, we flipped our usual birthday schedule so she could take part. That meant that gifts were up next. I settled into the loveseat next to the Christmas tree in my Pretty Room and opened a collection of very thoughtful and useful presents from my favorite people. I like and appreciate every gift I received, from the new Kindle to the wall art and picture frames. And Abby --who as I've said before is a very talented artist-- outdid herself with a drawing of my grandparents' house. I was surprised to feel tears stinging my eyes the moment I saw it and know I'll have to find a special place to hang it up.

Then it was cake-time. Adam did a great job both baking (no eggshells anywhere) and decorating (with perfect white printing) my very pink cake. And he also did a great job of loading said-cake with 48 candles and successfully transporting the inferno to the kitchen table without extinguishing any of the tiny flames. I, on the other side of the cake, did a good job of blowing out every single candle on my very first try. It was a winning moment.

The saddest part of the day followed as we loaded into the car to take Abby to the airport. Although it was a bummer to see her go, it was actually a very entertaining ride as Adam had prepared a specific playlist and BearBear sang some of his special cover songs during the journey.

Lunch was at CPK, where I had one of the best pizzas I've had there (the Neapolitan Burrata) and a cute little birthday sundae. And then we headed back home for the day. Since it was wildcard weekend for the NFL playoffs and the Niners were playing the Eagles at 1:30, I knew my guys would want to be near the TV to catch the action. I joined them for a while and worked on a sweater I've been crocheting for Abby, but eventually stole away to the bedroom to watch an old episode of "Columbo" on my new Blu Ray player. (We haven't had one in years since we typically stream content, but Adam got me one so I could watch my old DVDs. I love it!) I could tell what was going on out in the family room based on the intermittent shouting, and emerged to join them again after the Niners secured the win. (It was too stressful and loud to sit through the whole game.)

Although I'd initially planned to eat my leftover lunch pizza for dinner, "Columbo" made me hungry so I caved and ate it during the afternoon hours. So I requested a breakfast sandwich from Jack in the Box for dinner, and we ate while watching the night game.

And that was the play by play of my day. Aside from Abby needing to head back to school for the Spring semester, it was a wonderful, happy day filled with lots of family time and awesome presents and cake and emails and texts from friends. I am grateful to God for the 48 years I've had on this earth and for the people He's put in my life to help me to learn and become a better woman. And most of all, I am grateful that Jesus came to save me from myself. I am blessed beyond measure.

January 10

My birthday is tomorrow, and Adam's parents made the drive down to our house this morning to drop off some gifts and a box of donuts from Johnny's in Lafayette.

We stuck candles in a maple bar donut (one of my favorites) and they sang Happy Birthday, and then we had a nice time just chit chatting around the kitchen island.

I would've been totally fine with waiting to celebrate until the next family gathering, but it was very kind of them to take the time to visit so close to my actual birthday. I'm definitely a person who considers presence a present, so their effort was a blessing to me. 

And for that --and for the rest of today, which was spent with Adam and Abby and Isaac and Brady just watching football and playing cards-- I am grateful. It was a lovely way to finish up with 47.

January 9

I had a really nice Friday. It started with Abby at the Mother Ship (well, we didn't wake up there -- we went there after waking up) where we enjoyed coffee (me) and a gingerbread latte (her; I said it was her version of my upcoming birthday dinner, since she heads back to school the morning of said-birthday and will miss it). And then one of my employee-pals let me choose which new drink to serve up as a sample, so we got to try the Dubai chocolate iced mocha. (The verdict? Good enough to potentially be my birthday freebie, despite the appalling calorie count.)

From there we went to the Postal Annex to have some photocopies made, and then headed over to the post office in Sunol to submit our passport paperwork. (Highly recommended experience, by the by! It's a tiny facility and there's almost no one there. And Sunol is just so cute and small town America'y that just being there fills me with a sweet sense of nostalgia for days gone by.)

Then we hit up Michaels and Target before returning home for lunchtime, and I had fun just window shopping with my favorite girl.

In the evening hours after dinner, we all went to Coldstone for ice cream to celebrate first semester report cards. Although transcripts aren't officially out yet, I'm proud to report that all three kiddos earned straight A's for the first time ever. Adam and I are both really pleased by the effort they each put into their work and were happy to reward their work with some sweet treats (even if I still think the words "gummy bears" and "ice cream" shouldn't appear in the same sentence much less the same cup).

It was a good day filled to the brim with the blessing that is time with my most beloved people. And I am grateful for that time.

January 8

Abby can be quite funny.

For example, tonight after dinner she went upstairs, retrieved Chub from Brady's room, and brought him down into the family room. Then she proceeded to dance with him.

I'm not entirely sure why she did it, but it was an amusing scene. And given how not-funny many things about this life can be, her random bursts of humor are welcome blessings.

January 7

A new era has begun at the Wight House. Since Isaac has now had his license for over a year, we've formally entered the Bigger Brother Drives the Little Brother to and from School Era.

That's right: for the rest of the school year --until Isaac graduates-- he and Brady will arise each morning and venture off to Amador together. I went outside with them this morning and watched from the garage as they loaded into the Explorer and left.

It's a strange, strange feeling.

It's the first time since Abby started kindergarten back in 2009 that I haven't had a morning school drop-off. I've mulled what I'll do with my newly loosened schedule: sleep more? Walk to the Mother Ship instead of driving? Both of the above? I'm not sure yet.

Although I feel a bit like my usefulness is waning, I'm grateful that my kiddos are becoming more capable with each passing day. It's a huge blessing to be able to watch them mature into responsible, faithful teens and young adults.

January 6

We're gradually working our way back to the normal school year schedule. We've enjoyed a wonderful couple of weeks hanging out at home together, but Abby heads back to Chicago on Sunday (which doubles as my birthday) and the boys go back to class tomorrow. (Yes, on a Wednesday. I have no idea why.)

And tonight, Isaac and Brady went back to Youth Group while Abby joined Adam and I for our date night at Mexico Lindo. 

My rather grizzled appearance aside, I've had a really good break. I've enjoyed having my babies in the nest. I've enjoyed listening to them laugh as they played Mario Kart and Mario Golf. I've enjoyed playing cards and listening to music. It's been a blessing.

It's also been a blessing to have Adam home. He doesn't take much time off work, so it was good to see him able to relax and nap as he saw fit.

So yes, as we move on to the Spring semester, I am grateful to God for a successful Fall and a restorative break. And I look forward to what He will do next.

January 5

I've been taking the kiddos to Black Bear Diner for brunch during school breaks for... well, several years now. Since the boys go back on Wednesday and Abby has a conflict tomorrow, we went this morning.

They were legitimately little kids when we first started going to Black Bear; I can remember them debating over which of their stuffies should come along to visit with the bears. So it's kind of surreal to sit with them there now, since Abby's an adult, Isaac will be an adult later this year (which is uber shocking to me), and Brady is a mid-teen.

I could be sad over the reality that they're now little anymore and part of me does indeed miss the sweetness of those days, but I'm more grateful that they're growing and maturing. And I'm most grateful that I get to be part of their lives because motherhood  is a huge blessing.

January 4

I feel like these three have had a really good weekend of sibling bonding.

There was Top Golf and video gaming yesterday.

And then today, there was church (where I had them take this pic in front of the hearth before said-hearth was undecorated for the season). And then this afternoon, they settled into the living room for yet more video gaming. It was such a blessing to sit in the family room with Adam, half watching football games and half listening to the three of them laughing and shrieking and just generally enjoying one another's company on the other side of the house.

I am grateful to God for their relationships with one another, and for how they can have fun as a group.

January 3

Our Christmas gift to Adam's dad was time at Top Golf, so we drove down to the South Bay this morning to execute the plan.

Aside from a number of trips to Putt Putt when I was growing up back in Maryland, I don't think I'd ever held a golf club before, so it was a new experience. And I can now confidently say that I am most definitely not a natural (or anything close to a natural; in fact, I'd call myself an "unnatural" or maybe even an "awkward"). 

Anyway, we settled into our two bays on the third deck and enjoyed a selection of appetizers (including some surprisingly yummy mac and cheese bites) as we battled for golfing dominance. Abby figured out a cautious strategy that worked well for her and Isaac and Brady hulked away at the ball like the baseball guys they are. And Adam impressed me with how far he was able to hit the ball. (Really.)

It was, all in all, what it was supposed to be: good fun with the fam. So for that blessing --especially as the boys head back to school this week and Abby finishes up with her own Winter Break-- I am grateful. Family is often one of the greatest gifts God gives us, but it's probably also one of the most frequently overlooked, so I'm thankful that I was able to enjoy mine today.

January 2

I spent most of today hanging out with this guy.

He brought me coffee this morning and then once it seemed like it wasn't going to rain, we went for a reasonably long walk around the neighborhood.

Then this afternoon and into the evening, we watched two movies. I felt like watching a classic Hitchcock film so I went with "To Catch a Thief" (which I'd seen before but didn't really remember). Then he picked the much more recent "Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery." Both mysteries but quite different choices, but both good picks.

At this moment Isaac has some pals over, Abby is running, Brady is at a friend's house and said-husband is snoozing across the room on a couch.

Nothing about today was pre-planned, but the activities as they rolled out were perfect. And I am grateful to God to have had another day of goodness with my favorite folks.

January 1

Happy New Year! We kicked off 2026 with Martinelli's (for them) and prosecco (for me) at midnight. (Or a few seconds after; the ball drop replay was behind so we got confused.) And then we all went to bed. (Us Wights are big partiers! Incidentally, lest it looks strange, my hair was pulled back awkwardly since I'd been walking on my wee treadmill.)

Anyhow, we spent the bulk of the actual daylight hours watching college football bowl games. Isaac went to the gym and Brady biked to the park to long toss with a friend and Adam and Abby went for a walk around the 'hood. While everyone else was doing their own things, I spent some time in prayer to try to center myself.

I've not historically been one to set resolutions; I have what I call an addictive personality, so my "goals" for myself more often than not turn into fixations (or even obsessions in some cases). So I go easy on setting standards or timelines for accomplishments. But I do want to make sure to savor every moment I have with these people this year, and I'm hoping to be able to take some fun trips (to as-of-now undetermined locations) with them and just soak in the goodness of being their wife and mother. Because the gift of being part of their lives --of continuing to grow alongside all of them as they continue to grow-- is one of the biggest blessings God has given me.