March 12

Abby heads back to Wheaton for her last two months of college on Sunday (which is completely insane to me but that's an aside). Isaac had plans volunteering with Young Life for the evening, but the rest of us went to dinner at Black Bear per her request.

It was, as far as dinners with the fam go, a good one. I think we all enjoyed our meal picks (even if I did go a bit in the calorically extravagant direction with chocolate chip pancakes). And we definitely had some amusing interactions that made me laugh out loud, including Abby's incredulous observation that Isaac is "six feet tall, blonde, and tan" when faced with the reality that he's scared to talk to girls.

It was a good time, and I am --as always--grateful to God for them and for the time spent with them.

March 11

I had another nice day with this girl of mine.

We went to Starbucks and Target this morning, and then headed over to Costco around lunchtime for some pizza. (Since I knew she wanted a slice before she heads back to school this weekend.) Oh, and bananas. The employee at the door looked at me like I was nuts when I noted that all I had to carry out was a bunch of bananas.

Then this afternoon, we took Brady to his game in Castro Valley and sat together in the (very tiny and rickety) stands in our purple Amador garb. She cracked me up with her random cheers (Amadorable, anyone?) and concerns that the softball players across the way who incorrectly interpreted her squinting in their direction might beat her up.

It's good to spend time with her, and I am grateful for the minutes we've shared so far this week.

March 10

My two month stint as Adam's sugar mama came to a close today as he too celebrated his 48th birthday.

He was at work for much of the day --where he was celebrated quite nicely, based on the photos he shared that featured signs and a graphic and an array of Crumbl cookies-- so our family celebration had to wait until the evening. We all convened at Cattlemen's for dinner, and then returned home for presents and spice cake (and the beautiful set-up that Abby put out for him this morning, which included notes and a banner and balloons and a scratch-made coffee cake).

I think he had a good day. And beyond that, I hope that he felt the depth of our appreciation and love for him. He's an amazing provider and caretaker and he deserves to be spoiled. He is a gift to his family and we couldn't have been blessed with a better husband and father. 

Happy birthday, hunny! I love you!

March 9

I had a nice, vintage-style morning with Abby.

We started with a trip to the Mother Ship (because well, yeah), where I had my coffee and our pal Neil from New Zealand showed Abby photos of his stepson's single friends. (Although Neil pushed hard for the two extroverted party-guys, Abby selected the quiet one who makes sure the dishes are done.)

Then we headed over to Target and Walmart before finishing with lunch at the Cheesesteak Shop (which admittedly felt a bit Black Friday for March, but cheesesteak is always a good idea so I went with it when she floated the idea).

Anyway, it was a blessing to be able to spend time with my girl, doing things that have so often been part of our usual routine over the years. So for that time, I am grateful.

March 8

It is so wonderful to have all three of these young people under our roof for a little while.

They sat around the table trading verbal witticisms while eating lunch after church. And then when they were finished, they gathered in the living room to engage in one of their Classically Them activities: a few rounds of Mario Kart on the Switch. 

I adore them and I adore listening to them --and being near them-- as they enjoy one another's company. They're all growing up, and hopefully --prayerfully-- they'll keep growing up together.

March 7

After quite the travel saga (thanks Southwest Airlines!), Abby finally got home for Spring at about 3 this morning. 

And following some probably too-small amount of sleep, she got up, got dressed, and came with Isaac to Brady's intersquad scrimmage.

I'm sure she was still tired, but she wanted to be there to hang out with us and to support her littlest bro on the diamond. She's a good big sister like that.

And she's also a great daughter. Although it took a lot of patience to navigate the disaster that was her travel experience, she didn't lose her composure and got home unscathed. I'm proud of her for that because honestly, I'd have probably given some attitude to someone along the way if it'd been me. I'm thankful that God included patience in her blueprints.

And I'm grateful that she's home and hopeful that we have a good week ahead of us!

March 6

Abby comes home for Spring Break today. (Well, she was supposed to get home today. But four hours of flight delays unexpectedly came into play, so she'll actually be back early tomorrow morning. But I digress.)

The boys usually go upstairs to indulge in their own activities like listening to music or playing games by 8:30 or 9, but not tonight. Tonight they stuck around in the family room much longer. Only when I mused aloud that Abby's flight wouldn't even get to Oakland until 3 AM (have I mentioned that I'm annoyed?) did they go to their rooms for the evening. And I think that's because they were waiting to see her.

They don't always get along, but I know they love their big sister. And it made me smile to realize that they were waiting up to welcome her home. 

March 5

Isaac and Brady had their annual check-ups with the doctor this morning.

With the exception of a very low preliminary blood pressure reading for Isaac (which fortunately returned to normal by the time we left), the experience was uneventful for both boys. Both were given clean bills of health and neither was due for any shots.

And both were in their usual jovial moods both inside and outside of the exam room. They joked with (and about) each other and had the most fun I've ever seen kids have in a doctor's office.

And they were still in good spirits when I dropped them back off at school afterward. So for the good moods and the good reports, I am grateful, because I know that neither of those outcomes are guaranteed.

March 4

I came home from Costco early this afternoon and saw this beauty splayed across the kitchen floor.

I guess there was a glass container placed just-so on the counter that filtered the sunlight to create this bit of transient art.

I do love rainbows. They're promises from God, and I am grateful for the reminder that regardless of our immediate circumstances or difficulties, He is always faithful.

March 3

 I love bright, bold color; the kind that's so saturated that it makes my eyes go boing! Know what I mean?

I hoped for some of that super intense color from the Dianthus seedling I added to my hydroponic garden. Well, it bloomed yesterday, and I wasn't disappointed, because the petals are currently a gorgeous, vibrant shade of red. 

Life can so often feel gray and drab --especially of late-- so it's a blessing to me to be able to look across the family room and see such a lovely bit of God's creation flourishing in its space.

March 2

I very much appreciate the man Isaac is becoming. (And I really do mean "man", because he'll be 18 in just three and a half months.)

His phone spontaneously stopped working yesterday morning. Adam ordered him a replacement but it won't be here until later this week, so he's without one for a few days.

He's generally fine with that reality, but when he got home this afternoon, I'd already left for Brady's game and he realized that he had no way to get inside the house (since his entry is tied to an app). Which meant that he had no way to get to the food in the house, which he wanted to eat. And he also couldn't go to the gym since his QR code is stored in his phone. 

I felt badly for not remembering to give him a key, but he was very forgiving about the whole thing: instead of getting mad, he swung by McDonalds and then headed over to the school to join us in the stands. 

I'm thankful that he's continuing to grow into an adult who's capable of pivoting when situations change, or when things don't go as planned. Writing as someone who's never been particularly good at the art of the pivot, I'm grateful for the blessing that is Isaac's easygoing nature.

March 1

How are we already to March? If I were still a writer of checks, I'm sure I'd still using the wrong year. Ha!

Anyway, today was a quiet one. We went to church and came home this morning, and then I took a nap, worked on a project, and went on a short post-dinner walk with Adam.

Although I'd prefer it if my mind were a little calmer, days of rest are a blessing, so I'm grateful for this one and for all of the quiet moments sprinkled throughout its hours.

February 28

Today, Brady and the Freshman Dons played their first official high school games in the form of a doubleheader against Castro Valley.

It was a warm, sunny day that gave me my first winter sunburn in years, but by the time the post-game field maintenance was completed, the Dons had notched their first two wins; the first by a final score of 16-4, and the second, by a much less comfortable 5-4.

Brady definitely made contributions. As the DH in game one, he went 2 for 3 with a walk. (One of his hits was a bomb that rolled to the fence in left center, and the walk came on the 10th pitch of his first at-bat, so he made good use of his opportunities.) He also drove in two runs and scored twice. In game two, he spent a few innings in right field and then threw two scoreless innings, issuing one walk and no hits on 30 pitches. He also struck out two. It still seems like his velocity is down, but he was crafty enough with his pitch selection to make it work.

It was fun to be out there again watching one of my boys play ball. And it's an extra special blessing because this particular team has a really good feel to it: as Isaac noted, the boys all seem to get along well and there's no overt negativity gumming up the works. They all cheer for each other and there are congratulatory fist-bumps all around. My hope and prayer is that all of the positivity will continue, and that this fresh new season will be a great experience for these boys and families.

February 27

Nikki and I took our customary stroll around the mall this morning.

As we passed by the Easter Bunny set up in the center court, she joked that we needed to take our Spring portrait. So voila, we did just that. She's supposed to edit it to add a bunny but hasn't gotten around to it yet so here's the original, unaltered version.

I continue to be grateful for her and for our friendship. I love how we can make each other laugh one moment and be serious and supportive the next. 

She is a blessing.

February 26

Every now and then, I wake up in the morning, think of Logan, and my heart aches. And it's not a fleeting pain; it's an intense, full-bodied sensation that feels like it might break me in two. Long story  shorter, I had one of those experiences today.

As I laid there with my face scrunched up and pressed against the pillow --trying to harden myself against the onslaught of emotion that prior experience has taught me was on its way-- I silently prayed "Holy Spirit, come and fill the broken places with Your presence."

And then slowly, gradually, the hurt subsided. And then I had a memory followed by a distinct vision. The memory was a bit of scripture from the book of John, which I'm currently reading, in which John the Baptist says that in order for Jesus to become more, he (John) must become less. I know that in context, John was talking about the vital importance of Jesus' ministry continuing to grow, but the vision that I had made me look at his words a little differently.

See, in that moment as I felt the Holy Spirit come and relieve my pain, I also saw it pour into my heart. It filled in the cracks and crevices that would otherwise cause me immeasurable discomfort with peace beyond explanation. In essence, it brought supernatural healing to my human suffering as it renewed the injured areas of my heart. It made --and makes-- me less like broken, injured, fully human me, and more like Jesus. To borrow John's words, as the pain faded, I was becoming less while He was becoming more.

I know I could never do enough work on myself to heal the hurts I've suffered in this lifetime. I don't have that kind of power. So I'm grateful to have a Savior who does have that kind of power, and I'm grateful for the gift of being able to call on His name.

February 25

Adam is in Costa Rica this week, Isaac didn't have work, and Brady's practice got out quite late this evening, so rather than raiding the pantry or the freezer, I opted to take the boys to Black Bear for dinner.

I'm not entirely sure what inspired the barrage of quick witticisms that both of them dreamed up, but they had me walking the line between just smiling and laughing aloud from the time we left the house until we returned.

There were Brady's animated reactions to eating the butter patties that came with Isaac's pancakes and Isaac's humorous attempts at finishing the day's Connections puzzle. And then Isaac shared his plan to marry a woman with the last name Black so he could name his children after colors. (He was particularly fond of the name Grey Black-Wight.)

I guess I'd say they were in rare form. And I'm so glad that they were, because those moments are some of the best parts of being a parent. So for an unexpectedly fun and entertaining evening with my two favorite high schoolers, I am grateful.

February 24

There was a high school baseball fundraiser at a local eatery this evening. I wasn't initially thrilled about going (mostly because I was wide awake at 4:30 this morning and spent much of the afternoon alternating between tired and dozing off). But I'm glad that I did.

(I didn't think to take a photo while I was there so here's one I took of Brady and Jackson at school pick-up. I figure it works because they both play baseball.)

Anyway, I'm glad that I went because it gave me the opportunity to connect with folks that I've known for a while now and like. Better still, I realized --as I was sitting there sipping the half-glass of wine that Shannon graciously shared and listening to the buzz of conversation all around-- that I felt very comfortable. I felt like I belonged right where I was. And given how that feeling has been either absent or fleeting for me throughout much of my lifetime, it was a blessing to feel that sense of community.

February 23

It was my turn to lead Bible study this morning. I think I did a serviceable job (and the ladies in the group were more than gracious in response to my effort), but what was most notable to me from the experience was the closing prayer.

Rather than having just one person take care of it as is our usual custom, we went around the circle and took turns praying for one another's expressed needs.

And I thought it was beautiful. In fact, I could actually feel the Holy Spirit bubbling up in my chest, which isn't exactly a routine experience for me. I almost asked if anyone else could feel it when we were leaving, but opted to keep it to myself.

So for those gifts --of being able to lift one another up and of feeling connected to God in such a tangible way-- I am thankful.

February 22

The little pond in our backyard has been empty --as in bone-dry-- for months now. There were issues with the pipes that need to be addressed, so we simply turned it off and the water evaporated.

And then last week, the rains came. It poured for several days running, and when I ventured into the yard this afternoon, I found that those bountiful rains had fully filled that little pond.

I know that in my lifetime, I've had seasons that have felt very spiritually dry; almost desert-like, in fact. Barren and fruitless. So it's a blessing to remember that even the driest of land can be reinvigorated and restored to a life-giving state. For me, I know that if my heart is open to Jesus, He will enter and provide the spiritual refreshment that I need, just like the rainwater that filled our pond.

February 21

Brady donned a high school baseball uniform for the first time today. It was just a nine-inning (thankfully, home) scrimmage against Burlingame. But it was still rather surreal to see my baby wearing those duds and settling into his brand new number (15). It still seems insane that he's already in high school. I know Adam feels the same way, because as the scrimmage began, he sat back in his seat and mused "wow, it's been three years since we've watched games at this field." (Which is true, because JV and Varsity have dibs on the better field that's around the corner.)

Anyway, there are 20 kids on the freshman roster this season (which is a lot compared to Isaac's previous high school seasons) so there were a lot of kids coming in and out of the game, but overall, it was a good one for Brady. Each pitcher threw a single inning, and Brady was the first one up. He gave up one unearned run and had a strikeout (or two... I'm not positive because it was the beginning of a three-plus hour long nine inning game), so I think he was satisfied. Defensively, he spent time in center field and at first base. At the plate, he went two for two with a walk.

It was really fun to watch them play and to listen to them cheer for each other from the dugout. There's an energy and excitement there that I just don't experience anywhere else. The 18-2 final score suggests they could be a solid team, but of course only time will reveal if that's the case or not. 

Anyway, today I'm grateful for the gift that is watching my kiddos as they engage in activities they enjoy.

February 20

Adam and I had our Valentine's Day dinner at Haps this evening.

We stopped trying to go out on February 14 a number of years ago; the last attempt at doing so featured us seated at a too-small table, surrounded by other couples seated at table were also too small and far too close together. Given that neither of us love small spaces or crowds, it seemed a no-brainer to pick a different date.

So that's what we started doing. And today was the day. And I am grateful to God for the time with my hunny spent enjoying excellent food and conversation (even if I was too stuffed to have a chocolate creme brulee).

February 19

Brady has a few videos of himself pitching that one of his teammates took during practice today. He reviewed them this evening (with the occasional glance upward at the "Simpsons" episode we were watching) to try to isolate the issue he feels like he's had with his delivery of late.

After the TV was off and Isaac and Adam had gone to bed, he moved onto the floor near where I was seated so he could show me the videos too. So I watched them. And honestly, other than noting that his leg kick was a little low and his arm angle a little off to the side, I didn't see much.

But he kept looking. And reviewing. I gave him his pitching coach's number so he could ask him for his thoughts. And then he said good-night and went upstairs. And I know he kept right on thinking, because about five minutes later, he came back downstairs and announced that the thinks the problem is that he's not drawing enough power from his back leg.

I understood what he meant and he may well be right. But I was more impressed by his tenacity. He's not someone who will just give up when things get challenging, and I know God blessed him with that determination. So for that gift in my son --my baby-- I am thankful.

February 18

Adam made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner this evening after he got home from work.

It's not unusual for him to cook, but it was especially appreciated today as I've not been feeling the best. 

As I munched on that crunchy garlic bread, I reflected on what a blessing it is to have a partner who is an actual partner; who shares responsibility and helps to keep our household afloat in practical ways. I know that not everyone enjoys that kind of luxury.

So for the blessing that my hunny is to me, I am grateful.

February 17

It was cold and rainy today. And by "rainy" I mean downpour-y. (As I sit here writing, in fact, the rain is pelting the roof with impressive and vaguely frightening ferocity.) While I was trying to avoid going outside, Brady was at school finding out that he will indeed play for the freshman baseball team this year with uniform number 15. So some good news there (and a heads' up to those of you who supported the baseball program when Isaac played: I'm sure we'll be in touch soon!). 

With all of that said, after Adam and I returned from dinner at Mexico Lindo (sorry Abby), I was very happy to switch on my electric blanket and wrap myself in its warmth. Although our current 41-degree temp may seem warm to lots of you (and part of me -- the young part of me who grew up back east and actually had to deal with snow and ice during the winter months -- acknowledges that it's not actually that cold), it's chilly to me now. 

So today, I'm thankful to God for good news that made Brady launch into his cute, rapid-talking  excited-mode, and for warm blankets on cold days. 

February 16

Since it's President's Day and I didn't need to be anywhere in particular today, I didn't set my alarm clock last night. So I slept in this morning. (And I mean really slept in.)

When I first emerged from my room, I found Brady in the kitchen trying to figure out what he wanted to eat. After mulling his choices, he asked if he could use some of the greens from the hydroponic garden (because that's what the stand I mentioned yesterday is actually called) in a smoothie.

So that's what he did: he took some parsley, spinach, and crunchy leaf lettuce and combined it with strawberries, milk, yogurt, and ice to create his smoothie. And then he gave me some, too.

I love watching him (and his siblings) as they gradually become more responsible and independent. (And I love it when they share the fruits of their labor and creativity with me, too.) It's all a blessing.

February 15

Adam got me this indoor farm stand contraption for my birthday last month. It's kind of complicated, but the watered down explanation is that you put seedlings that were started in peat pellets into spaces on this big self-watering stand that includes built-in LED lights. And then you wait for your produce to grow.

Mine is currently growing several different varieties of lettuce, spinach, and a few other greens, and I occasionally stop by the stand to pluck a leaf to munch on between meals. And they are all just so fresh and good.

Anyway, tonight as he was making dinner, Adam asked me to harvest some lettuce from the stand, so I did. 

And it was, not surprisingly, really tasty stuff; the kind of tasty that makes me close my eyes and think "mmmm, goodness from dirt". (Lest that sounds weird --and I'm sure it does-- I've always had an affinity for foods that I think of as earthy.) So tonight, I'm grateful for fresh food and for the setup that allows me to easily grow my own.

February 14

Ah, Valentine's Day. Our day of love began with Isaac heading off to camp, but not as a camper or a work crew volunteer this time. One of the leaders for the Young Life middle school Presidents' weekend camp got sick, so they asked Isaac to step in as a leader. He's in charge of a cabin of eighth grade boys and I'm praying that he has a great time (and is filled with a huge dose of patience for his charges).

Then several additional hours were spent at the high school watching the freshmen boys finish up tryouts with an intersquad scrimmage. Brady was the first pitcher up and, to be blunt, he struggled. Badly. He's been sick all week and felt particularly awful this morning, but he knew it was important to show so he suited up and hit the diamond. I could tell from the first warm-up pitch that his velocity was way (way) down, and the boys took advantage. Fortunately, he played good defense and had a nice hit too, so hopefully his success earlier in the week will make up for today's gaffe on the mound. (And hopefully the black eye he gave himself getting into the car after --yep, getting into the car ("why is the door frame curved like that?!")-- will heal up soon, too.

Nonetheless, it was good to be outside. It was good to watch my baby play his first game on the Varsity field. It was good to have brief conversations with some friends. And although our Valentine's Day didn't offer much traditional drippy-candled Valentine'ing (aside from the chocolates and peanut butter pretzels and large Conversation hearts I got for the boys and Adam and the candy and flowers Adam got for me), it was still full of love in more practical forms. So for that, I am grateful.

February 13

Nikki and I took one of our mall walks this morning. I was a little early so while I waited for her, I plunked down in front of Mini Cat Town to stare at the kitties (like I do).

The little grey tabby on the right immediately strolled right up to the window and parked herself in front of me. And although I tried (hard), she wasn't interested in making eye contact. A few minutes later, the one on the left came over to say hi; she walked right up to the window and looked right at me. 

And I talked to them through the glass until Nikki arrived.

I'm too allergic to cats to own one, but it's always a blessing when I can interact with them (safely, through glass). 

February 12

The remembrance of Logan continued this evening with more chocolate cake after dinner. And it was so, so delicious, so it's safe to say that I am grateful that God inspired someone to create chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

But what I feel prompted to write about tonight is something that happened yesterday at the Red Cross. I was sitting in the cantina area sipping a bottle of water and playing on my phone while I waited for Adam to finish his donation process when a familiar song that I don't hear often these days began playing on the radio.

And I chuckled, because it was "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" by Whitney Houston. Most probably don't know this, but the songstress died on February 11, 2012 -- the same day as Logan. When I first heard that she'd passed, I thought that it was rather ironic that someone who sang so fervently about dancing died on the same day as my kiddo who loved little more than shaking his booty to the music. 

In that moment in the donation center, as I listened to those lyrics, I could see him smiling and laughing and dancing on the big screen in my mind. So for that timely gift from God, I am grateful.

February 11

Fourteen years. When I type it out, it seems... unfathomable. But regardless of my ability to believe it, today marks the 14th anniversary of sweet Logan's passage from my arms to those of our Savior. And even after all the years that have passed since I last saw him take a breath on this side of Heaven, I'm still not sure how to react to what happened. But I do the best I can.

And this year's version of "the best" began with my usual stop at Starbucks. I nestled into a chair and sipped my coffee and nibbled on a slice of chocolate pistachio loaf, which I tried for the first time because of its tangential relation to chocolate cake; as I reasoned on Facebook, I like to think that Logan's taste would've matured to appreciate more flavors by the time he was 19 years old. While there, I had a brief conversation with Jim, one of the quartet of eightysomething gentlemen who hold court at a big table each morning; I quietly shared that it was the anniversary of my son's death, and after a pause, he remarked, with great sadness in his eyes, that he couldn't imagine anything more painful than losing a child. 

Then it was back home, where I continued with my Bible reading and then joined Adam to watch some Olympic coverage. We watched athletes live out their dreams in skiing. And on a day like today, that feels like a worthy activity.

Next up we went to Costco for lunch as we sometimes do on this day. Logan had an affinity for that cheesy cheese pizza, so we took the opportunity to enjoy one of his favorite meals before traversing the aisles in search of necessities. While there we picked up a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (and spoiler alert -- we enjoyed it after dinner and it was delicious. He would approve). Then a little later we donated blood, as we do every year. And then dinner --before the cake and after Isaac brought Brady home from baseball tryouts-- was spaghetti and meatballs, another Logan-favorite.

So that was my day. As I noted at the outset of this entry, I'm still not sure what to make of the reality that he's not here; of the hard truth that God didn't answer my fervent prayers in the way that I so hoped that He would. And I've come to realize that I probably won't understand on this side of Heaven because I can't know the mind of God. But despite my uncertainty about the circumstances that came to pass, I am certain about a few things: for one, Logan is in Heaven. Two, God is still unassailably good, even though Logan is in Heaven and not physically present in my life. And three, we will see that sweet boy again some day. And for the knowledge of those important truths, I am as grateful as I could possibly be.

February 10

Brady hasn't been feeling well for about a week now. Since his primary complaint is a sore throat, I decided to take him to urgent care this afternoon in order to rule out strep.

He was --as I hope he'd be at 15 years of age-- agreeable about the whole thing; he put up with both the nasal (for COVID and the flu) and throat swabs and waited for the results without complaint.

In the end, all of the tests came back negative, so I gave him some Delsym Cough and Sore Throat this evening and told him to get some good sleep. Hopefully, prayerfully, he'll feel better very soon.

The experience reminded me that easygoing kids who roll with the proverbial punches are a blessing. So I am thankful for mine.

February 9

The boys didn't have school today --in remembrance of Lincoln's birthday-- but the baseball calendar marches forward regardless of holidays so Brady had day one of freshman team tryouts this afternoon.

When I picked him up afterward, I asked how it went and then held my breath (because after years of being a sports mom, it's what I've trained myself to do). I released said-breath in relief when he replied with an enthusiastic "actually, it was good!" as he slipped into the backseat with his gear.

In short, he pitched well and hit well, so he was satisfied. And given that he wasn't feeling the best when I dropped him off, that realization was a blessing to my mama-heart. I know what he can do so I was relieved that his under-the-weather'ness  didn't significantly impact his performance.

(And yes, the photo has nothing to do with tryouts or Brady because I didn't think to take one as I picked him up. This is actually a photo of my current work-in-progress. It's backwards so it's impossible to make out the pattern, but it's a fun one. And I'm enjoying it. So that's a blessing, too.)

February 8

Abby and Adam typically video chat on Sunday afternoons.

During today's call, Brady and I both leaned over Adam's shoulders to say hello. I laughed to myself when I saw the three of us clustered together in the upper lefthand corner of the screen, just because I thought we all looked very cute.

So much to the kiddos' collective chagrin, I snapped a photo. (And then I snapped this one, because Abby didn't want me to post a non-approved photo of her.)

Anyway, the sight made me feel a heightened sense of gratitude for our family and for the technological advancements that make keeping in touch via video calls possible. Because phone calls and text messages and emails just aren't the same as connecting face to face.

February 7

Adam was napping and I was taking in some Olympic coverage on TV this afternoon when Isaac appeared with a football in hand and went outside. Brady followed him into the backyard a few minutes later.

I finished the crochet row I was working on (since of course I was multitasking) and looked outside to see what they were up to. Rather than seeing the simple game of catch that I'd expected, I watched as they took turns hiking the ball and running around the pool to catch the pass.

They were getting exercise and having fun together. 

I love their relationship. And I'm grateful to be able to watch it continue to grow.

February 6

The sun was out and the temp was a comfortable sixtysomething late this morning, so I took the opportunity to take a solo stroll around the neighborhood.

Since we've enjoyed several sixtysomething days of late, signs of Spring abounded, including these cherry blossoms that adorned a random tree.

I do love the look of Springtime: how the bees go about their important business and how the plants sprout new leaves and flowers like these. (And pollen. That's the part I don't like so much.)

How the whole world seems to revel in the splendor of new --and refreshed-- life. So for all of that beauty and promise, I am grateful to God.

February 5

I was awakened this morning by the sound of the garage door opening as the boys headed off to their Thursday pre-school Bible study. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and craned my neck to look out the window. And when I did, I saw a whole lotta nothing, because it was foggy. And I mean fog-e -- it took my brain a few seconds to compute but I eventually concluded that the notorious Tule Fog must've made its way in from the Central Valley.

As I headed out to get my coffee a short time later, I marveled at how the fog nestled into every nook and cranny, obscuring even the most obvious and familiar details from view. I continued along the usual path --albeit more slowly and cautiously-- but still felt a twinge of fear because I couldn't see what was ahead.

I think life can be like that sometimes, particularly when when we find ourselves in situations where the outcome is up in the air and we can't see what's coming next. And that can be scary, because The Unknown is often filled with more questions than we can answer. And if you're like me, you like answers.

But the good news is that the path we're to follow is still there, even if we can't see it, because God laid out the pavement before us. It's our job to keep going --varying the pace when need be-- and trusting that the fog will eventually lift because He said it would.

February 4

I was driving behind a truck with a trailer on my way to Target this morning. Said vehicle was poking along well below the posted speed limit, so after uttering a few frustrated words under my breath, I began plotting to pass it when traffic cleared. 

Then I noticed the text scrawled across the back of the trailer and I drew in a sharp breath, because the letters strung together read 'Logan'. And suddenly, I felt perfectly content right where I was, slow pace and all. In a weird way, it was like being 'with' him once again.

With Logan's anniversary just a week away, he's been on my mind even more than usual. And seeing his name there in an unexpected place felt like an unexpected gift.

February 3

When Adam asked what I wanted to do for date night, I thought about it for a few hours and eventually decided on something unusual: In N Out.

I don't know why, but I developed a hankering for those well-done fries and that saucy cheeseburger. And honestly, I didn't really feel like going out, so eating in seemed like a great plan.

And although Adam's been working on his laptop since he finished his food, it's still been a blessing to sit here near him watching "Lakefront Bargain Hunt" and crocheting. Because any time spent with my hunny is a blessing.

February 2

I bought three cakes of a beautiful purple variegated yarn on clearance a month or so ago. I'm not generally one who does much with multicolored yarns but as soon as I saw these, I thought "pullover sweater." So they came home with me and sat on my dresser until I finished the mint green baby blanket a few days ago, which gave me the go-ahead to start something new.

(This strange puke-like shade is a terrible representation of the actual color. It's much prettier than this. Promise.)

Anyway, I finished with the front and back panels over the weekend. Today, I seamed the shoulders, completed one sleeve, and began the second. 

This kind of project is very fulfilling for me. It's rewarding to feel like I'm creating something useful, and as I've said before, I am thankful to God for the gift of being able to crochet. The act of exercising creativity is like unlocking a new level of life enjoyment for me.

February 1

After the church service this morning, Adam, Isaac, and Brady suddenly noticed they were all wearing plaid with shades of brown and gray.

I sensed an unexpected moment of male bonding taking place, so naturally I whipped out my phone and had them pose for a photo. My guys. (Well, three of them. Logan is there too, in his way, but it's always weird for me to reference the men in our family without giving him a nod, too.)

They're all Wight men so they share lots of common traits, but they're also as different as the patterns of their respective shirts suggest. Fortunately for me, all of those differing traits and tendencies (usually) work together to create a beautiful harmony

. They're all wonderful people, and I am very (very) blessed and humbled to be able to call myself their wife and mother. 

January 31

It was nice (albeit hazy) out today, so Adam and I embraced the opportunity to take an afternoon walk.

As always, it was a blessing to be out and about getting some exercise with my main squeeze. He agreed with me that with Isaac's three-for-three college acceptances and Abby passing her CSETs (which was yesterday's big news) and all three getting straight A's last semester, it's been a good season for our kiddos.

So today, I'm thankful for time with my hunny that gave us the chance to reflect on and discuss some of our many blessings. It is, after all, very easy to forget to be grateful to God when things are going well. And I never want to fall into that trap, because without His grace, I would have nothing at all.

January 30

When the boys got home from school today, Isaac popped into my room --where I was busily working on a baby blanket-- and announced that he was happy. I asked why, and he shared that one of his good friends had approached him this morning and asked Isaac what he would think if he (the friend) converted to Christianity.

Isaac does a good job of living out his faith, especially given that he's still just 17. He goes to Young Life events and invites his friends --regardless of whether or not they identify as Christian-- to come along. And a number of them do. If they need a ride, he picks them up and takes them home. He volunteers with on AWANA night at church and with the kids on Sundays. He knows that knowing Jesus --and having a relationship with Him-- is important, and he acts on his faith.

The revelation about his friend's comment --and Isaac's genuinely joyful reaction to it-- did my heart so much good. He asked me to pray for his pal so I did and will continue to do so, but for now, I am thankful for my kiddo's sweet heart and for his willingness to share. I may be a 48-year old woman, but I could still learn a lot from him in this particular area.

January 29

I'm really enjoying my crochet projects these days. 

I'm currently alternating between two of them --a baby blanket (shown here) and a shawl-- and since they're two different patterns and two different yarns, they're holding my interest well. I may even finish both, and in relatively quick fashion, too.

I am thankful for how crocheting helps me to relax and focus, both on the work itself and on God. It sounds a little hokey as I write it, but "pray" and "crochet" go together like peanut butter and jelly. And it's definitely good for me to pray more.

January 28

After dinner tonight, Brady disappeared into the kitchen and I heard the fridge open. A moment later, I heard a thunk followed by an explanation from the previously-mentioned snack seeker: a cup of yogurt fell out. So he proceeded to put the non-spilled yogurt in a bowl along with a different kind of yogurt.

He came back to the family room, sat down, and then sprang back up again a moment later and exclaimed "I thought I saw some bacon in there." The fridge opened yet again, and he returned a minute later with his yogurt and bacon combo.

And he ate the whole bowl.

I could just be grossed out (and I still am, at least a little bit), but I'm more amused by his creativity. And I'm also oddly pleased that he was willing to consume such a strange dish, because he's always had a rather picky palate. So today, I'm thankful that he's willing to try new things, because being adaptable is a blessing.

January 27

This is --literally-- the decaf mocha that I enjoyed after dinner this evening. I sipped it slowly, taking more than a few moments to appreciate how the sprinkle of cinnamon that topped its foamy cap mingled with the sweetness of chocolate and coffee.

And as I drank my sweet concoction, I reflected on the truth that our family is in the midst of a sweet season: School is going well for the kiddos, work isn't noxious for Adam, and I'm happily crocheting again. There are big changes ahead, particularly for our two to-be graduates, but each of them have great options available to pursue. And both of them have been gifted with so much potential.

So today, I'm grateful to God for those mocha-sweet seasons of life when, despite the troubles of this world, the power of hope in Christ stands extra tall.

January 26

I'd just finished Bible Study this morning when Isaac sent a one-line message to the group chat that made my heart leap in my chest.

His second college acceptance; just one more to go before all of his results are in and he'll have to make a big decision about his next adventure.

No one --except maybe Isaac-- was surprised that he was accepted to Wheaton because he's just the kind of person they look for as a student: curious, kind, community-minded, and dedicated to living a life of faith in Jesus.

Although he's nervous about choosing a school, I'm thankful to God that he has options because he deserves to feel like he's worthy. 

January 25

I was fully expecting Brady to be salty after today's 2-1 loss. He did, after all, strike out in both of his at-bats and I'm not sure he ever touched the ball on defense. There was much for him to be bummed over.

But he wasn't upset at all. In fact, one of the first things he said after we'd enclosed ourselves in the comfort and safety of the car was "Christian and Ben think I should play tight end next year." It took me a hot second to figure out that he was talking about football. 

And then, a few minutes later, as we hurtled back up the freeway toward home, he asked a question: "Was that pitch I struck out on during my first at bat really a strike?" (The answer? No, but the umpire was calling low and outside a strike all day long. On our team, at least.)

No complaining. No frustration. No dwelling or ruminating. Just "I didn't think it was. Oh well."

He's a perfectionist and doesn't like it when things aren't just-so, so I'm proud of him for handling what I figure was some pretty significant irritation with such maturity and grace. He's growing up. And I'm grateful to God that I get to watch that process happen. 

And as these guys head off to play for their separate high school teams, I'm also grateful to God for this TVBR cohort that we've been part of for the past three years. Getting to know these families and watching all of the boys grow has been a unique blessing.

January 24

Brady's TVBR team hit the diamond for the first time in two and a half months this afternoon to take part in a tune-up tournament (of sorts. It's an actual tournament, but it's really more of a chance to get some playing time in before the high school season begins next month. And yes, it's very jarring to type "Brady" and "high school season" in the same sentence).

An 0-fer day at the plate left Brady emoting salty vibes as we headed back out to the car afterward, but he really had nothing to feel badly about. He was the starting pitcher for game one and tossed two scoreless innings. He also played innings in all three outfield positions and at first base and had a few solid defensive plays.

They wound up with a seven-inning 0-0 tie in the first game, and a 6-3 win in the second, which makes them the three-seed (out of nine teams) entering tomorrow. 

It was fun being out there again. It was a beautiful, sunny 60-degree day and it felt comfortable being at the ballpark (well, except when Brady was pitching because that always makes my heart race). Baseball has been a part of our family's life for a long time now, and it's always been a place where I've found friends and laughter and commiseration. And joy; definitely lots of that. And some tears, too, and that's okay, because tears are a valuable part of this life that God can use to teach many unique lessons.

It was nice to have a little break over Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I'm grateful to be starting a new baseball season soon, and I'm hopeful that Brady will enjoy the experiences that are to come.

January 23

I was taking a quick walk up the street to squeeze in some extra steps this afternoon when the boys arrived home from school.

I took a picture of them (Brady's in the passenger seat though it's hard to see him) as they passed by. In response, Isaac rolled down the window to wave and shout out "love you, mama!" as they continued on toward the house.

It still feels strange that they're on their own with respect to getting to and from school (and Youth Group and for Isaac, work) but I'm adjusting. And I'm thankful that they're continuing to mature into responsible young people.

January 22

I was hanging out at the Mother Ship this morning (as usual), sitting in my customary spot with my crochet bag at my feet, when Dana came in and sat down next to me. And then a few minutes later, Lisa entered and sat down. The two had enjoyed a morning walk and then arranged to meet up at a Starbucks after. I've known both of them for a number of years now and always enjoy having the opportunity to catch up.

So although I'd initially planned to put a few more rows in a baby blanket I was making and then run to the store, I wound up sitting with them until noon talking (and taking in at least one extremely Not Funny At The Time But Extremely Funny Now story that made me laugh so hard that my chest ached).

The unexpected conversation was good for my heart, so today I'm grateful to God for "random" encounters with friends that add bright color to my day.