May 21

I had a nice morning with Abby. We went to the Mother Ship and then on to the mall to walk around. On the way back to the house, we took a (second) drink stop at Wendy's before visiting Safeway for some cereal and yogurt.

After lunch, we tuned in to a terrible movie on Lifetime. And then she went outside and spent some time floating on a lounge chair in the pool. 

It was hot outside (think low 90s) so it was a great day to be in (or in her case, on) the water. And as I watched her (and later in the day, the boys) bob along the surface, I felt a great sense of gratitude for the pool. I'm not a swimmer, but I know the kiddos enjoy it. So I am grateful for that blessing.

May 20

I rolled into the driveway this evening as the sun approached the distant horizon.

So I parked the car, got out, and took a long look at the dazzling orange light as it gradually dropped in the sky and eventually disappeared, leaving behind more muted, quieter shades of amber and bluish gray.

Abby asked about my impressions of Heaven this afternoon as we motored from one destination to the next, and I didn't have much of a reply. She correctly noted that many of my musings on the topic revolve around seeing Logan again, and she's right. I do think of hugging Logan and of being reunited with my grandma and grandpa and other loved ones who have gone before me. 

But, she wondered aloud, do I ever just think about being with God? And Jesus? And just existing in a perpetual state of gratitude amid their overwhelming glory? And honestly, the question irked me because I had to say not really. My thoughts do indeed mostly center on people I've known in this life, whose presence I miss, and I sort of resented being called out for my short-sightedness. But she's right that I should look forward to being with my Savior. 

So this evening, when I saw the radiance of the sunset, it reminded me of the radiance of God. And it reminded me to be mindful and grateful for his all encompassing mercy and love. And I felt a sense of gratitude for my girl, whose irritating question spurred significant and definitively worthwhile reflection.

May 19

I had a lovely time coffeeing with these two lovelies this morning.

It was just the usual Mother Ship run, but it's always good to stop, acknowledge, and appreciate the everyday blessings that fill my life with dimension and color.

So today I'm grateful for Abby and Terry, and for how they both add richness and fun to my days.

And I'm also grateful that Abby brought that giant jug of water inside after I dared her to. I didn't expect her to do it, and watching her take sips from such a massive container made me chuckle more than once.

May 18

Abby's checking items off the adulting to-do list. First, she applied to credentialing programs and enrolled at St. Mary's. Then she graduated from college. Yesterday she bought a Costco membership online. And then today, we went by the warehouse so she could get her membership card.

And then after that, when we decided we did need a cart after all, she went outside to get one and re-entered using her brand new card. This is from the moment of her first-ever Costco Entry Beep.

And that was after she went to my Bible study with me and provided valuable insights, courtesy of a class she took this past semester, that greatly informed and enhanced our conversation.

All very adult-y things. And I am grateful for her increasing maturity.

May 17

Today marked opening day of our family's last Babe Ruth Big Season.

As a 15, Brady was given the role of starting pitcher for the Royals, and later moved out to right field. 

He didn't have a great day on the mound. We were playing a very talented team that includes a number of guys he knows quite well from playing with them since they were 13s, and they hit him pretty hard. On the bright side, he did make it through four innings. And he also made two solid defensive plays in right field on a day when heavy winds made the ball dart around in the sky. So those were good things.

But even better, he didn't seem discouraged or overly frustrated after the game. When I asked him to reflect on what happened, he said that the ball felt slick and he just couldn't get a grip on the seams, so it was hard to throw anything off-speed. And his off-speed pitches are his best. So tonight, I'm grateful for his positive attitude amid challenges. 

May 16

It was a lovely, lovely Saturday.

It started with Brady's last freshman game of the season, which wasn't an actual game but an gold versus white intersquad. Everyone got to play, and most of the boys played positions they don't typically take on. Brady had time catching (as in the pic), at third base, and in centerfield, and he successfully made plays at all three positions. He even threw out a runner who was trying to steal third. It was just a fun, laid back game, and I'm thankful that what was often a stressful season came to a close in such an enjoyable way.

From there, we lunched at Mexico Lindo, and then came home and, at Isaac's request, played a round of Yahtzee, which Adam won by a wide margin. (I was the big loser. I just could not roll a full house!)

So yes, it was a low-key family day. And I am grateful to God to have my nestable chicks in the nest once again.

May 15

After spending most of the week at her friend's lakeside bachelorette gathering, our recent college grad returned home today for good.

It's completely insane to realize that it's already been four years since we first dropped Abby off at Wheaton. (And it's even more insane to realize that we'll be dropping Isaac off at Wheaton in just a few months so he can begin his college adventure. Say what?)

Anyway, Isaac was off volunteering at AWANA when she arrived, but Brady was here. And after a few of the requisite "large forehead" remarks changed hands, she literally chased him around the house trying to get a hug. (I'm not sure if he relented or not.)

But then when Isaac did get home, he immediately said hello and gave her a big hug. 

It felt like vintage Wight House action all-around, and I am feeling tremendously blessed to have the gang back together.

May 14

When the boys got home from school this afternoon, they hollered upstairs to let me know that there were two enormous boxes --stuff Abby sent home from school-- by the garage door and asked if I wanted them hauled upstairs.

Since Adam was in Phoenix and my box-lugging skills aren't in what I'd call peak form these days, I took them up on the offer. 

The first of the two packages was large but flat, so they made quick work of it and deposited it on the foyer floor.

The second, however, was much larger. In fact, the listed weight on the label was 78 pounds and given the dimensions of the box, they were unsure that they'd be able to make it up the steps. But they did indeed make it, and now both boxes await Abby's return tomorrow.

That experience of watching them doubt their ability and then get the job done anyway was striking to me. Often, we face obstacles and challenges that seem daunting at first. They're so daunting, in fact, that we sometimes give in to the fear of failure and give up without even trying. But in making that decision, we're cheating ourselves out of moments to learn, since we do indeed learn and grow from both our successes and our failures.

So from a purely practical perspective, I'm grateful for my boys who found that something they perceived as a "challenge" wasn't really much of a challenge at all and by doing so, helped me out. And I'm grateful to God for their desire and willingness to serve.

May 13

Today my mom celebrated her 80th birthday.

I'm not in Maryland, of course, but I called her this afternoon to wish her a happy birthday and to find out how she planned to celebrate the milestone. Her response was fairly simple: "take the day off."

And honestly, although I would've been glad to hear that she was going to a dinner theater show --which is one of her favorite activities-- or out for lunch, I was just as content with the notion that she was having a kick-back day, because for as long as I can remember, she's been a go-getter. I'm glad that she's learned the value of rest and is leaning into it a bit more.

She's taught me many things over the years. She planted the early seeds of my faith and, through her unwavering dedication to her students, she modeled the importance of hard work and commitment to responsibilities. She's intelligent and caring and incredibly stubborn --traits that she passed on to her children-- and adores her people. I am very grateful for all of the ways she's supported me and my family over time.

Happy birthday, Mom! We love you!

May 12

I was in the driveway cleaning out my car this morning when the breeze changed direction and the most delightful scent wafted past my nose.

I should've immediately recognized the aroma, but didn't put two and two together until I walked around the side of the house to toss some trash into the dumpster. It was then that I saw the spray of these lovelies clinging to the fence and remembered.

Jasmine. There's nothing quite as fragrant as some springtime jasmine. (Although our roses are a close second.) I love how God made things for all of our senses to enjoy, and I definitely enjoy the smell of jasmine.

May 11

With graduation weekend in the books and Abby off to Ashley's Bachelorette getaway, Adam, Brady, and I flew back home today. The flights were (thankfully) on time and save some screeching from a toddler in the row behind us, ours travels were uneventful. So I'm grateful for that.

And I'm also thankful for how these two guys of mine took charge of lugging virtually all of our luggage --including two big suitcases and two backpacks Abby sent home with us-- through the airports and out to the car when we arrived in Oakland.

It's nice to feel taken care of, so I'm grateful for their can-do attitude.

May 10

It was a beautiful day to graduate from college. (And a beautiful day for Mother's Day as well, but I definitely wanted my holiday to take a back seat to Abby's accomplishment.)

We (okay, so "we" is mostly "I") took hundreds of photos of everything I could think of to document the day, from my cupcake-cake Mother's Day morning dessert and sweet homemade cards featuring the kids' handprints to the plates of delectable food we practically inhaled during brunch in the school dining hall. And that was all before graduation even happened. 

The ceremony began at three, and just as advertised, Abby was the last grad on her side of the aisle to walk down to the front of the chapel (which meant she led the students out afterward, too. She was pretty jazzed about that). The program was a beautiful mix of worship and acknowledgement of the graduates' accomplishments, and I thoroughly enjoyed both the commencement address given by the CEO of the Museum of the Bible in DC and hearing the names of the students as they walked across the stage. 

Afterward there were hugs and photos with friends, including Laura and her mom Ginger (upper right), who we first met way back at the beginning of freshman year. We have a collection of photos with them from the past four years, so naturally we needed a new one. Isaac had to Uber off to the airport since he has an AP test first thing tomorrow morning, but the rest of us enjoyed dinner at Burger Social. I drew the line at dessert, but my peeps balled out (as Abby says) with milkshakes. Brady had a particularly delicious-slash-heinous creation based on a churro that I half-expected to lead to a high-stakes sugar rush, but he seems okay. In fact, I think he's already asleep.

Adam, Brady, and I head back home tomorrow morning (with several of Abby's bags in tow). The graduate is going to her good friend Ashley's Bachelorette celebration on a lake in Indiana for the next few days, so we'll see her back in the Bay when she formally moves home later this week. 

I don't really know how to fully sum up the day much less the last four years, other than to say that Wheaton is a special place. I feel so blessed that my girl found a home here where she could thrive and feel safe and be loved. I'm endlessly proud of how hard she works and of all of her academic accomplishments (because --mom brag-- they don't recognize Latin honors here with any regalia, but she did graduate Summa Cum Laude). But I'm more proud of who she is and of how she's grown during her time in college. She's a thoughtful, caring, kind, intelligent young woman and on this very special day, I feel extra-specially blessed to be her mom. 

Congratulations, Abby!

May 9

My girl graduates from college tomorrow. I think I can probably say that over and over again and it still won't feel real, because I can absolutely remember the day I graduated from college 26 years ago. In some ways, it feels like yesterday. In others, another lifetime.

Adam's day started bright and early as he went off to Midway to fetch Isaac from his redeye flight, which landed at 5:20. We have two adjoining hotel rooms this go-round so Brady and I remained blissfully unaware of their comings and goings from our side of the wall. (And fortunately for me, my ears did pop --at least enough to enable me to discern when music is way too loud--  by the time I arose.)

We all attained at least a minimally functional level of consciousness at around 10:30, and then made our way over to campus to pick up Abby for lunch. She knows of our collective love for cheese curds and pretzel bites so she suggested Culver's, so off we went. I could feel my heart rise as I watched Abby, Isaac, and Brady sitting together once again, engaging in their usual witty repartee that never fails to make me laugh out loud. 

From there, we went to Target for some immunity gummies and decongestant, since Adam awoke feeling stuffy. I'm looking forward to seeing the Mother's Day cards the kids stopped to make at the little stand just inside the front door! I do love a homemade note.

Then Abby suggested visiting a local flower garden called Lilacia Park. It was super busy because it was apparently Kids' Day, but it was still nice to see the remnants of what was probably a beautiful Springtime spread of tulips and other lovelies.

The English Department had a meet and greet for graduating Seniors and their families set for 3pm, so we went back to campus. Abby bought one last item from Sam's --a pretty blueberry muffin-- and then we spent about 30 minutes mingling with a handful of her professors (and a few of her friends). 

An early dinner at Cane's followed (since Adam nor Brady had ever been and Isaac had given them a very enthusiastic review after his experience last Fall) before we dropped Abby back off at her dorm and returned to the hotel. By then it was probably 7pm, and we were all in low-power mode; Isaac and Adam went to sleep in the other room while I played a game on my phone. I knew Brady really (really) wanted to go to the (indoor) hotel pool, so at 8:30 I said I'd take him down. As I sat watching him bobbing up and down and talking a mile a minute about this and that, it occurred to me that he really likes the water. And also that he's a big sharer. (And I'm thankful for the last part, since I usually know what's going on in his head!) 

And now, well, now it's bedtime. It's crazy to think that by this time tomorrow, Abby will be a college graduate. As she noted in the car this evening, she will have attained the same level of education as her parents. 

And beyond that, she will have written the last sentence of the "college" chapter in her life story. I think her experience at Wheaton has been just what I prayed that it would be four years ago when she began: I remember praying that she'd mature and be more open to adventure, and she is. I prayed that she'd make great, genuine friends, and she did. I know she will miss them and that her heart aches when she thinks about it, but I also know that they're the kind of friends who will always be there for one another, regardless of the miles that separate them physically. I prayed that she would learn a lot, and she has. And I prayed that her faith would be strengthened, and it has.

So for the ways that God has shown Himself to be faithful during my girl's college career, I am grateful. And I'm excited to read the first line in the next chapter of her book.

May 8

It's one of the realities of life these days that air travel, well, sucks. It's unreliable and unpredictable, but on the bright side, you do generally get where you're going. Eventually. And now that I'm on the other side of today's iteration of eventually, I can write.

Abby graduates from Wheaton on Sunday. I have no idea how we're already here, but here we are nonetheless! (And I'm far too tired and stuffy to wax poetic but hopefully later.)  Adam, Brady, and I left the house at 7 this morning intending to board a 9:30 flight to Salt Lake, and then continue on to Chicago. (Isaac had an AP test at noon so he's on a later flight. Thank you to Terry for giving him a ride to the airport! You're a lifesaver.) 

Well, the 9:30 thing didn't happen (although we did get to sit on a plane at the gate for an hour before they decided it wasn't happening). We were rebooked onto a flight through San Diego which left two hours later, but because the southernmost section of Southern California is in the exact opposite direction as our eventual target, it meant hours were added to our total travel time. (You can mentally insert the Whomp Whomp sound here.)

But we did have mostly peaceful flights. I did get to watch "Celebrity Jeopardy" and several episodes of "The Simpsons" with Brady on his phone and I did give him a packet of sugar which he actually ate. And we did get here. We did get our rental car quickly and the one bag we checked was the sixth one to emerge from the shoot on the baggage carousel. And we did get to our hotel. And though we didn't get Culvers (boo) because it was already closed by the time we rolled into town, we did settle for McDonalds. And that was okay.

And now... now I'm tired. My ears also haven't popped at all (which is a consistent thing for me, unfortunately... who says it only happens to little kids?) so I can't hear squat. (Of course, that meant Adam and Brady could blast Morgan Wallen in the car and I literally had no clue until one of them remarked on how it was three times as loud as I'd ever allow.) And I'm still stuffy. 

But I'm grateful to be in town to watch my girl graduate from college. All the travel troubles aside, that is a big blessing.

May 7

Isaac had an AP test this afternoon and Brady did not have practice, but that information wasn't triangulated particularly well between the three of us. So the end result was Brady standing out by the kid-car for 15 minutes after school before he finally messaged me to ask who was planning to ferry him home.

I scurried over to the meeting spot and picked him up. After I apologized for the goof, we ran an errand to CVS and then went over to the Mother Ship to get him an "oops, my bad" treat of his choice. (And of course I had a coconut cream cold brew, too, since I was already there and all.)

To his credit, he took the whole thing in stride, going so far as to assume some of the responsibility for the lack of communication. (And he graciously accepted a chocolate chip cookie.)

He may not be graduating from anything this month like his siblings are, but he's still growing up like a boss. And I am grateful to be part of his journey.

May 6

I had to venture into the boys' bathroom this afternoon to deliver some face soap, and I was shocked by what I found inside.

Although I was mentally prepared to see the domestic equivalent of a toxic waste dump, the countertop and sinks were actually organized and clean.

I rubbed my eyes and blinked hard a few times to be sure I was actually seeing what my brain said it saw, and yep, still clean.

I'm so proud of Isaac and Brady for finally cleaning up their shared space because it shows that they're continuing to grow and mature and take responsibility for themselves. So I am grateful to God for that reality.

May 5

Adam was in Oregon on business for a few days. I picked him up from BART this evening while the boys were at Youth Group and we were able to head out to our customary Tuesday night dinner, this time at Black Bear.

It was nice and quiet inside --which was particularly pleasant to me, since I felt like I had a headache coming on at the time-- and I felt a sense of contentment as I sat there in a booth eating my omelet and catching up on the past few days' activities.

I adore my kiddos, but I also enjoy this time we've set aside each week to be alone together. After all, Scripture tells us that feeding a marriage with love and energy is essential.

May 4

I went to Walmart this morning in search of a second pair of swimming trunks for Brady. As I entered the store, a man stood near the entrance holding a clipboard. I gave him half a glance and dismissively said that I'd already signed all the petitions. He caught my fleeting gaze and smiled, and then pointed down at my shirt --which featured a Bible verse about love-- and said that that was the most important thing of all and that he'd found out about it two years ago. I smiled in return and continued into the store, but his words lingered in the back of my mind as I navigated up and down the aisles and to the self-checkout counter.

By the time I exited the store, he was seated at a small card table. I turned to wave and said God bless you, which he returned with a big smile. I continued out to the car, and that's when I heard God telling me to go talk to him some more. 

I don't mean that I literally heard the voice of God --I wish-- but I got the sense that He wanted me to have a more extended conversation with this guy. It was a feeling in my chest. I got in my car and asked for a sign (since apparently the feeling wasn't enough for me). Nothing happened. So I said "okay, God, if my car doesn't start right away when I push the button, I'll take that as a sign." The engine turned over right on cue, but I still felt like I was ignoring a prompt. Because I'm a stubborn gal, I drove halfway back up the aisle toward the exit  before I finally changed course, glided into a new space, and cut the engine. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to say or exactly why I was supposed to go talk to this man, but I knew I'd be sorry if I didn't. 

So I got out of the car, walked up to him, and said "well, the Lord told me that I needed to come talk with you some more. I'm not entirely sure why, but I try to listen when He provides instructions." And this guy's face lit up like a Christmas tree. He asked my name and introduced himself as Sherman. What followed was a brief history of his life and how he came to discover --through many difficulties and challenges-- the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I honestly don't remember much of what he said because my memory isn't my best attribute these days, but I do recall him repeatedly saying that he's been saved and that he just wants people to know that God loves them, because if He can love a sinner like him who has done bad, bad things, He can love anyone. I encouraged him to keep walking in faith no matter what the future may bring, and he thanked me for coming back to talk. 

Initially, I was arrogant enough to think that I was going to be the one ministering to him, but the reality is that I think it was the other way around, because although his story rambled, the message was clear: Jesus saves. So for his story of redemption and for the unexpected reminder that grace is truly free, I am so thankful.

May 3

A few years ago, I posted about my maiden experience with cleaning the washing machine filter. (It was quite the dramatic incident.) It's been cleaned out several times since then, but I fully admit that I detest doing it so it'd been a hot second since its last good rinse. 

Anyway, as Adam folded laundry this afternoon and noted that Brady's newly washed jacket still didn't smell particularly fresh, I mused that the filter needed to be cleaned. And I told him that when he was finished folding, we should go upstairs so I could show him how it's done.

A few minutes later I looked over and saw Isaac standing by the kitchen sink, holding something in a stream of hot water. When I asked him what he was up to, his response startled me: "cleaning the filter." While Adam and I made plans to deal with the problem, Isaac Googled instructions and got to work without saying a word. (I added the bit about blasting the filter with a hose, which is what he was doing in the pic. It was satisfyingly effective.) 

I love how he so often takes on the jobs that no one else wants; how he's willing to humble himself and tackle menial tasks just because he knows they need to be done. I see Jesus in the way he gives of his time to be with and serve others. So for his heart, I am so grateful. And humbled, because I may be his mom, but he definitely teaches me lessons, too.

May 2

The experience of being a baseball mom probably isn't a unique one, but it's definitely distinctive since baseball is a sport that's marked by more failure than success. And that's why it's vitally important to have mom friends with you in the trenches as the season wears on.

We're bleacher warriors. We cheer the successes and lament the difficulties not as single people, but as a unit. We're perpetually hopeful for the best, but also keenly aware that anything can happen during the course of a seven inning game so we're always ready to shout out the good plays while simultaneously addressing and then putting to bed the ones that don't shine.

We notice more than you think we do. In fact, we know far more than you'd guess about the sport and about which kid on the roster is the best choice to pinch hit and which has a wicked, Varsity-worthy curve. We know, and we sometimes share those nuggets with one another, but for the most part, we keep those thoughts to ourselves.

And we do that because at the end of the day, we're just there to support our boys; to celebrate wins and to offer listening ears after losses. So today, I'm grateful to God for the community that I've found this year in my fellow baseball moms, like Shelley and Brooke. Without them, watching games would be a lot less fun.

May 1

This picture --which was taken about 15 years ago-- hangs on a wall in the first floor of our house. It's in a well-traveled location, so I pass it numerous times each day, and every now and then I stop and take a close look at who we all used to be.

It's a snapshot of what feels like an entire lifetime ago, with baby Brady and grumpy Isaac and little girl Abby. And, of course, Logan wearing a tired yet resilient version of his signature grin. That's part of why I love this picture as much as I do despite its obvious "flaws" -- he's in it. The six of us are all together. There aren't a lot of photos of our entire family in existence and there will never be a new one, so I treasure the ones I do have.

So tonight, as I think back on and give thanks for what was and look forward and give thanks for whatever will be, I am grateful to God for the gift of photography. Because during this phase of my life, I definitely need pictures to help me remember the details.