April 30

February --when my mind naturally re-lives the days leading up to and following Logan's passing-- is predictably difficult. But I'm not used to having similar feelings in April, so the past few weeks have been frustrating. I'm not sure why I've been as tired and short-tempered as I've been; maybe it's because I've seen a lot of other people getting the miracles they've prayed for; the kind of miracle I begged and pleaded for and didn't get. Or maybe it's something else. I don't really know. But finding the good things has proven akin to finding the proverbial needle in the haystack. This very small thing is what I could come up with for today.

It's just the blanket that's covered my lap this evening as I've vegged in my chair, watching old TV show reruns. There's nothing mind-blowing about it; it's just a blanket that someone, somewhere made. It's warm and it provides me with a modicum of comfort as I rest (and cope with my now-flaring allergies). And for now, I guess that has to be enough.