June 22

I had an inadvertent epiphany during my Bible study meeting this morning: regardless of circumstances, I should try to live with joy. That's it.

It was a thought that came to me quietly and full out of the blue during a tense moment, so I know it came from God.

Live with joy.

So when I got home, I went outside and admired the flowers and the blue sky and the lovely, lovely scent of the bag of soil that's currently sitting out by the raised beds. And then I took a close look at the volunteer tomato plant that's growing in a large pot by the deck. 

The wonder of creation should inspire joy. Blue sky should inspire joy. A productive tomato plant that seeded itself and thrived despite having very little water early on should inspire joy.

And life in and of itself should inspire joy, because if you take a moment to consider the cosmos, it's miraculous that any of us even exist.

So for that supernatural reminder to live with joy, I am thankful, because I don't do it nearly enough.

June 21

It was something of an unconventional Father's Day, mostly because when I rolled out of bed, I quickly learned that Adam had decided that it would also be my make-up Mother's Day (since the real date took a backseat to Abby's graduation. Which, for the record, was totally fine, but I was admittedly a little sad about it).

Anyway, they all trooped onto the bedroom and brought me a donut and orange juice in a champagne glass. They also had a lovely vase of white roses and baby's breath, and they each presented me with a thoughtful gift. It was all very sweet.

And then, in my mind at least, we transitioned to Father's Day. We went to church, the peeps posed for the usual photos in the yard, and we played the game I received, which involved ranking worst case scenarios, over lunch at the kitchen table. (It's a pretty funny game.) 

Throughout the rest of the day, Adam seemed to make a point of doing something with each of us: he played a computer game with Isaac, took a walk with Abby, and watched "The Punisher" with Brady. During the evening hours, he opened his gifts and then we all gathered to eat pizza while watching "Taken 2," which was Adam's movie choice for the day. (We watched the original "Taken" a few years ago, and now he says we'll watch "Taken 3" in two years.) When it ended, Isaac ventured off to the Dairy to get him some lemon/lime ice cream, and then a rousing round of Mario Kart followed. And finally, he finished up his day by plunking down in his chair to watch an old episode of "Matlock" with me (and Isaac, who was chilling on a couch).

I hope he had a good day. I think he did. He's always been a great dad to all of our kiddos and deserves to be celebrated. He's caring and kind and funny and intelligent, and best of all, he lets them know that he loves them every day, which is a gift that not all children receive. He also has the heart of a servant, and I can see the ways in which his selflessness has influenced their behavior and decisions over time. We are all beyond blessed to have him in our lives. Happy Father's Day, hunny! I love you!

June 20

Sometimes our house is very loud. And oftentimes, the high volume is a byproduct of intense video gaming action. That was the case early this afternoon when Isaac and Brady settled into the living room for a showdown.

They started with a few rounds of Mario Kart, which is what they were doing when I snapped this pic. (Incidentally, I too play a few rounds of Mario Kart with just Isaac before Brady came downstairs. I finished a very respective sixth out of twenty-something.)

The true yelling began when they pulled out the Mario baseball game. There was much shouting and ranting and raving and laughing and shrieking. 

And although excess noise is one of my great nemeses, I laughed because I love hearing them having fun together. (And because I realize how few days they have left to create chaos together, since Isaac heads off to college in less than two months.) I am grateful for the sounds of happiness, and for how cacophony rooted in brotherly love sounds miraculously harmonious to my ears.

June 19

I haven't done much crocheting of late; just haven't felt the desire.

But I did finish a lightweight light blue shawl last weekend and pinned it to my blocking boards, where it's currently enjoying a good stretch.

And a few days ago, I started this little pink blanket. I have no idea where it will go, but I felt compelled to make something for someone else... even if I don't yet know who that person will be.

So for the renewed desire to make a difference in a positive way, I am grateful, because it's a blessing to be a blessing.

June 18

And just like that, Brady has aged out of Babe Ruth baseball. He played in the final game of his 15U season this evening. 

He's had fun playing with and getting to know boys from other schools in the general area for the past three years. As a pretty serious introvert, he hasn't established "let's swap numbers and keep in touch" connections, but I know he enjoys their interactions and will appreciate seeing them during the next three high school baseball seasons.

Although Isaac's freshman season was disappointing at best, it was through that team that we were introduced to Babe Ruth. And Isaac's involvement with the Royals opened the door for Brady to play as well. It's a good reminder that good things can --and do-- arise from bad circumstances. So for that truth --for the truth that God makes lemonade from the sourest of lemons-- I am thankful.

June 17

It's normal for the bros to grab their baseball gloves and play catch in the backyard.

It's unusual for them to stand in the pool while they play catch. But when I glanced outside this afternoon, that's exactly what I spied them doing: Brady was knee-deep in the hot tub, while Isaac was on the steps in the shallow end.

I'm not sure what prompted the game of water catch, but it was a blessing to see them enjoying some time together in the sunshine. Isaac will be off to college before I know it, so I'm filing away these sweet brotherly moments to look back on while I still can.

June 16

I've always been a photo person. When Abby and Logan (in particular) were young, I was the mom who lugged her bulky Canon Rebel to every single play date, family outing, and birthday party. I snapped pictures like someone was paying me to do it. And if I had to guess, I'd surmise that some people found it --and me-- annoying. But that's okay, because all these years later, I have images of Abby and Isaac and Brady at every age and in just about every imaginable scenario. And of course, I have photos of our five and a half years with Logan to help keep his memory alive in my heart and mind, too.

The Rebel is no longer my trusty companion and I don't take nearly as many "nice" pictures as I once did, but I still love capturing big moments. So I reached out to the amazing Racelle Campanelli to take some graduation-slash-turning 18 photos of Isaac. We met up at the Alviso Adobe park on the other side and town last Wednesday and enjoyed a very chill session. She sent me the gallery link this morning, and I had a hard time picking my favorites, so I'm posting just two of them for the purposes of this entry.

They're all beautiful images, and best of all, I feel like they capture "Isaac" in all of his cool, calm, easygoing Isaac-ness. And I know that when I scroll through them years from now, I'll look into his eyes and remember how I jumped around like an organ grinder's monkey trying to make him laugh because his REAL smile is so much better than a fake one. (And I succeeded!)

So for a fun and easy process and lovely results, I am thankful.

June 15

Today is Isaac's 18th birthday. My third child has officially entered adulthood and my primary reaction is "wait, what?" Kidding. Mostly.

Our freshly minted adult --who was truly already an adult when he arose this morning, since he made his grand entrance at 1:46 AM all those years ago-- had a good day. His expressed desire from the get-go was to spend as much time with his family as he could, so he told Abby and Brady that the four of us (since Adam was working and unavailable) would go to Starbucks to start the festivities first thing. He appeased Abby by wearing the "Happy Birthday" headband she had stashed in her stuff, so Karen the barista gifted him a birthday cake pop (in addition to the rainbow unicorn cake pop, sausage sandwich, and strawberry lemonade he already had). The three of them engaged in their usual sibling chicanery as we sat with Terry at the high top table near the bar, and I'm pretty sure all had a good time. 

Then we headed over to the Dairy, where Isaac asked Abby and Brady what they wanted, and then scurried inside to make their pineapple and vanilla cone (Abby) and chocolate milkshake (Brady), and then asked me if he could swipe my card to pay for the second item. (He gets free ice cream when he stops in, but it's only supposed to be ONE freebie. I'm grateful for his honesty and his desire to do the right thing when it would be easy to cheat the system.)

We returned to the house and Abby had class, so she left and the brositos and I took the opportunity to rest. Isaac fed his spirit by reading from the book of Isaiah, and then announced that he wanted to go bowling. We arrived at Granada Bowl a few minutes after it opened, and although their 'free bowling for kids' promotion meant there were plenty of folks there, we were able to score a lane and those fine, fine rental shoes. Our hour of gameplay saw me set a gutter ball record while the boys played reasonably well. Although I think Brady was the eventual overall victor, their scores were very close. (Mine was not. And I have no shame over the terribleness of my bowling game. I have no game.)

As we left, I asked about lunch, and after mulling the nearby options for a few seconds, Isaac chose Popeyes. We secured said chicken and went home, where the boys were dismayed to realize that they hadn't ordered tenders but bone-in chicken. Oops. But they rose to the occasion and powered through their unexpected finger lickin' experience.

Brady had a game this evening that he offered to skip, but Isaac wanted to see him play, so we left for that at 4. Isaac and I took a loop around the park during warmups, and then settled in for the match-up. (Adam and Abby joined us a few innings into the game. Aside: Brady went 1 for 3 with a double, and threw 27 pitches over three innings in relief, giving up no runs. It was a good game for him, although the defense was very messy and they lost.)

When the game ended, we headed to CPK for dinner, and then came home for presents and spice cake with cream cheese frosting. And now, with almost everyone else in bed or tucked away in their respective rooms, I have a few moments to reflect on the past 18-plus years of Isaac.

The short version is that he is and always has been a blessing. Before he could speak, his eyes communicated volumes, and I always knew that he was thinking, opining, evaluating, wondering, absorbing. He's always been his little brother's protector --way back to the early days when baby Brady would lose his pacifier, he would exclaim "Bah-e-man nee pa-e-chowa!"-- and his friends' pal and confidante and the first person to volunteer to help with just about anything. And he's always been a kid who will --with zero solicitation-- hug me and say I love you and thank me for being his mama. Just because.

And beyond the earthly considerations, I am grateful that he continued pressing into Jesus and reading his Bible and seeking God when life felt hard and he felt unworthy of love. And I am doubly grateful to God for being faithful to His promise that when we seek Him, we will find Him, and He will change us. I've seen those changes in Isaac firsthand: I've seen him become more patient. I've seen him hold his tongue when his younger self would've lost his temper. I've seen him choose love over disdain. I've seen him hold himself accountable by apologizing for his mistakes. And I've seen him make a legitimate difference in multiple people's lives, including my own.

So yes, I am grateful for the first 18 years of Isaac and for all of the many ways he has made and continues to make my life richer and more rewarding. He's a special person, and I am immeasurably blessed that I get to call him my son. Happy birthday, Isaac! I love you.

June 14

Exactly 18 years ago tonight, Adam and I got home from dinner at Stacy's Cafe downtown. I told the baby-sitter who'd spent the evening with Abby and Logan that I didn't think we'd be at church the next morning because I was in labor.

I laid on the couch as the contractions came and went and increased in intensity. Adam turned on one of the "Rocky" movies because he was amused by the thought of me laboring as Sylvester Stallone ran up the front steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. His parents made the fastest drive on record from Lafayette to Pleasanton, and then off to the hospital we went to meet our third surprise baby.

Isaac arrived about an hour and 45 minutes after the clock struck midnight so today is really just his birthday eve, but the memories have always been so clear in my mind that I figured I might as well rehash them once again.

Today was, I think, a good birthday eve for our latest almost-adult. We went to church in the morning, and he played video games with Brady and a round of a computer game with Adam this afternoon. And then this evening, we all played cards after dinner and then gathered around the TV to watch the latest Pixar film, "Hoppers." And right now, I can hear him upstairs talking and laughing with Brady. It's a good sound. A content sound that instills a sense of wellness in my soul.

So on this birthday eve of my sweet Isaac, I'm just grateful: grateful for the road we've traveled together thus far --including the potholes, because character and faith are built amid struggles-- and grateful for the remarkable young man he is. And grateful that God gifted Adam and me with the privilege of shepherding him along his way.

June 13

Isaac was working at the Dairy this evening, so Adam, Brady, and I drove over for some ice cream after dinner.

I'd been looking forward to trying the limited cinnamon roll flavor ever since Isaac mentioned it last night, and was disappointed when the gal that took our order said they'd just run out. But she quickly followed that up by saying they had Oreo, so I settled for that instead. I had spotted Isaac holding a tablet taking walk-up orders so I didn't even request that he bring out our cones, so the whole outing felt like something of a downer. 

But I was pleasantly surprised when, a few minutes later, Isaac emerged from the building holding our order. It turns out that he switched roles as we were coming through and just happened to fill our order without knowing it was us.

It was an unexpected blessing to see his face up close in that moment. 

And knowing that he made that cone made it taste even better, even if it wasn't cinnamon roll ice cream.

June 12

I went to Costco with Abby and Isaac this morning.

I think I mentioned it previously, but Abby decided to get herself a membership a few weeks ago, and when she did, she added Isaac as a user. So I went went to the warehouse with them and watched as they went to the counter and they activated his membership.

It's surreal given that I can so clearly remember them as babies and toddlers who were completely reliant on us for everything they needed, but it's a blessing to see them adulting together now. And I am grateful that God is continuing to shape them into confident, competent young people. 

June 11

The pitching target that I ordered for Brady arrived this afternoon. 

Even though it was over 100 degrees today, he put it together and took it outside, and set it up inside the big blue net the boys have had for a number of years now. Although his shoulder was a bit sore from throwing 70 pitches during yesterday's game, he made a few practice throws and proclaimed that he thought it would work out just fine.

It's a gift to me to be able to see his solid work ethic in action. I don't know where the baseball journey will take him in the long run, but I appreciate his dedication to it in the right-now.

June 10

I had such a nice evening with my Isaac.

We started off by taking Brady up to his game in San Ramon. While we waited for said-game to begin, we did the kids' story walk around the (blessedly mostly shady) park. One of us read each of the panels aloud as we learned how the main character learned to better take care of himself and his fellow eggs. Totally a kids' story, of course, but fun nonetheless (particularly since it was 95 degrees out and blazing hot in the sun).

Then we sat down to watch the first three innings of Brady's game, which was a good one for his team. For his part, Brady pitched four innings and allowed two runs, and Isaac thought he looked really good. (As did I.) He also saw a whopping six pitches total across four at-bats, which yielded two hits. (A simpler way of saying that would be "he was 2 for 4 at the plate.") 

We had to leave early because I'd scheduled some Graduation/18th birthday (a little late for the former, a little early for the latter) photos at the Alviso Adobe Park on the other side of town with the amazing Racelle Campanelli. So we headed back to Pleasanton, had the shoot, and then he said he wanted Jack in the Box chicken strips for dinner, so we swung by the drive-thru on the way home after. 

Isaac is a truly special person, and I'm conscious that his phase as a full-time resident of our home is almost over. So I'm grateful to God for the extra time I got to have with him today, just soaking in all of his Isaacy-goodness.

June 9

I think I've probably mentioned it before but we're playing car roulette this summer. Since Abby's future car is on order and won't arrive for (at least) a few more weeks, we have four drivers and three cars to meet our transportation needs: Adam and Isaac both need to get to their respective work places, Abby needs to get to school, and I need to run errands and ferry Brady wherever he needs to go. 

Today Isaac had Adam's car, so I picked said-husband up from the train station this evening. And then we hop-skip-jumped downtown for dinner at Strizzi's.

I could immediately tell when he got in the car that he was mentally chewing on something, so I asked him about it during our meal and had the opportunity to serve as a sounding board. (I was right, for the record. I guess almost 24 years of marriage will do that!) 

We are called by God to be partners with our spouses, so I'm grateful for the opportunity to be a help to mine this evening. (And the salad was pretty good, too!)

June 8

It's a bit of a rarity to have all 15 members of a summer baseball team show up for a single game. Or at least that's been our experience.

So when --during my pre-game stroll around the park-- I noticed that all 15 boys were actually present this evening, I asked Coach Chris if I could take a picture. So here they are! Brady is the third boy from the left in the back row.

As I routinely note, it feels like time is flying by at warp speed, so I am grateful for opportunities that allow me to create tangible memories that I --and we-- can look back on.

June 7

I love watching hard work transform into success. 

Brady played again this morning, and although the team didn't fare well, he continued with the adjustments he made at the plate during the previous game and went 2 for 3 with a solid double to dead center. (And he had the distinction of being the batter who broke up a no-hitter relatively late in the game.) He was content with his performance during the drive home after, and thanked me for letting him see the videos of his at-bats from last fall when he hit very, very well, because seeing them helped him to figure out how he needed to adjust his approach.

Hard work doesn't always lead to the results we want, and I'd argue that sometimes a good result isn't the end-game God has in mind for us. Sometimes He wants us to learn patience or humility or perseverance, and the best way to learn those things is to struggle; to push against the things that challenge us until we finally break through.

But when the hours spent on researching and tweaking and perfecting and changing it up produce results, well, those are sweet moments. So I am grateful that I've been on-hand to see some of the fruit of my kiddo's work.

June 6

Adam and I went to Costco this morning. I don't usually like going on weekends because everyone and their grandparents are there, but he wanted to go so I tagged along.

My slight aversion to this specific trip aside, there's generally something really soothing about going to Costco. As we strolled the aisles looking for this and that, I could so clearly remember doing the same with all of our kiddos --even Logan-- all of those years ago. And the memory brought me a sense of peace and contentedness. Not with how things are right now --because our family is permanently incomplete on this side of Heaven-- but because of how Jesus's sacrifice promises they will be, eventually.

Anyway, after we checked out, we swung through the food court and picked up hot dogs and pizza slices (and a salad for Abby) for lunch. And then we ate when we got home. And it was good watching these dear children of ours sit together at the kitchen table eating that food that's always --in a strange way, I suppose-- been so dear to us because of its nostalgic value.

So for all of that --for the memories and the promise of what's to come and the joy of watching Abby and Isaac and Brady continue to grow-- I am thankful.

June 5

I enjoyed a pleasant day with this girl (who doesn't have class on Fridays).

In the morning hours, we went to the Mother Ship, Safeway, and Target. 

Then this evening, we enjoyed a stroll around Central Park in San Ramon before we settled in to watch Brady's baseball game. (They lost again, but Brady had a solid pitching outing and busted out of his hitting slump, going two for two with a well-struck double. So I'm definitely thankful to see his effort finally pay off!)

Anyway, I'm increasingly conscious of how short-lived the "zero to 18 parenting" stage truly is, so I'm grateful for time spent with my babes.

June 4

Ah, my heart: my babes were together again today.

It was a night class day for Abby, so when Isaac got home from his guys' trip to Napa, the three amigos were all home again.

And at some point, after Brady decided he wanted to take a dip in the pool, Abby mused (once again, because she's shared the observation many times since she got home from Chicago) that BearBear needed a bath. 

So they took him outside, filled a bucket with a hefty cup of detergent and water, and got the job done just as they did a year or so ago. 

They were all suitably amused by the process of watching everyone's favorite stuffed predator as he was submerged into the water and then squeezed over and over and over again.

I guess it seems like a strange activity, but it was a blessing to see them laughing and doing something (oddly productive) together. I know these days are growing fewer by the moment, so I am grateful for this opportunity for them to spend some time together and bond.

June 3

I think I've mentioned before that Brady has struggled with batting of late. He had a game today, so this afternoon, he spent a few hours trying to diagnose his issues and working on his swing.

When go-time rolled around, he still didn't get a hit, but he made contact each time and I noticed that he was running better. So that was something.

And then after he went upstairs and did a few hours of driver's ed (because he could get his permit in less than two weeks if he finishes, as crazy as that is), he came back down and asked to watch the video of his at-bats today that I took on my phone.

I know he's frustrated, but I'm grateful that he's still trying because I know he enjoys the game. And I know how important it can be to keep focus and determination when the going gets tough.

June 2

This loving sibling scene unfolded in my kitchen just after noon.

Abby, fresh from her morning jog around the neighborhood, went in for a hug from pajama-clad Brady, who had recently emerged from his bedroom to explore the food options in the pantry. Brady deflected his sister's overt play for affection with a palm to the forehead, and Abby responded with a foot to the stomach.

It was antagonistic sibling cinema at its finest.

But seriously, they didn't actually harm one another, and the exchange made me laugh. And laughter is a blessing.

June 1

A single, simple sentence came to mind multiple times today: 

And then there was one.

For more than 20 years, my hours have been filled to brimming with the sounds of childhood: giggling and laughing and shouting and crying and yelling and exclaiming.

But today, with Adam at work and Abby off to the first meeting of her credentialing program and Isaac on a trip to Napa with his pals, it was just Brady and me. 

And then there was one.

To his credit, he handled the his first real day of summer vacation --and being the only kid in the house-- quite well. He played a video game and then got in the pool, where I joined him on a giant floatie and watched as he dove into the water over and over and over again. And then we took a trip to the AMPM for an Icee (for him), and then went to the grocery store for milk. And then as the sun moved closer to the horizon, he went out back and practiced his pitch grips by hurling a rubber ball against the side of the house. 

It's probably going to take some time to get used to the relative quiet, but I'm grateful that my children are growing and changing and taking advantage of opportunities to stretch their wings. And I'm grateful that for the time being, one is still a kid, because I'm not ready to be an empty nester just yet.