September 6

We watched a movie together this evening that cut into the kids' bedtimes so I wound up taking a walk by myself shortly after sundown. I thought about a lot of things as I looped and coursed my way through the surrounding neighborhoods. Since it was dark, I let myself really chew on my frustrations as I walked. I even cried a little since I knew no one could see me.

I didn't really come to any grand conclusions and I wasn't able to solve any of my issues, but this scene reminded me of an important truth:

A lot of people think that being a Christian means that you have it all figured out (or worse yet, that you think you know it all). That's not true. I don't have it all figured out; not even close, really. I don't know why God didn't heal Logan and let him stay and grow up with us. I don't know why some people struggle to make it financially. I don't know why life has to be so bloody hard sometimes.

But this scene gave me a moment of clarity. It reminded me that being a Christian means having faith, even when things don't make sense and even when your heart breaks and even when you want to throw in the towel. It means believing that a sacrifice was made for you so that one day, you can live a life unencumbered by pain and heartache and tears.

And for that peaceful moment of clarity, I'm thankful.