November 10

Adam took the Little Boys for a walk this afternoon without telling me. We're out in the woods at Adam's parents' cabin and I'm not intimately familiar with the trails in the area, so I had more than a few panicked moments as I waited and waited and they didn't return.

(I don't have a great photo, so this is just a scene inside this evening, when the boys were in bed and Adam, Abby and I were watching TV. Just a tranquil scene, I guess.)

All sorts of awful scenarios ran through my head, and it took me back to the days when I worried, 24/7, about Logan's health and what would happen.

Eventually, they came home, bearing tales of fun with sticks and wood piles, blissfully unaware of the heartache their absence had caused me. As I paced around the kitchen a few minutes later trying to settle my heart, I realized something important: Logan may not be here with me, but I've never once worried about where he is. Despite my own insecurities and doubts and fears, I've never doubted that he's in Heaven in the arms of Jesus. Never once. So although today's experience wasn't a fun one, it did remind me to remember that we're all safe in Jesus' arms; that even when I don't know where someone is at a given moment, it's okay because God knows.