February 21

I was in a funk for most of today. I let little things that don't really matter much get under my skin and eat away at me. My mood devolved until I was short-tempered, impatient, and near tears. (And, for what it's worth, it sucks to admit that, but I think it's important to be real, even when you're worried others won't like you. If you don't speak your mind, no one will ever know what you're thinking.)

So I went shopping by myself. The act of mindlessly wandering around the store helped a bit, but I didn't really rebound much until this evening when I saw this on the family room floor. It brought back a memory that made me smile.

Christmas morning, 2010. I was living in the haze of dealing with Logan's treatment and having an 11-day old baby and two other kids at home. Always the Cars aficionado, Logan received this Cars Toons character --Paddy O'Concrete-- as one of his gifts. After he'd opened it, I absently picked it up and admired its solid weight and fun design. And then I said the name... Paddy O'Concrete... and had an epiphany. Patio Concrete! I laughed maniacally at both the joke and my own slow wittedness.

As gut-bustingly exhausting as those days were, I would go back in a heartbeat because our family was all together, snug under one roof, laughing and living and one. I miss that so, so much.

But I'm thankful for the memories. And on the hard days, they have to be enough.