August 3

At Isaac's well-check a few weeks ago, the doctor heard a heart murmur. Although he said that statistically, most are benign (especially given that Isaac is seven and had never before had one), he didn't like a few things about what he heard, so he referred him to a cardiologist rather than opting for the 'watch and wait' approach that's often employed. I didn't share that information with many people; I could hardly bear the idea that something serious could be wrong with another of my children, so I kept it quiet. I didn't think about it. It's a survival technique, really. It's what I have to do to not worry myself sick. But of course I couldn't avoid the topic indefinitely, and today was his appointment.

The doctor was running a bit behind schedule, so while the kids played in the waiting room, I silently stressed. And then I saw this on the magazine rack.

My first feeling was one of nostalgia; my brother used to read Car and Driver, so the title's familiar font was strangely comforting. Then I looked a little closer, and realized that the blue car in the middle of the cover was a Corvette. A blue Corvette. I looked to make sure no one was watching, and then jumped up to take a picture, because it felt almost like Logan (through God... I'm not trying to be sacreligious here) was saying 'hey, I've got this.' And then we were finally called back to the exam room.

To make a long story shorter, although his EKG showed an abnormality, an echo showed normal heart function and structure, so the doctor proclaimed it a benign murmur. I will, of course, keep an eye on him, but what a blessing to get good news when I know how horrible it feels to get the opposite. And that blue Corvette... a beautiful little smile from beyond.