July 27

It's been hot this week. Like really uncomfortably hot. And the air quality is awful, too, so it's a double whammy of sorts. And for me, it's actually a triple whammy, because the heat stirs up vivid memories of myself 10 years ago, when I was just days away from giving birth to Logan.

Way back then during this week in 2006, the temps rose higher than they are now, topping out at close to 120 degrees when the sun hit its highest point in the sky and dropping into the 90s at night. I remember that it felt like I was breathing through a sock whenever I went outside. But I had a fully-ready baby in my belly, so though I was probably extra specially cranky --especially when our air conditioner quit and I filled the bathtub with ice cubes to try to keep myself and my then 20-month old Abby cool-- the promise of that new little person who was primed to join us on the outside made everything exponentially better.

I miss him every day. I miss him on Christmas and on Easter and on the first day of school and when we go on vacation and when I peek into the room he shared with Isaac and see his empty bed against the wall. And I'll miss him even more when he's not here to celebrate his 10th birthday on Sunday. But part of me is thankful that every time I get into the car, I see that triple-digit temp and remember the days leading up to his birth.

I may have been uncomfortable on this day 10 years ago, but my Sunshine was with me; still in my womb and literally close to my heart. And I'm thankful to have such distinct memories of that time.