June 2

I didn't get to watch Logan finish fifth grade today, and I grieve that loss. Every time there's a special day, I'll lament his absence and think of him, and the little cracks in my heart will split open and bleed all over again. But I know that I have to look back and live forward, and thankfully, this last day of school --this day of transition-- was filled with notable moments that I could've missed out on had I focused on what I didn't have.

I did get to watch Brady play modified soccer with his friends in the moments after he finished his final day of kindergarten. And I got to watch him pose for a pic with two of his good buddies:

I got to ask Isaac if there's anything special he'd like for his birthday and to hear him reply 'a pet, but I already have one, so I'm good'. (He "won" one of his class' pet betta fish yesterday, so we welcomed Jake the Fish to the fold.) And I got to reassure a sad Abby that she'll still see her friends over the summer. Then a little later, I got to have lunch with Adam and with the three of them.

So yes, it's easy to get caught up in what I don't have; and honestly, I think it's a reasonable reaction to a terrible slice of reality. But today, I'm thankful that the sadness didn't own me, and that the good outweighed the bad.