I got up this morning feeling off, so I decided it would be a "wear pajamas to the first drop-off" kind of day. Before we left, I sat on my bed and --as I often do-- I pulled prayer stones for some friends and prayed over them for a few minutes. Before I selected the last one, a word flashed through my mind: gratitude. I didn't pay much attention since I don't have a "gratitude" stone, but the word came back to mind again and again and again: gratitude. So I made a mental note to scrawl it on the palm of my hand between drop-offs.
And I did just that. And literally 10 seconds after I'd finished, Adam came through the front door, which was confusing since he was supposed to fly to Oregon this morning. Long and exhausting story shorter, he was involved in a chain reaction accident on the freeway on his way to the airport. I ran out front to see the car, and it was a hot mess. We haven't heard back from the insurance company, but the adjuster who gave it a gander at the autobody shop literally cringed when he saw the very-crunched back end. So given that and the less crunched but still crunched and leaking front end, it's probably totaled.
But even in that moment --when we were very unexpectedly faced with the likelihood that we'll need to buy our second new car in a very short span of time-- that word came to mind yet again: gratitude. So yes, though it sucks that the van is probably totaled, I'm grateful that no one was injured. And I'm doubly grateful that the 1997 Honda Civic he drove every day for more than 15 years lost first gear and was retired 3 1/2 months ago, which meant he was driving the very large and very sturdy minivan that was mine before we got the BMW I drive now. (And heck, there's also the blessing that he wasn't driving the new BMW!) And I'm also grateful that Adam's parents will be in Hawaii for the next month and gave the okay for him to borrow one of their cars while we sort it all out. So there's all of that.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I got home from picking up Abby from school and noticed that Isaac's fish, Jake, didn't look so good. I took a closer look and realized that he was actually belly up. After I finished facepalming (because seriously?!), we scooped him out of his tank, convened in the backyard, and laid him to rest alongside the other pet we've had -- our old kitty Violet. We shared a few fond words and said a prayer and Isaac and Brady cried. But even amid that second dose of unexpected sadness slash loss, that word came to me yet again: gratitude. Gratitude that that little blue betta fish lived with us for nearly two years and gratitude for the love that Isaac gave him every day he was here.
And then there was this evening. After I finally remembered to get dressed and brush my hair (because again, THIS DAY), Isaac played his second baseball game of the season. Although they came away on the losing end again, the word came back to me: gratitude. Gratitude that they fought back after initally trailing 1-9 to lose just 10-13. Gratitude that Isaac had a pair of hits and a pair of RBIs. And gratitude for the way he celebrated when he stole home for the very first time.
So yes. Although I'm bone tired and overwhelmed and there were many (many) things about today that sucked, I'll go to bed tonight feeling an enormous amount of gratitude for all that we do have, all that we have had, and all that we'll have in the days to come. And for the in-my-face (and on-my-palm) reminder that today has given me --that we're supposed to give thanks and feel gratitude even when things don't exactly go the way we'd like them to go-- I'm thankful.
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