May 9

For most of the past 10 years, I've had mixed feelings about Mother's Day. Some years, I choked back feelings of bitterness as I watched other mommies herd ALL of their children to and fro, keenly --painfully-- aware of the absence of the little lamb who was so prematurely snatched from my care. Others, I awoke with a lump of emotion pre-formed in my throat and struggled all day long to keep the tears at bay. But today, my 10th Mother's Day without Logan, was a pleasant one. A peaceful one.

I woke up earlier than Adam expected so at his request, I got back in bed and pretended to be asleep so he and the kids could do their traditional wake-up routine. (And video. Yep, there is in existence a succession of videos showing just-awakened, bleary-eyed me on Mother's Days past.)

I opened presents (which included an epic flower arrangement, an array of textiles --including the Corvette shirt I'm wearing in the pic-- and a hydroponic garden, which I'm eager to try out) and then we headed to the kitchen for waffles and church.

Then Adam and I took a turn around the Sports Park before picking up lunch, which we enjoyed at home shortly after taking my always-requested photos in the yard. A little later, he ferried the kiddos to a quick visit with his mom while I hung at out at home and enjoyed the quiet. And then it was on to dinner from Hap's (for the teenager and the adults. The Brositos had Little Caesars). And now, as Adam reads to the boys and Abby does homework in her room, it's quiet once again.

This life we share is not an easy one by any means. I think we think that it should be, but it's definitely not: it's filled with ups and downs and victories and heartaches, just as God said it would be. But the struggles aside, it's still a good life. So though I will always mourn the little lamb who left us far too soon for my liking, I will also always be thankful that he was here and thankful that I will see him again whenever Someday arrives. And I will always be thankful for this gift of motherhood that has imbued my life with equal doses fragility, strength, perseverance and love.