October 9

With a handful of busy weekend days on the calendar this month, we decided to take our annual trip to Pastorino's in Half Moon Bay today.

It was absolutely beautiful outside --cool but not cold temps and blue skies for miles-- and everyone was in good spirits as we loaded into Adam's car and headed south late this morning. Even the two teenagers among us --who had to be roused from their beds as the 10 o'clock hour approached-- were perky and sang along with the usual mix of "Phineas and Ferb" and college-days tunes as we traversed first the freeway and then those familiar country roads.

When we got to the farm, the kids took their time picking out perfect pumpkins; this time Isaac took charge of the wheelbarrow -- Isaac who dwarfs me and is somehow only a few inches shorter than Adam. And Brady chuffed around trying to shield himself from the bright sunlight. And Abby searched for a wee Instagrammable pumpkin for Logan. But they were all peaceful and (mostly) cheerful and agreeable. And all of it was just so good.

And of course, we snapped our usual photos, including this one, which is number 18 in a series that began way back in 2004 when I was very (very) pregnant with that beautiful girl standing there in the orange dress under the "entrance" sign; that beautiful, trailblazing girl who will mark her 17th birthday in just a few weeks. And the three precious little boys who came after. They've grown up in this series. And one of them --one with wispy strawberry blonde hair who I can so clearly remember bombing on little legs through rows of pumpkins many years ago-- has moved on; that truth could crush me, but it doesn't -- it just reminds me that he was here and that he's part of our history and our family. And I am grateful for that reality, even if it's not a reality I would ever have chosen for myself.

So yes: it was a blessed day, and I am grateful for the memories and the moments.