April 7

"It'll go by quickly," they told me all those years ago. "One day you'll turn around and she'll be an adult and off living out the plan for her life. But you'll still see her as a piggy-tailed two-year old with cookie dust on her lips and a look that says 'who, ME?' And you'll scratch your head and wonder where, exactly, those precious hours went. And you'll wonder how this nearly grown young woman could possibly be the same person as that little girl with the impish grin." 

I guess I believed them on some level; those forty and fifty-something women who looked at me with years of Experienced Mom wisdom behind their eyes. But I can't say that I really got it until now; not until this very moment, as I sit in a hotel room while Abby is in the next town over spending the night in a dorm. In a school that she may well attend for the next four years. In Illinois. It feels so. Far. Away. 

But then again, I went even further when I went away to college 26 years ago: Maryland-to-southern California far. I've never really thought about it until now, but I bet it was hard on my mom to see me fly away. But I'm glad she let me fly, since those miles that I've traveled guided by a hearty sprinkling of God's unending grace have made me who I am. They have, in a sense, brought me here, where I sit on a hotel bed in a Chicago suburb marveling over how on earth my girl is old enough to go to college in a few months.

So yes: we got up well before the rooster crowed this morning to fly to Chicago. Abby had her first White Castle sliders. (The verdict: "gross." Or something like that.) We checked in at Wheaton College and she received some swag; she's not totally sure she'll go there just yet, but it's probably in the lead as of now. We heard the gospel choir sing and I felt the Holy Spirit rise up in my chest. We took campus tours and attended a banquet, and then I drove back to the hotel in the rainy darkness while she went off to the dorm to meet her overnight host and play games. And here I sit reflecting on what was and what it and what may be. And it's overwhelming.

I think she could be very happy there but ultimately, it's her choice. And regardless of where she lands, I'll be proud of her for the amazing almost-adult she is. Because she is truly one of God's most beautiful creations, and I can't wait to see what He has in store for her.