August 7

It's becoming realer by the second.

It was rainy when we got up this morning, but we had tickets to the Cubs game so undeterred by the wet stuff, we drove into the city, walked over to Wrigley, went in, those of us over 21 (plus Abby) got our free Cubs Hawaiian shirts (woohoo for promo day!), and found our seats. It was more or less pouring at the time, but we made the best of the rain delay with hot dogs and nachos and a little dancing to the tunes playing in the stadium. 

The game started about an hour late and it rained intermittently and the Cubbies lost, but we were thoroughly entertained by the pomp and circumstance and tradition of the park. And we got Abby a brand new pink hat to celebrate her brand new city.

After the game ended, the kiddos walked hand-in-hand back to the rental car, and we headed back toward our home base. We stopped at Abby-favorite Chipotle for dinner before hitting up The Original Rainbow Cone for some ice cream. And then we navigated back to the hotel for the evening, where we all visited the fitness center (because apparently my kiddos love fitness equipment) and then settled into our rooms for the night.

So it's just me and my girl now. I fly home with the boys tomorrow, so it's my last evening alone with her, in person, for the next several months. I'm fighting back emotion as I write this and I'm sure that I'll lose that battle as soon as I close my laptop and look over at her on her bed. 

It's hard. Everyone I know who's sent a child off to college told me it would be and I believed them to an extent, but I wasn't sure how having lost Logan would color my experience. And now I can say with certainty that it's still hard and my heart still aches. But I'm so, so proud of her for taking this huge leap of faith by going to college here. I think it will be a time of incredible personal growth for her as long as she continues following Jesus and heeding His calls on her life. And for all of that, even amid my own feelings of sorrow, I am so grateful.