July 8

I'm always pretty real, but I'm going to be really real for a minute.

It's July, which is a big month for tournaments, so both Isaac and Brady had games today: Brady in Danville this morning, Isaac in Sunnyvale this afternoon (and that was a doubleheader). (For non-locals, those towns are not close together.)

It hadn't initially been the plan for Adam and I to attend both boys' games, but Brady's team was mercy-ruled in four, so we wound up driving en masse to Sunnyvale for Isaac's doubleheader. To sum up the scoring there, they lost game one 0-12 and then won game two 11-0. (That's baseball for ya.) Isaac accrued two hit-by-pitches, which is bizarre in and of itself, but what was even odder was seeing him at first base. Although Brady routinely plays at first, Isaac does not. In fact, we couldn't remember the last time he did. (Adam surmised A-ball, back when he was a member of the illustrious Grasshoppers. He's probably right.) But he did just fine. (And for the record, yes, that's him with the glove.)

So that was our day. But here's the really real part I was talking about: I'm tired. Like melt-in-my-chair, can hardly hold my head up tired. It's partly because it's challenging to sit in the sun all day long without moving around much, which is what happens when you're attending multiple consecutive baseball games. But it's also because I've let myself get tired on a soul-deep level. I've allowed myself to be hurt by others' slights. I've listened to the whispers that tell me I'm too much or not enough. I've fallen way, way short of the standards I hold for myself when it comes to parenting my kids. And worst of all, on many occasions, I've forgotten to pray to the God of all creation for guidance when I feel lost. (Or honestly, even when I don't.) I've become complacent.

But the good news is that I'm now aware that I've once again fallen short. And I've repented once again and once again I'm starting over. So for the truth that tomorrow is a new day and that God forgives my shortcomings over and over (and over) again, I'm thankful.