May 18

I'm a big fan of country music, but lately, I've been obsessed with Emeli Sande's Next to Me. I'd never even heard of the Scottish singer/songwriter until the week of May 7, when Sande herself sang said tune on Dancing with the Stars and Candice Glover sang it again a night later on American Idol. And I heard it yet again during last week's Idol finale. (Just in case I hadn't noticed it the first two times!)

The first thing that struck me about the song were Sande's gorgeous vocals. But it wasn't until I'd heard it a few more times and really listened to the words that it blew me away.

I don't know precisely what was in Sande's heart when she wrote the words, but to my ears, they absolutely exude faith, trust and hope for the future. That in and of itself could be enough to make me think of God when I hear this song. But after I did a little more research, I became even more convinced that at least for me, it is a God wink.

When I Googled the song, I saw that it was first released as a single in Ireland. On February 10, 2012. The day before Logan passed on. While I was feeling alone and abandoned at the hospital, this song that I hadn't yet heard was playing overseas...

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, will find him next to me

If that wasn't odd enough, it was released to mainstream US airplay on February 12 of this year, the day after that first difficult anniversary.

I wish I could tie this entry up with a pretty bow, but sometimes it's hard to convey why some experiences, songs, sounds, smells and thoughts mean much more to me than others. All I know about this is that this song will always mean a lot to me.