July 30

Logan's birthday is weighing heavily on my heart tonight. Tomorrow, he should be here with us celebrating his 8th birthday. He should be blowing out candles on a cake and taking annual photos at JCPenney. But sometimes life doesn't go as we'd like. And he's not here, at least not in a way we can fully understand or feel or, some days, even live with. What I would give to be able to pad softly into his room and give him a kiss on this, his last night as a 7-year old. What I would give to have those moments that were so unjustly stolen from us.

But still tomorrow will come. And we'll remember and celebrate the indelible imprint he made on our lives. This bracelet that Brady got at Vacation Bible School yesterday reminds me of the importance of celebrating and giving thanks, even when it's hard. Like the bands of the bracelet go on and on and circle 'round and 'round, life keeps going 'round and 'round no matter what. And eventually, the ends meet up and create a complete, perfect unit with no discernible beginning and no discernible end. Just like one day, we'll all meet up with Logan once again and all of the pain and heartache we live with will be so overwhelmed by the greatness of the overarching story that it will forever lose its sting.

That may be a little overly complex, but it makes sense in my mind. And sometimes, despite my desire to communicate plainly, that's all I need.