Ready or not --and I never really am-- the third anniversary of Logan's passing is only a few weeks away. I still look for him in my daily life; for signs that he's still with us, so to speak, in whatever way God has deemed possible. Most of the time, I don't see much. And then I see this kid and my heart just overflows.
Brady has his biggest brother's smile. He also has his zest for life and for dancing crazily and for making silly faces at just the right moment. He'll make a face or say something ridiculous just in time to keep my heart from shattering; just when the enormity of our loss feels like great to bear.
This afternoon, he came downstairs with Lambie in hand and said he wanted me to take their picture together. So I did. Then a moment later, he called Isaac over and explained that he wanted to take a picture "with all the boys." So I did that, too. And it made my heart leap with joy. Human life continues on. The sadness will never fully go away. But Abby, Isaac, and Brady will always remember their brother in their own special ways. And that will always make me smile.
I love that Brady is so aware that Lambie represents Logan. I picture Abby, Isaac and Brady talking as adults with Abby and Isaac sharing stories of Logan with Brady and Brady thinking he remembers them himself because they've been shared so many times they become part of his long term memory.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that Logan got to know his baby brother even just a little bit before he went home.