May 14

I've had mixed feelings about Mother's Day since Logan died. On one side of the coin, I'm so thankful to be with these people every day. I really do realize that motherhood really is one of the greatest gifts God gives us, in spite of the ups and downs and struggles and frustrations that so often arise.

On the other side of that same coin is the crushing reality that my family will never again be fully complete on this side of Heaven. It's a truth with which I've grappled for the past five years. It's not a truth that gets easier to accept over time; it's just one with which I have no choice but to live.

So today, as we brunched and I napped and we ate pizza while watching Brave, I was thankful for the times that were, and are, and will be in the days and months and years to come. And though I can't say that my heart ever truly felt light, I had happy moments. And given that holidays can be hard, that's good enough for me.