They're artificial, but someone clearly took the time to arrange them and make them look nice. He's been gone for over five years, of course, but it always touches my heart when someone does something --even a very small, anonymous something-- to show that he's still remembered.
That was my primary point here, but I wanted to share something else, too. I don't go to his grave by myself very often these days. At first I did; I was there multiple times a week and wound up in tears every time. As I stood there looking down at his stone this morning, I reflected on my lack of visits, and started to say that I wasn't feeling as emotional as I used to feel when I visited. But then I surprised myself and started crying. I had a conversation with my son and cried; I talked about how I'm getting more involved at the boys' school and about the bitter realization I had recently that he never even got to meet a number of the terrific people I now call my closer friends. How life is just not as good without him in it. And then I stood in the silence with just his stone and my tears as company, and listened.
As I drove away a bit later, I reflected on a truth: no matter how my personal situation and experiences may change from one minute to the next, the underlying truth is always the same: I will always mourn him. Although the tears come less frequently, they still come, and they often take me by surprise. With all of those truths in mind, the BIG truth remains: no matter how messy the world becomes, God will still be on His throne. And when I look at my own highs and lows and laughter and tears, I'm thankful that that is the ultimate truth.
<3
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