I've never been able to hide my emotions particularly well, so I may as well just admit that I've spent the last few days brooding. Someone I care about hurt my feelings a few days ago, and though I'm sure it wasn't intentional (and in fact, said person probably has no idea that s/he did anything wrong), it doesn't lessen the sting. I'll be first in line to admit that brooding and thinking don't do much in cases like this one, but I'll also tell you that it's not really a choice; it's the way my mind works. I examine and study and re-examine situations until I can force them to make sense. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can't explain the pain away, and that creates a dissonance in my soul that's hard to overcome. So that's where I've been: thinking and thinking and thinking some more.
In spite of my inability to bring order to my mental chaos, I had a restful moment this evening that's worthy of a share. We came out of Costco after the moon had risen, and the sky was just beautiful. I gazed at the scene that God so lovingly painted for us and a sigh slipped out. For me, there's real comfort in knowing that the God who created that cosmic artwork is the same God who created me. My life is far from perfect and I certainly have my share of struggles --and in some ways, I feel like I've had to deal with more than my share-- but I know that in spite of it all, I'm still blessed.
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