October 31

Halloween looks different now that our kids are older. Abby sent photos of herself and her friends, who all dressed up as different American Girl dolls. Isaac, at the very last second, grabbed a Santa Hat and announced that he was going to school as a "confused guy." And Brady... well, he had the Big Bird sunglasses I got for him when I dropped him at school, but I never actually saw them *on* his face. So yeah, not so big on the costume-thing these days.

Then after school (which was a minimum day, so they were out by 1), I took the bros over to church so they could help set up for the trunk or treat event. They texted me two hours later to announce that they were done and to ask me to pick them up, so I headed over.

...and then we wound up hanging out there for another hour and a half. I enjoyed chit-chatting with friends and visitors alike --including the firemen and policemen who attended-- and Isaac and Brady enjoyed the face painting station. Their youth group friend Jocelyn was the artist, and both boys visited several times.

We rolled into the garage just as Adam finished plating dinner, so we ate and then the boys worked on carving their pumpkins while I donned my Hello Kitty onesie and headed to the bonfire at the top of the street. It's chilly out tonight, but it's always a blessing to get to catch up with our neighbors.

So yeah, Halloween looks different these days. But I'm content with what is. I'm grateful that Isaac and Brady were open to helping out at church and I'm grateful that I got to thank our police and firemen in person for their service and dedication to our community. And I'm grateful for good neighbors and fun events and chances to connect. Halloween was sweetened by candy when I was a kid, but these days, it's the many blessings I see in the day that make it an entirely different brand of sweet. And I'm grateful for that reality, too.

October 30

After today's practice, Brady's team headed over to Round Table for some pizza and to watch some of the evening's World Series game.

My kiddo was of two minds about going. On one hand, he's not historically one to turn down pizza. But on the other, he --whether he realizes it or not-- deals with fairly significant social anxiety, particularly when he's around kids who a) know each other well, and b) don't know him well.

But we went anyway, and I watched him from a table off to the side. He was mostly quiet, but every now and then, he'd smile or say something to fellow Pleasantonian Ben (who was seated to his left).

I'm proud of him for taking on a challenge and grateful to God for making him brave. After all, small steps can lead to big growth over time.

October 29

While Adam and I were at dinner tonight, Abby texted our little group chat to say hi.

At one point she asked for a picture, so I quickly snapped this as we were finishing up our food and sent it her way.

It's a blessing (and a wee bit funny) that she likes to hang out and be in touch with us as much as she does. I know it's never guaranteed that an adult child will want to be around his or her parents, so it's pretty sweet that ours does.

October 28

Today was a Beautiful Sky Day.

From the early morning hours until late afternoon, the clouds were numerous and varied in shape and shade. And the way the sunlight illuminated some edges and blurred out others was amazing. It was like watching a piece of artwork as it was painted and repainted over and over and over again.

I'm grateful for all of that easily accessible loveliness.

October 27

The Niners played the night game this week, so we gathered in the family room at dinner time to take in the action. (And if you were me, to crochet, too.)

At one point early on, Isaac disappeared and then reappeared wearing his Brock Purdy jersey. Across the room, Brady clutched a stuffed Sourdough Dan. And next to me, Adam had his own stuffie --the famous-in-our-house Steve-- ready to toss into the air whenever the Niners scored. I love all of that passion, even if it is just football, because it's good to care and to invest and to cheer and to encourage.

So yes, it was a nice evening with most of my favorite people, so I'm grateful for it. (And I'm grateful that SF beat Dallas.)

October 26

I was standing in my closet this morning trying to figure out what to wear when my eyes fell upon on this sweater.

I bought it for $10 at Francesca's --one of Abby's favorite stores-- earlier this year during what I'm sure was an end-of-season fire sale. I didn't need another sweater, per se, but I loved the blue because it reminded me of Logan's eyes. And it was so, so soft. And I couldn't even buy the yarn needed to make it for $10 anyway. So home with me it came.

And then it hung in the closet with my other sweaters until today, when I decided I'd wear it for the first time.

There's really nothing quite the feeling I get from wrapped myself in a comfy sweater that reminds me of my sweet boy.

October 25

The sermon last Sunday featured a tale about justice, grace, and mercy that stuck with me. It went a little something like this: if a policeman pulls you over for speeding and gives you a ticket, that's justice. If he doesn't give you a ticket, that's mercy. If he gives you a donut, that's grace. Humor aside, it really resonated with me (probably because I love donuts) so I thought about it on and off all week long, mulling over the concept and over whether or not I'd choose to mete out justice or mercy (or even grace) if an opportunity were to present itself.

And because God is the great teacher He is, I was presented with an opportunity to apply the lesson to a real-life circumstance today. 

After enjoying my time at the Mother Ship, I went out to my car. As I approached, I noticed what looked like fresh scratches and scuff marks on the rear panel (which is part of the bumper), near the tire. Then I saw rows of scuff marks across the tire itself and it dawned on me: someone hit my parked car. I shook my head, annoyed that someone would do that and not leave a note... and then I noticed the note stuck in the door handle. 

Immediately grateful that the mystery person had done the right thing, I opened it and read the contents, which included an apology and a phone number. I slipped the note in my center console so I wouldn't lose it and got back to running my errands. 

When I finally pulled back into the garage at home, I verified that the sensors in the bumper still worked and that the backup camera was okay. And then I thought about that sermon. And I decided, pretty much then and there, that I would show mercy. So I called her and told her that I'd checked it out and since the damage seemed to be purely cosmetic, we wouldn't worry about it. She seemed surprised and insisted that if something pops up with a sensor to please let her know. And I thanked her for  leaving the note and she called me the nicest person. And we wished each other well and that was that. 

I'd have been well within my rights to insist that she pay to repair my bumper, but I've gotta tell you all the truth: showing mercy felt better than a fresh rear panel would've looked anyway. 

October 24

I was settled into my preferred spot at the Mother Ship this morning, alternately (carefully) sipping my coffee and crocheting my latest work in progress, when Brady messaged me from school to say that he didn't feel well. I asked if he wanted to go home, and he said maybe, but he wanted to wait to see if he'd continue to feel bad. That sounded reasonable to me --especially since it was coming from the mind of a 13-year old-- so we left it at that.

But exactly one hour later, I got another message that read "come get me now please." So I told him to go to the nurse and I'd head over.

When we got home, he went up to his room, and when I checked on him a little later, I found him curled up in bed, asleep. I watched him for a minute and then snapped a quick photo because the sight of him cuddled against his narwhal Squishmallow was just too sweet.

No one likes feeling sick, but it's a blessing to me to be able to take care of my babies when they're under the weather. After all, they don't stay young for very long.

October 23

Another Wednesday, another outing to the Mother Ship with my baby.

I don't have any new or grand observations so I'll just share what I've got: I continue to be grateful for these regular one-on-one moments with Brady as he marches toward the start of his high school career next Fall. 

He has a tough exterior that can be tough to crack (although the fastball he took to the ribs at practice this evening came close). But underneath that shell, he's intelligent and funny and even sweet sometimes. And I'm blessed that he's part of our brood.

October 22

Sometimes it's all about those everyday things that are so easy to overlook and underappreciate.

At lunchtime today, for example, I was munching on a small bowl of dry Golden Grahams. My cereal preferences tend to vacillate quite a lot; one month I'll be all about Cinnamon Chex, and then the next, it's Crispix. But right now, it's the Golden Grahams.

As I ate, I reflected on how tasty they are; how crunchy and sweet. And I found myself feeling profoundly grateful for my taste buds and my teeth that team up to allow me to enjoy my food and for the cute little heart-shaped bowl that held those delicious morsels.

It's good to be grateful for the small things. And I am.

October 21

I so rarely find new Cars Cars these days that it's rather shocking when I do.

But this morning, during a post-Bible study Walmart run, I got a little surprise.

It's crazy to realize that I've been buying these for 16 years, but I have. And I'll probably continue to add them to my collection for as long as the manufacturer cranks 'em out because they feel like a connection to Logan. And remembering how much he adored these cars with faces... that's always going to be a blessing.

October 20

As we were driving to church this morning, I realized that I'd put my outfit on backwards.

Given that I was wearing a jumpsuit, I really have no idea how I managed that feat, but I did. I figured it out when Adam pointed out that my tag was sticking out, and that said-tag was on my front and not in the back.

Initially I panicked, but upon confirming with my boy-squad that it wasn't an obvious gaffe, I shrugged it off and took my backwards-outfit-wearing self inside for the service.

We all do goofy things sometimes because no one walking this earth right now is perfect. In fact, it's good for me to be reminded that I'm imperfect (ideally in harmless ways like this) because those little reminders keep me humble. And feeling that humility brings me a step closer to being the kind of servant that God calls me --and all of us-- to be.

October 19

I look forward to our annual trip to the pumpkin farm, and given the lack of baseball this weekend, today was the big day for 2024.

And this beauty right here is the 22nd image in what's currently a series of 22; a series that started way back when I was very pregnant with Abby and looked like I was trying to smuggle a large gourd out under my stretched-to-its-limit shirt. Sweet memories.

Anyway, we hit the road bound for Half Moon Bay at around 9:45 this morning. Since it also happens to be pumpkin festival weekend we knew we were in for a long ride, but we didn't let the heavy (and slow) traffic get us down. (As I paraphrased a quote by Sally in Cars, "we were traveling to HAVE a great time, not to MAKE great time.") We listened to tunes and then later, to a series of corgi races on YouTube. Corgi races are surprisingly hilarious. (Isaac was delighted when Tedford Woofington took a surprise victory.)

Then when we arrived at Pastorino's, we took our annual photo (okay, well, a series of them, since I like to have a selection to choose from, especially on extra-sunny, blink and squint inducing days like this one) and then nabbed a free wheelbarrow. Pumpkins were chosen (and photographed extensively, if you were Isaac) and more photos were snapped. And then we began the trip back home, which included a stop at McD's for lunch.

I love this tradition. And I love our photo sequence. I love looking back at the details in the older images, like how tall the kids were and what outfits they wore and how their expressions changed from year to year. I love watching as --frame by frame-- they each surpass me in height. Abby first, and then Isaac, and finally --this year!-- Brady. 

There's also the obvious sadness over the truth that Logan was in so few of these precious images, but there's joy in Lambie's presence in each one (he's there again this year!) and there's joy in remembering the amazing boy he was --the way he smiled and danced and loved-- while he was here. And there's more joy in knowing that we'll see him again whenever Someday arrives. I think of him every day, but on days like this one --the ones steeped in tradition and fun-- the memories of him become more salient and real. And I love how tangible they feel because somehow, it makes him feel a little less gone.

So for all of that -- for traditions and pumpkins and corgi races and memories and family and the promise of a tomorrow that's beyond what I can imagine where I will see that boy of mine again -- I am grateful.

October 18

Courtesy of a pair of athletic teen boys and a husband who enjoys milk with his cereal, we go through roughly a gallon of the white stuff per day at our house. 

Which in turn means that I visit the grocery store multiple times each week.

During today's run to Grocery Outlet, I spotted these beauties on the shelf in the cereal aisle. Although I routinely buy the regular (non-chocolate) peanut butter variety since they're one of Isaac's favorite snacks, I hadn't seen the chocolate flavor in at least five years. 

Given that I was bummed when they disappeared from the stores, I was pumped to find them there today, just waiting for me to scoop them up. In a weird way, it was like reconnecting with an old pal.

And I'm grateful for the unexpected gift of reconnection with this delicious "friend."

October 17

The moon tonight is beautiful.

Brady actually pointed it out in the sky as we drove home from practice last night; although it looked full to me at the time, he claimed that it wasn't quite there yet. That it was still missing a tiny sliver of light.

And then I saw it tonight and realized that yep, he was right. It's definitely full now.

And it's definitely lovely. So for the gift of that kind of natural beauty, I am grateful.

October 16

It was one of those "hard to be patient" kinds of mornings. Thanks to what I later learned was an accident on the freeway, traffic in town was horrible. (As in "it took me half an hour to go two miles" horrible.) Then after I dropped Brady at school (late), it took me yet another 40 minutes to travel another few miles, and that was only after I gave up on my initial route and opted for a detour that would, on normal days, take much longer.

Younger Me would've been furious over the delays. Patience was never really Her strong suit and the parking lot style of the road would've pushed her to anger.

But Older Me took it in stride. Maybe it was increasing maturity, or maybe it was the drippy-drop of tiny raindrops that dotted my car's windshield that provided a welcome (and unexpected) distraction.

Regardless of the reason, I'm thankful for the patience that God has continued to tend and grow within me. I still don't like waiting, but it's much more bearable than it used to be.

October 15

I stopped by my local Hallmark store this morning to check out this year's Christmas ornaments. 

I found these on a random shelf and they really took me back in time (as they're no doubt intended to do!). My mom had (and probably still has) ornaments just like these, and I can pretty clearly remember carefully hanging them on our tree when I was a kid. There's something about these ornaments in particular that so beautifully reflect Christmas tree lights.

Anyway, it was a good memory. And I'm grateful to have it in my mental storehouse.

October 14

I engaged in several different Monday activities today: my customary Starbucks run, Bible study, a trip to Costco, school drop-offs and pick-ups, texting with Abby, and then this evening, I shuttled Brady to and from practice. And I walked around the park while I waited for the latter to conclude so I could get my steps in.

And now I'm at home with my current project next to me, watching Beachfront Bargain Hunt on TV with Adam.

It was an ordinary day --as ordinary as they get, really-- but it was a blessing nonetheless, because every day is a gift.

October 13

Isaac's been working on a project for most of the day. 

I have the distinct feeling that he procrastinated quite a long while before his frenetic work fest commenced, but I'm still impressed by the consistent and dedicated attention he's applied to his task. And it looks really nice to boot! (I'd share but he wasn't amused by me taking this photo so I can only imagine the reaction to me getting any closer.)

A good work ethic is a valuable asset, so I'm thankful that he's focused on getting his work done (and on doing it well).

October 12

It's another tournament weekend, so we spent the evening watching Brady and the TVBR 14's playing a pair of games out in the Central Valley.

To sum it all up, they won one and lost one, and Brady had a couple of hits, a walk, and pitched 1 1/3 scoreless innings. (He was only scheduled to throw one inning, but came in early to get them out of a bases-loaded jam.) Decent results overall.

But what really struck me is how they pulled together to win game two by a significant margin. They were actually trailing late in the game, but strung together a (long) series of hits and walks that netted them 11 additional runs and a very definitive win.

Winning isn't everything --and most of the time, we probably learn more from losing-- but it's a blessing when effort pays off.

October 11

Isaac and Brady didn't have school today, so I took the opportunity to take them to Black Bear for brunch.

I enjoyed their witty repartee (even if they did fully embrace the chance to tease me to the fullest extent of their collective ability) and listening to Isaac talk about the happenings at school. And then I marveled over their shared teenage ability to reduce very large plates of food to crumbs. (If only I could eat like that.)

They're good boys, and I was reminded once again of how blessed I am to be their mom.

October 10

When we got home from school pick-ups today, I asked the boys to please retrieve the garbage cans from the curb and return them to their usual haunt.

And without a single comment (well, except for a single chirpy "what?" since Brady didn't hear me the first time), they did it. And they did it with smiles on their faces. 

Given that I feel like much of my time over the years has been spent engaged in conversations (and arguments) with my generally very stubborn children about why they have to do this or that, it's such a blessing when they just... do whatever it is.

October 9

Wonderfully, mercifully, awesomely, the temperature dropped by about 20 degrees today.

That meant that by the time Brady's practice rolled around at 4:30, it was a lovely, temperate 70ish degrees.

After weeks of 90 and 100-degree days, the cooler weather is a huge blessing.

October 8

Adam and I went out to dinner this evening like we do on most Tuesday nights.

I'm not entirely sure why, but when our server asked what side I'd like with my BBQ burger, I went with mashed potatoes. Not the usual burger pals that are fries, but mashed potatoes.

I didn't realize what a strange choice I'd made until I had my plate in front of me.

But I thought about it as I ate and came to a conclusion. Although my selection was unorthodox, it was a good one. Very good, really. I think I enjoyed the potatoes more than I would've liked fries. 

It was a nice reminder that trying new things can risky, but it can also lead to unexpected (and tasty)  blessings.

October 7

I'm seriously sick of the high temperatures of late. It's been over 100 degrees just about every day for the last week plus, and I'm not a high heat kind of girl.

But the good news is that today should be the last really hot day for a while. (Hopefully until next year sometime.) 

So I'm thankful that we may finally see a nice cooldown in the days to come because I'm fully ready for Fall.

October 6

Isaac helped with the kids at church this morning.

This is how we found him after the service: too-small hat perch atop his head, engaged in a quest to entertain a wee one.

I love how much fun Isaac has with children (and how much they enjoy him, too, because they most certainly do). He has a real heart for service, and I'm grateful for all of the ways that he makes the community a better place.

October 5

I hung around the house all day long and only wound up taking a single photo, so here it is.

I took it because I was in the middle of a text conversation with Abby and wanted to send her a visual representation of Brady's reaction to a question I asked him. (I guess that's kind of vague --sorry!-- but the content of the question isn't really relevant here so I'm leaving it out.)

After I sent the image on to my girl, I studied it for a minute. This baby of mine --who will turn 14 in mid-December-- has grown up so much over the past few years. He's as sharp as a tack and clever and funny and sometimes far too wise for his age. 

But, as the presence of a very well-worn BearBear indicates, he's still a kid, too. And I'm grateful for those kid-like attributes and tendencies that live on in him, even as he continues to grow up. Because no matter how old he gets, he's always going to be my baby.

October 4

This is my Starbucks friend, Rob. (There are actually three Robs and a Bob, but I digress because this entry is about this one particular Rob.)

This Rob lost his wife not long ago, and the two of us have had a handful of very honest conversations about the role that faith can play in a grief journey. He's told me that he walked away from the church after encountering hypocrisy, and I've told him to remember that the church is completely comprised of imperfect people who can and will screw up and hurt others. And I've reminded him that regardless of how he feels about The Church, God is always with him.

Anyway, he came in today after the other Usuals had already departed and plunked down in the chair next to me. With a measure of excitement in his voice that I hadn't heard before, he shared a pair of recent unusual experiences that left him with the distinct feeling that "someone" was trying to get his attention. He said he wasn't intending to share the stories with everyone he knew, but wanted to tell me because he knew I'd get it. 

I smiled, showed him the goosebumps that had appeared on my arms while he was sharing, and said that I would say that it was God who was trying to reach him. Although he wasn't entirely sold on that idea, he was open to it. And he added that he felt a new conviction to move forward and find joy in his life, so he booked himself a cruise later this year.

I know it's been a tough year for him, so it was a big blessing to see him find a measure of peace and happiness. And maybe even a seed of faith.

October 3

I don't remember exactly when it began, but at some point during her latter teenage years, Abby started coming downstairs to hang out with Adam and I after bedtime.

And now, at age 16, Isaac does the same. He came down tonight, got himself a snack, plunked down on the couch across the room, and joined in on our conversation about the episode of "Lakefront Bargain Hunt" we were watching.

I could be annoyed over them not staying upstairs after they've been "put to bed" (in quotes because it feels weird to write about teenagers being "put to bed" like little ones). But I'm not. It feels like part of their ongoing march toward adulthood, so I'm glad to have them with us for those precious, unplanned moments spent discussing the virtues of living in the forest versus suburbia.

October 2

I was out running some errands this morning when I went into a store and saw this on the shelf:

A Lightning McQueen sun visor for my car.

I've mulled buying one for months now, and given how hot it was yesterday (and today), I decided to pull the proverbial trigger today.

I used it in the pick-up line this afternoon and was stunned by the difference it made.

I'm grateful that it kept the temp in my car down. And I'm also grateful that when I look at it, my sweet boy immediately comes to mind.

October 1

When I parked my car in the middle school pickup line this afternoon, it was a moderate 107 degrees outside. Over the course of the next half hour, it rose to a toasty 113.

It's true that I was sitting in full sunlight so the air itself probably wasn't quite that hot, but as I wandered around picking up the errant traffic cones that the office staff forgot to grab from the parking lot, I mused that it would be accurate to call the temp uncomfortable. Oppressive, even. Definitely hot with a capital H.

Although I'm not generally one to keep my engine running (even though I have a hybrid), I made an exception to my rule for obvious reasons. And that air conditioning felt really, really good.

So today I'm grateful for air conditioners. All of them. Because they have the power to make less than great situations much more palatable.