April 6

Brady announced that he was bored this afternoon and said he wanted to make something. So we poked around in the pantry until I came across a forgotten bag of peanut butter chips and I suggested he make the recipe on the label.

Although I know he's perfectly capable of baking on his own, he asked me to help, so I hung around to give guidance (and softened butter in the microwave, since that's not something in his skill set quite yet). 

I watched as he mixed the flour and cocoa powder. I held my breath at he cracked the egg and carefully dropped it into the bowl. (No shell!) And I demonstrated an effective method of mixing the ingredients by hand. 

And in the end, he had a few dozen delicious chocolate peanut butter cookies cooling on a rack. 

He's never really been a kid who likes to sit around doing nothing at all, so I'm thankful for his industriousness and for his willingness to try something new. (And for the cookies, too, because I do love peanut butter and chocolate.)

April 5

It was a nice day out, so during the early afternoon hours, the boys went to the park to play catch while Adam and I took a stroll around the neighborhood.

As we passed by the park during the latter part of our trek, Isaac and Brady --who had tired of their game-- joined us. I'm still in recovery mode from my allergy-slash-cold attack from earlier this week (and I was wearing a mask) so I poked along at the back of the pack, which allowed me to snap a pic of My Boys.

Way back when, it wasn't unusual for us to take family walks, but it's not a practice that continued when we moved into our current home five years ago. So it was a sweet nostalgic treat to walk (and in Brady's case, roll) together today.

April 4

It was a day filled with blessings.

The final school bell of the day ushered in Spring Break.

Brady and his friend Jackson rode their bikes to McDonalds for Big Macs (the Minecraft adult happy meal, to be precise) and then rode over to the high school to watch Isaac's game. It was Brady's first time doing both things, and though I was nervous over the idea of him riding in traffic, it went just fine.

Isaac smacked a beautiful double to center field during said-game.

And we enjoyed a post-game dinner out with Adam's parents, who attended the game. Their birthdays were yesterday (mom) and this coming Monday (dad) so it was sweet to be able to celebrate them.

So yes, today was filled with blessings. And I am thankful for each of them.

April 3

I am overwhelmed. 

And these days when I feel overwhelmed, I crochet. So for several hours today, I furiously worked my hook through the yarn as if the speed of my hands could somehow grant me faster understanding of things that make no sense, thereby alleviating the unpleasant sensation of being overwhelmed.

But that didn't happen, of course, because some things that happen in our very human realm don't make sense.

And this most definitely does not make sense: Our church family suffered the loss of one of our own a few days ago in horribly tragic fashion. Hers was a lovely life taken far too soon by someone she should've been able to trust. It's awful and heartbreaking. And for me, unexpectedly triggering.

When I heard the news, I was transported back in time more than 30 years to my middle school days, when the mom of a friend of ours who lived just three houses down was shot and killed by our friend's stepfather. The sharpness of the violence was surreal and I remember literally collapsing when I got home from school that cold February day and another neighbor told me what had happened. About the SWAT team and how our other neighbor had helped to drag her injured body into his yard. That no, she wasn't okay. That she was dead. Just... gone. That day changed me.

I remember being deeply affected; I wore all black to school the following day and a cloud of grief hung over me for weeks like a wool coat. Eventually, I dealt with it by not thinking about it anymore. I put the memories in a box, sealed it, shelved it, and moved on. 

Until this week. Thirty-some years later and a similar tragedy broke the seal on those memories and uneasy feelings, and I wasn't ready for it. I'm tempted to do what I did before and just stow the awfulness away in that old box, but that doesn't seem right, because now, as an adult with significantly more life experience under my belt, I understand more about life and death. And more importantly, I know more about God. I know that God weeps when we weep; I know that it grieves His heart when we use our free will to make choices that leave others with painful scars. I know that He wants the best for us but that He will never force us to make choices that will lead to those best lives because He wants us to feel the depth of His love and choose Him.

Yes, I know that He is good, even when I don't understand and when it makes no sense, just like I knew He was good even after Logan died. And I know that He comforts us when we weep and brings solace when we ask Him to be near. And that's a heartening, encouraging truth.

So tonight, I am grateful for the peace that He brings that will --eventually-- settle my overwhelmed feelings. And I am grateful for His goodness, even when this world makes no sense.

April 2

This week I've been dealing with either allergies or an especially nasty cold --the jury's still out on which it is-- so I feel kind of like I'm walking around underwater, if that makes sense. But there were still things to be done, including Brady's little league make-up photo day and an away game for Isaac.

Playing at Granada is always an experience because their kids are, for the most part, really-really good. And, as Isaac mused on the way home after said-game today, they really-really love baseball.

But the final score notwithstanding, it was a good showing for Isaac, who singled during one of his at-bats and had a huge catch on the right field warning track that ended an inning and prevented several additional runs from crossing the plate. And I could hear him out there in right field throughout the game, too, offering up encouraging words to his teammates.

And best of all, he was chipper on the way home and then during and after dinner, too. Seeing that extra spring in his step is a blessing.

April 1

When Adam and I went to dinner tonight, we were seated in an area that's often forgotten by servers (as we knew from previous experience).

As we waited (and waited), Adam assumed this pose. He froze just like this --smiling at and making eye contact with everyone who passed by-- until our waiter finally appeared.

He can be such a goofball at times. It was one of the (many) things I liked about him when we were young. We don't have nearly as many lighthearted, silly moments as we did back then --mostly because we're busier and older and have more responsibilities than we did as teenagers and twentysomethings-- but I'm always thankful for the moments when they come.

March 31

These two geese were hanging out by the pickup line at Brady's school this afternoon. 

Initially, they were off to the side in the grass, pecking the ground for bugs. At one point they stopped said-pecking, strutted to the crosswalk, went halfway across, and then paused to peck at something else (I'm not sure what) by the speed bump.

I found it greatly amusing that they actually used the crosswalk, since there are more than a few kids and even parents who don't. (I won't go into what I think that means about humanity at-large, but, well, yeah.)

Anyway, the sight made me chuckle, and I am always grateful for lighthearted moments that make me laugh.

March 30

Isaac headed over to church this morning a bit early because he'd agreed to help with the kids' class.

When the service ended, I walked over to the classroom and peered inside the window. And this is what I saw. 

I watched him interact with a few of those precious  littles for a minute and then a moment later, the door opened and Laura --who was the teacher today-- popped her head outside to tell me how good he is with the children.

They love him, she gushed. They just love him.

And I smiled because I know it's true. Kids do love Isaac because he has a way with them that's just so natural and effortless and genuine.

There's a sweetness inherent in his ease with them that makes my heart melt, and I am grateful for that reality.

March 29

Brady had a very early game in the Central Valley this morning. I am not someone who relishes the idea of getting up at 6 AM so I opted to stay home, sleep in, and then attend my Prayer Shawl group meeting.

Isaac seemed bored when I got back to the house, and since he mentioned last week that he a) was short on spring/summer clothes and b) wanted to pick out his own, I suggested we go to Old Navy. And that's what we did. He tried on a plethora of potential duds and came away with a tidy little stack of useful pieces. 

When we rolled into the driveway afterward I snapped a quick pic, partly because I have comparatively few photos with him and partly because I wanted a memento of our shopping trip.

He's a good boy, and I'm grateful to have had some one on one time with him.

March 28

I was just walking through the house like usual this evening when I noticed the sun, enormous and quite red, hovering over the hills. So I bolted outside into the backyard and up the steps to the deck, and when I turned around to face the valley, this is what I saw.

So I guess the big ball of fire doesn't look super large here, but it was still impressive. 

It was chilly out --a far cry from the 80-something high temp of just a few days ago-- but I stood there until the sun completed its descent. 

It was a lovely, calming sight, and I am grateful that I had the chance to witness the show.

March 27

I felt a little bit moody today. Kind of blue, I guess you could say, for no particular reason.

So it was rather nice when, this afternoon while getting the neighbors' mail for them, I spied these vibrant flowers in their yard.

When it comes to the task of combatting the blues, there's nothing quite like a cheery shot of bright yellow.

So I am grateful for the sight.

March 26

Another lovely --but windy-- afternoon, another JV game for Isaac.

I don't have any big story to share today; I'm just grateful for the sunshine and for another chance to watch one of my kids do something they love. I'm very fortunate and even more thankful for all of the good gifts I enjoy -- including the gift of being able to be present for so much of my children's lives.

March 25

My allergy season has officially begun, so I was tired most of today. (My body gets tired of fighting itself.)

As a result, I did the requisite must-do activities and then spent some time working on my current project. It's grown quite a lot over the past few weeks, and I really like it so far.

So for the blessing of being able to take extra down time when I need it, I am thankful.

March 24

It was an absolutely lovely day, with high temps in the 70s, blue skies, and a light breeze that kept the air from feeling stuffy.

Since Isaac had a game this afternoon (which the Dons won 14-1 over American), I decided to get some steps in via a quick stroll around the neighborhood when I got home from the Mother Ship.

As I passed by my across-the-street neighbors' driveway, I stopped to look at this tiny bit of new growth on the branches of a heavily trimmed tree. It served as an important reminder: sometimes, when it seems like challenges and hard times hit over and over again with no relief, we feel like this well-pruned tree. But even well-pruned trees will show signs of life when the circumstances are right.

So if you're feeling overly pruned and challenged of late, take heart, because eventually --when the time is just so-- you'll be fully alive once again.

March 23

I know, another baseball post. But this one's a little bit different.

Isaac (who is the figure to the right of the tee in the photo) volunteered to help with today's Challenger game, and I asked if I could go along to watch. He said sure, so off we went.

The Little League Challenger division is for young people aged four and up who have physical and mental challenges. Students with Isaac's high school baseball program attend the games and act as buddies for the players.

Anyway, I wasn't sure what to expect going in, but it wound up being a really positive experience. I was surprised and heartened to see how many guys showed up to help out; there were so many volunteers, in fact, that Isaac took on a role as a catcher and bat boy instead of a buddy because there weren't enough players to go around. Every time a new player came up to bat, the cheers were plentiful; with each successful hit, that volume increased. In fact, the enthusiasm from both the players and the spectators was absolutely infectious and a celebratory feeling crackled in the air. It felt like the Holy Spirit was present -- really, truly, palpably present. And it was wonderful.

It was an unexpectedly uplifting experience, and I am thankful to have had it.

March 22

Another Saturday, another pair of games. Sort of.

Brady was supposed to be the starting pitcher in his afternoon game, but the other team was short players and the field they were supposed to use was occupied by a very long freshman game, so the "game" transformed into a "scrimmage." And his start became a couple innings of work.

Then this evening, he played in an actual game in Dublin with his juniors team. The clouds parted and the sun actually emerged for at least a little while, so that was pleasant, and I like this photo of Brady during his first at-bat so I'm using it.

I'm tired, but it's a blessing to be able to support my kiddos' interests in a practical way -- by being there.

March 21

I love a good baseball game, and we're definitely in the thick of the season that gives me opportunities to take in more than a few of them.

But honestly, although I do like the game-time action, watching the boys take care of the field following the final out is one of my favorite parts of the whole experience. (And that's Isaac there pouring water on the mound for Alex.) 

Maybe that's a little bit strange, but there's something wonderful about seeing a bunch of young people invest physical effort and energy into keeping their field in good shape. 

It's a blessing to watch them as they work toward becoming responsible adults.

March 20

I don't need reminders of Logan because I think of him multiple times each day. I wonder what he'd be like now at age 18. I wonder if he'd still be a dancer and if he'd look back fondly at his early childhood affinity for all things Mater and Lightning McQueen (or MaTEEN as he gleefully referred to him at age three). 

But I always appreciate those little nods, like when I left the grocery store this morning and found a bright red Corvette parked right next to my car. I saw it there, smiled, and whispered a quiet thank you to God for the sight.

It's a small thing for sure, but it meant a great deal to me.

March 19

It's a surreal experience to look over at your kid and realize "wow, he almost looks like an adult."

I had said-revelation this evening as I drove Isaac home following his game in Danville. As we turned down the street he parks on during the school day so he could retrieve the Explorer, I glanced over at him. He's not feeling 100% so he was sitting back against the headrest with his eyes closed. And suddenly, in that moment, with a few days' stubble on his jawline and the chain Abby gave him for Christmas around his neck, he looked so old; so distinctively not kid-like. (But of course his eyes snapped open and he gave me A Look before I could take a pic, so this is as close as I got.)

It was striking. But it was also a blessing to see him that way, as he was right in that moment because like many moms (I suspect, anyway), I still think of him as... younger. I miss the cute, chunky baby he was way back when, but I adore the young man he's becoming. 

March 18

Originally, the plan for tonight was for me to take Brady to his baseball game in San Ramon at 5, and then Adam would catch the latter part of the action after work (if he could get back in time). But despite sunny skies, recent rains rendered their assigned field unplayable, so the plan changed.

Instead of hitting the diamond, Brady went to Youth Group with Isaac. 

And Adam and I enjoyed our Tuesday night dinner date downtown. 

I don't usually like it much when plans change at the last minute, but this particular alteration was a blessing because we haven't had much one on one time of late. 

So for our yummy dinner and those precious minutes talking about work and kids and life in general, I am grateful.

March 17

I was feeling snackish after dinner and treadmill time so I did as I sometimes do and got myself a small bowl of cereal.

This time, the lucky cereal was Golden Grahams. There were a few others to choose from, but I felt like Golden Grahams.

And they definitely hit the spot. The combination of nostalgia --because I liked them when I was a kid, too!-- and in-the-moment hunger made them a good selection for me.

So today I'm grateful for tasty products that stand the test of time.

March 16

It was a mostly quiet Sunday. Abby headed back to Wheaton this morning, Isaac was worn out from Prom, and Brady was Brady'ing, so Adam and I had the chance to take a walk this afternoon.

It was a windy, overcast day, but it was still nice to get outside and get some exercise. As we returned to our street, we passed by our neighbors' flower garden, and I had to stop to take a photo. This particular neighbor always does a beautiful job with her flowers. They're always colorful and vibrant and they make the street seem happier, somehow.

So today I'm thankful that God created flowers, because they add pure loveliness to this oft not attractive world.

March 15

As nearly impossible as it is for me to fully believe, this afternoon Isaac got dressed up in the new suit and shoes Adam bought him a few weeks ago and headed off to Junior Prom at the Lake Chalet Seafood Bar and Grill in Oakland with some of his friends. (And for clarification purposes, around here "Prom" is for Juniors while "Senior Ball" --which happens in May, shortly before graduation-- is for Seniors.)

As I type this at 11PM, he's already back home. I picked him up from the decidedly frightening and zoo-like high school parking lot a few minutes ago and he was, as he posited via text during the bus ride back, "definitely a lot bit sweaty." He was also hoarse from taking part in not one but four rounds of karaoke (what?!), and his belly was filled with "a lot" of steak and chicken but decidedly less water than the occasion warranted. 

All in all, it sounds like he had a great time.

Despite what he often says about himself, Isaac is a fabulous kid, and I'm so happy that he enjoyed the experience. I'm in denial that he (and Abby -- oh goodness) will graduate in just a year, so I'm trying to relish these rights-of-passage as they come.

So today I'm grateful that he wanted to attend Prom (because it was entirely his decision) and that he had friends to go with and that they were all willing to accommodate my desire for photos before they left. And, of course, that he had a good time and returned safely to the nest after. It's all a big blessing.

March 14

Abby heads back to Wheaton on Sunday morning and Prom is tomorrow for Isaac, so we had our dinner out this evening. Destination: Black Bear.

It was a good outing; the food was as yummy as always and the company was excellent. But it wasn't a perfect experience, per se, and sometimes when I go back and re-read what I've written I wonder if I'm sugar-coating too much. Because, after all, we carry the bits and pieces of our respective days with us and sometimes those bits and pieces clash. Being a Christian doesn't mean that everything is dandy all the time.

But as I sat there munching on my breakfast sandwich, I reflected on how blessed I am. No, life is not perfect. I sometimes butt heads with those who mean the most to me. But underneath the drama and the difficulties, being a Christian does remind me that life is still good, and these people are a big part of why that's the case.

March 13

So they're all on their phones here (placing their dinner orders with Adam), but these three seemed to have a good time hanging out this afternoon after the bros got home from school.

I steered clear of the action in order to give them time to bond, but I overheard plenty from another room. I heard them whooping and laughing as they played Mario Kart (and they so often do). I heard Brady introducing and then evaluating each sing that played on the living room speakers. And sometimes, I heard the sweet melody of them singing along with said-music.

It's a blessing to be able to watch their relationships with one another change and strengthen over time.

March 12

I love watching my kiddos interact. And since Abby is at school for most of the year these days, my opportunities to see her with the boys are significantly more limited than they used to be.

So I relished every moment of Abby and Brady's  morning  goofiness during today's pre-drop off pit stop at the Mother Ship. There were weird close-up photos stealthily snapped and whispered comments back and forth and surprisingly synched chair-dance moves to the sounds of disco music that played in the background. And, of course, a hand-heart.

I am grateful for the ways that they make me smile, and for how their friendship has grown over the years.

March 11

The kid there in the batter's box (Isaac, in case you can't tell) had such a great day.

First off, he found out that he did well on an APUSH test.

And then he played well in his game against Arroyo High in San Lorenzo, earning a walk and a triple (which was his first hit of the season, too). It was the first time I'd seen him triple in... well, I don't remember the last time. (Neither does he.) And his was the third consecutive triple by his team during an especially productive inning.

Even better, I could hear him chirping away in the dugout when he wasn't out in the field, at the plate or on base, encouraging his teammates and just having a good time being out there.

On the way home, after they'd secured the win, he sighed contentedly and said "I love playing baseball." It made my heart happy to see him feeling so content, and I am grateful for that blessing. 

March 10

My brief annual tenure as a Sugar Mama concluded today as Adam joined me at age 47.

He had to work since he's a grown up and all, but I think he had a nice day. His team sent him a silly Happy Birthday video starring Weird Al, and Abby and I brought him a truly enormous Dr Pepper (per his request -- he may never ask me for a really big soda ever again) and a cheesesteak for lunch.

Then this evening, we headed over to Cattlemen's for dinner, and after we finished our food, the servers handed him a cowboy hat (which he plunked down on his own head) and sang a rollicking happy birthday song. He then amused us by refusing to blow out his candle; he ate all around it until it finally fell into the small amount of ice cream that still remained in the bottom of the dish.

Back at home, he opened presents, and then we closed out the festivities with some yellow cake with lemon frosting baked by yours truly.

This guy right here is an exceptional man. I probably don't tell him that nearly as often as I should, but it's the truth. He's intelligent and kind and thoughtful, and he's a great father and husband, too. We all hit the jackpot with him, and I am so thankful to have him as my partner in this life. Happy birthday, hunny! I love you.

March 9

It was a restful Sunday. 

It wasn't initially supposed to be a restful day; the original plan was to go to church en masse, and then book it up to San Ramon so Brady could start a game on the bump for his TVBR team early this afternoon. But the other team wound up short on players so the game didn't happen.

And that meant we all just went home. And then, after a short time and some deliberation between the kiddos, hilarity ensued as they ventured out back to give the famed BearBear a much-needed bath in a bucket. 

Adam's parents dropped by after he'd been soaked and squeezed and left in the sun to dry, and after their visit I made my way to the bedroom, where I put a few more stitches in my recent project and promptly fell asleep. 

And then this evening after dinner, we went to Coldstone per Abby's request, where we enjoyed creative treats such as peanut butter cookie batter with gummy bears (Brady) and cotton candy with Reese's Pieces (Isaac). 

Questionable flavor combinations choices aside, it's good to be together, and I am grateful for the time.

March 8

Thus far this busy weekend, the boys have played and won three games: one for Isaac with the JV Dons yesterday, one for Brady with TVBR this afternoon, and another for Brady with his Little League Juniors team this evening in their season opener against Dublin.

But the best part of all is that the gang's back together for a week! We were all --including Abby, who flew back from Wheaton last night-- able to attend today's games. And it was a lovely blue sky day for baseball.

Having my chicks (or at least the chicks who can be) under my roof again is such a sweet blessing. It makes my mama's heart happy to see them together, so I am grateful for the time.

March 7

Today was the JV home opener, and Isaac batted fifth in the order and started in right field.

Although a freeze-frame replay captured by Adam confirmed that he was erroneously called out at first base to end his first at-bat, he had a good day on the diamond. He caught the first out of the game, walked once, and made solid contact twice (although no official hit just yet). And he stole a base and scored a run, too, on the way to a 5-1 Dons win over (ironically) Logan High. (And yeah, it's very weird to root against kids wearing jerseys emblazoned with just "Logan.")

It was so wonderful to see him out there in the field. I don't know for sure how long he's going to play, but I am grateful for every single chance I get to see him out there doing his thing.

March 6

I don't remember if I've mentioned it before, but I've recently started taking walks while I wait for Brady to get out of school.

And this is what the sky looked like while I made the rounds this afternoon. The culmination of bright blue and white and dark, dark grey gave it an almost chaotic feel. It was, in a word, overwhelming. And awe-inspiring.

But it was also, in its own unique way, kind of beautiful, especially in the areas where the light pierced the darkness. And I am always grateful for beauty, even the kinda sorta unconventional kind.

March 5

When I'm over in Dublin running errands (which most accurately translates to "going to Target and/or JoAnn"), I sometimes stop at Wendy's to get a soda. I always go inside and dispense my own drink because they have a Freestyle machine and I love, love, love Diet Orange Vanilla Coke (or its Zero equivalent). And the machine --which allows you to mix various types of soda with various extra flavors-- has historically been the only way to get it.

So imagine my surprise when I noticed this beauty in the soda fridge at Grocery Outlet this morning. I'm not sure if it's "new" like the label says or if it's just a limited edition product, but I was thrilled to see it. And of course I bought one and sipped at it on and off throughout the afternoon.

A small thing for sure, but an unexpected blessing for me.

March 4

A few years ago (actually it's probably been more than a few) I started scheduling the boys' annual check-ups for the same day. It's kind of weird since they're actually almost exactly two and a half years apart and I typically associate those appointments with birthdays, but it's convenient and it works.

Anyway, today was the day. The brositos were in their usual jovial shared mood in the car and as we settled into the exam room. We got through the appointments in decent time, had my questions addressed, received lollipops from a huge bucket (well, not me, but they did), and hit the road so they could catch the latter halves of their respective school days. And that was that.

It's funny how these experiences have changed over time for me. Back when they were younger, I made a point of noting their stats during their appointments, so I'll jot them down now just because I can --Isaac measured 6' .05", as he's been for a while now, and Brady was 5' 10" on the nose-- but I'll also admit that those numbers seem utterly huge to me (since I topped out at 5' 6.75"). It's strange to think that these two boys who started out so small --Isaac just under 8 pounds, Brady a little over 8, and both less than two feet tall-- are are big as they are now. In fact, standing between them in the elevator, looking at our likenesses on the mirror in front of us, I felt really, really small.

And I kind of liked it, because I'm grateful that they're growing. (And growing and growing.)

March 3

Another day, another amusing dinner at the kitchen table.

Brady had a practice that ran comparatively late into the evening so he joined the rest of us while we were partway through our meals. 

And then the usual entertainment began as these guys launched into their customary brotherly routine, which consists of sassy remarks and much (literal) poking.

I've said this many times, but it's a blessing that these two are good friends.

March 2

Adam and Isaac have watched several of the Fast and the Furious franchise films over the past month or so, and Adam decided that he wanted to continue the trend with a showing of Fast Five over dinner this evening.

I typically excuse myself from watching this type of movie with him because he likes to turn the volume way (way) up, but opted to stick around this go-round (as did Brady, who also has more sensitive hearing). And I'm glad I did, because it was fun to be just doing something together again.

So for the blessing of togetherness with (most of) my people, I am grateful.

March 1

Brady meandered into the kitchen this morning and asked if he could make pancakes. 

Since he'd previously proven himself a competent pancake maker, I said sure.

Then I stood by the counter watching as he mixed the dry ingredients (because we're talking about scratch-made cakes here), measured out the milk, and carefully cracked the egg. (He can still use a little practice with that last bit but eh, cracking eggs can be challenging.)

Then he poured the batter onto the griddle and we watched as the little done-ness indicating bubbles gradually appeared. And then he flipped each one over, plated them when they were done, and repeated the process several times.

By the time he was finished, he had a pretty massive stack to consume. And, to my surprise, he plowed through the entire plate, chit-chatting as he slathered butter on each piece and sent them down the hatch.

I love to watch him be competent. I guess that sounds a little weird, but I was spoon feeding him not all that long ago so the development is indeed notable --and perhaps a bit bittersweet-- to me. It continues to be a blessing to see him grow up.

February 28

It was a game day --opening game day-- so I picked up Isaac at 1:30 and we drove out to Tracy.

I could talk about the game here, but honestly, the best part of the day was that ride. He was in a good mood when he got out to the car, and he chattered on and off the whole time we were on the road as he changed his pants (super impressively done, really) and munched on his chicken sandwich from Mickey D's. He seemed enthusiastic and happy, which is always so, so good to see.

So for that not-small blessing, I am thankful, because peaceful, enjoyable car rides with teenagers are never guaranteed. And because it's always good to see this sweet, thoughtful boy of mine feeling content.

February 27

I've spent quite a bit of time working on this of late.

The complexity of the pattern has held my attention better than most of my projects typically do, so I've kept going. And going and going: at the Mother Ship, while watching TV, in the car waiting for Brady to finish with school or practice.

It's rewarding and gratifying to see the progress, and I am grateful to God for the talent He's given me to create.

February 26

During dinner last night I offhandedly mentioned to Adam that I don't do many coffee dates these days. At one point in my life, they were regular occurrences, but lately, not so much. He pointed out that I have my Starbucks people but I said that didn't really count, since our meet-ups are (almost) never planned (except Terry); we either go or we don't. 

Truthfully, my realization made me kind of sad. 

But then this morning, as I stood at the register waiting for my coffee to brew, one of the monosyllabic older guys (as I call the crew of four that holds court at the same table at the Mother Ship each day) came up behind me and noted that I hadn't been around much last week. Yes, it'd been a busy one, I replied. 

And then as I headed back to my chair a moment later, I realized what had happened: I'd been acknowledged. And I needed that acknowledgement that people actually do notice mt comings and goings. And God made it happen.

February 25

I woke up early this morning and sneezed a few hundred times, so I was pretty tired by the time I got back from running my morning errands.

So I dealt with it by taking a nap in my spot in the family room, and felt decidedly better (and less sneezy) by the time I got up to retrieve Brady from school.

I know that not everyone has the flexibility to just lie low when they're feeling tired or under the weather, so I feel blessed that I do.

February 24

I took a walk while I waited for Brady to get out of school this afternoon. And while I strolled, it was impossible to not notice the sky.

And it made me think.

Human life is multi-dimensional. We experience high-highs and low-lows and everything in between, just like this sky shot with all its variability of light and shade.

And, like this sky shot, it's beautiful in its complexity. And I'm thankful for that truth.

February 23

Brady had his first start of the spring season this afternoon. 

Overall, he pitched well. Adam remarked that he seemed to be throwing harder than last year, and his control was, save one hit batter, solid. He threw three good innings, getting out of a jam along the way, and then started the fourth. And then a defensive meltdown struck that resulted in several runs scoring and him being relieved of the ball (although he never lost control -- I think the coach was probably more concerned that he might eventually lose control and wanted to nip it in the bud).

In the end, they lost the game by a final score of 2-5. (But the team that beat them went on to win the tournament 9-3, so there's that!)

I felt badly for Brady because it seems like he often falls victim to defensive meltdowns, but he handled it really well, and was in a decent mood during the drive home, which was a huge and unexpected blessing.

I'm grateful for his resilience. And I'm grateful that there are more games to come, too, which will no doubt provide more opportunities to practice being both gracious losers and gracious winners.

February 22

It was back to the ballpark for us today to begin the Spring season of play. And by day's end, the TVBR 14s had notched two wins and (hopefully) a good seeding for their next game tomorrow.

It was a beautiful day in Sunnyvale and we didn't need to be there until 1PM, which was awesome since most tournaments have us leaving the house by 7AM. 

Over both games, Brady went 1 for 4 with two walks. The team was a bit rusty defensively, but like I mentioned, they still played well enough to come out with two wins: the first 5-3, the second 10-5.

It was such a blessing to watch them play again. And it was a blessing to reconnect with the other parents, who we hadn't seen since the Fall season. I'm cognizant that this is a brief season in my life, and I am grateful for it, win, lose, or draw.

February 21

Nikki and I took a walk around the mall this morning. During our stroll, I mentioned that Abby has a special affection for Croffles (which is a croissant and waffle hybrid, for the uninitiated), so when we walked by the Croffle shop, she said "oh, you have to take a picture and send it to Abby." So we did just that.

It's a hilarious photo but it goes deeper than that for me, because the croffley-angel wings made me think about faith. (I know that sounds weird. Hang with me for a sec.) 

Lots of non-Christians have this impression that as a Christian, I think I'm perfect. (Or maybe just a better person. I don't need to get too terribly specific because I'm not inside anyone else's head but believe me when I say that I've had personal encounters with a few folks who definitely made this kind of assumption about me.) The entirely unsurprising reality is that I'm definitely not perfect. And I definitely don't intend to walk around with a holier than thou attitude, because I know I'm not holier than anyone. In fact, some days I actually suck at being kind and patient, and I fully own my own shortcomings. 

So what I do realize, as a Christian, is that I cannot do it all myself and that I will never do everything perfectly in this life, no matter how hard I try. That would be a depressing end-game reality, but as a Christian, I also realize that it's okay that I can't do it all. And I realize that I'm not expected to do it all, because Jesus did it for me. And for you, if you accept it. All you have to do is believe that it's true and bam, it'll change your life in ways you'd never expect.

And that may well be the best news that's ever arisen from a photo of a person with Croffle wings.

February 20

We had another "last first" today at our house as Brady visited the orthodontist (who is really just our dentist but, well, distinctions help and all) and got braces.

Abby had them for several years in high school (as what I assume was excessive pacifier use wreaked havoc on her toofers' alignment) and Isaac still has his now (although hopefully, prayerfully, not for much longer because he's pretty tired of them). They both now have lovely smiles to show for the discomfort, so my hope is that Brady will have the same outcome in a few years' time.

So today I'm grateful that we can afford to shell out the big bucks to have his grin fixed. And I'm thankful that he has a good attitude about the whole thing, because Heaven knows that positivity is not always a guarantee with teenagers.

(And another tangentially related blessing? I realized that I'd lost my rather pricey Oura ring --it's a health tracker that I got for my birthday last month-- when I got home from the dentist and taking Brady to school and Starbucks. After I panicked for a minute, I scoured the house and the car and no ring. Then I went back to Starbucks, where I asked if someone had turned it in (nope) and then scoured the trash cans, meaning I felt the bottoms to see if I could make out a ring inside. No dice there, either. Then I went to the dentist's office, and the second I walked inside and asked if someone had found a rather large silver ring, the receptionist's eyes widened in recognition and exclaimed "yes!" and then pulled it out of a drawer. I'd prayed that I'd be able to find it, and I was so thankful that God answered my request as He did.)

February 19

Sometimes I pretend that I'm not a schedule person; that I like to be adventurous and veer off-course because the notion of being free like that seems so cool. But then I remember how much deep satisfaction I get from routines and realize that I am, indeed, a schedule person.

Take today, for example. Right now, Brady has practice on Wednesday afternoons shortly after school. The season is still young, but I've already become accustomed to my routine of driving him over to the facility, dropping him off, hitting Wendy's for a Diet Cherry (or Orange... I DO like to mix that one up a bit) Vanilla Coke, strolling through Target, and then returning to the parking lot at the facility. I spend the rest of my time alternately watching him throw (when I can actually see him; usually I cannot) and working on my crochet work-in-progress.

It's such a relaxing and comforting experience that it's almost ridiculous. But it's also a blessing, so I will happily embrace the schedule and enjoy it while I can.

February 18

Adam and I decided a number of years ago that we'd choose a date other than February 14 to have our Valentine's Day dinners. (Too many people out and all that.) Since the brositos had Youth Group this evening, this year's outing took place tonight.

So we dropped them (and Jackson) off and headed downtown to Haps, where we enjoyed way too much good food. We also talked about the kids and his job, and we even took a stroll down memory lane when, for reasons I can't quite remember right now, he recalled a night during our college days when we drove to the beach with some good friends. We both remembered that our friend David brought along a cake that wound up falling victim to the ocean, but we didn't remember the whys. Despite the holes in the story, we laughed over the fragmented memory. And on a whim (and probably thanks to the effects of my glass of champagne), I texted said-friend for details (which he later provided, which was pretty cool since we hadn't talked with him in years).

It's a good life with my hunny, and I am grateful for the years we've shared.

February 17

Since the boys didn't have school today and Brady was a bit under the weather, he opted out of baseball practice and hung around the house all day long.

At one point late this morning, after I'd returned with his Starbucks order (which I honored since he rarely asks for anything), he decided to get out his Geometry book so he could get ahead on homework.

I said a few days ago that I'm proud of Isaac for prioritizing his studies, and I'm proud of Brady for the same reason. It's a blessing to have access to good education, and a bigger one to be invested in making something come of that education.

February 16

This is actually an interaction I had with a friend yesterday, but it kept coming to mind today, so I figured I'd share it now.

I got a text from said-friend earlier this weekend. She was struggling with the second anniversary of the loss of her sister, and was looking for support and validation of her feelings. I quickly responded with affirmation, but felt like I needed to do more. So on a whim, I looked up my blog entry from the second anniversary of Logan's passing, and I was surprised by what I read.

In short, my experience was virtually the same as what she'd described to me in her initial text. So I copied the entry and sent it on to her as further proof that her emotions are hard but normal.

I know that me looking back at my old entry in an attempt to relate to and support my friend was entirely God. And I am so thankful that He prompted me to act, because supporting those we care for is a blessing to both the care-e and the care-r. And it's also a big blessing to ME to know that my personal pain wasn't pointless.