April 19

We've been very slowly moving our life from our old house to the new one, and today Adam and I took on one task that I think we'd both been avoiding: sorting through the boys' --including Logan's-- old clothes.

It was an emotional experience seeing all of those little outfits that were part of his "usual rotation" -- the soft, terrycloth baseball pajamas; the little blue Mickey Mouse one-piece that he wore to Disneyland; the Santa Suit he donned at four months old when we celebrated his first Christmas with Adam's family. And of course, the Lightning McQueen shirts; there were lots and lots of those. And we opted to keep most of them because letting them go felt impossible.

But it was a specific tank top that cut into Adam's memory the most and forced us to pause for a few minutes. I'm not great in those moments because at times it feels like I can't handle his emotion in addition to my own, but I hugged him anyway, and we stood there in front of the garage at the old house for a minute just sharing the pain.

No one wants to endure those deeply painful moments, but most of us suffer them anyway because they're part of living in this broken world. But it's a blessing when God gives us people who walk with us through those moments, so tonight, I'm grateful that we've always had each other.