April 30

I didn't have a big, decisive 'aha' moment today. In fact, I'd say I only have moments like that once or twice a week. Most of the time, I sit down during the evening hours and scroll through the images taken on that particular day, searching for one that speaks to me. Fortunately, one always jumps out... eventually. With that said, here's today's pick...

The Little Boys, standing in our front yard waiting for Adam's mom to arrive to take Brady for the night.

On the surface, there's nothing especially great about the image. In fact, with Isaac squinting and grabbing Brady and Brady trying to escape, it's kind of lousy from a composition-standpoint.

But it's not always about what's in the foreground, right? Nope, sometimes life is about the details in the background that might otherwise fade into obscurity. And in the background of this image is a beautiful plot of green grass, flowering bushes and our home (okay, so it's our neighbor's house. But ours looks pretty much the same!). A trio of beautiful blessings that I often overlook.

April 29

I watered the flowers on Logan's grave this morning. It's been H-O-T here and the weather trend is supposed to continue all week, so I wanted to make sure we got off to the right start. As I was leaving, I off-handedly told Logan that I was going to the store. And that it would be so nice to find a new Pixar Car. Just to provide some context, when he was hospitalized, I spent a lot of timing combing area Targets (and Walmarts and Kmarts) for those little die-cast cars with faces. He loved them and they made him smile. I still pick them up now when I see them, since the Little Boys like them, too, but it'd been a while since I'd been able to get my hands on new ones, even though plenty have been released. (Thanks to re-sellers. Who, if I may be so blunt, suck.) Anyway, then I left.

And when Brady and I hit the Cars aisle, I found one! And another.... and another. When we headed off to find the next item on our list (which happened to be carpet cleaner, if you were wondering) my cart looked like this:

In all, I found five. Pretty awesome, since I only asked for A car. :)

As I've noted a few times in the past, some days, those trivial little things mean an awful lot.

April 28

Really easy one today. Just a reminder to all of you moms and dads and other Big People who feel obligated to carry heavy burdens on your own 24/7:

Even Captain America needs someone else to take over every now and then.

So when it's all just too much, allow yourself to be carried for a while.

April 27

I'm not entirely sure, but I think this may, in an objective sense, be the ugliest photo I've used so far.

It's precisely what it looks like: a series of cracks in the pavement of a local street. So what on God's green earth prompted me to take its picture?

I had a really simple thought. Let's say your life is just like the perfectly smooth, unblemished street -- like the street in the photo looked when it was new. But one day, the ground shifts a little and you crack; a bad thing happens that shakes your faith or your perception of life and reality. And it changes you. Let's say that happens multiple times until you look kind of like the image above: still identifiable as you, but changed. (I know, I'm weird. Stay with me; I promise there's a point!)

Then let's say that like in the picture above, new life begins to grow inside those gaping cracks. You don't look perfect and smooth like you once did, but the holes, the blemishes, are filled in with something even prettier than asphalt -- they're filled with life! It's kind of like what happens when God comes into your life and fills in the holes made by people and circumstances that've hurt you in the past. That's pretty awesome, isn't it? I thought so.

And yes, I did indeed come up with that entire treatise just by looking at that ugly old image. See: you can indeed find God anywhere. If you look.

April 26

I've felt kind of low lately. I don't really know why; I just have. And do. I saw these little yellow flowers this morning. Since they were absolutely nothing like the others in the area, I felt compelled to take their picture, sure that a message for me rested somewhere within their buttery petals.

As I downloaded the image from my phone a few minutes ago, I saw it. Yes, the three little yellow flowers are most prominent. But just behind them is a sweet, delicate purple bloom, too. And suddenly, I saw the image as a representation of my family; my three little boys and a my beautiful little girl. And it finally made sense. They may not be together anymore on this earth, but they're still a little group. They're still clustered together in a way that transcends our limited human understanding.

And, despite my generally melancholic mood, it made me smile. Just a bit.

April 25

Today was a stressful one. Not bad, per se, just lots of activity: a park playdate, a few shopping stops, a doctor's appointment. And lots and lots (and lots) of kid-bickering. And for me, there are few things more exhausting than incessant kid-bickering.

That's why it was nice to go out and grab a quick dinner at Arby's after Adam got home this evening. We piled into the car, rode through the drive thru, and came back home to watch a few episodes of the universally loved Phineas and Ferb.

And as an added bonus, Logan loved Arby's, so though we don't go there often, it's always a nice little shot of nostalgia when we do.

April 24

While Abby and Isaac played with their friends Kole and Jake and I chatted it up with their mom Michelle after school today, Brady sat patiently in the stroller. At one point, I looked down at him. He gazed back up at me and said cheeeeese!. So I took this picture:

There's nothing better than the little cheesers who so effortlessly brighten what's often a dark and tiresome world.