October 7

Once upon a time, I was worried about how Isaac would deal with being in school. Would the kids like him? Would he fit in? Would he be happy? Would his speech issues hold him back? And then things like this started happening...

...and those long-held concerns just melted away. Shortly after he got in line at school this morning, a few of his classmates arrived and they started playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

And it's not an uncommon kind of occurrence for Isaac. He's sweet and kind and funny and the other kids seem to like him; even the ones who aren't his good buddies want to play with him at the park. Even the girls say hi and talk to him.

It's a blessing to see him thriving. I should've had faith about it all along, but it just goes to show that not only will God shine through despite our insecurities, He'll also do immeasurably more than we might expect.

October 6

Our water heater decided to bite the dust today. Fortunately for us, ours lives in the garage. Unfortunately, it looks like it leaked for a few days before it finally really let loose with its flood-y good(bad?)ness. But even in times of frustration, God still finds a way to shine through.

That is indeed a run-of-the-mill floor fan. After I asked via Facebook if any locals happened to have a fan I could borrow, my friend Laura piped up that she'd bring by not just one but two fans and a pizza. And that's just what she did. And you know something? The kids snarfed up the pizza, and the fans are busily working to dry out the concrete before tomorrow morning, when the repair person is scheduled to come by to assess the damage (and hopefully replace the unit so I can turn the water back on!).

People can often be disappointing, but they can also be awesome. And today, I'm thankful for awesome people.

October 5

Today's wink was so fleeting that had I blinked, it could easily have passed by unnoticed.

After church, we took our usual trip to the cemetery to water the flowers. When we arrived, I was startled to see that at long last, Logan's marker had been placed. Adam and I dragged our feet approving the design; after all, how can you ever make that kind of decision? How can you choose just a few words to memorialize your child? As I looked at it, I wondered if he would approve. What would he think of the race car and the little boy cuddling the lamb? Would he like the barely blue shade of grey when we'd hoped it would be a truer blue? And the font -- would he like it or find it too dull? As we got into the car to leave, I continued privately considering those concerns.

As we drove away and rounded the top of the hill, I glanced up and saw a tiny blue butterfly fluttering just outside my window. It seemed to linger for a moment, and then it was gone.

And then oddly, just a moment later, Adam laughed and exclaimed "well that was strange." I asked what he was talking about. And he said he'd seen a little butterfly fluttering outside his window. I quickly asked if it was blue; no, he thought it was more gray than blue. But still: the grey stone that was supposed to be blue and the lingering little bluish grey butterfly that both of us noticed at just the perfect moment.

Surely it meant something. If nothing else, I think it meant that Logan approved of his memorial. And that he's free to fly with the wind.

October 4

I had a "wow" moment this afternoon.

Brady and I happened to be walking behind Abby, Adam, and Isaac after lunch, when quite out of nowhere, I noticed that the top of Abby's head meets Adam's shoulder.

She's always been taller than the average bear, but it was startling to see her standing next to Adam and to realize how big she actually is. She's still a month shy of 10 years old and she's already so tall and beautiful.

It's a good thing.

October 3

Adam and I rarely have two-on-one time with any of the kiddos. But this afternoon, we picked up Brady from preschool and took him out to lunch.

So, he didn't really eat much of his food --I think he filled up during snack time at school-- but it was nice to just sit with him at the table and listen to him talk for a little while about his class and his friends.

The way kids think is truly remarkable: so simple but so profound. It's a blessing to be able to sit and really listen to what they have to say.

October 2

Regardless of whether my feelings are valid, lately, I've had the sense that people are starting to forget about Logan. He is, of course, always on my mind, but the idea of him fading into obscurity in general is upsetting, since to really know me, you have to know about him.

So this morning, I decided to play Farmville for a few minutes. It was one of his favorite games; he had a special affinity for those animated sheep and for harvesting his little colorful crops. I tried out a new feature that allowed me to trade gems for special prizes, and was giddy to be awarded this little cutie:

A "sunshine and rainbow sheep." It was just so perfect that I almost laughed when I saw it.

I guess Logan still likes his tiny animated sheep. Now I just need to find the perfect spot for this sweet sheepie on my farm.

October 1

I love how my babies take care of their babies.

When we drove over to the school to pick up Abby and Isaac today, Brady asked if he could bring his friends Bear Bear and Beggar along. I've posted about Bear Bear before --he was Logan's Christmas gift to Brady in 2011-- and my grandma gave him Beggar --who was previously named Little Beggar-- last year when we were visiting her. She'd had Little Beggar sitting on a chest beside her bedroom window for at least 25 years, so suffice it to say that those two little loveys are quite meaningful.

Anyway, as we were getting out of the car, he sweetly sat them in his car seat along with his pacifier so they'd be safe. Watching him care for his friends makes my heart smile every time.