May 7

When this lovely told me a few days ago that she might be able to come visit, I was cautiously optimistic. We've had a few failed attempts since the last time we got together almost 18 months ago, so I didn't want to get TOO excited. But when she told me yesterday that it was a go after all, I was delighted.

Although Taylor and I have kept in touch via text and the occasional phone call since she moved to Napa a few years ago, it was so wonderful to be able to see her in person and to be able to hug her again because she is, well, wonderful.

And it was wonderful to simply share space with her again --even if it was for just a relatively short time-- because being in physical proximity to my friends and being able to look into their eyes and (for lack of a better term) feel their energy are life-affirming blessings to me.

May 6

I can't remember exactly how it came up, but Abby and I were talking about creme brulee after dinner a few days ago. She said something about its "cheesecake" texture and I said "oh no no, we'll have to have some sometime because it's custard but still way more like flan than cheesecake." 

And courtesy of an evening run to Costco --which just happened to have creme brulee on a endcap that I just happened to notice as we were cruising the refrigerated aisles-- tonight was the night.

We don't actually own a kitchen torch (darn it, but hey, Mother's Day is coming) so we used the oven broiler instead. Though I've had better creme brulees in the past, I liked this one because I got to share the experience with my favorite girl (who, for the record, conceded that it mostly definitely is NOT cheesecake'y stuff).

May 5

I got up late this morning (since Wednesday is Joke Day, as we've taken to calling it at our house -- no in-person school and not really any online school, either). I had my coffee, checked my email, sent off a few texts, and then puttered into the backyard to water my tomato and pepper plants. While I was there, I decided to make use of one of the packs of peat pots I bought last week and sowed some more green beans and bell peppers.

Then I went inside and watered the bean seedlings in my kitchen window. (Those are the lovelies on the left. The littlest pot will hopefully be a strawberry plant at some point, and I am totally excited about that particular prospect because we love strawberries around here.) And then I swept the kitchen and decided the first floor bathroom could use a cleaning, so I did that too. As I was putting away the mop, I saw an expired ad for JoAnn on the built-in desk in the kitchen, so I threw it out and then decided that I'd probably just neaten the entire space. So I did that, too. Then I went to take a shower but before I got to our bathroom, I decided that I was tired of looking at the piles of photos and unfinished photo albums on our bedroom floor so I plunked down and finished putting them together. And then from my perch on the floor, I spotted dust on the dresser, so I dusted... and on it went.

I don't often feel motivated to clean like a whirling dervish, but when I do, it's always a good thing. So for that burst of motivation, I am grateful.

May 4

I glanced to the side during Brady's game tonight (a win for the A's, for the record) and saw Isaac and Adam standing together watching the action from behind the backstop.

And I had a wow-moment. Obviously I know that Isaac has grown --a lot-- over the past year. And I know that's he's a little more than a month away from becoming an official teenager and that yet more rapid growth is coming down the pipes any time now. 

But it still surprised me to see him standing so tall next to Adam. And it surprised me to see how they'd assumed the same arm positioning and how somehow, they looked more like two men than a man and a boy. And truthfully, it made me a wee bit sad, because for the first time, I couldn't really see the space between them where Logan --the oldest brother, the should-be biggest brother-- would fit if he were still with us.

Still, I am thankful, because I am always grateful that my children who are still here with me are continuing to grow and thrive.

May 3

I only realized it just now, but today Abby is exactly 16 1/2. So happy half-birthday to my favorite daughter!

Coincidentally (if I believed in coincidences, which I don't), I was already planning to post something about her.

After she got home from school today, she went upstairs to her room. And a short time later, this appeared on her Facebook timeline.

I have no idea what prompted the message, but I was so, so happy to see it. To know that my girl has faith and that she's not afraid to say so means so much to me.

May 2

I got my first dose of the COVID vaccine (Pfizer, if you're detail-oriented) on Friday and felt just fine for 36 hours. And then both shoes dropped at once. I woke up in the very wee hours of the morning with a very upset stomach and nausea. When I finally decided to get up for some water, I made it into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl just in time for... well, You Know. You Know continued on repeat for several minutes until my throat burned. And then I went back to bed.

And I spent the entirety of today either in bed or on the couch in the family room trying to sleep and/or ignore the nausea. In sum, it has not been my favorite Sunday.

But what made it okay was my hunny. When he heard me gakking in the kitchen, he hi-tailed it half-awake to see what was going on. When I wandered into the bathroom to try to clean myself off, he took charge of cleaning the bowl and the counter. He checked in on me throughout the day and gave me whatever I asked for (which was really just soda, water, and some rice, but those small things mean a lot when you don't have the energy to move). 

So although I'm admittedly annoyed about having a reaction to a vaccine I only took to protect other people, I'm grateful for the reminder that I married one of the best men out there. :) And THAT is a huge blessing.

May 1

Oh, baseball.

Only Brady had a game today because Isaac's was postponed due to a COVID case involving the other team. But the AAA A's v. Giants match-up provided multiple games' worth of drama.

The Giants posted a 5-spot in the top of the first thanks to a spate of defensive miscues by Brady's squad. They could've just hung their heads and mentally checked out for the remaining frames, but that's not what they did. Mirroring Isaac's team's effort earlier in the week, the defense got their act together, and the offense got down to business. They scratched out their first run in the bottom of the third and then added a second an inning later, and entering the bottom of the sixth and last frame, they trailed 6-2.

The leadoff batter singled, and then Brady followed suit by dropping a line drive of his own into the outfield that scored the run. The next two batters struck out, but with just a single out remaining, the improbable happened: after a dizzying mish-mash of errors and miscues, the score was tied 6-6 with the winning run on third. And then before we could even take a breath on the stands, a ball got away from the catcher, and that little runner on third was booking it toward home plate, where he was called safe. And that was it.

We screamed and yelled and whooped and hollered like crazy people (or maybe just overly enthused parents who were so, so proud to see our little boys fight like the dickens to get a win) in the bleachers. I'm still a little hoarse now, even hours later. As far as Little League baseball games go, it was epic.

But it was so, so wonderful. It was wonderful to see our littles' tenacity and to continue bonding with my fellow baseball parents over our shared experience. And more than that, it was so, so wonderful to be reminded yet again that even when situations look bleak and you can't imagine how they could possibly improve, anything is still possible. That the seemingly lifeless can once again teem with vitality. And for that reminder, I am very grateful.