May 15

Today was dedicated to visiting friends, both mine and Abby's.

Following the usual morning coffee stop, we embarked upon the journey to Lovettsville, Virginia, where Abby's friend Anna and her family live. It rained on and off so the weather could've been better, but it was a pretty drive through green rolling hills. The hardest part of the trip was navigating the long, partially paved, one-lane stretch of road that leads to her house, but we finally sorted it out and had a great time munching on chicken salad sandwiches while we chatted with Anna, her mom, and her sister (and even her brother for a minute). And the giant white rental car is now caked with dirt from the adventure, and a crusty-looking rental car always means a good time was had, right? Right.

From there, we headed east on I-70 to join my middle school friends for dinner at Lib's Grill in Columbia, where we've met up several times before. It was --as it always is-- a total hoot, and it was an extra blessing to invite Sonia to the ranks for the first time, too. Our little group has gotten larger over the years, and I'm so thankful for the continued friendship we all share and for how easy it is to be together. We laugh and talk about both the lighter and less lighter sides of life and then we laugh some more. It's truly good for my heart and I enjoy every second.

When we got back to grandma's house, I spent more time going through photos, and found a few more sweet ones from days gone by. It's bittersweet to remember, but I'd say the sweet is much stronger than the bitter, and I'm grateful for that.

So that's today. I'm pretty tired from all the driving, but I feel content. And that's a blessing I don't take for granted.

May 14

It was a rainy Tuesday in Maryland, but Abby and I made the best of it.

Thanks to the calming effects of Benadryl, my alarm clock, and a smattering of willpower (but mostly the alarm clock), I managed to get up a bit earlier than yesterday, and found Abby dressed and ready to get moving when I cracked open my bedroom door.

Our first stop was Dunkin for some (duh) donuts. She opted for the double chocolate cake variety, while I was drawn in by the promise of Oriole magic with my cream-filled orange and black selection. (When in Rome, after all.) Then we washed down the sugar with some coffee from the Mother Ship. (Well, I did. Abby went with the less caffeinated "water" option.)

From there, I confirmed with my dad that he was up for a visit, so we drove to his post office up in Rocky Ridge. (Locals, if you don't know where that is, it's cool. I didn't, either.) We had a nice time sitting and talking for a while, and I even managed to find the one elusive puzzle piece that he needed to complete the picture he'd been working on. On our way back out of town, we stopped by the Loys Station Covered Bridge (since we visited the nearby Utica Covered Bridge last summer while we were here). Abby wasn't thrilled about this side trip since a) she was wearing a skirt and tank and b) it was raining, but I was undeterred and even skipped back to the car after we'd captured our snaps. (There's video.) Since the lunch hour had long since passed by then, I navigated us to Arby's so she could have more roast beef, and then we returned to grandma's house to continue working on the photo boards for this weekend. Then a little later we grabbed bowls at Chipotle, where we spied a policeman who looked strangely like my brother Bobby noshing away at his own dinner.

It's still weird to be here without grandma, but it's been fun to go through her photos. She has book upon book and box upon box of them, and it's so cool to see some of our family's history laid out frame by frame. It's a gift to me, and I am grateful for it.

May 13

Our first full day in Maryland was a good one. I got up far, far later than intended, mostly because all of the cute little Maryland allergens saw me and squealed "she's back!" and my body helped out by grossly overreacting to the enthusiastic invaders' presence. (In plain, non-colorful terms, I was very congested, which made it hard to sleep.)

But I heard the call of the Mother Ship, so after we admired the gorgeous pink flowers in front of the house, Abby and I headed out in our giant rental SUV for some late-morning caffeinated libations. From there we enjoyed some ice cream at Jimmie Cone --chocolate jimmies on chocolate and vanilla for me, New York cheesecake for her-- before driving to Target to pick up make-up remover. (And to look at Cars with Faces. And yes, I did find some new ones! It was thrilling.) By then the lunch hour was upon us and Abby had a hankering for roast beef, so we settled on Roy Rogers before heading back to the house to meet my mom. 

Yesterday was Mother's Day, of course, but today also happened to be my mom's 78th birthday, so we gave her the presents we'd brought along. I was particularly satisfied when she cackled over the singing cats birthday card I picked out; certain members of my family who shall remain nameless didn't believe she'd appreciate it, but I knew she would and it's so nice to be right now and again. Anyway, from there we went to the Cheesecake Factory to continue the birthday celebration, and then we joined her at her choir rehearsal, where she introduced us to many of her friends. More than once, a person I'd never met before approached me and said "I know who your mother is! You look just like her!" And they did indeed know. It was like my childhood all over again. It was quite pleasant sitting there listening to them sing a handful of worship songs --some I knew and some I didn't-- and it was especially sweet when they had mom stand up so they could sing Happy Birthday. She's blessed with a great group of compadres in them and I'm grateful for that.

We finished off our day by beginning the very long process of going through grandma's pictures so we can create memory boards for her memorial service this weekend. I hadn't realized it before, but my grandma kept every card that was sent to her and has literally thousands of photos --most of them labeled-- of friends and family and her gardens. It's proving to be a huge undertaking, but it was so much fun to show Abby photos of not just her great grandmother during her younger years, but of her great great grandmother and her great great great grandmother as well. The history in those boxes is mind-blowing to me, and I'm thankful to have access to it.

So yes, it was a good day. And a full day. And I am thankful for the time with two of the most amazing women in my life. 

May 12

I began today with a cinnamon roll, orange juice, coffee, and presents (including a flower arrangement made by Isaac) all served in bed for Mother's Day and am finishing it 3,000 miles away in the bedroom that was once my own at my grandparents' house in Maryland. 

Contrasting the two scenes creates a strange juxtaposition in my mind, as the reason for the trip is my grandma's memorial service this coming weekend, and my grandma was a strong mother-figure for me. It is, as I've discovered over the course of the past hour, very odd to be here without her. But here I --and Abby, and later, the boys-- am.

Strangeness aside, it was a nice day, as far as travel days go. I'm grateful for the chance to celebrate --if only a little-- with my own children and husband at home. And I'm grateful for a relatively uneventful flight. I did panic for a few moments when the guy seated next to me threw up as soon as the plane lifted off the ground (because there always has to be something) but he assured me he suffers from motion sickness and bemoaned having forgotten his Dramamine. I'm also grateful that my checked bag came out in good time and that I was able to safely navigate our enormous rental SUV to the house with my trusty co-pilot's guidance. And I'm grateful that even though it was after midnight when we rolled in, my mom was waiting to let us in. So we wished her happy belated Mother's Day and a happy birthday and then off she went.

And now... now I'm just alone with my thoughts, remembering sweet slices of time spent with my grandma in this house. And I'm feeling grateful for the strong women who God placed in my life.

May 11

Another Saturday, another set of games for Brady.

They weren't his best games ever, but what I appreciated --and what I told him I was proud of after the fact-- was how he let the troubles he had in game one roll off his back. He didn't get upset or frustrated (at least not overtly) and he kept a positive attitude. He even grinned and flashed us a thumbs up as he trotted out to the mound to pitch during the latter part of game two.

So much of this life is determined by attitude, so I'm grateful that Brady had a good one today. 

May 10

After taking in numerous beautiful photos of the Northern Lights from my friends around the country this evening, I decided I'd go out back a few minutes ago and have a look at what I could see from here.

When I first got up to the deck and surveyed the sky, I was disappointed that I didn't see any of those amazing greens and pinks. It's the sight I'd hoped to see, after all.

But then I focused on what I could see: a huge moon whose brightness was so intense that it belied its crescent phase, and a sea of tiny but brilliantly illuminated stars. Absence of color aside, it was stunning.

And it was also a nice reminder that even when we don't get what we hope for, what we do get can be pretty remarkable as long as we don't get lost in disappointment.

May 9

The boys have played baseball for many years now, but they've never been on the same team until now. For the next month and a half, they will both be part of the TVBR Royals.

Today was the first practice they were both able to attend so of course I had them pose for me before we headed out to the field. 

It's always fun to watch them play, but it's also a challenge since they're typically playing in different cities at the same time. So it's a blessing that they'll be sharing a dugout, even if it's just for a short time.

May 8

Today Abby joined Brady and I for our customary Wednesday morning Mother Ship stop-in.

Brady snagged my usual seat (with a big grin) and the two of them took a series of silly selfies while I chit-chatted with Terry and a few of the Usuals.

It was, in short, a very pleasant, very comfortable trip. And I am grateful for the experience and for the people who shared it with me.

May 7

I'm in the throes of a seasonal allergy attack so I'll keep this brief.

Brady had a game tonight (which was the source of said allergy attack -- it was windy and I'm sure the pollen was swirling around like little dervishes). It was, all in all, a not-awesome outing for him; he got a hit, but he also struck out and struggled on the mound for the first time in a long, long while.

But I'm okay with all of that. And I know he will be, too -- eventually. I'm grateful for the tougher games because they make the good ones feel even better. And because they push us to do better and try harder next time.

May 6

I had the joy of spending time with two of my favorite women today:

I had coffee with Abby at the Mother Ship this morning, followed by jaunts through Walmart and Target. (And Dick's, but she's not really into sporting goods so it doesn't count.)

And then this evening, I had my slightly delayed birthday dinner with Nikki at Locanta Amalfi downtown. The limoncello spritzer was veeery strong, but the gnocchi was good and the company better, so it was a good time all in all.

Good friends (and good daughter) are hard to find, so I am grateful for these two lovelies.

May 5

It took a few days, but we finally had our "yay, you're back in California" slash "congrats on finishing the school year" dinner for Abby at CPK this evening.

The prevailing mood was a positive one and there was plenty of banter as we waited for and then consumed our meals.

As I lingered over my wild mushroom pizza and watched the kiddos interact, I realized how at ease they are with one another and how happy they are when they're together. 

There are snippy exchanges at times, of course, and I fully expect them, but all in all, they love one another. And for that, I am so grateful. 

May 4

It was supposed to be another baseball-rich Saturday for us, but a (very odd) early May storm washed out all of the games on the schedule. So instead, we hung around the house and chilled.

Some of us watched the Greta Gerwig version of "Little Women" during the early afternoon hours. Some of us played video games. Some of us went into our room and fell asleep while watching true crime. (Me. That last one would be me.)

After dinner, we all sat around the kitchen table where Isaac taught us a new card game. 

And, of course, there was sibling bonding time, as suggested by the photo. It's such a blessing to have them (and their animal pals) under our roof once again. More chaotic, yes, but infinitely sweeter because in a way, they're really only fully themselves when they're together.

May 3

Abby had a long day of traveling. It featured multiple flight delays that necessitated an itinerary change and triggered some stress as well as a few last-second plan changes, but the important thing as midnight draws near is that my eldest chick is back in the nest for summer.

And for that --for the ability to snap photos of these three together, in-person, and for the laughter that I know is to come-- I am very grateful. The picture is not complete without Logan, of course, but it's very, very good nonetheless.

May 2

When I left the Mother Ship this morning I had every intention of going home, but I didn't. As I started the car, I felt like I should go to the Livermore Target. I didn't really want to go so the thought rather annoyed me, but I had the time and I felt like I should, so off I went.

And I'm glad I did because when I got there, I found some new Cars with Faces! I guess it's kind of silly that I still look for these, but they remind me of my sweet Logan. And every time I find one I don't already have, I can see his face and hear his little voice, just as it was 12 years ago, gleefully exclaiming "new cars!"

So for the sweet connection to what was and all of the memories I hold dear, I am grateful.

May 1

I think it's human nature to be mad when we don't get what we think we deserve. When the big promotion goes to someone who hasn't been at the company as long as you have or when momentum in the game abruptly shifts in the final inning and your team unexpectedly snatches defeat from the jaws of victory, it can be hard to swallow the residual disappointment and frustration. It's hard to not get what we feel we've earned.

But sometimes, it's important to be grateful when we don't get what we deserve.

After I dropped this guy off at school, I decided to drive over to Dublin to see if the Target had any new Cars with Faces. (They did not.) Since I had time, I headed over to Walmart to look there as well (spoiler alert: again, no dice) so I navigated to Dublin Boulevard. Which is known to be a favorite for ticket-giving motorcycle cops. (See where I'm going?)

Now I wasn't going really fast; I was in the right lane and the car ahead of me was definitely going faster. But I saw the two policemen on the bikes pointing their speed guns in my direction and I knew it was too late to do anything. My fate was sealed. So I held my breath.

I watched and cringed a little as the first chopper pulled out behind the car in front of me and turned on its lights. I continued holding that breath. Then the second pulled out behind the car behind me and turned on its lights. So the cars in front of and behind me were pulled over. But me? I was not. 

I continued on (driving right at the speed limit), feeling a deep sense of gratitude that somehow, this time, I hadn't gotten what I probably deserved. For that, I am grateful. And I am also grateful for the reminder that it's not always awesome to get what I deserve, and that although God knows my wants and desires and preferences, He ultimately knows what's best for me.