September 30

Brady came downstairs this morning and announced that he needed to fix Bob. Initially I wasn't sure who Bob was (I'm sort of surrounded by Bob/Bobby/Robert/Rob/Robbie-types) but then a few minutes later he skittered back up the stairs to his room and reappeared with his old robot. (THAT Bob.)

He cut up an empty granola bar box, drew a face on it, attached new arms, and then voila, Bob was restored. And then he took a picture of it and added said image to a Google slide for school. Badda-bing, badda-boom.

This is what distance learning looked like today. It's definitely not a perfect system and there's definitely at least one procrastinator in our house, but all in all, I'm grateful for how well my kiddos are handling the challenge. Given some of the experiences some of my friends have had thus far, I know full well that I am extremely blessed.

September 29

I went outside this evening to plant some fall beans. (I'm a wee bit late, but feel emboldened by my recent victory over the aphid colony that wiped out most of my previous crop.) When I came back inside, I heard the unmistakable sounds of BearBear and Cheesy's banter emanating from the living room, so I went to investigate.

Sure enough, I discovered BearBear (voiced by Abby) and Cheesy (who is BearBear's estranged and rather sociopathic daughter, brought to life by Adam) engaged in conversation. I have no clue what they were talking about (and trying to figure it out sometimes gives me a headache), but I smiled at the sight of the two of them --my husband and my only daughter-- enjoying the interaction. 

Because seeing my people --my family-people and my friend-people-- enjoy happy moments is such a big blessing.

September 28

I am so, so glad that I decided I wanted to learn to crochet. 

I'm currently working on a number of different projects; when I get tired of one of them, I just switch to another. This one is a scarf I'm making for myself using a waffle weave stitch (which is my current favorite!); the others are things I'm making for other people. I love that there are so many different stitches to try out and so many different types and colors of yarn available. It's become my norm to crochet while I watch TV at night. And I love it.

Beyond that, I'm thankful that I didn't just give up for good when it took me longer than I would've liked to figure out the basics. Perseverance can be hard, but it can also lead to wonderful breakthroughs and rewards.

September 27

Both of my parents are exceptionally talented when it comes to fine arts. Cross stitch, rug hooking, embroidery, smocking, knitting, woodworking, sewing... between the two of them, they can pretty much do it all. I joked for a while that it must skip a generation because I've historically had neither the patience nor the desire to create in that kind of way (though I admit that I do love to crochet). Anyway, if there is indeed a gene, Abby proved this weekend --once and for all-- that she has it.

She saw a dress she liked on YouTube --a personality she follows was either just wearing it or created it; I'm not clear on the precise details-- so she decided she was going to make her own version. I was, honestly, a little skeptical as we went to Joann's so she could buy fabric (twice, actually, since she discovered she'd need more than she'd initially thought) because she was making it WITHOUT A PATTERN (and yes, that's in all caps because I know for a fact that it's extremely difficult to see a dress and just MAKE it by SIGHT and WITHOUT one) and because she chose a checked fabric. (Checks are difficult to match, and since she constructed the bodice and the skirt separately, it could've gone very, very wrong very, very easily.) 

But when she came downstairs very late last night to show me the finished product, all of that skepticism evaporated. Even without a pattern, she managed to eyeball it perfectly: the fit, the sizing, the length, all of it. I was super proud of her, and it tickled me to see how proud of herself she was, because she earned every ounce of that feeling.

So tonight, I'm thankful for her talents and her drive and her determination. She may procrastinate sometimes (and that may drive me absolutely batty), but when she really wants something, she goes after it. And that kind of dedication, methinks, is a blessing.

September 26

My allergies have been terrible the past few days (shout out to ragweed for that particular joy), so it stands to reason that I spent most of today inside with my air purifier running on high. After dinner, though, when the orange of the sunset sky shone through my bedroom window, curiosity got the best of me and I headed up to the deck for a look at the view. 

And it most definitely did not disappoint. The oranges, the pinks, the blues, even the shades of grey... they were all lovely. And soothing. And I couldn't help but notice the sunbeams in the center of the image. 

It's hard to not feel a deep sense of gratitude when you get to watch incredible art like this be painted onto the sky every evening... from your own backyard.

September 25

I found out yesterday that my original Mother Ship is closing for good this weekend. It seems kind of silly to be sad about a Starbucks shuttering its doors since there are at least five of them here in Pleasanton alone, but this one's been special to me. It's where I plunked down in a chair each morning after school drop-offs. It's where I enjoyed hundreds of coffee dates. It's where I did PTA work and where I transcribed interviews and wrote articles during my "I interview celebrities for fun" phase of life. It's where I was the customer of the month earlier this year. As odd as it sounds for someone who never worked there, I did a lot of living there. So today, I popped in to get drinks for myself and Kristine (for her birthing day! Happy first birthday to Lily!) and to say goodbye to whomever was working. And the "whomever" happened to be two of my favorites: Katie and Megan.

These girls are two truly top-notch human beings, and I'm thankful that I got to meet and talk with them during their time as employees at the store. Both were perpetually pleasant, positive, and attentive, and my time there wouldn't have been the same without our morning exchanges and their smiles. 

So this evening, I'm thankful for them, and hopeful that they'll move on to their new stores knowing just how amazing they are.

September 24

If 2020 has revealed any truth, it's that this life is unpredictable.

Take my gardening. Usually, I wind up with overly healthy tomato plants that overproduce delicious fruit. That didn't happen this year. Sure, I've had some tomatoes, but not nearly as many as usual.

My bell pepper, plants, though... they've taken off like gangbusters. The peppers themselves are plentiful in number and in color: there's the huge yellow one, some that are turning a vibrant shade of red, and a host of black ones and green ones on the plants in the back. And even now, each plant has new flowers so they may well continue producing well into the fall.

Funny thing about is that I've never been able to get bell peppers to grow. But this year... this year, they're thriving.

So look at it this way: this year definitely isn't going in a direction that any of us would've liked or planned. But that doesn't mean it can't still be good -- maybe you just need to look for surprise bell peppers instead of the tomatoes you usually harvest.

September 23

Isaac had baseball practice this afternoon, which was a multi-pronged blessing. For one, it made him happy. (Really happy.) For another, it gave me a chance to hoof it around the Sports Park. For yet another, it provided me the opportunity to chat for a short while with other team moms.

At one point during practice, one of the other moms took note of my sweet number seven standing by second base and asked if he'd grown yet again. I paused, took a long look at him, and mused that was quite possible that he was indeed possessing an increased share of vertical space. (And as a matter of fact, just last night I stopped him in the kitchen and quietly wondered if he'd gotten taller.)

I do so love watching my babies grow. Every day, every joy, every challenge, every frustration... it may not feel like it in the heat of some moments, but they're all blessings.

September 22

My old friend Elizabeth posted about going on a literal Starbucks Run this morning. Although I don't run, the idea inspired me because my closest Mother Ship is a paltry 1.3 miles away, so I decided to go on my own Starbucks Fast Walk.

I donned my earbuds, put on a song that's spoken to me lately (Chris Tomlin and Lady A's "Who You Are to Me", in case you wondered), and headed out in the early afternoon hours. The air was --thankfully, given recent realities-- clear, and though it was a little on the warm side, I whispered silent prayers of thankfulness for the expansive blue sky overhead and for the view of the hills that lay before me in the distance. And then, when I arrived, for my extremely tasty citrus-mint-whatever-it-was tea over ice.

It was a good, restorative little trek that reminded me that though I've certainly had what sometimes feels like an unjust share of hard times, I am also quite blessed. And I am thankful.

September 21

My basil plants are still quite happy, and for once, I remembered I had them at dinner time tonight.

Adam and I both sprinkled freshly picked leaves atop our plates of pasta, and it proved to a be tasty, fresh add-on to the dish.

So today, I'm thankful for the very simple blessing of home gardens. (And that I remembered mine at just the right moment!)

September 20

Pre-COVID, Abby and I did a lot of weekend shopping. (Which you know if you've been around for a while!) Although we've not done much of that of late, I wanted to look at yarn and she wanted some fabric, so she and I went on a JoAnn's-and-Michael's run this afternoon post-church.

She found what she was looking for and I acquired a few more skeins of yarn for my wee stash, so it was a productive outing in a practical sense. 

But better than that, it was quality connection time with my one and only girl. I love and appreciate very much that she talks to me and tells me at least some of what's on her mind.

Given that I know parent/child relationships can be dicey sometimes, I am thankful that we are in a good place.

September 19

I miss interacting with friends, so I was happy to meet up with Sherrie at a Mother Ship this morning for some coffee and catch-up time.

At one point during the conversation, I said "as long as Abby has her license by the start of Senior year, I'm good," and then I stopped, legitimately surprised by two things: one was the reality that Abby will be a high school senior in just one year, and the other was the reality that I've known Sherrie for quite a while now. Her daughter is the same age as Abby, and our very first interactions happened in the dance studio, back when our little girls were pink-skirted little ballerinas who held hands as they twirled during that year's recital.

It's incredible to me that time has passed by as quickly as it has, and I'm thankful that she and I are still in touch and still getting together for coffee whenever she can squeeze me in.

September 18

This morning, I had my hair done for the first time since March. This is a goofy pic but it's what I've got so there ya go:

I know that appearances are just surface-deep and that in the grand scheme of things, looking nice isn't terribly important, but it does feel really good to not feel like I look like a swamp rat. Looking presentable makes me feel better, which makes me more pleasant, which makes me a happier person overall. (I think, anyway. I guess my family would be the best people to ask when it comes to the "how was mom today?" question.)

So for the very basic blessing of finally being able to get a haircut, I am super duper thankful.

September 17

I know this will sound peculiar, but I've been looking for something like this for quite a while. And today, I found it.

I'm not going into details, but I have the perfect use for these right now so finding them was, in my mind, a rather random but much-appreciated blessing.

So this evening, I'll head off to bed more conscious of --and more appreciative of-- unusual little blessings.

September 16

I didn't sleep well last night and woke up feeling agitated. I sat in the silence for a little while and asked God to show me the roots of my anxiety, and a few different things --none of which are under my control-- came to mind. So I said a few prayers and got up for the day.

The air quality was actually decent for the first time in weeks, so I headed out to pick up a few things. (And came away with this lovely new Corvette, which was awesome because new Corvettes always make me think of Logan and although the edges can still be sharp now and then, I love things that remind me of him.)

Then Isaac had baseball practice this afternoon, which was also lovely because I got to walk around the Sports Park for the first time in weeks and I got to sit and chit-chat with some of the other boys' moms. I'd missed those things.

So what's my point here? It's this: as the day draws to a close, none of the things I felt anxious over this morning have changed (to the best of my knowledge). But it was a good day nonetheless. Given that the younger version of me could easily have founded Worry Warts Anonymous, present-day me being able to put aside my concerns and enjoy a day is a very big blessing.

September 15

It had been several months since I'd FaceTimed my brothers, so at my not-so-subtle prompting, we did just that this evening. And we enjoyed a lovely hour-and-a-half-long chat about all kinds of things.

Truthfully, I don't know that we knew each other all that well as kids. I'm the cream in the Oreo --four years younger but five grade levels behind Bobby, and three years older than Charlie-- but even so, I was almost never in the same school as either of them. And the age gaps meant that we didn't really share any friends, either. Nor did we seem to have many shared interests.

So I consider it a blessing that now, as adults who are all (almost) in our 40s, we're kinda-sorta getting to know each other a bit better. We're still separated by plenty of miles with Bobby in Maryland, Charlie down in Los Angeles, and me up here by the Bay, but the FaceTimes definitely count for something. And I am grateful.

September 14

We had a discussion about hair-washing procedures at dinner this evening. (Yep. Unconventional topics, table for five.) The conversation was prompted mostly by Isaac's duck-like hair (seriously, it repels water. It's fascinating) and Brady's sweaty, post-baseball clinic mop, but both boys seemed stymied by what, exactly, they were supposed to do, so Adam decided to wash their hair in the kitchen sink. (You know, just because.)

Afterward, Abby offered to do the combing work. Although Brady aggressively rejected the offer, Isaac went along for the ride. So she parted and combed. And they shared what I would probably call A Moment.

I know she feels left out of the mix sometimes since Isaac and Brady spend a lot of time together, Adam and I are, well, married, and her buddy is in Heaven, so it was good for my heart to see her feel included. (Even if it was in a very silly kind of way.)

September 13

It's not uncommon for me to spend Sundays in my room watching TV or reading or working on some other project, and that's what I did most of today. At one point in the early afternoon, I headed to the kitchen to get a drink and found Brady arranged on the family room floor like so.

With an A's game and the 49ers season opener on TV back-to-back, he and Isaac (and their legion of stuffing-filled friends) needed a comfy spot for afternoon sports viewing. 

I'm not entirely sure how this was more comfy than the empty couch across the room, but it was nice to see them actively enjoying their "boy" time with Adam. I'm beyond grateful for the example he sets for them. 

September 12

We played a few rounds of cards after dinner this evening. When we scattered to do other, more individual activities, Adam spontaneously grabbed Brady and gave him a bear hug. (Not a BearBear hug, mind you. A bear hug.) 

Our littlest dude, who had been channeling Travolta with some pretty impressive disco moves just a few moments before, accepted the embrace with enthusiasm.

So tonight it's just a simple thought: I am grateful for this. I am grateful that my kids have a dad who really and truly loves, cares for, and wants them in his everyday life. Because that is a priceless gift to everyone who receives it, whether or not they fully recognize how priceless it truly is.

September 11

I decided to teach myself how to crochet a few months ago. Initially, it did not go well. I spent more time trying, feeling the frustration rise in my chest, and then putting down the hook and the yarn (because, you know, I wanted to learn so I could do a better job of relaxing) than I did actually making progress. (Ask Kristine. She knows.)

But then about a week or so ago, I was watching a very slow YouTube tutorial when --lightning bolt!-- I finally, finally, finally got it. The Hallelujah Chorus played in my mind. I got up and did a little jig (alone in the family room, since it was 2 AM and everyone else was in bed). And then I sat down and stitched several more rows since I'm a tactile learner: I have to do it to get it.

So tonight, as I sit here watching a movie with Adam and Abby, I'm thankful that I'm also sitting here working on an actual project using a skill that I taught myself. Given that I feel like my brain isn't what it once was, that in and of itself is a huge blessing.

September 10

Dinner time at our house is often an interesting experience, and tonight was no exception to the rule.

After the boys shared about their respective school days, we turned our attention to Abby. 

I honestly have no idea what prompted this display of weirdness from Adam --I'm tired and just can't remember-- but it persisted for some time. And although I'm pretty sure Abby was quite annoyed by the time she left the table, the whole thing was just bizarre enough to make me laugh (just a little), because when Adam gets riled up, he's kind of hilarious.

So tonight, I'm grateful for the chuckle and more grateful for the grace that my girl will show me later for posting this image.

September 9

Today featured the strangest sky I've ever seen. 

It was this orange-ish color from sun-up til late-afternoon, when the hue finally morphed from sepia tone to a more normal gray. 

It was like literally seeing the world from an alternate lens, which is kinda-sorta what we've all been doing in a figurative sense all year long thanks to COVID-19.

Anyway, as this wacky weather Wednesday draws to a close, I'm grateful for the shades of blue that usually color the skies, and that this odd, rather dystopian orange isn't the norm.

September 8

Brady came downstairs this morning during a school break time and asked if he could have a Pop Tart. When I said okay, he retrieved it from the pantry, sat down next to me at his seat at the table, and we had a short chat.

Honestly, I can't remember exactly what we talked about, but I do remember thinking that it was very pleasant to have a quiet conversation with my littlest. And I do remember silently smiling at his sprinkling of freckles and marveling over how much his once-blonde hair has darkened.

Every moment is a blessing, and I am grateful for this one.

September 7

We got up this morning, took a walk, prayed for each other, and then I was off to the airport at a little after noon to catch my flight home.

After a long-ish layover in Las Vegas (where I lost $2.95 playing a slot machine, which I'd never done before but promised Kathy I would purely for her amusement), I continued on to Oakland, where Adam was waiting for me with an iced almond milk honey flat white from the Mother Ship. A super sweet welcome indeed. Then when we got home, Isaac and Brady greeted me with hugs (while my ever-so-slightly germ-phobic girl said hello but mostly kept her distance). 

And now I'm settled in to my usual evening spot on the couch in the family room, thinking about what a blessing my trip was and what a blessing it is to return home, too. And my heart is content.

September 6

I just spent too much time trying to pick my favorite picture from today. In the end, I finally decided to just go with two since I like them both equally (but for somewhat different reasons). And honestly, I'm tired and it was an easier solution. So there ya go.

I head back home tomorrow, so today was the last full one of my trip. We talked for a little while early on and then before we went out to shop a bit in the afternoon, Kathy suggested we take a pic while we both still had non-wind blown hair. And we did that, but I didn't like how I looked in either of them, so we engaged in round two in the car. The one to the left is the result of me trying to get her to smile naturally. I don't even remember what I did, but she started laughing at something, and then I leaned in and pushed the button on her phone to take a pic, which made her laugh more. So then I took this one, too. And I love, love the result so much because pictures of people laughing make my heart so happy. It's almost like I can hear their joy all  over again when I look at them, and I can always use extra doses of joy. The second image is from a bit later, when we were no longer non-wind blown, but I like it too because it looks (and was) happy. And relaxed. And since I came hoping to have a chance to just be for a little while, that moment was a blessing, too.

At any rate, I'm heading to bed feeling grateful to have had this time here with Kathy, and grateful that Adam is always so willing to bless me by holding down the fort at home so I can take time for myself. And I'm grateful to my kids for being good for him while I was gone! (I hope.) I'm surrounded by wonderfully amazing people who fill out and enhance my life in different ways, and I am thankful for every single one of them.

September 5

It was a pretty day, so I spent quite a bit of it outside on Kathy's patio; some by myself, some with her, and some with the pooch.

Here we are. And here I am comforting the passed-out Lexi, who had just survived the traumatic task of having her nails trimmed. (I was the holder. And yes, I wound up covered in tiny dog hairs, which reminded me of why I don't have a dog. Not even a nice kitty-dog like her.)

We also had dinner with Sean and his friend, took a long (mostly) pre-dusk walk around Kirkwood, and watched a movie. (Mostly for Abby's reference: it was 'Feel the Beat' on Netflix.)

It was, all in all, a good day. A pleasant day. A day of some laughter and lots of conversation, and even a blip that paved the way for some long-needed reconciliation. Even though difficult discussions are just that --difficult-- I'm convinced that they're necessary if we want to grow. 

So tonight, I go to bed feeling thankful for conversation, for sweet little dogs who pass out in my lap, and for all of my amazing friends who contribute so much dimension and happiness to my life.

September 4

Since Kathy had to work today, I had a slow start to my morning, which involved cajoling myself out of bed at a late-ish hour and then dragging myself to the kitchen for coffee. A few sips of java later, I noticed that her daughter Maggie (who is 13) was sitting outside, so I joined her and we a had really pleasant chat. I don't always enjoy long conversations with teenage types, but she's truly a sweet, perceptive, thoughtful kiddo so the time was a blessing.

Once Maggie left with her dad and Sean (who is 11) had departed for a sleepover with his cousins, we headed out for our own late-afternoon/early-evening activity: pedicures. I hadn't had a pedi in months thanks to COVID, so it was so, so nice to emerge with pretty purple toes. (Although I think she's still a bit traumatized by her bright red pick which was totally hers and not mine at all.)

From there it was on to dinner, which involved chips, salsa, tacos, and most of a margarita. I hadn't really eaten (okay, I hadn't eaten anything at all) earlier in the day, so the drink kind of went to my head just the littlest bit (which is my excuse for the first image. I also just think it's funny because though I have no evidence to support the claim, I'm pretty sure we commonly make these exact faces at each other). But it was a beautiful evening that featured a very pleasant not-too-hot, not-too-cool temp and the chit-chat was good, so it too was a blessing.

Following a post-dinner stop at the Mother Ship (because duh), we went back to her house and watched a pair of movies (which were both quite good, really). We brushed each other's hair as we watched, and then I went to work on trying to loosen some of the knots in her shoulders. Why? Because I know her back always hurts and it's a really practical way to show care.  

And that's about it. I'm glad to be here listening and hearing and laughing and taking ridiculous pictures. And being. Because like I said yesterday, I firmly believe that just being is important.

September 3

I flew to Missouri this morning to spend the weekend with Kathy, who is one of my favorite people. It was a blessedly uneventful flight followed by an equally blessedly uneventful Uber ride to her house, where I made kiss-y noises at her dog, who rewarded me with a wet, tongue-y kiss. (I'll be sterilizing my mouth for days.)

Anyway, it was late-ish and she was tired, so we took the dog for a night stroll around the neighborhood, listened to her daughter and her friends act like 12 and 13-year old girls, and drank some beer with Sprite. (Which is probably the only way I will ever drink beer, since I don't care for it all that much on its own.) 

I'm fading surprisingly fast given my night owl tendencies so I'll make this quick, but I do have one thing to say: I really treasure the times when I can just be, just exist, with those I hold close to my heart. No one among us knows how long our days will number, so opportunities to connect --to talk, to laugh, to be real-- are truly golden gifts to me. 

I don't really know exactly what we're going to do this weekend, but today, I am thankful for her and for the chances to be that the hours to come will hold.

September 2

I was at Walmart this afternoon (glamorous, I know) so I took a trip down the toy car aisle. As luck would have it, an employee was in the midst of unpacking a new box of Hot Wheels, so I watched her for a minute, and then offered to help hang them up. She accepted my offer with a smile (I could tell she was smiling despite the mask) and I kept an eye out for flame jobs and Corvettes --since those were Logan's Thing-- as I worked. I almost never get to see fresh cases because there are guys around here who go around and buy up all of the sought-after cars so they can re-sell them on the secondary market (and in fact, at least two were circling and sending envious looks in my direction -- insert eyeroll here), so I was pleased and genuinely surprised by my good timing. I didn't see anything rare but I did find a new Vette and a few flame jobs, so I left feeling satisfied.

After I left, I looked up the Super Treasure Hunt for that particular case, and was surprised to see that it was one that I'd seen (and bought) in regular form (because they make regular and Super versions of the same cars -- sorry, I know it's kind of confusing) while unpacking the box, and mused that it would be totally hilarious if I'd accidentally bought a Super without noticing what I was doing. But, I reasoned, I'd never do something like that.

Anyway, long story longer, when I got home a bit later, I was shocked when I picked up the car that I'd thought was a regular and discovered that it was indeed a Super Treasure Hunt. A Super with a flame job. And I had no clue that I'd inadvertently --providentially, maybe-- picked it up.

Sometimes it feels like Logan couldn't possibly be any further away, but at other times, it's like he's right here with me, and this was definitely one of those times. And I don't think I could possibly be any more thankful for this sweet, perfect little wink of automotive goodness.

September 1

Brady can talk about video games for hours on end. (No exaggeration.) My eyes usually start to glaze over after a few minutes of Mario, Minecraft, and CPUs, but tonight I decided to join him in the living room while he played Mario Kart.

I listened while he talked about the game; about the characters, about why he was choosing to play using Isaac's account rather than his own, about the advantages of certain mystery boxes over others. It was, in a word, overwhelming.

Brady is a talker, so there's a good chance he would've been talking to himself even if I hadn't been there listening, but it was nice to be present and nice to hear him go on and on --even if I didn't understand most of what he was saying-- because I'm just so thankful that he IS.