September 30

It was a blessedly laid back kind of evening, which was exactly what I needed. Craved, really. We watched a movie, I talked with my mom, and I got an email I'd been hoping to get. And then when I walked through the kitchen a little while ago, I remembered the deliciousness that is this:

It's the remaining portion of the apple/pear pie Abby and Adam's mom made on Friday night. I didn't have any (because I'd already sucked down a bowl of chocolate/peanut butter ice cream), but I remembered the piece I had last night and how good it was. And in that moment, I was keenly thankful for sweet days and sweet treats. This life may not always be particularly fun, but I'm grateful for the good moments.

September 29

I went to bed late but still got up early, so since the kiddos spent the night with Adam's parents, he and I ventured out together to get my morning coffee. When we stepped outside, the sky looked like this:

I have to be up and out reasonably early each day to get the short people to school, but I'm usually barking orders or stressed, so I rarely take the time to look up at the clouds. So today, it was a blessing to take a few moments to admire them.

September 28

After a week that I'd best typify as stressful, it was such a blessing to spend most of my Friday with Taylor. After I did the usual kid drop-offs and a little shopping, she picked me up at 12:40 and we headed to the mall to have our makeup done at MAC. (Random, I know, but entertaining, even if my makeup artist did stick her foot in her mouth in a truly epic way.)

From there, we drove to the south bay for the Jason Aldean (and Lauren Alaina and Luke Combs) concert. It was quite the experience sitting out there in the lawn, but it was fun to sing the songs and to people watch (and laugh at some of the stranger characters we encountered (like Drunk Charlie, who very nearly sang me the chorus from "Sherry Baby" but very mercifully did not)).

But precise circumstances aside, as I said at the beginning of this entry, it was a blessing to spend some extended time with someone as cool as this chick. And for those hours, I'm thankful.

September 27

I have plans with a friend for most of tomorrow and Adam won't be home until late, so we arranged for Adam's parents to pick up the short(ish) people from school. I watched Brady pack his overnight bag at bedtime, and my heart expanded and contracted as I listened to him talk about which of his stuffed animals he wanted to take along for the ride.

As I sat there on the bed listening to my baby's external monologue, I was more keenly aware than usual that these days won't last much longer. Before I know it, he'll be a big boy, and then he'll be a teenager, and then an adult. And some day soon, he won't agonize over which of his stuffed animals he wants to pack for a trip to grandma's house.

They were all sad thoughts to me, because there's something just so precious about kids his age, but I continue to realize that I'm blessed to be able to watch him --and Abby and Isaac-- continue to grow. And for that blessing, I'm endlessly thankful.

September 26

Back when Logan was sick, someone --and I can't remember who it was, so if it was you, thank you!-- gave me a set of these stones. They sit in a container one of the kids designed a number of years ago, and now and then, I walk by, pick one up, and pray on its message. Today's stone very appropriately read "Breathe."

I've been busy and frustrated (exasperated, really) for the past several days, so it was a nice reminder to do just that: slow down, focus, and breathe. So moving forward, that's what I'll try to do.

September 25

I took a shorter-than-usual walk this morning (what can I say? Time constraints). As I passed underneath a tree, I noticed a very small seed pod seemingly suspended in mid-air. Initially I walked right by, but something made me go back and take a pic. So here it is:

I watched that little pod for a few seconds as it swayed slightly in the breeze, and squinted until I could make out the very, very tiny thread that secured it to the branches above. My point is that though that little string is virtually invisible, it's still there, offering support. I think that's often the case with this life: we feel like we're hanging out there in the open by ourselves, entirely vulnerable to our circumstances and surroundings, when in reality, we have support, both from our friends and family, and from a God who cares for us. We may not be able to see Him, but he's still there, holding us up.

September 24

I can't remember exactly why Brady arose from the couch this evening, but he did, and a few seconds later, he was dancing like a fool to the music that emanated from the TV. I smiled at the memories of Logan that flooded my mind's eye, and the smile was promoted to grin status as Isaac joined in on the fun.

For a few more precious minutes, they laughed and spun in circles and even dropped to the floor to perform The Worm.

I love both of them dearly, but if it's possible, I love them even more when I can feel Logan with them engaging in their special brand of crazy.

September 23

Abby and I went to the grocery store this evening and when we got home, we found the boys sitting around the family room watching "For Love of the Game." Dinner soon followed, and we all plunked down to catch the movie's last hour.

I looked over at one point and saw Adam, Isaac, and Brady (and BearBear) all cuddled up together and it made me smile, so of course I snapped a pic.

It isn't a complete picture of all of my boys, but it's still awfully nice, and I'm still thankful for all that these three boys bring to my life.

September 22

Brady went to his friend Austin (who is my friend Nikki's son)'s birthday party at a bowling alley this evening. He had a good time bowling (of course) and eating pizza and spending time with his friends. Here he is with one of them before the game began:

As cute as they are, I'm actually going to talk about a small gesture Nikki made that meant quite a lot to me (even if I didn't show it at the time). She knew I'd had a tough few days, and at one point she looked at me, noted that I looked tired, and asked if I wanted a Diet Pepsi (which wasn't one of the drinks in pitchers for the party-goers). Before I could answer, she said she was getting me one and wandered off. When she came back a few minutes later, she had two cups and handed me one.

It was, of course, just a soda, but it was also a sign that she was concerned about me and wanted to help. And I'm really thankful for her kindness.

September 21

You know it's going to be a doozy of a day when the school principal pops her head into your car in the morning drop-off lane to ask if you have time to chat. (It wasn't about my kids, which is probably the biggest blessing of all.) It did indeed turn into a frustrating afternoon, which became an even more frustrating evening that necessitated that I bite my tongue. A lot. (Which, to my credit, I did. Nearly clean off, in fact.)

In light of all of that, I really didn't know what I'd write about (because dude, this day) until I looked over and saw Adam sitting on the couch, working on a word puzzle Isaac made. And in that moment, I went over and did this:

Not everyone has this, so tonight --on the heels of a day that I'd rather forget-- I'm thankful that I do.

And rather than waxing poetic on whatever else might pop into my mind in the next few minutes, I'm going to go enjoy it some more right now.

September 20

The elementary school has the kiddos create pinwheels for peace each year. Historically, I haven't gotten to see my kids' handiwork because it's either rained or the sprinklers have gone off or they've forgotten where they put them on the hill. But this year was different, because this afternoon, Brady knew exactly where to find his pinwheel:

It was a really nice surprise to see his work on display. Especially when I'm feeling tired or overwhelmed, those little surprises that make me smile for a minute are the best winks of all.

September 19

It's always a good day when I get to hang out with a friend. And it's a doubly good day when said-friend brings her adorable and amazingly well-behaved baby along.

Corie was one of our preschool teachers and we've spent plenty of time dining and concert'ing and road tripping in the past. Though we don't see each other particularly often these days, I know she's always there for a chat, and it's always a blessing to see her (and these days, her little man, too!).

September 18

I love it when I forget I've bought something and then "find" it months later, and that's just what happened this evening with this giant pack of Sharpies. I really don't remember when I acquired it, but I was super pumped to crack open the package this evening.

I blog of course (and duh to that), but I also like writing in paper notebooks, so coming across this veritable rainbow of new doodlers made me smile.

I've said it plenty of times before, but oftentimes, it truly is the little things that make the biggest of impressions.

September 17

It's probably really difficult to see, but there's actually a bee in the center of this image. Squint. You may be able to make him out.

What was remarkable to me about said bee was how he hovered there in exactly the same spot for at least 15 minutes. His little wings consistently whirred like a box fan, but he didn't actually move at all.

So where am I going with this, because obviously it's not a great thing to spin your wheels and go nowhere, right? Well, what struck me was how he didn't give up. I think it's easy to throw in the towel when we're working really hard and it seems like our circumstances aren't changing for the better. But this bee, he just hovered there, working away, waiting. Kind of like we sometimes have to wait on God.

September 16

We headed up to Adam's parents' house this morning to belatedly celebrate a handful of family birthdays. At one point, after playing inside for a while, the kiddos decided they wanted to pay a visit to the play structure, and Isaac expedited the process by helping his cousin Asher put on his socks and shoes.

I quietly watched as he talked Asher through the process of putting on his Lightning McQueen socks and then as he slipped his shoes over his little feet. And then they were up and out the door and heading down the hill in the backyard.

Isaac can be overly competitive and overly emotional at times, but I love his sweet temperament and how patient he is with younger kids. Both are tremendous blessings.

September 15

I came downstairs this evening and found Adam, Isaac, and Brady happily hanging out in the living room playing a video game.

It was a good day all in all, with a nice family lunch that featured amusing, animated conversation and genuine smiles, and time out and about with my favorite teenager. So this particular sight --one that I don't see particularly often these days-- was a sweet blessing to close out the hours.

September 14

Adam and I went for a walk after dinner this evening. The sunset evolved as we strolled, and the show was a breathtaking, ever-morphing display of vibrant pinks and oranges and yellows. Of course, as luck would have it, we both left our phones at home, so there was no way to record it for posterity's sake, but I snapped this the second we got home, just a few minutes after the final tinge of orange faded to gray.

Human life isn't always beautiful, but we all have moments that are reminiscent of that sunset: beautiful and spectacular and utterly captivating. It's our choice to decide whether or not we're going to fully appreciate them and carry memories of the brillance into less beautiful times.

As for me, I'll watch the sun dip into the horizon every time.

September 13

It's Kindness Week at the boys' school, and our amazing event chairs have done an awesome job of putting together what I consider to be a pretty darn meaningful slate of activities for the kiddos. Today, every child had the chance to write a letter to someone, and in addition to writing one of his own, Brady actually received one from a classmate. He didn't tell me about it, but I found it on the dining room table this evening:

I have no idea who this kid is and couldn't pick him out of a lineup, but I'm so, so pleased to know that Brady has managed to make an impression. It absolutely warms my heart to hear that he's being a good friend, and I'm thankful that God created him to be a kind, friendly, inclusive person he is.

September 12

I met up with this girl for coffee early this afternoon.

I've known Taylor for a few years now (and have mentioned her in here a few times before) and I truly adore her. She's funny, blunt (much like me!), and has one of the best, most honest hearts I've ever been blessed to know.

She may be just the slightest bit younger than me ( ;) ), but I'm so fortunate to be able to call her a friend.

September 11

I was out in the backyard the other day --which happens appalling infrequently-- when I realized that our little apple tree had been quite productive this year. So I scoured the ground for fallen fruit and plucked a few of the fatter ones from its branches before I headed back inside.

When I was a kid, I always thought it would be fun to have a fruit tree. We had huge gardens and grew everything from cucumbers to melons to beans to marigolds to raspberries, but there was something alluring about the idea of picking a fresh apple from a tree. And now I'm blessed to have have an apple tree (and an orange tree) of my own.

There may be many things about my life that aren't as I would have planned them, but I'm happy to have those trees (and all of that "free" fruit!).

September 10

Adam sent me flowers last week. It wasn't a special occasion; he just decided I needed some.

I was in the kitchen a little while ago and looked over at their pretty yellow and purple faces.

And in that moment, it occurred to me that some of those little faces look a lot like sunshine. And I'm always thankful to be reminded of sunshine -- and MY Sunshine.

September 9

When church ended this morning, we went outside to the courtyard and found Brady sitting on the ground, busily constructing... this:

It's a structure made of leaves and bits of name badge, but I still have no idea what it's supposed to be. Still, I appreciate his creativity and how his little mind is always mulling new ways to complete otherwise mundane tasks. His ingenuity and curiosity are a blessing, and will no doubt be big blessings down the road.

September 8

Isaac and Brady have begged to go to an A's game for several weeks now, so today after lunch, we headed up to Oakland to catch the matinee against Texas.

It was a lovely 70-something-degree afternoon and our seats were in a shady portion of the second deck, so it was a pleasant three-and-a-half hours of exciting, back-and-forth baseball that concluded with a win for the home team.

Of course, we don't always "win" in this life, and that's okay. But it's awfully nice to be surrounded by happy fellow sports fans sometimes. And it's even nicer when that happens while you're with family.

September 7

Another day, another late-evening walk with this girl of mine.

Now that she's in high school, I've started being a little more real with her. I mean, I'm always real with my kids; it's part of my charm. But I mean I'm telling her more about who I really am as a person, what I believe, how I feel. And she's really responded to my truthfulness. I know because BearBear has said "I love you, senora" more often than ever before, and because as we rounded the park tonight, she threw her arm over my shoulder and left it there.

She'll always be my daughter first, but I'm really happy that she's becoming a friend, too.

September 6

I didn't get a chance to take a walk this morning --as I usually do these days-- so after I dropped Abby off at dance, I headed over to the Sports Park.

It feels like an entirely different place during the evening hours, with soft light filtered through the trees and the air slightly heavier with the weight of the waning day. But it's still lovely, and I'm thankful that I had the chance to see the same old sight I've seen every day of late through a different lens.

September 5

I had no idea what I'd write today until I took Abby to the doctor this afternoon and spied this on the wall:

It says 'bee yourself.' So though I'm a bit hesitant to follow that snippet of advice because I fear judgment, I'll take the nudge and admit that I'm really, really struggling right now. I'm tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed, and just sad.

I realize that I'm letting my joy be stolen and I'm taking steps to get it back, but the cold, harsh reality is that 2018 has been hard. I'm dealing with difficult situations and finding myself needing to pray for outcomes that I wouldn't choose if the choices were my own to make because I know they're just right.

So that's just me bee'ing (sorry, had to go with it) myself. If you see shades of yourself in my admission, it's okay: just remember that joy will come in the morning because He said so. And even in my own state, I'm trying to not lose sight of that truth.

September 4

It was a busy, busy day that was capped off by the school's ice cream social. The Little Boys enjoyed their treats with some of their friends:

...while Abby helped me and one of our vice presidents sell spirit wear. (And let me tell ya -- it was busy, busy, busy.)

I only have a picture of the boys, which is why I'm using it, but I really wanted to talk about Abby. After we got home, I took her out for cheeseburgers at McDonalds (since they're her favorite delicacy). In the car, I told her how proud I was of her for stepping up and helping even though it didn't benefit her in any way. Because that's just what she did: she stood there for an hour and a half, rifling through boxes of shirts and talking to parents. We truly couldn't have done it without her help.

But then she surprised me when she told me she was proud of me for stepping up to be the president. She said she knew I didn't really want to do it, but she respected the fact that I took the job anyway and am trying to do it as best I can.

I expect to build her up sometimes because she's my daughter. But I didn't really expect her to turn the tables and build me up. I am just so blessed to be her mom.

September 3

I chatted with my mom on the phone for a while this evening, and when I came downstairs, I found the boys on the couch like this:

I'm not even sure what was so amusing, but it did my heart a great deal of good to see them all huddled together. And to see those genuine grins on display! Honest smiles are some of my favorite things in the world.

September 2

I know I've said this before, but this girl is a total crack-up.

We --mostly meaning me and Adam, but also Abby, who wore headphones and appeared to be watching YouTube on her laptop-- were watching a terrible Lifetime movie late this afternoon. (I know, I know, but we like to make fun of them. Our running commentary is Emmy-worthy.) Anyway, out of nowhere, BearBear spoke up to share his take on the action, and Adam and I both lost it.

Her comic BearBear timing never fails to make me snort. And for that odd little blessing, I'm thankful.

September 1

After a low-key morning and early afternoon, we packed up and headed out to Dani's first birthday party. I'm not a swimmer myself, but the kiddos and Adam took a dip in the pool before dinner, and when only Abby remained in the water, this bit of silliness transpired:

Adam and Abby have similar personalities: when we go to gatherings, they usually wind up sitting together chuckling over this or that. They're both pretty introverted people, and I think it's how they stay comfortable in an otherwise stressful situation.

I may not totally understand their approach, but I appreciate how they lean on each other and the ease of their interactions. So for their relationship, I'm thankful.