April 26

Today's JV baseball game had some unlikely spectators.

Yep, after the final out was recorded and we shuffled our way toward the parking lot, my friend Amber spied a family of bunnies nestled into the grass behind the bleachers. Cognizant of their skittishness, I slowly and carefully approached to get a good look at them and their cute cottony tails.

Although I'm quite allergic to rabbit fur, I still think they're some of the cutest animals God created, so I'm grateful for the sweet surprise that was their presence.

April 25

When I picked up Isaac after school today, I watched as he bent down and plucked a flower from a plant that somehow seeded itself by the base of a stop sign. When he got in the car a moment later, he offered it up to me with a smile.

The scene, while a sweet one in and of itself, reminded me of one of my very favorite images of Logan. He was very small, and just as I snapped the photo, he stretched out his little hand to offer me a flower.

Two sweet gifts from two sweet boys, offered up many years apart. For the gift of what was then and of what is now, I am thankful.

April 24

The Dons had a game in Danville this afternoon so I picked Isaac up at the appointed time and we headed north on the freeway.

It was a cooler and definitively overcast day but aside from the tennis ball that escaped a nearby court and nearly whacked me in the head while I waited for the game to begin, it was a pleasant enough afternoon.

Once the action began, it was a mixed bag for Isaac: he had a pair of swinging strikeouts, but his third at-bat netted a single while his fourth was a pop-out. Defensively he played the entire game in left field, where he made a great running catch to snuff out a mounting rally (among other contributions). 

Although they came out on the losing end, he was chatty as he emerged from the dugout, and spent the ride home talking about the game and various other topics. Given that I'm well-versed with The Moodies these days, I'm very grateful for that chattiness.

April 23

This is what a walk-off wild pitch looks like.

And fortunately, that's Brady's team doing the celebrating.

They engaged in quite the competitive game this evening against a team they'd played (and beaten) twice before. Since Brady threw 67 pitches during his Babe Ruth game Sunday he was ineligible to take the mound, but he contributed in other ways: offensively, he had two hits and a pair of stolen bases, and defensively, he turned a key double play when we caught a hard liner and tossed it to second base to erase the runner who'd prematurely headed for third. 

Anyway, the score was knotted at 3-3 when his team came up to bat in the bottom of the first extra inning. Our runner who began the inning on second base --because today's umpires said we needed to follow the international rule on that even though we never have before-- stole third base, and then, a few balls later, ran home on a wild pitch. And the celebration commenced.

We don't always come out on top in this life. In fact, much of the time I think we fail more than we win, probably because failing teaches us so much. But those winning moments are pretty darn sweet, so I am thankful for this one.

April 22

I was pretty sure I hadn't taken a single photo today, but I was wrong because as I was scrolling through my images a few minutes ago, I found this one. It's time stamped 11:26 AM.

It's one of those oopsie shots that you take when you're fumbling with your phone. (At least that's what happens with me. Maybe everyone else is less clumsy with their pricey electronic devices.)

It's kind of nice, in its own accidental-photo sort of way. It has elements of light and dark and is mostly in focus. And it reminds me that not all unintended happenings are disastrous; in fact, in some cases, they're even kind of cool.

April 21

Brady had a pair of games in Berkeley this morning so Adam shuttled him up there in the dad cab while Isaac and I stayed behind.

Isaac isn't a morning person so we were a little late leaving for church, which meant I couldn't stop by the Mother Ship for my dose of java. 

So when we got to church, I poured a cup of coffee from the pot in the family room (as we call the entry area) and then settled into my seat in the sanctuary. I took a quick sip and sighed because --much to my surprise-- it tasted really good. 

And I sat there holding my cup, just breathing in the fragrance of the coffee and the sweetness of being with fellow Believers in Jesus. 

April 20

It was another multi-game Saturday for Brady and us spectators.

By the time his head hit the pillow this evening, he'd played in three match-ups (two for Intermediates, one for Babe Ruth) which netted two wins and one loss. He had a hit in each game and played solid defense all over the field(s). It was beautiful outside and Adam's parents were able to join us for game number two, which is always nice, and I got to chit-chat with my fellow baseball moms. So it was, all in all, a very pleasant kind of day.

But what I really want to focus on is what I'll call The Big Comeback, which could alternately be dubbed The Proof That These Kids Are Clearly Not Awake Until 10:30 AM game. It was the first match of the day between Brady's Intermediates team and one from Bollinger Canyon Little League. It was technically a house-level game, although (like our team), the opponent has something of a floating roster that includes players of varying ability levels.

To be blunt, Brady's team looked bad from the outset. It seemed like they suddenly didn't know how to play defense and before we knew it, they were trailing by five runs. They could very well have given up and accepted what looked like certain defeat, but that's not what happened.

Instead, they buckled down, woke up, started making plays and chanting like crazy, and entered the bottom of the final inning knotted in a 10-10 tie. Brady wasn't supposed to pitch, but his coach asked if he could please have his services for an inning and we agreed, so he threw a terrific bottom of the seventh, notching a groundout that he expertly fielded himself, a walk, and a strikeout over just 13 pitches. He even dispensed with the runner he walked by executing a perfect pick-off move to second base. In the extra inning that followed, his team scored 3 more runs to secure a 13-10 win.

It was infuriating and then nerve-wracking and then exhilarating. That's often baseball for ya. And it was a blessing to see them rally hard and fight for the victory. This life often takes mettle, and those boys certainly showed theirs today.

April 19

Isaac was in a good mood following the JV Dons' 7-6 win over Dublin, so when we got home and I pointed out that he hadn't yet taken a pic with his yard sign, he decided he'd make it happen. Sort of.

Rather than just standing next to it, he chucked his bags on the lawn, put down the box of cereal he'd been munching from in a central location, and turned around to reference the number 27 on the back of his jersey. (And yeah, the sign says 21 because 21 is technically his home number. His away number is 27. Today's game was at home, but none of the boys like their dingy home jerseys so they wear the purple away ones all the time now. So I guess Isaac is actually #27. But not according to the sign. Got that? Me neither.)

Anyhow, it was a gorgeous day for baseball and my allergies didn't bother me, so I'm grateful for the time at the field.

April 18

I really enjoy the creative process, so I've had fun putting together this scarf this week.

I'm not using a pattern and it's done in something of a stitch sampler format, with blocks of various stitches separated by rows of double crochet. This evening during Brady's game, I even inadvertently came up with a stitch pattern to use as edging. 

It's satisfying to choose different stitches and it's relaxing to weave a hook through the yarn in the appropriate rhythmic fashion. 

Given that I've felt a bit stressed of late, I'm grateful to have a hobby that brings me a sense of well-being.

April 17

Both of the brositos had games this afternoon. Isaac's match-up started earlier, so once it ended, he and Adam headed northward for to catch the latter part of Brady's game.

And here they are -- that's our number 27 (at away games, anyway; he's 21 at home. We won't discuss that silliness behind why he has two numbers) and Brady's in the batter's box.

Bigger brother watching little brother on a temperate Spring afternoon. Pleasant family time. 

And I'm grateful for all of it.

April 16

It was, as is often the case during the Spring months, a lovely evening for baseball.

That's Brady on the left. He pitched the first two innings of his team's game, and although it wasn't his best outing, he only gave up one earned run against a very tough opponent. 

I had to leave early for an Elders' board meeting at church, but when I got home Adam shared that despite a solid outing on the mound, Brady was a bit salty after the game because he thought he should've done better. And that comment made me think.

I've always been a perfectionist. I've spent a large part of my adult life learning that it's okay to make mistakes and to do things imperfectly. And because of that, I'm often trying to remind my kids that I don't expect them to be perfect.

It would be nice to not make mistakes, of course, but I'd argue that mistakes are beautiful because they make room for grace. And grace, when employed liberally, unites us. It fosters forgiveness and compassion. And it's amazingly freeing for both the giver and the recipient. 

So today I'm thankful for the reminder that it's okay to err.

April 15

Isaac was in a good mood when I picked him up after school/practice today. Perky, I'd call him. He was jibber-jabbery like he is when he's feeling good.

When we got home, he puttered around the kitchen talking to himself while trying to figure out what he wanted to eat. 

Eventually, after I pointed out a bag of frozen fruit in the freezer, he decided to make a smoothie. So I watched (and helped him figure out the best frozen-fruit-pulverizing settings).

And he continued his cheerful chatter.

The world can be a challenging place, so it's a blessing when my kiddos are feeling happy-go-lucky and when they share that positivity with me.

April 14

I went up to the deck this evening to watch the sun dip below the horizon. I do that every now and then.

It was a chilly out and the wind whipped my hair around my face as I traversed the steps to the top, and when I got there and turned around, I wasn't disappointed by the view.

With a snapshot of the clouds and the colors and the shading in mind, I took a seat and closed my eyes for a few minutes. And I listened to the sounds of the wind rustling nearby branches and vehicle traffic on the streets below.

This life isn't perfect. Far from it, really. But it's good. And for that truth --and for sunsets and the wind that refreshes the air-- I am thankful.

April 13

Sometimes, when all is quiet and calm, I zone out and just relish the silence.

And then I tune back in and realize that the boys are using their hands and armpits to make an array of fart noises at the dinner table.

Those are the moments when I smile to myself and think "praise the Lord that we're here together and that they're still growing." Because strange noises aside, I'm always grateful for that truth.

April 12

This is the air freshener that currently graces the wall in our dining room.

Since it's in a central location, I pass it numerous times during the day. Most of those times, I don't really notice it. 

But once the sun goes down and the darkness sets in, its beautiful light becomes very apparent. 

I think that's the kind of relationship we --or at least, I-- so often have with God. I don't necessarily "see" Him during the easy times, but when troubles arise, His light is an obvious beacon. And the more frequently I look toward the light, the more it eclipses the darkness.

Given how often this world caters to not-great things, I'm grateful for that Light.

April 11

Brady had an Intermediates game in Danville this evening.

He threw 30 pitches over two full innings, and notched three strikeouts and no hits or walks (or hit by pitches). It was a good outing over a team that hadn't previously been saddled with a loss. 

My allergies flared thanks to the many trees and grassy hillsides nearby, but it was a lovely, warm evening. And I am thankful to have been able to enjoy it.

April 10

Today was the warmest day of the year to date (I think) as the temp soared to nearly 80 degrees. And naturally, there was baseball to be played.

So after I picked up Brady from school, we took a brief pit stop at home before heading back out to watch Isaac's game. (That's him there, patrolling center field late in the late innings.)

I know I say this multiple times each Spring, but it's a blessing to be able to watch my boys play ball.

April 9

Brady had a game this evening and arranged to ride with his friend Jackson to warmups.

So he was outside waiting when I left to pick up Isaac from his practice. He looked so big and responsible standing there that I was suddenly taken aback. When did he start arranging for his own rides? He's 13, for goodness' sake. It seemed crazy.

But it's also good. I know that the words "teenager" and "responsible" are highly unusual bedfellows, but they go together for him (as of now, anyway). 

So for that not-small gift, I am thankful.

April 8

I've never cared much for jelly beans.

I'm not entirely sure why that is; maybe it's because I associate them with licorice, which my taste buds interpret as "ew". (Seriously, the horror of accidentally biting into a black jelly bean and tasting that foul, foul flavor is real.) 

But Abby's been a consistent fan of the Starburst variety, so during a Target run this afternoon, I picked up a bag from the Easter clearance aisle. And I immediately discovered that she was right all along -- they are indeed delicious!

Fruity, tangy, just the right texture. And no worry of inadvertently ingesting a speck of licorice. The perfect little sweet treat.

So for pleasant surprises and finally having the good sense to try out my girl's recommendation, I'm thankful.

April 7

Isaac baked these cookies the other day, and they're delicious.

In case you're curious, they're scratch-made peanut butter with peanut butter cups, M&Ms, and pretzel pieces.

I was having one for breakfast this morning (along with my coffee) and I mused over what a blessing it is to have kiddos who enjoy being in the kitchen -- and have actual talent!

So for that sweet reality, I am grateful.

April 6

Although my current situation is "sneezing every few seconds" because my allergies are engaged in their customary April flare, I still look back at today with a grateful heart.

Both Isaac and Brady had non-local games, so Divide and Conquer Mode was activated: Adam headed to Concord with Isaac, while I took Brady to Berkeley.

The Dons won their tournament match-up and advanced to next week's championship game, while Brady's two-game effort yielded one win and one loss.

It was chilly out, but the sun shone brightly overhead. There was plenty of chit-chat with those around me; first with some of Brady's teammates' parents, and later with Adam's parents and Adam and Isaac. I finished a poncho I'd been working on for a few weeks and began something new. (And I find it so gratifying to pick out a new yarn and a fresh pattern to try.)

Beautiful days are never a given, nor are good conversations and positive moods. So I am thankful for today's many blessings.

April 5

Isaac and I were up and at 'em early this chilly Friday morning because baseball called: the JV Dons had the first of three tournament games in Concord. We loaded into the car on time (which I never take for granted), shot through the Mickey D's drive-thru (which was Isaac's reward for being on time) with greased-pig speed, and, with hash browns in-hand, headed north.

It was overcast (and did I mention chilly? Because it was chilly. There was snow on Mt. Diablo in the distance) and everything was wet from rain that fell overnight, but the boys seemed to be in good spirits.

It wasn't their best game, but Isaac notched the Dons' first hit of the game --a blooper that dropped into no man's land in shallow right-- and I could tell he was having fun being out on the diamond. He was smiling and jabbering with his teammates and had that peppy spring in his step that generally accompanies a good mood.

The game wound up ending in a 4-4 tie (which was totally weird since in tournaments, someone has to win and someone has to lose each game, but the umpires weren't budging from their position of not starting any new innings after 1:45 had passed so... there you go. We found out later that Isaac's team won the time-breaker, so there's that).

Anyhow, my scatterbrained-ness aside, it was a pleasant morning. (Chilly, but pleasant.) I had a nice time chatting with my friend Amber and got to watch one of my wonderful boys as he played a sport he loves. So for all of that, I am grateful.

April 4

Two days ago, it was sunny and beautiful and 76 degrees outside.

Today at nearly noon, it was 43 degrees and overcast and drizzly.

Although I don't love the fact that the heater is running in April and I am not a big fan of being cold, I did appreciate the reminder that we should always expect the unexpected.

So expect God to move in unexpected ways in your own life.

April 3

Adam had a dinner with co-workers tonight, so I decided to flip our usual script by taking the boys to Black Bear Diner after Brady's baseball practice ended.

So the three of us had our usual brunch selections as our evening meals.

Although they're prone to what often feels like endless bickering these days, they were both in jovial moods and I thoroughly enjoyed their good-natured repartee.

They're good boys, these boys of mine. And I am grateful for them and for the time we have together.

April 2

This is pretty much what today looked like for the Brositos.

Video games, some catch out in the yard, and later on during the evening hours, Youth Group.

Suffice it to say that I think they're enjoying Spring Break. We may not be doing anything glamorous, but it's downtime nonetheless.

So for the time off school for them and a mom-taxi hiatus for me, I am thankful.

April 1

I'm going to be real: I didn't enjoy being a teenager. I was perpetually stressed over trying to be perfect in school and didn't have a tight group of friends to help keep me grounded. (Or many friends at all, really.) I definitely wasn't part of the cool crowd and although I very much wanted to be seen, fear of rejection kept me firmly tucked inside my shell. I was, bluntly speaking, glad when I turned 20.

So although it makes me sad to see Isaac slogging through 15 like he has been for the past several months, it doesn't really surprise me because I've been there. But I'm also always in search of ways to lift his mood, and I had an opportunity to do so this afternoon when we ventured out to find him a new baseball glove.

He'd been quiet and vaguely sullen for most of the day, but the switch flipped and he was suddenly chirpy and chatty and smiley as he scoured the pegs in search of his prize. And when he finally found it --at the second store we perused-- he glowed.

So for those glowy moments that pierce the darkness that so often seems to enshroud the teenage years, I am very grateful.

March 31

 Happy Easter from our house to yours. 

It was a mostly quiet day, with the traditional Easter baskets followed by church and then a walk for Adam and I around the 'hood under mostly blue skies while the boys played video games. And then for dinner, Adam made steaks and potatoes and green beans and a mountain of scratch-baked rolls.

It was a good day, because it's the day that marks the rising of our Lord from the grave. And that's always something to celebrate.

But me? I was, to be fully honest, a bit out of sorts. It's strange and uncomfortable to realize that egg hunts and the big bunny and a lot of the cute trappings I've always associated with Easter are things of the past for us. It's strange to think that those two guys there in the photo with me are 13 and 15 years old. It's strange to think that Abby's not in the picture because she's away at school, finishing up her sophomore year of college. And it's still strange and painful that Logan isn't in the picture because he's been gone for more than 12 years. 

But that last part, that's what makes today as vitally important as it is. Because without today, the end of Logan's life here on earth would've been the definitive end. Instead, we know we'll see him again, whenever Someday arrives. So despite my feelings of sadness over the loss of those "fun things" and mixed emotions over the continuing metamorphosis of my family's life, my heart is filled with gratitude.

March 30

My brother Charlie and his husband Alexi live in Los Angeles. They're busy workers and enthusiastic world travelers so, as strange as it seems, they'd never been to our house. 

That is, they hadn't been here until today when, during a weekend trip to San Francisco, they BARTed across the Bay to join us for lunch.

We dined on Zachary's pizza and chit-chatted for several hours this afternoon. I presented them with a pair of chocolate bunnies for Easter and gave them the penny tour of the house and yard. And then they headed back to the city for their dinner plans.

I rarely see anyone from my family of origin, so it was such a blessing to spend time with the two of them and to show them our home. 

March 29

The boys were in the backyard playing catch early this evening when Brady frantically waved at me through the window. He motioned for me to come so I did. And when I opened the door, I saw a huge, vibrant rainbow.

So I had them pose for me (because of course I did; and no, Brady is not even close to being as tall as Isaac. There's a weird combination of stretching and slouching going on).

Anyway, it was a weird weather day complete with fairly substantial rainfall and, later, blue sky. So the rainbow itself didn't surprise me, but it did remind me to take a few moments to remember God's promises to all of us. And as Easter approaches, I'm so grateful for all of them.

March 28

It was a rather mundane Thursday for me. I cleaned the kitchen and ran several loads of laundry. But there were no standout moments of great revelation.

And that's okay, really, because Heaven knows I've had more than a few overly exciting (read: stressful) days in recent weeks.

So now that the sun is down and the tube is on and I'm sitting under my blanket with my laptop open, I'm grateful for slow, quiet days and for the plentiful opportunities to breathe and just be that they provide.

March 27

I had a relatively productive day; ran some errands, completed some tasks.

And as always, one of the highlights was my time with this guy at the Mother Ship before I took him to school this morning. 

He's growing up so quickly that I'm doing what I can to savor the moments as they come, even if they're just mundane, everyday experiences. Every single one is a gift.

March 26

Brady had a game this evening. He went 2 for 4 at the plate with a double and pitched the final two innings. In short, his team cruised to an 8-1 win.

It's surreal to watch him pitch these days. He's always enjoyed pitching and has historically had what I'd call colorful or "exciting" outings on the mound. 

But tonight, I realized that at some point along the way, when I wasn't looking very hard, he became good. He has a nice curve ball --so much so that the opposing coaches kept reminding their hitters to watch out for it-- and good velocity for his age. And he looks confident standing there, even when the defense slips up behind him.

So today I'm grateful that he's continuing to grow and mature, because that's no small blessing.

March 25

Brady went to the A's pre-season game this evening with some friends, so Adam and I decided to take Isaac out to dinner for some rare just-him-and-us time.

After he expressed interest in either steak or Italian (because he does love a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs), we opted to go to Cattlemen's.

We had a good time sitting together and eating, and listening to him as he energetically shared about his day at school. 

As number three of four, Isaac doesn't get much undivided attention from Adam and I, so it was a blessing to be able to focus on him this evening. And it was pretty sweet to see that big smile, too.

March 24

We had a special event at church this morning, and the boys helped out with the kids who attended. And there were quite a few of them!

So they (and Adam, who said he didn't sleep particularly well last night) we tired by the time we got back home.

Rest is a blessing, and an important part of daily renewal and regeneration. So I am grateful for the slow moments that allow me to be still.

March 23

It rained last night and into the wee hours of the day, so when I arose this morning and parted the curtains I expected to find gray skies.

But rather than the gloom that my mind predicted, I saw this instead.

Sometimes, when I'm in the midst of difficult or challenging circumstances, my expectations will shrink, so to speak; I'll assume that dark clouds will always accompany the rain. I will, in short, place limitations on God and stop expecting miracles or even just plain old good things.

So today I'm grateful for the encouragement to always look for blue skies, even when logic says they should be grey.

March 22

With a long week of baseball behind me, I was happy to plunk down in my seat in the family room after dinner with a crochet hook and a big ball of yarn.

My plan is to make beanies to donate to a handful of collections that will take place this fall. They're simple to create, so I'm looking forward to the down time. The simplicity.

I'm grateful to have an ability that allows me to give to others in such a practical way. And, of course, I'm grateful for having the free time to do it!

March 21

There were no games today for the first time since March 11, so I took those precious moments of freedom to take a walk while Brady was at practice.

It was a lovely, 70-degree afternoon and although a hint of humidity foreshadowed the rain in the forecast for tomorrow and much of the weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed my sneeze-free stroll. There was something soothing about the green hills, the bright orange poppies, and the way the breeze created ripples in the grass. It made me grateful to just be.

So for all of that loveliness, I am thankful.

March 20

I turned around after Brady's game ended this evening and noticed the waning moments of a stunning sunset in the distance.

As I took in the vibrant oranges and yellows and reds in the moments before they faded to dark blue, I wondered how many times I'd missed beautiful sights simply because I didn't anticipate seeing anything worthwhile.

It was a good reminder to keep my eyes open and to expect good things.

March 19

Surprise! There was another baseball game this evening.

And when the first pitch was thrown, this guy was sitting next to me on the bleachers. 

It was a beautiful evening, the company was great, and save the three batters he beaned during the last of the three innings he pitched, Brady played well. (Six strikeouts is pretty good work for someone who's not typically a strikeout pitcher!)

I know these days won't last long, so I'm soaking up the moments as best I can. And I'm thankful for them.

March 18

Isaac had another away game today, this time at Oakland Tech High School in Oakland.

He struck out swinging in his first at-bat, and then flew out to center in the second. He could've easily gotten discouraged, especially since most of his teammates were having success at the plate. 

But that's not what he did. Nope, instead of throwing in the towel, he smacked singles in each of his last three at-bats, and finished his day at the plate 3 for 5 with two RBI.

Sometimes when we get discouraged, the easiest course of action is to give up, so today I'm grateful for examples of perseverance in the face of difficulty. (And for a great game for my sweet boy, too!)

March 17

While Adam and Brady headed to a TVBR game (which they won 9-3!) in Albany late this morning, Isaac and I went to church and then to a team bonding bowling event for Amador Baseball.

I had a nice time being really bad at bowling with a few of my fellow parents, while Isaac played with a handful of his teammates.

He only has one good friend on the team, not many JV guys attended, and he's definitely an introvert, so I was proud of him for going and taking part in the event. 

Maturity and flexibility are blessings, and I'm thankful that this guy demonstrates both.

March 16

 Brady had a whopping four games today.

He collected a couple of hits and in the end (after the dust literally settled), his teams posted two wins and two losses.

It was a lot of baseball. A lot-lot, especially since the games were located in two different cities and the freeway that greatly facilitates travel between said-cities is closed all weekend for repairs.

But I wouldn't have been anywhere else. And neither would Adam. We're his parents and we love watching him play. 

But what really impressed me was that Isaac was also there for all four games, too. He could've stayed home or opted to do something --anything-- else with his time and no one would've batted an eye, but he chose to join us to watch his little bro out on the field. He's a good brother --even if he doesn't think that's true-- and I'm grateful for the ways he quietly supports his siblings.

March 15

Another day, another game, this time for JV in San Ramon.

Isaac didn't start the game, but he did come in to play left field in the 6th. And he made an impression with a couple of great defensive plays, including a running, sliding catch that ended with him on the ground but the ball in his glove. (He asked if I thought it was a Varsity-worthy play. I haven't seen much Varsity ball just yet, but I said yes because I can't imagine it wasn't. He seemed pleased by that.)

He also doubled down the left field line (his first extra-base hit of the season) and scored his first run of the season. (And in the interest of full disclosure, he struck out looking in his first at-bat. But we won't focus on that.)

In the end, the Dons won 14-2. Isaac was chipper and chatty on the way home, which made my heart happy because he's often very hard on himself. So for the sweetness of a big win and the extra super sweetness of a child who's pleased with his performance, I'm thankful.

March 14

Sometimes it's all about locating the bright spots and focusing on them until they eclipse the darkness.

Take Brady's Intermediates game this evening. It was, by and large, a largely unmitigated disaster. The opponents' starting pitcher was an unusually large, extraordinarily hard-throwing kid who basically mowed down our offense from top to bottom. Brady --who batted leadoff-- was mad when he struck out, as it was his first K of the season. (I know because I could see him mumbling to himself as he marched back to the dugout.) And on top of that, although our two pitchers (shout out to Randy Johnson) did well, our defense wasn't quite as sharp as it needed to be.

But, as previously suggested, there were bright spots for Brady. For one, he broke up the other team's no-hitter by singling to left field late in the game. (And in fact, that one hit was the only one his team managed.) For another, he pitched 2 1/3 innings and gave up just one earned run. And on top of that, he struck out the very dominant pitcher who struck him out to start the game. And he did it with a pitch in the dirt that made the kid flail and look kind of silly. He smirked afterward, I assume because it must feel pretty amazing to be a 13-year old who strikes out an otherwise incredibly dominant player who's the size of a very athletic 16-year old. A sort of David and Goliath kind of moment.

So today, I'm thankful for big bright spots that help to make the darkness seem a little less dark.

March 13

Isaac had a game at De La Salle this afternoon. For the non-locals, De La Salle is an all-boys Catholic school about 40 minutes north. And they have an excellent (epic, really; the movie "When the Game Stands Tall" is about their football team's winning streak) athletic department. 

So it wasn't super surprising when Amador lost today's match-up. But it was still a notable game for Isaac because it was a game of firsts that included the following seasonal milestones: 

* his first hit-by-pitch (in his first at-bat, he took one off the kneecap. Ouch) 

* his first strikeout (in his second at-bat and it was swinging at least, so better than if he'd been looking) 

* his first time being picked off (from second base after the hit-by-pitch. He told me after the game that his coach kept telling him "more, more, more" meaning "take more steps away from second base." After the pick-off coach told him "a little less next time." Ha)

* his first hit (a solid single into the gap in right center)

* his first RBI (on the aforementioned hit)

Strikeout and pickoff notwithstanding, he was in a chipper mood on the way home, and I am thankful for that. I'm thankful for his first hit of the season and for how getting it helped to elevate his mood. And I'm thankful that he's having fun on the field. 

And I'm thankful that it's time for sleep, because I. Am. Tired.

March 12

To say that we're in the thick of baseball season would be an accurate statement. Between Isaac and Brady it's go, go, go more often than it isn't.

With that said, Brady was actually slated to have a rare day off and had settled in playing a video game at the dining room table after school. But then I received an eleventh hour text from his Intermediates coach explaining that one of the boys scheduled to play in tonight's House game was injured and would Brady like to play after all? And of course he did. It took him about two minutes to change into his uniform and then we were off.

Since it was a House game (versus a Gold game), the competition wasn't as stiff as it could've been, so Brady's team came away with an 11-1 mercy rule-dictated win. He batted second in the order and went 3 for 3, with two singles and a double that narrowly missed leaving the ballpark.

Although I'd been looking forward to date night with Adam, I was happy to sit and watch Brady play. I know these days will pass quickly so I'm grateful for the opportunity to soak up the moments as they come.

March 11

I'm not huge on Mondays in general and today was a doozy so I was worn out even before the sun dipped out of sight.

My knees let me know it was raining when I woke up, which is always an auspicious way to start a day. Then there were various scheduling issues that required copious amounts of attention and baseball practices and other niggling little worries that kept my tummy tied in a partial knot. And then this evening I narrowly escaped being rear-ended by a speeding car on the freeway; I glanced up and saw it coming at me far too quickly and then I heard the frantic squealing of tires and stomped on my accelerator to get out of the way as my heart leapt into my throat and somehow, somehow, the anticipated impact never came. But the fright wiped out any trace of energy I had left. So I came home and sat down and just cried. Because, well, Monday. 

But there were bright spots, and I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge them. The accident that should've happened but did not was God at work keeping us (and I say "us" because Isaac was with me) safe. A baseball carpool situation resolved itself thanks to some parents who stepped up. I had a pleasant text exchange with one of my brothers. And I got to enjoy one of my hobbies with Brady.

My muffin likes doing things; he likes to cook and weave and rug hook, and he'd previously expressed interest in gardening. So I had him help me start some bean plants after school. He spread the soil in the starter tray and carefully put a seed in each cell and carried the tray inside and placed it in the kitchen window and listened as I explained the care procedures.

Gardening --the smell and feel of soil, the satisfaction of burying a seed and waiting for it to sprout-- is soothing to me, so it was a blessing to be able to share it with him. And after the kind of day it was, a comforting experience shared with one of my babies is just what I needed.

March 10

Today is Adam's birthday, so now he's 46 just like his sugar mama. (That would be me. I'm the sugar mama.)

Since Abby's flight back to Chicago was this morning and Brady had a game in the South Bay early this afternoon, we flipped the usual script and celebrated with cake --angel food with lemon glaze, made by our girl-- early in the day. (But have no fear: the presents came after dinner and before we played a round of a Monopoly card game.)

A little while ago, as we settled in for a little evening TV, I asked if he'd had a good day, and he replied that it'd been fine; a good family kind of day. And I was glad to hear it, because he should have good birthdays. He's a good husband and a good father and a good man. Great, really. Far better than I ever thought I deserved or would ever have. He's intelligent and hard-working and caring and kind. And he always strives to be the best person he can be, which inspires me to try harder, too.

So today, I'm thankful for 46 years of my hunny, and I'm grateful that God paired us up all those years ago. 

March 9

It was a long, baseball-heavy Saturday.

But between the games, we were able to finally acknowledge Abby's 4.0 first semester with ice cream. And I was able to sneak in another one of those sweet sibling pics that I so love and treasure.

She heads back to school for the last two months of her sophomore year tomorrow and I know we'll all miss having her around. (Even Brady, who remarked this afternoon that he felt like Abby hadn't been here very long at all and asked when she'd be back for the summer.)

But I know that Wheaton is where she belongs for now. I'm certain of it, even as her own sense of certainty wavers. And I know the next few months will fly by and she'll be back in the nest before I can blink. So for all of that, I am grateful.

March 8

Abby was originally supposed to spend the bulk of the day with her grandma, but a mid-morning text explaining that grandma wasn't feeling well left her without a plan. So we made a new one.

Following the usual stop at the Mother Ship, we swung through the drive-thru at McD's so she could satisfy her long-standing hankering for a McMuffin. 

From there we went to Target for funsies, and then to Crumbl, where I bought her a blueberry cheesecake cookie as partial payment for cleaning the boys' bathroom yesterday. (She was still probably under compensated.)

We capped off the morning festivities with lunch at Denica's. It opened relatively recently and neither of us had been, so it seemed like as good a time as any to try it out. (The verdict: pricey but big, tasty portions.)

It all served as an important reminder for me: sometimes plans change and things don't go the way we'd expected them to go. And that can be hard to accept. But changes in plans can also give rise to unexpected blessings -- like another full morning out and about with my one and only girl.