April 30

 

Isaac had a game this afternoon, and Adam's parents came down to watch as they do now and again. 

It's a good half hour drive for them to get to his school, and I know he appreciates that they take the time to come and cheer for the Dons from their chairs in the outfield.

Having them there made me think: It's a blessing to have family who show up for my kiddos' events. Abby's dance recitals and Isaac and Brady's games are really just blips on the radars of their respective lives, but it's a gift to know that they're supported in such a practical way.

April 29

These guys are having a great final year of Little League ball.

To date, the Pleasanton Juniors are 7-0. In those seven games, they've outscored their opponents by a mark of 76 to 13.

And best of all, they're having a lot of fun together. And that right there is why Brady wanted to play his Juniors season: so he could have fun on the diamond with his friends.

I don't know how the rest of the season will go and I don't know how many of them will continue on to play in high school. But I'm so grateful for their time together, because right now, it definitely feels like it has the makings of becoming a team to remember.

April 28

Brady's been working on a year-end project for Geometry class for a number of weeks now and needed Adam's help with a spreadsheet this evening. So he handed over his laptop and plunked down on the floor.

I don't have any mind-blowing observations about the scene because I really don't even understand what they were talking about. (Math is not my thing.) But I do know that it sure was sweet to see them working together to accomplish a goal. And I am grateful for that dose of sweetness.

April 27

When I sauntered into the bedroom late this afternoon, something felt different. At first, I wasn't sure what it was. Did I move the laundry to a new spot? Was the bed missing a pillow? And then it hit me: the sun was out and its rays had warmed and illuminated the carpet beneath my feet.

It had been, up until that moment, a rather dreary weekend that featured plentiful clouds and even the occasional spitter-spatter of raindrops. And my mood mostly mirrored the weather. 

So that unexpected sunlight this evening was a welcome surprise. And it made me think: even though I'd missed the sun all weekend and longed to see it break through the clouds, I almost missed it when it actually did what I wanted it to do. Isn't that crazy? 

It served as a reminder to keep vigilant; to really pay attention to what's going on around me because I don't want to miss the moments when prayers are answered.

April 26

I grew up with gardens; expansive ones brimming with Marigolds and Zinnias and tomatoes and peas. In fact, some of my earliest memories involve manually removing potato bugs from the veiny undersides of the leaves of many of those plants. And dirt... oh, how I love the earthy smell of dirt. (Just ask my kiddos.)

So it's logical that, as an adult, I'd like gardening. And I do; there's truly nothing quite as amazing as watching a brand new plant break through the soil's surface and slowly inch toward the sky. It's beautiful and incredible to realize that something that unassuming can contain as much instructional material as it does; to fully understand that a seed the size of a pin's head can become a large, productive plant.

Yes, I think God gave us an amazing gift when He created seeds and allowed us to watch them grow.

April 25

Silly pictures ran rampant in our family group chat this evening, so I decided I'd take a few of my own for kicks. This is one of them.

I adore my goofy, quick-witted, clever family members. I love how they can make me laugh out loud at random times and how smart they are and how they care for each other (even when they're engaged in near-merciless mockery).

Life can be far too heavy sometimes, so I am grateful for the joy they bring to my days.

April 24

Brady had a home game with his Juniors team this evening. It was chilly (think low 50s with wind) and overcast all day long, so us spectators donned multiple layers for the outing.

I was still cold, but the experience was good for my heart. It was a blessing to be sitting between these two (even if they did engage in a long, loud conversation that centered on math, which is most definitely not my strong suit). 

And it was a blessing to be present to see the team score another win, which brought their season record to date to 6-0. For his part, Brady went 3 for 4 with a double, 2 RBI, and 2 stolen bases.

Time spent with two of my favorite people watching another one of my favorite people play his favorite sport is always a blessing, so I am thankful.

April 23

It's been quite a while since I've found new Cars with Faces (also known as Pixar Cars; I just like to remember how Logan would say it sometimes in his cute little voice) because they continue to be popular with collectors.

But today, I finally hit pay dirt (which is a really weird expression. But I digress). I walked into Target and voila, new Cars. Still no "Logan" car (and there is one! If you see it, please get it for me! I'll pay you back!) but a few other fun ones were there waiting for me on the pegs.

I scooped them up and then headed to the Easter section to score some red jelly beans (because yum) and Cadbury Mini Eggs on clearance.

New Cars with Faces and discounted bags of candy are, of course, miniscule blips on the timeline of any given day. But God is in the details and those details made me smile, so I thank Him for the unexpected grins. 

April 22

Adam's been uber-busy with work lately but we still managed to take our date night.

We went to one of our usual spots downtown, where I enjoyed my usual glass of prosecco, Diet Coke, iceberg wedge salad, and chicken parmesan. (Yes, Abby and Charlie, it's always a good time for chick parm!) And a brownie sundae to top it all off.

But the best part was spending some time with this guy, my permanent date. And for those moments --fleeting though they may be during this season of life-- I am grateful.

April 21

The boys didn't have school today so aside from some baseball and whiffleball action, they mostly hung around the house.

The Easter Bunny brought them a Nutribullet (which is essentially a smoothie maker and yes, I know it's a little weird) yesterday so they also made chilled treats using bags of frozen fruit (which were also delivered by E.B.).

Brady was not pleased with me for taking this picture; he thought I did it because he spilled a little trying to pour out his drink. But I actually snapped it because I was quietly proud of him for being self-sufficient.

Growing up means doing more and more things for yourself, after all, so watching him choose his ingredients and prepare his own food is a blessing.

April 20

"Nothing persists but change." The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once made that rather grandiose claim and though it's an overwhelming thought, it's also an underlying truth of life on this earth.

We age. Kids grow up (like these boys in the picture here -- when did they start looking more like young men than little boys?) and eventually leave the nest. The next generation is born. Tasks that were once a breeze become challenging. Injustices happen. Hearts and relationships break. It could be a very depressing reality that we share in this perpetually changing world, if not for Easter.

But thankfully, Easter changed everything.

It secured eternal life for those who believe in Jesus and in His amazing sacrifice. It undid the laws of the day and introduced the world at-large to the kind of radical love that sets captive hearts forever free. It paved the road to Heaven. And it promises me that I will see my sweet Logan and all those who believed who have moved on again, some day.

So today, on a sunny Sunday with cinnamon rolls and Easter baskets and church and lunch at Adam's parents' house, I am deeply thankful for the much-needed change that Jesus brought to the world all those years ago.

April 19

Another day, another pair of games. So naturally, we employed the divide and conquer method.

This morning, I drove Isaac up to Concord, where the JV Dons won their game 4-1. Isaac started in left field and collected a hit.

When that game ended, we headed to Livermore to catch Brady and the TVBR 14s in action. They too won their match-up by a final score of 6-2. Brady pitched two scoreless innings and notched a hit and a walk.

It was a good day all-around, and an especially nice day with this guy right here. (Who is Isaac, in case it's not obvious.) He's a great kid, and I am blessed to be able to watch him grow.

April 18

It was one of those wonderful days. Really!

After I dropped Brady at school, I headed over to Target to meet Nikki to hang out. We got our coffee at the Mother Ship inside the store and then strolled up and down the aisles. I love her so much so it was a blessing to have that time together. 

Then I went shopping, and during a run through Safeway, I noticed a Coca Cola sale sign that featured "Logan" which (of course) made me smile.

Easter shopping followed, and then I picked Isaac up and drove him to Livermore for his game this afternoon. As he started to get out of the car, I stopped him and asked if we could pray first, so we did. And he went on to have his best game of the season at the plate, going 2 for 4 with a walk.

And then finally, we came back home for dinner, which Adam very graciously picked up for us. And now I'm about to start working on one of my currents works-in-progress.

It was a day filled with blessings, and I am so grateful for them all. And on this Good Friday, I'm also thankful that Sunday is coming!

April 17

Adam gave me this ring --the big silver one on my index finger-- for my birthday. Lest it seem like a peculiar choice for someone with child-sized hands, I should specify that it's a fitness tracker. And although I like it, I'm really good at misplacing it.

A month or so ago, I dropped it outside the dentist's office and someone turned it in. I was delighted to get it back and told myself I'd do a better job of keeping track of it. But this morning, as I was leaving the grocery store, I noticed it was gone again. And my heart sank because I'd made numerous stops and had no idea when it disappeared. I did a quick sweep of the aisles, gave the manager my number in case anyone turned it in, and hung my head in shame as I shuffled back out to my car.

I was sure that this time, it was gone. I even resigned myself to the sad fact that I'd have to admit to Adam that I'd misplaced it. Again. But as I pulled up to a red light, I felt that I should at least try the "find my ring" feature in the app, so I did. And I was surprised --and relieved-- to discover that it was traveling with me, ostensibly somewhere in my car. Long story shorter, I rooted around and found it in the passenger side when I got home, slipped it back on my finger, and told myself that I'd make sure it was charged so the "find my ring" function would actually work in the future. (Because that was my problem the first time I lost it -- the battery was dead so it couldn't connect.) 

And I also whispered a big thank you to God, because it's a blessing when something --or someone-- you've lost is found.

April 16

I had a genuinely nice time at the Mother Ship with this guy this morning.

He's smart and funny and our conversations are often, between the subject matter and the tone, just plain hilarious. 

I'm very conscious that we're nearing the end of our weekly Starbucks outings --since he starts high school in the Fall (which in and of itself will probably give me a panic attack at some point because dude this is my bay-beeee but fortunately I'm not there quite yet)-- so I'm trying to soak up every moment of the ones that still remain.

April 15

These guys right here earned a hard-fought 4-2 victory this evening.

It was, as their coach noted afterward, the first real game they'd played this season; the previous wins were absolute blowouts that didn't require much focus or, to be blunt, effort.

Despite earning the W, it's probably fair to say that they were all rusty tonight, since Spring Break was last week and the most recent game they'd played was on March 31. But it wound up being a true team effort, with mostly good pitching, a pair of great throws from behind the plate to catch would-be base stealers, and timely hitting.

For his part, Brady's contribution was a ringing double to right during his third at-bat. He pitched an inning and struggled a bit with location, but in the car on the way home, he was very upbeat nonetheless. We discussed his trouble on the mound and talked about ways to overcome nerves, and he was very open to hearing my comments. 

And even better --to me-- he voiced that he felt like he should step up as a team leader and make sure that he maintains a positive attitude in the dugout regardless of what's happening during the game. I was quietly impressed by the show of maturity, and it warmed my heart to hear him talk about doing more to support his teammates.

It was indeed a good win in many ways, I think. And I am grateful.

April 14

I went out into the backyard this afternoon to take a quick gander at the apple tree because I find its transformation throughout the year to be quite interesting.

After I contentedly noted the presence of scores of little white blossoms, I turned to look up the hill and... aah.

To my eyes, in that moment, it looked like a hidden oasis. And I felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. 

We have a beautiful place to call home, and I am grateful for the sights and sounds that I can enjoy every single day right here in my backyard.

April 13

I love donuts.

But given that they have virtually zero nutritional value and I am a woman of a certain age who has a great deal of difficulty shedding surplus pounds, I rarely indulge in them.

However, Adam bought a dozen this morning during a grocery store run and I fully enjoyed a maple'y one with my coffee. I carefully chose it from the box and took a bite with no hesitation. It was delicious.

It was sweet (no pun intended) of him to buy them for the rest of us, especially since Adam doesn't like donuts. So I am grateful for the unexpected frosted treat.

April 12

Another day, another game. Tis the season, after all!

It wound up being a bit of a tooth and nail affair, but the final out snapped a long losing streak. And seeing a W go up rather than yet another L was a big blessing for our beleaguered boys.

All frustrations over the game aside (and there were plenty), it was a beautiful day to be outside, I had a mask to keep the allergens at bay, and I got to spend time with my favorite folks. So for all of that, I am grateful.

April 11

Before this afternoon's utterly forgettable baseball game (and trust me, it was a doozy on the terrible-ness scale), there was a brief moment of sweetness at our house.

Brady's been working on his end-of-year geometry project for a few weeks now (which is kind of funny because technically, the topic hasn't even been approved yet). He came to a place in the process where he needed a little guidance with coding, so he asked Isaac for an assist. And bigger brother complied.

It's a blessing that they're willing to share knowledge and help one another to succeed.

April 10

Brady made two announcements this afternoon. The first was that he and Jackson were going to ride their bikes to Isaac's game. The second was that he was going to make four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to take along -- two for him and two for his friend.

As soon as I heard his plans, my heart panged. I love that he wanted to share what he has in such a practical way. So I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he assembled his sandwiches and loaded them into Ziploc bags. 

He protested my picture attempt (which is why he's not looking at the camera) but I wanted to remember the moment because it continues to be a blessing to watch him grow and mature.

April 9

Today is National Unicorn Day. Surprisingly, I was unaware of the date's significance when I first got out of bed; Brady let me know that it was Chub (pronounced Choob)'s special day as I was leaving for the Mother Ship.

He proceeded to let me know several additional times over via text, and proposed that Chub get a Frosty from Wendy's to celebrate the occasion.

I didn't reply to the mini-stream of electronic notes that peppered my inbox, but as I made my way from Starbucks to the kids' doctors' office (for Isaac's immunization records so Adam could finish his summer camp registration) to Walmart to Target to Costco (for eggs, because let me tell you, they have the very best deal on eggs right now!), I decided I would go ahead and get that Frosty. And not because Brady nagged me, but because I felt like doing something nice for my people.

So I swung through the drive-thru, got three Frostys and a Diet Cherry Vanilla Coke, and headed home. (As a total aside, I had a big Thank You Jesus moment when, as I turned at a light, my Diet Coke popped out of the drink carrier and did a complete head-over-tail 360. I caught it right-side up between my knee and the center console and somehow, miraculously, only four drops of soda escaped the cup. I was amazed. And grateful that a) I would still get to enjoy my soda and b) I would not have to scrub sticky cherry syrup from my car's interior.)

Anyway, when I got home, the boys (and Chub, I suppose) gratefully accepted their treats, and I requested a Cute Picture in return. And so here it is: my cute picture of my brositos on National Unicorn Day. I am grateful to have the ability to give them fun treats now and again, and I'm grateful for their willingness to humor me with pictures. And I'm most grateful for the gift of being their mom.

April 8

The bros didn't have Youth Group tonight, and when I asked them what they wanted to do for dinner, Brady said he figured Adam and I would go somewhere for our usual Tuesday night date and they'd figure it out on their own. 

We were skeptical as we drove away, but since I made sure we had plenty of food in the house (because of the whole Spring-Break-with-teenage-boys thing), I figured they'd be okay.

Although they were indeed as okay, hilarity apparently ensued in our absence. It began with a confused text from Isaac asking if he *needed* to use flour in mac and cheese, continued with Brady accidentally flinging a water bottle at the kitchen wall while doing the gritty, and concluded with both of them eating scrambled eggs.

It sounded just as convoluted as it probably does here, but they were so amused and Brady was laughing so hard while re-telling the story that it made me smile. So for their fledgling attempt at culinary independence and for their good-natured attitudes about the whole shebang, I am grateful.

April 7

I'd call it a successful first day of Spring Break. I went to Starbucks and then on to Bible Study, cleaned the kitchen and first floor bathroom, folded some laundry, and crocheted. The boys, after mulling their options, decided --at my suggestion-- to go to the park, and were there for more than two hours playing a game that involved a wiffle bat and ball. Then they came home and I joined them for some "Phineas and Ferb" (while I crocheted more. And yeah, between the scrubbing and the hook action, my arm is sore).

The only wrinkle came at dinner time. I won't go into specifics, but I wound up going into our room and closing the door because someone said something that bothered me. 

A few minutes later, the door cracked open and Brady --who was not the party who said the bothersome words-- came inside. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but as he approached, he said something that surprised me: in a nutshell, that I'm a good mom and that they love me and that the words I'd heard were untrue. And then he left. (There's more to it than that, of course, but those are the bare bones.)

Anyway, I was struck by the unexpected show of maturity from my 14-year old. He sensed that I needed some encouragement, and he provided it. And I'm grateful that he did.

April 6

Brady announced that he was bored this afternoon and said he wanted to make something. So we poked around in the pantry until I came across a forgotten bag of peanut butter chips and I suggested he make the recipe on the label.

Although I know he's perfectly capable of baking on his own, he asked me to help, so I hung around to give guidance (and softened butter in the microwave, since that's not something in his skill set quite yet). 

I watched as he mixed the flour and cocoa powder. I held my breath at he cracked the egg and carefully dropped it into the bowl. (No shell!) And I demonstrated an effective method of mixing the ingredients by hand. 

And in the end, he had a few dozen delicious chocolate peanut butter cookies cooling on a rack. 

He's never really been a kid who likes to sit around doing nothing at all, so I'm thankful for his industriousness and for his willingness to try something new. (And for the cookies, too, because I do love peanut butter and chocolate.)

April 5

It was a nice day out, so during the early afternoon hours, the boys went to the park to play catch while Adam and I took a stroll around the neighborhood.

As we passed by the park during the latter part of our trek, Isaac and Brady --who had tired of their game-- joined us. I'm still in recovery mode from my allergy-slash-cold attack from earlier this week (and I was wearing a mask) so I poked along at the back of the pack, which allowed me to snap a pic of My Boys.

Way back when, it wasn't unusual for us to take family walks, but it's not a practice that continued when we moved into our current home five years ago. So it was a sweet nostalgic treat to walk (and in Brady's case, roll) together today.

April 4

It was a day filled with blessings.

The final school bell of the day ushered in Spring Break.

Brady and his friend Jackson rode their bikes to McDonalds for Big Macs (the Minecraft adult happy meal, to be precise) and then rode over to the high school to watch Isaac's game. It was Brady's first time doing both things, and though I was nervous over the idea of him riding in traffic, it went just fine.

Isaac smacked a beautiful double to center field during said-game.

And we enjoyed a post-game dinner out with Adam's parents, who attended the game. Their birthdays were yesterday (mom) and this coming Monday (dad) so it was sweet to be able to celebrate them.

So yes, today was filled with blessings. And I am thankful for each of them.

April 3

I am overwhelmed. 

And these days when I feel overwhelmed, I crochet. So for several hours today, I furiously worked my hook through the yarn as if the speed of my hands could somehow grant me faster understanding of things that make no sense, thereby alleviating the unpleasant sensation of being overwhelmed.

But that didn't happen, of course, because some things that happen in our very human realm don't make sense.

And this most definitely does not make sense: Our church family suffered the loss of one of our own a few days ago in horribly tragic fashion. Hers was a lovely life taken far too soon by someone she should've been able to trust. It's awful and heartbreaking. And for me, unexpectedly triggering.

When I heard the news, I was transported back in time more than 30 years to my middle school days, when the mom of a friend of ours who lived just three houses down was shot and killed by our friend's stepfather. The sharpness of the violence was surreal and I remember literally collapsing when I got home from school that cold February day and another neighbor told me what had happened. About the SWAT team and how our other neighbor had helped to drag her injured body into his yard. That no, she wasn't okay. That she was dead. Just... gone. That day changed me.

I remember being deeply affected; I wore all black to school the following day and a cloud of grief hung over me for weeks like a wool coat. Eventually, I dealt with it by not thinking about it anymore. I put the memories in a box, sealed it, shelved it, and moved on. 

Until this week. Thirty-some years later and a similar tragedy broke the seal on those memories and uneasy feelings, and I wasn't ready for it. I'm tempted to do what I did before and just stow the awfulness away in that old box, but that doesn't seem right, because now, as an adult with significantly more life experience under my belt, I understand more about life and death. And more importantly, I know more about God. I know that God weeps when we weep; I know that it grieves His heart when we use our free will to make choices that leave others with painful scars. I know that He wants the best for us but that He will never force us to make choices that will lead to those best lives because He wants us to feel the depth of His love and choose Him.

Yes, I know that He is good, even when I don't understand and when it makes no sense, just like I knew He was good even after Logan died. And I know that He comforts us when we weep and brings solace when we ask Him to be near. And that's a heartening, encouraging truth.

So tonight, I am grateful for the peace that He brings that will --eventually-- settle my overwhelmed feelings. And I am grateful for His goodness, even when this world makes no sense.

April 2

This week I've been dealing with either allergies or an especially nasty cold --the jury's still out on which it is-- so I feel kind of like I'm walking around underwater, if that makes sense. But there were still things to be done, including Brady's little league make-up photo day and an away game for Isaac.

Playing at Granada is always an experience because their kids are, for the most part, really-really good. And, as Isaac mused on the way home after said-game today, they really-really love baseball.

But the final score notwithstanding, it was a good showing for Isaac, who singled during one of his at-bats and had a huge catch on the right field warning track that ended an inning and prevented several additional runs from crossing the plate. And I could hear him out there in right field throughout the game, too, offering up encouraging words to his teammates.

And best of all, he was chipper on the way home and then during and after dinner, too. Seeing that extra spring in his step is a blessing.

April 1

When Adam and I went to dinner tonight, we were seated in an area that's often forgotten by servers (as we knew from previous experience).

As we waited (and waited), Adam assumed this pose. He froze just like this --smiling at and making eye contact with everyone who passed by-- until our waiter finally appeared.

He can be such a goofball at times. It was one of the (many) things I liked about him when we were young. We don't have nearly as many lighthearted, silly moments as we did back then --mostly because we're busier and older and have more responsibilities than we did as teenagers and twentysomethings-- but I'm always thankful for the moments when they come.